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> 在线听力 > 有声读物 > 世界名著 > 柳林风声 >  第6篇

柳林风声:Mr. Toad 蟾蜍先生

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2017年09月19日

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It was a bright morning in the early part of summer; the river had resumed its wonted banks and its accustomed pace, and a hot sun seemed to be pulling everything green and bushy and spiky up out of the earth towards him, as if by strings. The Mole and the Water Rat had been up since dawn, very busy on matters connected with boats and the opening of the boating season; painting and varnishing, mending paddles, repairing cushions, hunting for missing boat-hooks, and so on; and were finishing breakfast in their little parlour and eagerly discussing their plans for the day, when a heavy knock sounded at the door.

这是初夏的一个阳光灿烂的早晨。大河两岸已经重现原貌,河水恢复了通常的流速,暖烘烘的太阳,仿佛用无数根细绳,把万物从地下拔起,拽向他自己,使它们变得绿油油、郁葱葱、高 耸耸。鼹鼠和河鼠天一亮就起床,忙着为即将开始的游艇季节作准备,油漆船身啦,整理桨叶啦,修补坐垫啦,寻找丢失的带钩子的船篙啦,等等。他们正在客厅里吃早饭,热烈地讨论当天的计划,忽听得一声重重的敲门声。

‘Bother!’ said the Rat, all over egg. ‘See who it is, Mole, like a good chap, since you’ve finished.’

“麻烦!”河鼠说,满嘴都是鸡蛋。“鼹鼠,好小伙,你已经吃完了,去看看是谁来了。”

The Mole went to attend the summons, and the Rat heard him utter a cry of surprise. Then he flung the parlour door open, and announced with much importance, ‘Mr. Badger!’

鼹鼠起身去开门,河鼠听到他惊喜地喊了一声。随后,鼹鼠一下子打开客厅的门,郑重地宣布说:“獾先生驾到!”

This was a wonderful thing, indeed, that the Badger should pay a formal call on them, or indeed on anybody. He generally had to be caught, if you wanted him badly, as he slipped quietly along a hedgerow of an early morning or a late evening, or else hunted up in his own house in the middle of the Wood, which was a serious undertaking.

这真是很不寻常,獾竟会亲自登门拜访他们,因为他是难得拜访任何人的。一般说,如果你急于见他,你就得在清晨或黄昏时趁他在树篱旁悄悄溜过时去遇他,或者到野林深处他家去找他,那可是件非同小可的事。

The Badger strode heavily into the room, and stood looking at the two animals with an expression full of seriousness. The Rat let his egg-spoon fall on the table-cloth, and sat open-mouthed.

獾脚步重重地踱进屋,站着不动,神情严肃地望着两位朋友。河鼠手里的蛋勺不由得落在了桌布上,嘴巴张得大大的。

‘The hour has come!’ said the Badger at last with great solemnity.

“时辰到了!”獾庄严宣称。

‘What hour?’ asked the Rat uneasily, glancing at the clock on the mantelpiece.

“什么时辰?”河鼠瞟了一眼炉台上的钟,不安地问。

‘WHOSE hour, you should rather say,’ replied the Badger. ‘Why, Toad’s hour! The hour of Toad! I said I would take him in hand as soon as the winter was well over, and I’m going to take him in hand to-day!’

“你应该问,‘谁的时辰’,”獾答道。“当然,是蟾蜍的时辰!我说过,等冬天一过。我就要管教管教他,今天,我就是来管教他的。”

‘Toad’s hour, of course!’ cried the Mole delightedly. ‘Hooray! I remember now! WE’LL teach him to be a sensible Toad!’

“当然啰,是蟾蜍的时辰!”鼹鼠高兴地说。“乌拉!我想起来啦!咱们大伙是要去教训教训他,让他变得清醒点!”

‘This very morning,’ continued the Badger, taking an arm-chair, ‘as I learnt last night from a trustworthy source, another new and exceptionally powerful motor-car will arrive at Toad Hall on approval or return. At this very moment, perhaps, Toad is busy arraying himself in those singularly hideous habiliments so dear to him, which transform him from a (comparatively) good-looking Toad into an Object which throws any decent-minded animal that comes across it into a violent fit. We must be up and doing, ere it is too late. You two animals will accompany me instantly to Toad Hall, and the work of rescue shall be accomplished.’

“昨晚我得到可靠的消息,”獾坐在一张扶手椅上,接着说,“说就在今天上午,又有一辆马力特大的新汽车,要开到蟾宫,由他选购,或者退货。说不定这会儿,蟾蜍已经在穿戴他心爱的那套其丑无比的服装了。本来还不难看的蟾蜍,穿上那身衣服,就成了个怪物,不管哪个头脑清醒的动物见到他,都会吓晕过去的。咱们得及早动手,要不就太迟了。你二位得陪我去一趟蟾宫,务必去拯救拯救蟾蜍。”

‘Right you are!’ cried the Rat, starting up. ‘We’ll rescue the poor unhappy animal! We’ll convert him! He’ll be the most converted Toad that ever was before we’ve done with him!’

“说得对!”河鼠跳起来喊道。“咱们要去拯救那个可怜虫!咱们要帮他改邪归正!要把他变成最最规矩懂事的蟾蜍,不然的话,咱们就得跟他一刀两断!”

They set off up the road on their mission of mercy, Badger leading the way. Animals when in company walk in a proper and sensible manner, in single file, instead of sprawling all across the road and being of no use or support to each other in case of sudden trouble or danger.

他们出发上路,去执行一项行善的任务,獾在前领路。动物们在结伴同行时,总是采取一种适当而合理的走法,就是排成竖行,而不是横跨整个路面。因为如果那样走,在突遇麻烦或危险时,就不便互相支援协助。

They reached the carriage-drive of Toad Hall to find, as the Badger had anticipated, a shiny new motor-car, of great size, painted a bright red (Toad’s favourite colour), standing in front of the house. As they neared the door it was flung open, and Mr. Toad, arrayed in goggles, cap, gaiters, and enormous overcoat, came swaggering down the steps, drawing on his gauntleted gloves.

他们来到蟾宫的大车道时,果如獾所料,看到房前停着一辆闪光锃亮的汽车,大型号,漆成鲜红色(这是蟾蜍最喜欢的颜色)。他们走到门口时,大门猛地打开,里面走出蟾蜍先生。他戴着护目镜、便帽,穿着长统靴和一件又肥又大的外套,摇摇摆摆,神气活现地走下台阶,一边往手上戴他那副宽口的大手套。

‘Hullo! come on, you fellows!’ he cried cheerfully on catching sight of them. ‘You’re just in time to come with me for a jolly—to come for a jolly—for a—er—jolly----‘

“嗨!伙计们,来呀!”一看到他们,蟾蜍就兴高采烈地喊道。“你们来得正是时候,跟我一道去痛快——痛快——呃——痛快——”

His hearty accents faltered and fell away as he noticed the stern unbending look on the countenances of his silent friends, and his invitation remained unfinished.

可是,看到几位朋友全都绷着脸,沉默不语,蟾蜍那热情洋溢的话变得结结巴巴,说不下去了,对他们的邀请也只说出一半。

The Badger strode up the steps. ‘Take him inside,’ he said sternly to his companions. Then, as Toad was hustled through the door, struggling and protesting, he turned to the chauffeur in charge of the new motor-car.

獾大步走上台阶。“把他弄进屋去,”他严肃地吩咐两位同伴说。蟾蜍一路挣扎,抗议,被推搡到门里。獾转身对驾驶新车的司机说:

‘I’m afraid you won’t be wanted to-day,’ he said. ‘Mr. Toad has changed his mind. He will not require the car. Please understand that this is final. You needn’t wait.’ Then he followed the others inside and shut the door.

“今天恐怕用不着你了,蟾蜍先生已经改变主意,不要这辆车了。请你明白,这是最后决定,你不用再等了。”说罢,他跟着那几个走进屋去,关上大门。

‘Now then!’ he said to the Toad, when the four of them stood together in the Hall, ‘first of all, take those ridiculous things off!’

当四只动物都站在过道里时,獾对蟾蜍说:“现在,你先把这身劳什子脱掉!”

‘Shan’t!’ replied Toad, with great spirit. ‘What is the meaning of this gross outrage? I demand an instant explanation.’

“就不!”蟾蜍怒冲冲地说。“这样蛮不讲理的干涉,什么意思?我要你们立刻解释清楚。”

‘Take them off him, then, you two,’ ordered the Badger briefly.

“那么,你们两个,替他脱!”獾简短地发布命令。

They had to lay Toad out on the floor, kicking and calling all sorts of names, before they could get to work properly. Then the Rat sat on him, and the Mole got his motor-clothes off him bit by bit, and they stood him up on his legs again. A good deal of his blustering spirit seemed to have evaporated with the removal of his fine panoply. Now that he was merely Toad, and no longer the Terror of the Highway, he giggled feebly and looked from one to the other appealingly, seeming quite to understand the situation.

蟾蜍不住地踢踹,叫骂,他们不得不把他按倒在地,才能顺当地给他脱衣。河鼠坐在他身上,鼹鼠一件一件扒下他的驾驶服,然后他们把他提着站起来。随着蟾蜍的全副精良披挂被剥掉,他那大吼大叫的威风也消失大半了。现在,既然他不再是公路凶神,而只不过是蟾蜍,他只有无力地格格笑着,求饶似地看看这个,看看那个,像是彻底明白了他的处境。

‘You knew it must come to this, sooner or later, Toad,’ the Badger explained severely.You’ve disregarded all the warnings we’ve given you, you’ve gone on squandering the money your father left you, and you’re getting us animals a bad name in the district by your furious driving and your smashes and your rows with the police. Independence is all very well, but we animals never allow our friends to make fools of themselves beyond a certain limit; and that limit you’ve reached. Now, you’re a good fellow in many respects, and I don’t want to be too hard on you. I’ll make one more effort to bring you to reason. You will come with me into the smoking-room, and there you will hear some facts about yourself; and we’ll see whether you come out of that room the same Toad that you went in.’

“你知道,蟾蜍,早晚会有这一天的,”獾严厉地训诫说。“我们给过你那么多劝告,你全当耳边风。你一个劲儿挥霍你父亲留下的钱财。你发狂似地开车,横冲直撞,跟警察争吵,你在整个地区败坏了我们动物的名声。独立自主固然好,但我们动物绝不能听任朋友把自己变成傻瓜,越轨出格,你现在已经大大出格了。在许多方面,你都是挺不错的,我不愿对你过分严厉。我要再作一次努力,使你恢复理性。你跟我到吸烟室来,听我数落数落你的所作所为。等你从那间房里出来时,看能不能成为一个改过自新的蟾蜍。”

He took Toad firmly by the arm, led him into the smoking-room, and closed the door behind them.

他牢牢抓住蟾蜍的臂,把他带进吸烟室,随手带上了门。

‘THAT’S no good!’ said the Rat contemptuously. ‘TALKING to Toad’ll never cure him. He’ll SAY anything.’

“那管什么用!”河鼠不屑地说。”给蟾蜍讲道理,治不了他的毛病。他会满口答应,事后不改。”

They made themselves comfortable in armchairs and waited patiently. Through the closed door they could just hear the long continuous drone of the Badger’s voice, rising and falling in waves of oratory; and presently they noticed that the sermon began to be punctuated at intervals by long-drawn sobs, evidently proceeding from the bosom of Toad, who was a soft-hearted and affectionate fellow, very easily converted—for the time being—to any point of view.

他俩安安逸逸坐在扶手椅上,静候结果。透过紧闭的门,他们只听到獾那又长又低的训话声,一阵高,一阵低,滔滔不绝。过了一会,他们注意到獾的训话声不时被长长的抽泣声打断,那显然是发自蟾蜍的内心,因为他是个心肠软重感情的动物,很容易——暂时地——听信任何观点的规劝。

After some three-quarters of an hour the door opened, and the Badger reappeared, solemnly leading by the paw a very limp and dejected Toad. His skin hung baggily about him, his legs wobbled, and his cheeks were furrowed by the tears so plentifully called forth by the Badger’s moving discourse.

约莫过了三刻钟,门开了,獾庄严地牵着一个软弱无力没精打采的蟾蜍走了出来。他的皮肤像口袋似的松垮垮地搭拉着,两腿摇摇晃晃,他被獾那感人肺腑的规劝打动了,腮帮子上满是泪痕。

‘Sit down there, Toad,’ said the Badger kindly, pointing to a chair. ‘My friends,’ he went on, ‘I am pleased to inform you that Toad has at last seen the error of his ways. He is truly sorry for his misguided conduct in the past, and he has undertaken to give up motor-cars entirely and for ever. I have his solemn promise to that effect.’

“坐在这儿,蟾蜍,”獾指着一张椅子,和蔼地说。“朋友们,我很高兴地告诉你们,蟾蜍终于认识到他的做法是错误的。他对过去的越轨行为由衷地感到遗憾,决心再也不玩汽车了。他向我作出了庄严的保证。”

‘That is very good news,’ said the Mole gravely.

“这真是个大好消息,”鼹鼠郑重其事地说。

‘Very good news indeed,’ observed the Rat dubiously, ‘if only—IF only----‘

“确实是个大好消息,”河鼠疑疑惑惑地说,“只要——只要——”

He was looking very hard at Toad as he said this, and could not help thinking he perceived something vaguely resembling a twinkle in that animal’s still sorrowful eye.

他说这话时,眼睛紧盯着蟾蜍,仿佛看到,在蟾蜍那仍然悲悲戚戚的眼睛里,有种什么东西闪了一下。

‘There’s only one thing more to be done,’ continued the gratified Badger. ‘Toad, I want you solemnly to repeat, before your friends here, what you fully admitted to me in the smoking-room just now. First, you are sorry for what you’ve done, and you see the folly of it all?’

“现在,你还得做一件事,”甚感快慰的獾接着说。“蟾蜍,我要求你当着这两位朋友的面,把你刚才在吸烟室里答应过我的话,庄严地重复一遍。第一,你为过去的行为感到遗憾,你认识到那全是胡闹,是不是?”

There was a long, long pause. Toad looked desperately this way and that, while the other animals waited in grave silence. At last he spoke.

长时间的沉默。蟾蜍绝望地望望这边,望望那边,另几只动物都在严肃地默默等待。最后,他终于开腔了。

‘No!’ he said, a little sullenly, but stoutly; ‘I’m NOT sorry. And it wasn’t folly at all! It was simply glorious!’

“不!”他脸色阴沉但气壮如牛地说,“我不遗憾。那根本就不是什么胡闹!那是光荣的!”

‘What?’ cried the Badger, greatly scandalised. ‘You backsliding animal, didn’t you tell me just now, in there----‘

“什么?”獾大为惊骇地喊道。“你这个出尔反尔说话不算数的家伙!刚才,在那屋,你不是明明告诉我——”

‘Oh, yes, yes, in THERE,’ said Toad impatiently. ‘I’d have said anything in THERE. You’re so eloquent, dear Badger, and so moving, and so convincing, and put all your points so frightfully well—you can do what you like with me in THERE, and you know it. But I’ve been searching my mind since, and going over things in it, and I find that I’m not a bit sorry or repentant really, so it’s no earthly good saying I am; now, is it?’

“是啊,是啊,在那屋,”蟾蜍不耐烦地说。“在那屋,我什么都会说的。亲爱的獾,你口若悬河,那么感人,那么有说服力,把你的看法摆得头头是道,在那屋,你可以任意摆布我,这你知道。可是过后,我左思右想,把我做过的事细细琢磨了一遍,我发觉,我确实半点儿也不遗憾,不懊悔。所以,说我遗憾悔过,根本没意义。是这个理儿不是?”

‘Then you don’t promise,’ said the Badger, ‘never to touch a motor-car again?’

“那么,”獾说,“你是不打算答应我,再也不碰汽车啦?”

‘Certainly not!’ replied Toad emphatically. ‘On the contrary, I faithfully promise that the very first motor-car I see, poop-poop! off I go in it!’

“当然不!”蟾蜍斩钉截铁地说。“正相反,我诚心诚意答应你,只要我看到一辆汽车,噗噗,我就坐上开走!”

‘Told you so, didn’t I?’ observed the Rat to the Mole.

“瞧,我早就跟你说过不是?”河鼠对鼹鼠说。

‘Very well, then,’ said the Badger firmly, rising to his feet. ‘Since you won’t yield to persuasion, we’ll try what force can do. I feared it would come to this all along. You’ve often asked us three to come and stay with you, Toad, in this handsome house of yours; well, now we’re going to. When we’ve converted you to a proper point of view we may quit, but not before. Take him upstairs, you two, and lock him up in his bedroom, while we arrange matters between ourselves.’

“那好,”獾站了起来,坚决果断地说,“既然你不听规劝,那咱们就只好试试强制手段了。我一直担心,这步棋是在所难免的。蟾蜍,你不是总邀请我们三个来你这幢漂亮房子跟你一道住住吗,现在,我们就住下了。哪天我们把你的想法改得对头了,我们就离开,否则不走。你二位,把他带上楼去,锁在卧室里,然后我们几个来商量个办法。”

‘It’s for your own good, Toady, you know,’ said the Rat kindly, as Toad, kicking and struggling, was hauled up the stairs by his two faithful friends. ‘Think what fun we shall all have together, just as we used to, when you’ve quite got over this—this painful attack of yours!’

蟾蜍连踢带踹地挣扎着,被两位忠实朋友拖上楼去。“要知道,蟾儿,这是为你好,”河鼠和蔼地说。“你想想,等你——等你治好了这场倒霉的疯病以后,咱们四个就像往常一样一块儿玩,该有多乐呀!”

‘We’ll take great care of everything for you till you’re well, Toad,’ said the Mole; ‘and we’ll see your money isn’t wasted, as it has been.’

“蟾蜍,在你治好之前,我们会为你照管好一切的,”鼹鼠说:“我们不能看着你像过去那样乱花钱了。”

‘No more of those regrettable incidents with the police, Toad,’ said the Rat, as they thrust him into his bedroom.

“再也不能由着你和警察胡缠了,蟾蜍。”河鼠说,他们把他推进卧室。

‘And no more weeks in hospital, being ordered about by female nurses, Toad,’ added the Mole, turning the key on him.

“再也不让你在医院一住几星期,被那些女护士支来唤去了。”鼹鼠添上一句,锁上了房门。

They descended the stair, Toad shouting abuse at them through the keyhole; and the three friends then met in conference on the situation.

他们下楼来。蟾蜍对着锁眼高声叫骂了一通。然后,三个朋友开碰头会,商议对策。

‘It’s going to be a tedious business,’ said the Badger, sighing. ‘I’ve never seen Toad so determined. However, we will see it out. He must never be left an instant unguarded. We shall have to take it in turns to be with him, till the poison has worked itself out of his system.’

“事情将很难办,”獾叹了口气说。“我从没见过蟾蜍这样死心眼儿。不过,咱们一定要坚持到底。一分一秒都不能放松,严加看管。咱们得轮流值班守护,直到他身上的毒痛自行消失为止。”

They arranged watches accordingly. Each animal took it in turns to sleep in Toad’s room at night, and they divided the day up between them. At first Toad was undoubtedly very trying to his careful guardians. When his violent paroxysms possessed him he would arrange bedroom chairs in rude resemblance of a motor-car and would crouch on the foremost of them, bent forward and staring fixedly ahead, making uncouth and ghastly noises, till the climax was reached, when, turning a complete somersault, he would lie prostrate amidst the ruins of the chairs, apparently completely satisfied for the moment. As time passed, however, these painful seizures grew gradually less frequent, and his friends strove to divert his mind into fresh channels. But his interest in other matters did not seem to revive, and he grew apparently languid and depressed.

于是,他们安排了值班。每只动物夜间轮流睡在蟾蜍的卧室里,白天也分段值班。起初,对于几个小心谨慎的朋友,蟾蜍自然是很不好对付的。他的狂热劲一上来,就把卧室里的椅子摆成大体像辆汽车的样子,自己蹲在最前面,身子前倾,两眼紧盯前方,嘴里发出古怪可怕的嘈杂声。狂热达到顶点时,他会翻一个大筋斗,倒在地上,摊开四肢躺在东倒西歪的椅子当中、暂时得到了极大的满足。不过,日子一天天过去,这种痛苦的走火入魔越来越少了。他的朋友们千方百计想引导他把心思转移到别的方面,可是他对其他事物似乎一直没有恢复兴趣。他明显变得萎靡不振郁郁寡欢了。

One fine morning the Rat, whose turn it was to go on duty, went upstairs to relieve Badger, whom he found fidgeting to be off and stretch his legs in a long ramble round his wood and down his earths and burrows. ‘Toad’s still in bed,’ he told the Rat, outside the door. ‘Can’t get much out of him, except, “O leave him alone, he wants nothing, perhaps he’ll be better presently, it may pass off in time, don’t be unduly anxious,” and so on. Now, you look out, Rat! When Toad’s quiet and submissive and playing at being the hero of a Sunday-school prize, then he’s at his artfullest. There’s sure to be something up. I know him. Well, now, I must be off.’

一个晴朗的早晨,轮到河鼠值班,他上楼去接替獾。他看到獾坐立不安,急着要出去散散步,遛遛腿,绕着他的树林转一圈,到地下去走一遭儿。他在门外对河鼠说:“蟾蜍还设起床。没法从他嘴里掏出多少话,只说:‘噢,别管我,我什么也不要。也许过不久我就会好的,到时候,毛病就会过去的,不必过分担忧,’等等。河鼠,你要多加小心啊!每当蟾蜍变得安静柔顺,装出一副主日学得奖乖孩子的模样时,那也就是他最最狡猾的时候。肯定会耍什么鬼花招的。我了解他。好,现在我必须走了。”

‘How are you to-day, old chap?’ inquired the Rat cheerfully, as he approached Toad’s bedside.

“老伙计,今儿个你好吗?”河鼠走到蟾蜍的床旁,愉快地问道。

He had to wait some minutes for an answer. At last a feeble voice replied, ‘Thank you so much, dear Ratty! So good of you to inquire! But first tell me how you are yourself, and the excellent Mole?’

他等了好几分钟,才听到回答。这时,一个微弱的声音答道:“亲爱的鼠儿,多谢你了!承你问候,你真好!不过请先告诉我,你好吗,鼹鼠老兄好吗?”。

‘O, WE’RE all right,’ replied the Rat. ‘Mole,’ he added incautiously, ‘is going out for a run round with Badger. They’ll be out till luncheon time, so you and I will spend a pleasant morning together, and I’ll do my best to amuse you. Now jump up, there’s a good fellow, and don’t lie moping there on a fine morning like this!’

“噢,我们都好,”河鼠答道,他很不谨慎地又加上一句:“鼹鼠跟獾一道出去遛弯了,要到吃午饭才回来。所以,今天上午就剩你跟我单独在一起,咱们要过得高高兴兴。我要尽力让你开心。快跳下床来,好小伙。天气这么好,别愁眉苦脸地赖在床上了!

‘Dear, kind Rat,’ murmured Toad, ‘how little you realise my condition, and how very far I am from “jumping up” now—if ever! But do not trouble about me. I hate being a burden to my friends, and I do not expect to be one much longer. Indeed, I almost hope not.’

“亲爱的、好心肠的河鼠,”蟾蜍低声咕哝,“你太不了解我的情况了,我现在怎么可能‘跳下床’呢?恐怕永远也不可能了!不过请不用为我发愁。我不愿成为朋友们的累赘,料想这也不会很久了。真的,我希望不会太久。”

‘Well, I hope not, too,’ said the Rat heartily. ‘You’ve been a fine bother to us all this time, and I’m glad to hear it’s going to stop. And in weather like this, and the boating season just beginning! It’s too bad of you, Toad! It isn’t the trouble we mind, but you’re making us miss such an awful lot.’

“是啊,我也希望这样。”河鼠恳切地说。“这阵子,你叫我们大伙伤透了脑筋,我很高兴听到你说,这一切都将结束。特别是天气这么好,划船的季节又到了!蟾蜍,你实在太差劲了!倒不是我们嫌麻烦,可你叫我们失去了许多东西!”

‘I’m afraid it IS the trouble you mind, though,’ replied the Toad languidly. ‘I can quite understand it. It’s natural enough. You’re tired of bothering about me. I mustn’t ask you to do anything further. I’m a nuisance, I know.’

“不过,恐怕你们还是嫌麻烦,”蟾蜍有气无力地说。“这一点我很能理解。这很自然嘛。你们一直为我操心,已经感到厌烦了。我不该再给你们添麻烦、我知道,我是个累赘。”

‘You are, indeed,’ said the Rat. ‘But I tell you, I’d take any trouble on earth for you, if only you’d be a sensible animal.’

“你确实是个累赘,”河鼠说。“不过我告诉你,只要你能明理懂事,我为你出多大力也甘心。”

‘If I thought that, Ratty,’ murmured Toad, more feebly than ever, ‘then I would beg you—for the last time, probably—to step round to the village as quickly as possible—even now it may be too late—and fetch the doctor. But don’t you bother. It’s only a trouble, and perhaps we may as well let things take their course.’

“既然这样,鼠儿,”蟾蜍更加虚弱地低声说,“那么我求你——也许是最后一次——尽快到村里去一趟——说不定已经太晚了——请个大夫来。算了吧,别操这份心了。这事太麻烦。也许,还是听其自然好。”

‘Why, what do you want a doctor for?’ inquired the Rat, coming closer and examining him. He certainly lay very still and flat, and his voice was weaker and his manner much changed.

“怎么,请大夫来干吗?”河鼠问。他凑到蟾蜍跟前,仔细观察他。蟾蜍确实静静地平躺在床上,声音越发微弱,神态大大地变了。

‘Surely you have noticed of late----‘ murmured Toad. ‘But, no—why should you? Noticing things is only a trouble. To-morrow, indeed, you may be saying to yourself, “O, if only I had noticed sooner! If only I had done something!” But no; it’s a trouble. Never mind— forget that I asked.’

“你近来一定注意到——”蟾蜍喃喃道。“啊不——你怎么会注意到?那太麻烦了。也许到明天,你就会说,‘唉,我要是早注意到就好了!我要是采取措施就好了!’不不,那太麻烦了。没关系,忘掉我这些话吧。”

‘Look here, old man,’ said the Rat, beginning to get rather alarmed, ‘of course I’ll fetch a doctor to you, if you really think you want him. But you can hardly be bad enough for that yet. Let’s talk about something else.’

“听着,老朋友,”河鼠说,他有点惊慌起来,“如果你真的需要,我自然会去替你请大夫的。可你还没病到那个地步呀。咱们还是谈点别的吧。”

‘I fear, dear friend,’ said Toad, with a sad smile, ‘that “talk” can do little in a case like this—or doctors either, for that matter; still, one must grasp at the slightest straw. And, by the way—while you are about it—I HATE to give you additional trouble, but I happen to remember that you will pass the door—would you mind at the same time asking the lawyer to step up? It would be a convenience to me, and there are moments—perhaps I should say there is A moment—when one must face disagreeable tasks, at whatever cost to exhausted nature!’

“亲爱的朋友,”蟾蜍惨笑着说,“光是‘谈谈’,对我这病恐怕是无济于事的——就连医生恐怕也无能为力了。不过,总得抓根稻草吧。顺便说一句,既然你打算去请医先,那就请你顺路把律师也请来,好吗?——我实在不愿再给你添麻烦,不过我忽然想起,去医生家要路过律师家门口。那样就省了我的事了,因为有的时候 ——也许我应该说,就在这一刻——你必须面对不愉快的事情。不管那要消耗你多大的体力。”

‘A lawyer! O, he must be really bad!’ the affrighted Rat said to himself, as he hurried from the room, not forgetting, however, to lock the door carefully behind him.

“请律师!哎呀,想必他真的病得厉害了!”惊慌失措的河鼠自言自语说。他匆匆走出卧室,倒还没忘把门仔细锁好。

Outside, he stopped to consider. The other two were far away, and he had no one to consult.

来到屋外,他停下来想了想、那两位都远在别处,他找不到一个可以商量的人。

‘It’s best to be on the safe side,’ he said, on reflection. ‘I’ve known Toad fancy himself frightfully bad before, without the slightest reason; but I’ve never heard him ask for a lawyer! If there’s nothing really the matter, the doctor will tell him he’s an old ass, and cheer him up; and that will be something gained. I’d better humour him and go; it won’t take very long.’ So he ran off to the village on his errand of mercy.

“还是小心些好,”他考虑了片刻,说道。“蟾蜍过去虽也无缘无故把自己的病想得太重,可还从没听他说要请律师呀!要是真没大病,医生会骂他是个大笨蛋,会给他打气,那倒也是一得吧。我不妨迁就一下他的怪脾气,跑一趟,用不了多久的。”于是他带着行善的使命,向村子跑去。

The Toad, who had hopped lightly out of bed as soon as he heard the key turned in the lock, watched him eagerly from the window till he disappeared down the carriage-drive. Then, laughing heartily, he dressed as quickly as possible in the smartest suit he could lay hands on at the moment, filled his pockets with cash which he took from a small drawer in the dressing-table, and next, knotting the sheets from his bed together and tying one end of the improvised rope round the central mullion of the handsome Tudor window which formed such a feature of his bedroom, he scrambled out, slid lightly to the ground, and, taking the opposite direction to the Rat, marched off lightheartedly, whistling a merry tune.

一听到钥匙在锁眼里转动的声音,蟾蜍立刻轻轻跳下床,跑到窗口,急切地望着河鼠,直到车道上不见了他的踪影。接着,他开心地放声大笑,火速穿上随手抓到的最神气的衣裳,从梳妆台的一只小抽屉里取出钱,塞满了所有的衣袋。下一步,他把床单全都结在一起,又把这根临时结成的绳子一端牢系在窗框上。那美丽的都铎王朝式的窗子,是他的卧室的一景。他爬出窗口,顺着绳子轻轻滑落地上,朝着和河鼠相反的方向,吹着欢快的口哨,轻松地迈开大步,扬长而去。

It was a gloomy luncheon for Rat when the Badger and the Mole at length returned, and he had to face them at table with his pitiful and unconvincing story. The Badger’s caustic, not to say brutal, remarks may be imagined, and therefore passed over; but it was painful to the Rat that even the Mole, though he took his friend’s side as far as possible, could not help saying, ‘You’ve been a bit of a duffer this time, Ratty! Toad, too, of all animals!’

那顿午饭,河鼠吃得没精打采。獾和鼹鼠回来后,河鼠不得不在餐桌上对他们讲述他那段难以置信的倒霉经历。獾的那种刻薄甚至粗暴的批评,可想而知,自不待言,就连竭力要站在朋友一边的鼹鼠,也不得不表示:“鼠儿,这回你可是有点糊涂!蟾蜍当然更是糊涂绝顶了!”这话深深刺痛了河鼠。

‘He did it awfully well,’ said the crestfallen Rat.

“他装得太到家了!”垂头丧气的河鼠说。

‘He did YOU awfully well!’ rejoined the Badger hotly. ‘However, talking won’t mend matters. He’s got clear away for the time, that’s certain; and the worst of it is, he’ll be so conceited with what he’ll think is his cleverness that he may commit any folly. One comfort is, we’re free now, and needn’t waste any more of our precious time doing sentry-go. But we’d better continue to sleep at Toad Hall for a while longer. Toad may be brought back at any moment—on a stretcher, or between two policemen.’

“他把你蒙骗到家了!”獾怒冲冲地说。“不过,光说也于事无补。他暂时肯定已经跑得很远了。最糟的是,他自作聪明,自以为了不起,什么荒唐事都干得出来。唯一可以告慰的是,我们现在自由了,不必再浪费时间为他放哨了。不过咱们最好还是在蟾宫多住些日子。蟾蜍随时都可能回来的——不是用担架抬回来,就是被警察押送回来。”

So spoke the Badger, not knowing what the future held in store, or how much water, and of how turbid a character, was to run under bridges before Toad should sit at ease again in his ancestral Hall.

话虽是这么说,獾并不能预卜未来的吉凶祸福,也不知道要过多久,经历多少风险磨难,蟾蜍才能回到他祖传的家宅。

Meanwhile, Toad, gay and irresponsible, was walking briskly along the high road, some miles from home. At first he had taken by-paths, and crossed many fields, and changed his course several times, in case of pursuit; but now, feeling by this time safe from recapture, and the sun smiling brightly on him, and all Nature joining in a chorus of approval to the song of self-praise that his own heart was singing to him, he almost danced along the road in his satisfaction and conceit.

这时,那个美滋滋的不负责任的蟾蜍,正在公路上轻快地走着,离家已经有好几哩了。起初,他专拣小道走,穿过一块块田地,为了躲避追踪,换了好几次路线;现在,他觉得已经摆脱了被抓回去的危险,而太阳正快活地冲他微笑,整个大自然都齐声合唱一首颂歌,赞美他心里唱出的那首自我表扬的歌。他心满意足,自鸣得意,一路上几乎都在跳舞。

‘Smart piece of work that!’ he remarked to himself chuckling. ‘Brain against brute force—and brain came out on the top—as it’s bound to do. Poor old Ratty! My! won’t he catch it when the Badger gets back! A worthy fellow, Ratty, with many good qualities, but very little intelligence and absolutely no education. I must take him in hand some day, and see if I can make something of him.’

“干得真漂亮!”他格格笑着对自己说。“以智力反抗暴力,智力终究占了上风——这是必然的。可怜的老耗子!啊呀,獾回来时,他还不得挨一顿好骂!耗子呀,人倒是个好人,优点不少,可就是缺少智慧,根本没受过教育。将来有一天,我要亲自培养他,看能不能把他调教出个模样来。”

Filled full of conceited thoughts such as these he strode along, his head in the air, till he reached a little town, where the sign of ‘The Red Lion,’ swinging across the road halfway down the main street, reminded him that he had not breakfasted that day, and that he was exceedingly hungry after his long walk. He marched into the Inn, ordered the best luncheon that could be provided at so short a notice, and sat down to eat it in the coffee-room.

他满脑子自高自大的念头,昂首阔步往前走,径直来到一座小镇。在正街的中央,横悬着一幅招牌——“红狮”,这使他想起,当天还没顾上吃早饭,走了这么远的路,肚子着实饿瘪了。他大步走进小客店,要了那家招牌短短的小店所供应的一客最好的午饭,坐在咖啡室里,吃起来。

He was about half-way through his meal when an only too familiar sound, approaching down the street, made him start and fall a-trembling all over. The poop-poop! drew nearer and nearer, the car could be heard to turn into the inn-yard and come to a stop, and Toad had to hold on to the leg of the table to conceal his over-mastering emotion. Presently the party entered the coffee-room, hungry, talkative, and gay, voluble on their experiences of the morning and the merits of the chariot that had brought them along so well. Toad listened eagerly, all ears, for a time; at last he could stand it no longer. He slipped out of the room quietly, paid his bill at the bar, and as soon as he got outside sauntered round quietly to the inn-yard. ‘There cannot be any harm,’ he said to himself, ‘in my only just LOOKING at it!’

刚吃到一半。就听到一个非常熟悉的声音,由远而近,从街上传来,他不由得浑身一震,打起哆咦来。那噗噗声!听得出。那辆汽车越来越近,开进了客店的院子,停了下来。蟾蜍紧紧抓住桌腿,来掩盖他难以控制的激动。随后,车上那伙人就走进了咖啡室。他们饿了,有说有笑,大谈那天上午的经历,和他们乘坐的那辆汽车的优良性能。蟾蜍如饥似渴、全神贯注地倾听了一会,终于按捺不住了。他轻轻溜出咖啡室,在柜台付了帐,一出屋,就悄悄转游到院子里。“只瞅一眼,”他对自己说,“谅无妨碍吧!”

The car stood in the middle of the yard, quite unattended, the stable-helps and other hangers-on being all at their dinner. Toad walked slowly round it, inspecting, criticising, musing deeply.

汽车就停在院子当中,没人看管,因为马厩工人和其他随从都进屋吃饭去了。蟾蜍慢悠悠地围着它转,仔细打量着,评点着,苦苦思索着。

‘I wonder,’ he said to himself presently, ‘I wonder if this sort of car STARTS easily?’

“不知道,”他忽然问自己,“不知道这种车好不好发动?”

Next moment, hardly knowing how it came about, he found he had hold of the handle and was turning it. As the familiar sound broke forth, the old passion seized on Toad and completely mastered him, body and soul. As if in a dream he found himself, somehow, seated in the driver’s seat; as if in a dream, he pulled the lever and swung the car round the yard and out through the archway; and, as if in a dream, all sense of right and wrong, all fear of obvious consequences, seemed temporarily suspended. He increased his pace, and as the car devoured the street and leapt forth on the high road through the open country, he was only conscious that he was Toad once more, Toad at his best and highest, Toad the terror, the traffic-queller, the Lord of the lone trail, before whom all must give way or be smitten into nothingness and everlasting night. He chanted as he flew, and the car responded with sonorous drone; the miles were eaten up under him as he sped he knew not whither, fulfilling his instincts, living his hour, reckless of what might come to him.

只一眨眼工夫,不知怎的,他已经握住了把手,转了一下。一听到那熟悉的声音,他过去的热狂又袭来,攫住了他的全部身心。像做梦一般,他不知怎的就坐到了司机座上;像做梦一般,他拉动了档杆,开车在院里兜了一圈,然后驶出了拱门。像做梦一般,什么是非曲直,什么顾虑担忧,一股脑都抛到九霄云外。他加大了车速,汽车冲过街道,跃上公路,越过旷野。这时,他忘掉了一切,只知道他又成了蟾蜍,无比高明强大的蟾蜍,煞星蟾蜍,大道上的征服者,小路上的霸王;在他面前,人人都得让路,否则便被碾得粉碎,永不见天日。他一面驱车飞驰,一面引吭高歌,那车也和着他的歌声,隆隆低吟。一里又一里,被他的车轮碾过,他不知道究竟驶向哪里,只是为了充分满足他的天性,尽情享受眼前的快乐,至于下一步会遇到什么,一概不闻不问。

‘To my mind,’ observed the Chairman of the Bench of Magistrates cheerfully, ‘the ONLY difficulty that presents itself in this otherwise very clear case is, how we can possibly make it sufficiently hot for the incorrigible rogue and hardened ruffian whom we see cowering in the dock before us. Let me see: he has been found guilty, on the clearest evidence, first, of stealing a valuable motor-car; secondly, of driving to the public danger; and, thirdly, of gross impertinence to the rural police. Mr. Clerk, will you tell us, please, what is the very stiffest penalty we can impose for each of these offences? Without, of course, giving the prisoner the benefit of any doubt, because there isn’t any.’

“依我看,”首席法官兴致勃勃地说,“这件案子案情是够清楚的,唯一的困难是,对于我们面前这个错缩在被告席上的无可救药的流氓,这个不知悔改的恶棍,怎样才能给他点厉害尝尝。让我想想——他有罪,证据确凿无疑:第一,他偷了一辆昂贵的汽车;第二,他胡乱驾驶,危害公众;第三,他对警察蛮横无礼。录事先生,请告诉我们,这三条中的每一条罪行,我们能判给的。最严厉的惩罚是什么?当然,不能给犯人任何假定无罪的机会,因为根本不存在这种机会。”

The Clerk scratched his nose with his pen. ‘Some people would consider,’ he observed, ‘that stealing the motor-car was the worst offence; and so it is. But cheeking the police undoubtedly carries the severest penalty; and so it ought. Supposing you were to say twelve months for the theft, which is mild; and three years for the furious driving, which is lenient; and fifteen years for the cheek, which was pretty bad sort of cheek, judging by what we’ve heard from the witness-box, even if you only believe one-tenth part of what you heard, and I never believe more myself—those figures, if added together correctly, tot up to nineteen years----‘

录事用钢笔刮了刮鼻子,说:“有人认为,偷汽车是最大的罪行,确实如此。不过,冒犯警察,无疑应受到最严厉的惩罚,确实应该。如果说,盗车罪应处十二个月监禁——那是很轻的;疯狂驾驶应处以三年监禁——那也是宽大的;冒犯警察则应处十五年监禁——根据证人的证词(哪怕你只相信这些证词的十分之一,我自己从不相信多于十分之一的证词),他的冒犯行为是十分恶劣的。三项加在一起,总共是十九年——”

‘First-rate!’ said the Chairman.

“好极了!”首席法官说。

‘So you had better make it a round twenty years and be on the safe side,’ concluded the Clerk.

“——您不如干脆凑它一个整数:二十年,这样更保险。”录事加上一句。

‘An excellent suggestion!’ said the Chairman approvingly. ‘Prisoner! Pull yourself together and try and stand up straight. It’s going to be twenty years for you this time. And mind, if you appear before us again, upon any charge whatever, we shall have to deal with you very seriously!’

“这个建议太好了!”首席法官赞许说。“犯人!起来,站直了。这次判你二十年监禁。注意,下次再看到你在这里,不管犯什么罪,一定要重重惩罚你!”

Then the brutal minions of the law fell upon the hapless Toad; loaded him with chains, and dragged him from the Court House, shrieking, praying, protesting; across the marketplace, where the playful populace, always as severe upon detected crime as they are sympathetic and helpful when one is merely ‘wanted,’ assailed him with jeers, carrots, and popular catch-words; past hooting school children, their innocent faces lit up with the pleasure they ever derive from the sight of a gentleman in difficulties; across the hollow-sounding drawbridge, below the spiky portcullis, under the frowning archway of the grim old castle, whose ancient towers soared high overhead; past guardrooms full of grinning soldiery off duty, past sentries who coughed in a horrid, sarcastic way, because that is as much as a sentry on his post dare do to show his contempt and abhorrence of crime; up time-worn winding stairs, past men-at-arms in casquet and corselet of steel, darting threatening looks through their vizards; across courtyards, where mastiffs strained at their leash and pawed the air to get at him; past ancient warders, their halberds leant against the wall, dozing over a pasty and a flagon of brown ale; on and on, past the rack-chamber and the thumbscrew-room, past the turning that led to the private scaffold, till they reached the door of the grimmest dungeon that lay in the heart of the innermost keep. There at last they paused, where an ancient gaoler sat fingering a bunch of mighty keys.

随后,粗暴的狱吏们扑向倒霉的蟾蜍,给他戴上镣铐,拖出法庭。他一路尖叫,祈求,抗议。他被拖着经过市场。市场上那些游手好闲的公众,对通缉犯向来都表同情和提供援助,而对已确认的罪犯则向来是疾言厉色。他们纷纷向他投来嘲骂,扔胡萝卜,喊口号。他被拖着经过起哄的学童,他们每看到一位绅士陷入困境,天真的小脸上就露出喜滋滋的神色。他被拖着走过轧轧作响的吊桥,穿过布满铁钉的铁闸门,钻过狰狞的古堡里阴森可怖的拱道,古堡上的塔楼高耸入云;穿过挤满了下班士兵的警卫室,他们冲他咧嘴狞笑;经过发出嘲弄的咳嗽的哨兵,因为当班的哨兵只许这样来表示他们对罪犯的轻蔑和嫌恶;走上一段转弯抹角的古老石级,经过身着钢盔铁甲的武士,他们从盔里射出恐吓的目光;穿过院子,院里凶恶的猛犬把皮带绷得紧紧的,爪子向空中乱抓,要向他扑过来;经过年老的狱卒,他们把兵器斜靠在墙上,对着一个肉馅饼和一罐棕色的麦酒打瞌睡;走呀走呀,走过拉肢拷问室,夹指室,走过通向秘密断头台的拐角,一直走到监狱最深处那间最阴森的地牢门前。门口坐着一个年老的狱卒,手里摆弄着一串又重又大的钥匙。就在这里,他们停了下来。

‘Oddsbodikins!’ said the sergeant of police, taking off his helmet and wiping his forehead. ‘Rouse thee, old loon, and take over from us this vile Toad, a criminal of deepest guilt and matchless artfulness and resource. Watch and ward him with all thy skill; and mark thee well, greybeard, should aught untoward befall, thy old head shall answer for his—and a murrain on both of them!’

“喂,好家伙!”警官说。他摘下钢盔,擦了擦额头的汗。“醒醒,老懒虫,把这个坏蛋蟾蜍看管起来。他是个罪行累累、狡诈奸滑、诡计多端的罪犯。灰胡子老头,你要竭尽全力把他看好,如有闪失,就要你这颗老人头——你和他都要遭殃!”

The gaoler nodded grimly, laying his withered hand on the shoulder of the miserable Toad. The rusty key creaked in the lock, the great door clanged behind them; and Toad was a helpless prisoner in the remotest dungeon of the best-guarded keep of the stoutest castle in all the length and breadth of Merry England.

狱卒阴沉地点点头,把他枯干的手按在不幸的蟾蜍肩上。生了锈的钥匙在锁眼里轧轧转动,笨重的牢门在他们身后恍当一声关上了。就这样,蟾蜍成了整个欢乐的英格兰国土上最坚固的城堡里最戒备森严、最隐密的地牢里一个可怜无助的囚犯。


It was a bright morning in the early part of summer; the river had resumed its wonted banks and its accustomed pace, and a hot sun seemed to be pulling everything green and bushy and spiky up out of the earth towards him, as if by strings. The Mole and the Water Rat had been up since dawn, very busy on matters connected with boats and the opening of the boating season; painting and varnishing, mending paddles, repairing cushions, hunting for missing boat-hooks, and so on; and were finishing breakfast in their little parlour and eagerly discussing their plans for the day, when a heavy knock sounded at the door.

‘Bother!’ said the Rat, all over egg. ‘See who it is, Mole, like a good chap, since you’ve finished.’

The Mole went to attend the summons, and the Rat heard him utter a cry of surprise. Then he flung the parlour door open, and announced with much importance, ‘Mr. Badger!’

This was a wonderful thing, indeed, that the Badger should pay a formal call on them, or indeed on anybody. He generally had to be caught, if you wanted him badly, as he slipped quietly along a hedgerow of an early morning or a late evening, or else hunted up in his own house in the middle of the Wood, which was a serious undertaking.

The Badger strode heavily into the room, and stood looking at the two animals with an expression full of seriousness. The Rat let his egg-spoon fall on the table-cloth, and sat open-mouthed.

‘The hour has come!’ said the Badger at last with great solemnity.

‘What hour?’ asked the Rat uneasily, glancing at the clock on the mantelpiece.

‘WHOSE hour, you should rather say,’ replied the Badger. ‘Why, Toad’s hour! The hour of Toad! I said I would take him in hand as soon as the winter was well over, and I’m going to take him in hand to-day!’

‘Toad’s hour, of course!’ cried the Mole delightedly. ‘Hooray! I remember now! WE’LL teach him to be a sensible Toad!’

‘This very morning,’ continued the Badger, taking an arm-chair, ‘as I learnt last night from a trustworthy source, another new and exceptionally powerful motor-car will arrive at Toad Hall on approval or return. At this very moment, perhaps, Toad is busy arraying himself in those singularly hideous habiliments so dear to him, which transform him from a (comparatively) good-looking Toad into an Object which throws any decent-minded animal that comes across it into a violent fit. We must be up and doing, ere it is too late. You two animals will accompany me instantly to Toad Hall, and the work of rescue shall be accomplished.’

‘Right you are!’ cried the Rat, starting up. ‘We’ll rescue the poor unhappy animal! We’ll convert him! He’ll be the most converted Toad that ever was before we’ve done with him!’

They set off up the road on their mission of mercy, Badger leading the way. Animals when in company walk in a proper and sensible manner, in single file, instead of sprawling all across the road and being of no use or support to each other in case of sudden trouble or danger.

They reached the carriage-drive of Toad Hall to find, as the Badger had anticipated, a shiny new motor-car, of great size, painted a bright red (Toad’s favourite colour), standing in front of the house. As they neared the door it was flung open, and Mr. Toad, arrayed in goggles, cap, gaiters, and enormous overcoat, came swaggering down the steps, drawing on his gauntleted gloves.

‘Hullo! come on, you fellows!’ he cried cheerfully on catching sight of them. ‘You’re just in time to come with me for a jolly—to come for a jolly—for a—er—jolly----‘

His hearty accents faltered and fell away as he noticed the stern unbending look on the countenances of his silent friends, and his invitation remained unfinished.

The Badger strode up the steps. ‘Take him inside,’ he said sternly to his companions. Then, as Toad was hustled through the door, struggling and protesting, he turned to the chauffeur in charge of the new motor-car.

‘I’m afraid you won’t be wanted to-day,’ he said. ‘Mr. Toad has changed his mind. He will not require the car. Please understand that this is final. You needn’t wait.’ Then he followed the others inside and shut the door.

‘Now then!’ he said to the Toad, when the four of them stood together in the Hall, ‘first of all, take those ridiculous things off!’

‘Shan’t!’ replied Toad, with great spirit. ‘What is the meaning of this gross outrage? I demand an instant explanation.’

‘Take them off him, then, you two,’ ordered the Badger briefly.

They had to lay Toad out on the floor, kicking and calling all sorts of names, before they could get to work properly. Then the Rat sat on him, and the Mole got his motor-clothes off him bit by bit, and they stood him up on his legs again. A good deal of his blustering spirit seemed to have evaporated with the removal of his fine panoply. Now that he was merely Toad, and no longer the Terror of the Highway, he giggled feebly and looked from one to the other appealingly, seeming quite to understand the situation.

‘You knew it must come to this, sooner or later, Toad,’ the Badger explained severely.You’ve disregarded all the warnings we’ve given you, you’ve gone on squandering the money your father left you, and you’re getting us animals a bad name in the district by your furious driving and your smashes and your rows with the police. Independence is all very well, but we animals never allow our friends to make fools of themselves beyond a certain limit; and that limit you’ve reached. Now, you’re a good fellow in many respects, and I don’t want to be too hard on you. I’ll make one more effort to bring you to reason. You will come with me into the smoking-room, and there you will hear some facts about yourself; and we’ll see whether you come out of that room the same Toad that you went in.’

He took Toad firmly by the arm, led him into the smoking-room, and closed the door behind them.

‘THAT’S no good!’ said the Rat contemptuously. ‘TALKING to Toad’ll never cure him. He’ll SAY anything.’

They made themselves comfortable in armchairs and waited patiently. Through the closed door they could just hear the long continuous drone of the Badger’s voice, rising and falling in waves of oratory; and presently they noticed that the sermon began to be punctuated at intervals by long-drawn sobs, evidently proceeding from the bosom of Toad, who was a soft-hearted and affectionate fellow, very easily converted—for the time being—to any point of view.

After some three-quarters of an hour the door opened, and the Badger reappeared, solemnly leading by the paw a very limp and dejected Toad. His skin hung baggily about him, his legs wobbled, and his cheeks were furrowed by the tears so plentifully called forth by the Badger’s moving discourse.

‘Sit down there, Toad,’ said the Badger kindly, pointing to a chair. ‘My friends,’ he went on, ‘I am pleased to inform you that Toad has at last seen the error of his ways. He is truly sorry for his misguided conduct in the past, and he has undertaken to give up motor-cars entirely and for ever. I have his solemn promise to that effect.’

‘That is very good news,’ said the Mole gravely.

‘Very good news indeed,’ observed the Rat dubiously, ‘if only—IF only----‘

He was looking very hard at Toad as he said this, and could not help thinking he perceived something vaguely resembling a twinkle in that animal’s still sorrowful eye.

‘There’s only one thing more to be done,’ continued the gratified Badger. ‘Toad, I want you solemnly to repeat, before your friends here, what you fully admitted to me in the smoking-room just now. First, you are sorry for what you’ve done, and you see the folly of it all?’

There was a long, long pause. Toad looked desperately this way and that, while the other animals waited in grave silence. At last he spoke.

‘No!’ he said, a little sullenly, but stoutly; ‘I’m NOT sorry. And it wasn’t folly at all! It was simply glorious!’

‘What?’ cried the Badger, greatly scandalised. ‘You backsliding animal, didn’t you tell me just now, in there----‘

‘Oh, yes, yes, in THERE,’ said Toad impatiently. ‘I’d have said anything in THERE. You’re so eloquent, dear Badger, and so moving, and so convincing, and put all your points so frightfully well—you can do what you like with me in THERE, and you know it. But I’ve been searching my mind since, and going over things in it, and I find that I’m not a bit sorry or repentant really, so it’s no earthly good saying I am; now, is it?’

‘Then you don’t promise,’ said the Badger, ‘never to touch a motor-car again?’

‘Certainly not!’ replied Toad emphatically. ‘On the contrary, I faithfully promise that the very first motor-car I see, poop-poop! off I go in it!’

‘Told you so, didn’t I?’ observed the Rat to the Mole.

‘Very well, then,’ said the Badger firmly, rising to his feet. ‘Since you won’t yield to persuasion, we’ll try what force can do. I feared it would come to this all along. You’ve often asked us three to come and stay with you, Toad, in this handsome house of yours; well, now we’re going to. When we’ve converted you to a proper point of view we may quit, but not before. Take him upstairs, you two, and lock him up in his bedroom, while we arrange matters between ourselves.’

‘It’s for your own good, Toady, you know,’ said the Rat kindly, as Toad, kicking and struggling, was hauled up the stairs by his two faithful friends. ‘Think what fun we shall all have together, just as we used to, when you’ve quite got over this—this painful attack of yours!’

‘We’ll take great care of everything for you till you’re well, Toad,’ said the Mole; ‘and we’ll see your money isn’t wasted, as it has been.’

‘No more of those regrettable incidents with the police, Toad,’ said the Rat, as they thrust him into his bedroom.

‘And no more weeks in hospital, being ordered about by female nurses, Toad,’ added the Mole, turning the key on him.

They descended the stair, Toad shouting abuse at them through the keyhole; and the three friends then met in conference on the situation.

‘It’s going to be a tedious business,’ said the Badger, sighing. ‘I’ve never seen Toad so determined. However, we will see it out. He must never be left an instant unguarded. We shall have to take it in turns to be with him, till the poison has worked itself out of his system.’

They arranged watches accordingly. Each animal took it in turns to sleep in Toad’s room at night, and they divided the day up between them. At first Toad was undoubtedly very trying to his careful guardians. When his violent paroxysms possessed him he would arrange bedroom chairs in rude resemblance of a motor-car and would crouch on the foremost of them, bent forward and staring fixedly ahead, making uncouth and ghastly noises, till the climax was reached, when, turning a complete somersault, he would lie prostrate amidst the ruins of the chairs, apparently completely satisfied for the moment. As time passed, however, these painful seizures grew gradually less frequent, and his friends strove to divert his mind into fresh channels. But his interest in other matters did not seem to revive, and he grew apparently languid and depressed.

One fine morning the Rat, whose turn it was to go on duty, went upstairs to relieve Badger, whom he found fidgeting to be off and stretch his legs in a long ramble round his wood and down his earths and burrows. ‘Toad’s still in bed,’ he told the Rat, outside the door. ‘Can’t get much out of him, except, “O leave him alone, he wants nothing, perhaps he’ll be better presently, it may pass off in time, don’t be unduly anxious,” and so on. Now, you look out, Rat! When Toad’s quiet and submissive and playing at being the hero of a Sunday-school prize, then he’s at his artfullest. There’s sure to be something up. I know him. Well, now, I must be off.’

‘How are you to-day, old chap?’ inquired the Rat cheerfully, as he approached Toad’s bedside.

He had to wait some minutes for an answer. At last a feeble voice replied, ‘Thank you so much, dear Ratty! So good of you to inquire! But first tell me how you are yourself, and the excellent Mole?’

‘O, WE’RE all right,’ replied the Rat. ‘Mole,’ he added incautiously, ‘is going out for a run round with Badger. They’ll be out till luncheon time, so you and I will spend a pleasant morning together, and I’ll do my best to amuse you. Now jump up, there’s a good fellow, and don’t lie moping there on a fine morning like this!’

‘Dear, kind Rat,’ murmured Toad, ‘how little you realise my condition, and how very far I am from “jumping up” now—if ever! But do not trouble about me. I hate being a burden to my friends, and I do not expect to be one much longer. Indeed, I almost hope not.’

‘Well, I hope not, too,’ said the Rat heartily. ‘You’ve been a fine bother to us all this time, and I’m glad to hear it’s going to stop. And in weather like this, and the boating season just beginning! It’s too bad of you, Toad! It isn’t the trouble we mind, but you’re making us miss such an awful lot.’

‘I’m afraid it IS the trouble you mind, though,’ replied the Toad languidly. ‘I can quite understand it. It’s natural enough. You’re tired of bothering about me. I mustn’t ask you to do anything further. I’m a nuisance, I know.’

‘You are, indeed,’ said the Rat. ‘But I tell you, I’d take any trouble on earth for you, if only you’d be a sensible animal.’

‘If I thought that, Ratty,’ murmured Toad, more feebly than ever, ‘then I would beg you—for the last time, probably—to step round to the village as quickly as possible—even now it may be too late—and fetch the doctor. But don’t you bother. It’s only a trouble, and perhaps we may as well let things take their course.’

‘Why, what do you want a doctor for?’ inquired the Rat, coming closer and examining him. He certainly lay very still and flat, and his voice was weaker and his manner much changed.

‘Surely you have noticed of late----‘ murmured Toad. ‘But, no—why should you? Noticing things is only a trouble. To-morrow, indeed, you may be saying to yourself, “O, if only I had noticed sooner! If only I had done something!” But no; it’s a trouble. Never mind— forget that I asked.’

‘Look here, old man,’ said the Rat, beginning to get rather alarmed, ‘of course I’ll fetch a doctor to you, if you really think you want him. But you can hardly be bad enough for that yet. Let’s talk about something else.’

‘I fear, dear friend,’ said Toad, with a sad smile, ‘that “talk” can do little in a case like this—or doctors either, for that matter; still, one must grasp at the slightest straw. And, by the way—while you are about it—I HATE to give you additional trouble, but I happen to remember that you will pass the door—would you mind at the same time asking the lawyer to step up? It would be a convenience to me, and there are moments—perhaps I should say there is A moment—when one must face disagreeable tasks, at whatever cost to exhausted nature!’

‘A lawyer! O, he must be really bad!’ the affrighted Rat said to himself, as he hurried from the room, not forgetting, however, to lock the door carefully behind him.

Outside, he stopped to consider. The other two were far away, and he had no one to consult.

‘It’s best to be on the safe side,’ he said, on reflection. ‘I’ve known Toad fancy himself frightfully bad before, without the slightest reason; but I’ve never heard him ask for a lawyer! If there’s nothing really the matter, the doctor will tell him he’s an old ass, and cheer him up; and that will be something gained. I’d better humour him and go; it won’t take very long.’ So he ran off to the village on his errand of mercy.

The Toad, who had hopped lightly out of bed as soon as he heard the key turned in the lock, watched him eagerly from the window till he disappeared down the carriage-drive. Then, laughing heartily, he dressed as quickly as possible in the smartest suit he could lay hands on at the moment, filled his pockets with cash which he took from a small drawer in the dressing-table, and next, knotting the sheets from his bed together and tying one end of the improvised rope round the central mullion of the handsome Tudor window which formed such a feature of his bedroom, he scrambled out, slid lightly to the ground, and, taking the opposite direction to the Rat, marched off lightheartedly, whistling a merry tune.

It was a gloomy luncheon for Rat when the Badger and the Mole at length returned, and he had to face them at table with his pitiful and unconvincing story. The Badger’s caustic, not to say brutal, remarks may be imagined, and therefore passed over; but it was painful to the Rat that even the Mole, though he took his friend’s side as far as possible, could not help saying, ‘You’ve been a bit of a duffer this time, Ratty! Toad, too, of all animals!’

‘He did it awfully well,’ said the crestfallen Rat.

‘He did YOU awfully well!’ rejoined the Badger hotly. ‘However, talking won’t mend matters. He’s got clear away for the time, that’s certain; and the worst of it is, he’ll be so conceited with what he’ll think is his cleverness that he may commit any folly. One comfort is, we’re free now, and needn’t waste any more of our precious time doing sentry-go. But we’d better continue to sleep at Toad Hall for a while longer. Toad may be brought back at any moment—on a stretcher, or between two policemen.’

So spoke the Badger, not knowing what the future held in store, or how much water, and of how turbid a character, was to run under bridges before Toad should sit at ease again in his ancestral Hall.

Meanwhile, Toad, gay and irresponsible, was walking briskly along the high road, some miles from home. At first he had taken by-paths, and crossed many fields, and changed his course several times, in case of pursuit; but now, feeling by this time safe from recapture, and the sun smiling brightly on him, and all Nature joining in a chorus of approval to the song of self-praise that his own heart was singing to him, he almost danced along the road in his satisfaction and conceit.

‘Smart piece of work that!’ he remarked to himself chuckling. ‘Brain against brute force—and brain came out on the top—as it’s bound to do. Poor old Ratty! My! won’t he catch it when the Badger gets back! A worthy fellow, Ratty, with many good qualities, but very little intelligence and absolutely no education. I must take him in hand some day, and see if I can make something of him.’

Filled full of conceited thoughts such as these he strode along, his head in the air, till he reached a little town, where the sign of ‘The Red Lion,’ swinging across the road halfway down the main street, reminded him that he had not breakfasted that day, and that he was exceedingly hungry after his long walk. He marched into the Inn, ordered the best luncheon that could be provided at so short a notice, and sat down to eat it in the coffee-room.

He was about half-way through his meal when an only too familiar sound, approaching down the street, made him start and fall a-trembling all over. The poop-poop! drew nearer and nearer, the car could be heard to turn into the inn-yard and come to a stop, and Toad had to hold on to the leg of the table to conceal his over-mastering emotion. Presently the party entered the coffee-room, hungry, talkative, and gay, voluble on their experiences of the morning and the merits of the chariot that had brought them along so well. Toad listened eagerly, all ears, for a time; at last he could stand it no longer. He slipped out of the room quietly, paid his bill at the bar, and as soon as he got outside sauntered round quietly to the inn-yard. ‘There cannot be any harm,’ he said to himself, ‘in my only just LOOKING at it!’

The car stood in the middle of the yard, quite unattended, the stable-helps and other hangers-on being all at their dinner. Toad walked slowly round it, inspecting, criticising, musing deeply.

‘I wonder,’ he said to himself presently, ‘I wonder if this sort of car STARTS easily?’

Next moment, hardly knowing how it came about, he found he had hold of the handle and was turning it. As the familiar sound broke forth, the old passion seized on Toad and completely mastered him, body and soul. As if in a dream he found himself, somehow, seated in the driver’s seat; as if in a dream, he pulled the lever and swung the car round the yard and out through the archway; and, as if in a dream, all sense of right and wrong, all fear of obvious consequences, seemed temporarily suspended. He increased his pace, and as the car devoured the street and leapt forth on the high road through the open country, he was only conscious that he was Toad once more, Toad at his best and highest, Toad the terror, the traffic-queller, the Lord of the lone trail, before whom all must give way or be smitten into nothingness and everlasting night. He chanted as he flew, and the car responded with sonorous drone; the miles were eaten up under him as he sped he knew not whither, fulfilling his instincts, living his hour, reckless of what might come to him.

‘To my mind,’ observed the Chairman of the Bench of Magistrates cheerfully, ‘the ONLY difficulty that presents itself in this otherwise very clear case is, how we can possibly make it sufficiently hot for the incorrigible rogue and hardened ruffian whom we see cowering in the dock before us. Let me see: he has been found guilty, on the clearest evidence, first, of stealing a valuable motor-car; secondly, of driving to the public danger; and, thirdly, of gross impertinence to the rural police. Mr. Clerk, will you tell us, please, what is the very stiffest penalty we can impose for each of these offences? Without, of course, giving the prisoner the benefit of any doubt, because there isn’t any.’

The Clerk scratched his nose with his pen. ‘Some people would consider,’ he observed, ‘that stealing the motor-car was the worst offence; and so it is. But cheeking the police undoubtedly carries the severest penalty; and so it ought. Supposing you were to say twelve months for the theft, which is mild; and three years for the furious driving, which is lenient; and fifteen years for the cheek, which was pretty bad sort of cheek, judging by what we’ve heard from the witness-box, even if you only believe one-tenth part of what you heard, and I never believe more myself—those figures, if added together correctly, tot up to nineteen years----‘

‘First-rate!’ said the Chairman.

‘So you had better make it a round twenty years and be on the safe side,’ concluded the Clerk.

‘An excellent suggestion!’ said the Chairman approvingly. ‘Prisoner! Pull yourself together and try and stand up straight. It’s going to be twenty years for you this time. And mind, if you appear before us again, upon any charge whatever, we shall have to deal with you very seriously!’

Then the brutal minions of the law fell upon the hapless Toad; loaded him with chains, and dragged him from the Court House, shrieking, praying, protesting; across the marketplace, where the playful populace, always as severe upon detected crime as they are sympathetic and helpful when one is merely ‘wanted,’ assailed him with jeers, carrots, and popular catch-words; past hooting school children, their innocent faces lit up with the pleasure they ever derive from the sight of a gentleman in difficulties; across the hollow-sounding drawbridge, below the spiky portcullis, under the frowning archway of the grim old castle, whose ancient towers soared high overhead; past guardrooms full of grinning soldiery off duty, past sentries who coughed in a horrid, sarcastic way, because that is as much as a sentry on his post dare do to show his contempt and abhorrence of crime; up time-worn winding stairs, past men-at-arms in casquet and corselet of steel, darting threatening looks through their vizards; across courtyards, where mastiffs strained at their leash and pawed the air to get at him; past ancient warders, their halberds leant against the wall, dozing over a pasty and a flagon of brown ale; on and on, past the rack-chamber and the thumbscrew-room, past the turning that led to the private scaffold, till they reached the door of the grimmest dungeon that lay in the heart of the innermost keep. There at last they paused, where an ancient gaoler sat fingering a bunch of mighty keys.

‘Oddsbodikins!’ said the sergeant of police, taking off his helmet and wiping his forehead. ‘Rouse thee, old loon, and take over from us this vile Toad, a criminal of deepest guilt and matchless artfulness and resource. Watch and ward him with all thy skill; and mark thee well, greybeard, should aught untoward befall, thy old head shall answer for his—and a murrain on both of them!’

The gaoler nodded grimly, laying his withered hand on the shoulder of the miserable Toad. The rusty key creaked in the lock, the great door clanged behind them; and Toad was a helpless prisoner in the remotest dungeon of the best-guarded keep of the stoutest castle in all the length and breadth of Merry England.


这是初夏的一个阳光灿烂的早晨。大河两岸已经重现原貌,河水恢复了通常的流速,暖烘烘的太阳,仿佛用无数根细绳,把万物从地下拔起,拽向他自己,使它们变得绿油油、郁葱葱、高 耸耸。鼹鼠和河鼠天一亮就起床,忙着为即将开始的游艇季节作准备,油漆船身啦,整理桨叶啦,修补坐垫啦,寻找丢失的带钩子的船篙啦,等等。他们正在客厅里吃早饭,热烈地讨论当天的计划,忽听得一声重重的敲门声。

“麻烦!”河鼠说,满嘴都是鸡蛋。“鼹鼠,好小伙,你已经吃完了,去看看是谁来了。”

鼹鼠起身去开门,河鼠听到他惊喜地喊了一声。随后,鼹鼠一下子打开客厅的门,郑重地宣布说:“獾先生驾到!”

这真是很不寻常,獾竟会亲自登门拜访他们,因为他是难得拜访任何人的。一般说,如果你急于见他,你就得在清晨或黄昏时趁他在树篱旁悄悄溜过时去遇他,或者到野林深处他家去找他,那可是件非同小可的事。

獾脚步重重地踱进屋,站着不动,神情严肃地望着两位朋友。河鼠手里的蛋勺不由得落在了桌布上,嘴巴张得大大的。

“时辰到了!”獾庄严宣称。

“什么时辰?”河鼠瞟了一眼炉台上的钟,不安地问。

“你应该问,‘谁的时辰’,”獾答道。“当然,是蟾蜍的时辰!我说过,等冬天一过。我就要管教管教他,今天,我就是来管教他的。”

“当然啰,是蟾蜍的时辰!”鼹鼠高兴地说。“乌拉!我想起来啦!咱们大伙是要去教训教训他,让他变得清醒点!”

“昨晚我得到可靠的消息,”獾坐在一张扶手椅上,接着说,“说就在今天上午,又有一辆马力特大的新汽车,要开到蟾宫,由他选购,或者退货。说不定这会儿,蟾蜍已经在穿戴他心爱的那套其丑无比的服装了。本来还不难看的蟾蜍,穿上那身衣服,就成了个怪物,不管哪个头脑清醒的动物见到他,都会吓晕过去的。咱们得及早动手,要不就太迟了。你二位得陪我去一趟蟾宫,务必去拯救拯救蟾蜍。”

“说得对!”河鼠跳起来喊道。“咱们要去拯救那个可怜虫!咱们要帮他改邪归正!要把他变成最最规矩懂事的蟾蜍,不然的话,咱们就得跟他一刀两断!”

他们出发上路,去执行一项行善的任务,獾在前领路。动物们在结伴同行时,总是采取一种适当而合理的走法,就是排成竖行,而不是横跨整个路面。因为如果那样走,在突遇麻烦或危险时,就不便互相支援协助。

他们来到蟾宫的大车道时,果如獾所料,看到房前停着一辆闪光锃亮的汽车,大型号,漆成鲜红色(这是蟾蜍最喜欢的颜色)。他们走到门口时,大门猛地打开,里面走出蟾蜍先生。他戴着护目镜、便帽,穿着长统靴和一件又肥又大的外套,摇摇摆摆,神气活现地走下台阶,一边往手上戴他那副宽口的大手套。

“嗨!伙计们,来呀!”一看到他们,蟾蜍就兴高采烈地喊道。“你们来得正是时候,跟我一道去痛快——痛快——呃——痛快——”

可是,看到几位朋友全都绷着脸,沉默不语,蟾蜍那热情洋溢的话变得结结巴巴,说不下去了,对他们的邀请也只说出一半。

獾大步走上台阶。“把他弄进屋去,”他严肃地吩咐两位同伴说。蟾蜍一路挣扎,抗议,被推搡到门里。獾转身对驾驶新车的司机说:

“今天恐怕用不着你了,蟾蜍先生已经改变主意,不要这辆车了。请你明白,这是最后决定,你不用再等了。”说罢,他跟着那几个走进屋去,关上大门。

当四只动物都站在过道里时,獾对蟾蜍说:“现在,你先把这身劳什子脱掉!”

“就不!”蟾蜍怒冲冲地说。“这样蛮不讲理的干涉,什么意思?我要你们立刻解释清楚。”

“那么,你们两个,替他脱!”獾简短地发布命令。

蟾蜍不住地踢踹,叫骂,他们不得不把他按倒在地,才能顺当地给他脱衣。河鼠坐在他身上,鼹鼠一件一件扒下他的驾驶服,然后他们把他提着站起来。随着蟾蜍的全副精良披挂被剥掉,他那大吼大叫的威风也消失大半了。现在,既然他不再是公路凶神,而只不过是蟾蜍,他只有无力地格格笑着,求饶似地看看这个,看看那个,像是彻底明白了他的处境。

“你知道,蟾蜍,早晚会有这一天的,”獾严厉地训诫说。“我们给过你那么多劝告,你全当耳边风。你一个劲儿挥霍你父亲留下的钱财。你发狂似地开车,横冲直撞,跟警察争吵,你在整个地区败坏了我们动物的名声。独立自主固然好,但我们动物绝不能听任朋友把自己变成傻瓜,越轨出格,你现在已经大大出格了。在许多方面,你都是挺不错的,我不愿对你过分严厉。我要再作一次努力,使你恢复理性。你跟我到吸烟室来,听我数落数落你的所作所为。等你从那间房里出来时,看能不能成为一个改过自新的蟾蜍。”

他牢牢抓住蟾蜍的臂,把他带进吸烟室,随手带上了门。

“那管什么用!”河鼠不屑地说。”给蟾蜍讲道理,治不了他的毛病。他会满口答应,事后不改。”

他俩安安逸逸坐在扶手椅上,静候结果。透过紧闭的门,他们只听到獾那又长又低的训话声,一阵高,一阵低,滔滔不绝。过了一会,他们注意到獾的训话声不时被长长的抽泣声打断,那显然是发自蟾蜍的内心,因为他是个心肠软重感情的动物,很容易——暂时地——听信任何观点的规劝。

约莫过了三刻钟,门开了,獾庄严地牵着一个软弱无力没精打采的蟾蜍走了出来。他的皮肤像口袋似的松垮垮地搭拉着,两腿摇摇晃晃,他被獾那感人肺腑的规劝打动了,腮帮子上满是泪痕。

“坐在这儿,蟾蜍,”獾指着一张椅子,和蔼地说。“朋友们,我很高兴地告诉你们,蟾蜍终于认识到他的做法是错误的。他对过去的越轨行为由衷地感到遗憾,决心再也不玩汽车了。他向我作出了庄严的保证。”

“这真是个大好消息,”鼹鼠郑重其事地说。

“确实是个大好消息,”河鼠疑疑惑惑地说,“只要——只要——”

他说这话时,眼睛紧盯着蟾蜍,仿佛看到,在蟾蜍那仍然悲悲戚戚的眼睛里,有种什么东西闪了一下。

“现在,你还得做一件事,”甚感快慰的獾接着说。“蟾蜍,我要求你当着这两位朋友的面,把你刚才在吸烟室里答应过我的话,庄严地重复一遍。第一,你为过去的行为感到遗憾,你认识到那全是胡闹,是不是?”

长时间的沉默。蟾蜍绝望地望望这边,望望那边,另几只动物都在严肃地默默等待。最后,他终于开腔了。

“不!”他脸色阴沉但气壮如牛地说,“我不遗憾。那根本就不是什么胡闹!那是光荣的!”

“什么?”獾大为惊骇地喊道。“你这个出尔反尔说话不算数的家伙!刚才,在那屋,你不是明明告诉我——”

“是啊,是啊,在那屋,”蟾蜍不耐烦地说。“在那屋,我什么都会说的。亲爱的獾,你口若悬河,那么感人,那么有说服力,把你的看法摆得头头是道,在那屋,你可以任意摆布我,这你知道。可是过后,我左思右想,把我做过的事细细琢磨了一遍,我发觉,我确实半点儿也不遗憾,不懊悔。所以,说我遗憾悔过,根本没意义。是这个理儿不是?”

“那么,”獾说,“你是不打算答应我,再也不碰汽车啦?”

“当然不!”蟾蜍斩钉截铁地说。“正相反,我诚心诚意答应你,只要我看到一辆汽车,噗噗,我就坐上开走!”

“瞧,我早就跟你说过不是?”河鼠对鼹鼠说。

“那好,”獾站了起来,坚决果断地说,“既然你不听规劝,那咱们就只好试试强制手段了。我一直担心,这步棋是在所难免的。蟾蜍,你不是总邀请我们三个来你这幢漂亮房子跟你一道住住吗,现在,我们就住下了。哪天我们把你的想法改得对头了,我们就离开,否则不走。你二位,把他带上楼去,锁在卧室里,然后我们几个来商量个办法。”

蟾蜍连踢带踹地挣扎着,被两位忠实朋友拖上楼去。“要知道,蟾儿,这是为你好,”河鼠和蔼地说。“你想想,等你——等你治好了这场倒霉的疯病以后,咱们四个就像往常一样一块儿玩,该有多乐呀!”

“蟾蜍,在你治好之前,我们会为你照管好一切的,”鼹鼠说:“我们不能看着你像过去那样乱花钱了。”

“再也不能由着你和警察胡缠了,蟾蜍。”河鼠说,他们把他推进卧室。

“再也不让你在医院一住几星期,被那些女护士支来唤去了。”鼹鼠添上一句,锁上了房门。

他们下楼来。蟾蜍对着锁眼高声叫骂了一通。然后,三个朋友开碰头会,商议对策。

“事情将很难办,”獾叹了口气说。“我从没见过蟾蜍这样死心眼儿。不过,咱们一定要坚持到底。一分一秒都不能放松,严加看管。咱们得轮流值班守护,直到他身上的毒痛自行消失为止。”

于是,他们安排了值班。每只动物夜间轮流睡在蟾蜍的卧室里,白天也分段值班。起初,对于几个小心谨慎的朋友,蟾蜍自然是很不好对付的。他的狂热劲一上来,就把卧室里的椅子摆成大体像辆汽车的样子,自己蹲在最前面,身子前倾,两眼紧盯前方,嘴里发出古怪可怕的嘈杂声。狂热达到顶点时,他会翻一个大筋斗,倒在地上,摊开四肢躺在东倒西歪的椅子当中、暂时得到了极大的满足。不过,日子一天天过去,这种痛苦的走火入魔越来越少了。他的朋友们千方百计想引导他把心思转移到别的方面,可是他对其他事物似乎一直没有恢复兴趣。他明显变得萎靡不振郁郁寡欢了。

一个晴朗的早晨,轮到河鼠值班,他上楼去接替獾。他看到獾坐立不安,急着要出去散散步,遛遛腿,绕着他的树林转一圈,到地下去走一遭儿。他在门外对河鼠说:“蟾蜍还设起床。没法从他嘴里掏出多少话,只说:‘噢,别管我,我什么也不要。也许过不久我就会好的,到时候,毛病就会过去的,不必过分担忧,’等等。河鼠,你要多加小心啊!每当蟾蜍变得安静柔顺,装出一副主日学得奖乖孩子的模样时,那也就是他最最狡猾的时候。肯定会耍什么鬼花招的。我了解他。好,现在我必须走了。”

“老伙计,今儿个你好吗?”河鼠走到蟾蜍的床旁,愉快地问道。

他等了好几分钟,才听到回答。这时,一个微弱的声音答道:“亲爱的鼠儿,多谢你了!承你问候,你真好!不过请先告诉我,你好吗,鼹鼠老兄好吗?”。

“噢,我们都好,”河鼠答道,他很不谨慎地又加上一句:“鼹鼠跟獾一道出去遛弯了,要到吃午饭才回来。所以,今天上午就剩你跟我单独在一起,咱们要过得高高兴兴。我要尽力让你开心。快跳下床来,好小伙。天气这么好,别愁眉苦脸地赖在床上了!

“亲爱的、好心肠的河鼠,”蟾蜍低声咕哝,“你太不了解我的情况了,我现在怎么可能‘跳下床’呢?恐怕永远也不可能了!不过请不用为我发愁。我不愿成为朋友们的累赘,料想这也不会很久了。真的,我希望不会太久。”

“是啊,我也希望这样。”河鼠恳切地说。“这阵子,你叫我们大伙伤透了脑筋,我很高兴听到你说,这一切都将结束。特别是天气这么好,划船的季节又到了!蟾蜍,你实在太差劲了!倒不是我们嫌麻烦,可你叫我们失去了许多东西!”

“不过,恐怕你们还是嫌麻烦,”蟾蜍有气无力地说。“这一点我很能理解。这很自然嘛。你们一直为我操心,已经感到厌烦了。我不该再给你们添麻烦、我知道,我是个累赘。”

“你确实是个累赘,”河鼠说。“不过我告诉你,只要你能明理懂事,我为你出多大力也甘心。”

“既然这样,鼠儿,”蟾蜍更加虚弱地低声说,“那么我求你——也许是最后一次——尽快到村里去一趟——说不定已经太晚了——请个大夫来。算了吧,别操这份心了。这事太麻烦。也许,还是听其自然好。”

“怎么,请大夫来干吗?”河鼠问。他凑到蟾蜍跟前,仔细观察他。蟾蜍确实静静地平躺在床上,声音越发微弱,神态大大地变了。

“你近来一定注意到——”蟾蜍喃喃道。“啊不——你怎么会注意到?那太麻烦了。也许到明天,你就会说,‘唉,我要是早注意到就好了!我要是采取措施就好了!’不不,那太麻烦了。没关系,忘掉我这些话吧。”

“听着,老朋友,”河鼠说,他有点惊慌起来,“如果你真的需要,我自然会去替你请大夫的。可你还没病到那个地步呀。咱们还是谈点别的吧。”

“亲爱的朋友,”蟾蜍惨笑着说,“光是‘谈谈’,对我这病恐怕是无济于事的——就连医生恐怕也无能为力了。不过,总得抓根稻草吧。顺便说一句,既然你打算去请医先,那就请你顺路把律师也请来,好吗?——我实在不愿再给你添麻烦,不过我忽然想起,去医生家要路过律师家门口。那样就省了我的事了,因为有的时候 ——也许我应该说,就在这一刻——你必须面对不愉快的事情。不管那要消耗你多大的体力。”

“请律师!哎呀,想必他真的病得厉害了!”惊慌失措的河鼠自言自语说。他匆匆走出卧室,倒还没忘把门仔细锁好。

来到屋外,他停下来想了想、那两位都远在别处,他找不到一个可以商量的人。

“还是小心些好,”他考虑了片刻,说道。“蟾蜍过去虽也无缘无故把自己的病想得太重,可还从没听他说要请律师呀!要是真没大病,医生会骂他是个大笨蛋,会给他打气,那倒也是一得吧。我不妨迁就一下他的怪脾气,跑一趟,用不了多久的。”于是他带着行善的使命,向村子跑去。

一听到钥匙在锁眼里转动的声音,蟾蜍立刻轻轻跳下床,跑到窗口,急切地望着河鼠,直到车道上不见了他的踪影。接着,他开心地放声大笑,火速穿上随手抓到的最神气的衣裳,从梳妆台的一只小抽屉里取出钱,塞满了所有的衣袋。下一步,他把床单全都结在一起,又把这根临时结成的绳子一端牢系在窗框上。那美丽的都铎王朝式的窗子,是他的卧室的一景。他爬出窗口,顺着绳子轻轻滑落地上,朝着和河鼠相反的方向,吹着欢快的口哨,轻松地迈开大步,扬长而去。

那顿午饭,河鼠吃得没精打采。獾和鼹鼠回来后,河鼠不得不在餐桌上对他们讲述他那段难以置信的倒霉经历。獾的那种刻薄甚至粗暴的批评,可想而知,自不待言,就连竭力要站在朋友一边的鼹鼠,也不得不表示:“鼠儿,这回你可是有点糊涂!蟾蜍当然更是糊涂绝顶了!”这话深深刺痛了河鼠。

“他装得太到家了!”垂头丧气的河鼠说。

“他把你蒙骗到家了!”獾怒冲冲地说。“不过,光说也于事无补。他暂时肯定已经跑得很远了。最糟的是,他自作聪明,自以为了不起,什么荒唐事都干得出来。唯一可以告慰的是,我们现在自由了,不必再浪费时间为他放哨了。不过咱们最好还是在蟾宫多住些日子。蟾蜍随时都可能回来的——不是用担架抬回来,就是被警察押送回来。”

话虽是这么说,獾并不能预卜未来的吉凶祸福,也不知道要过多久,经历多少风险磨难,蟾蜍才能回到他祖传的家宅。

这时,那个美滋滋的不负责任的蟾蜍,正在公路上轻快地走着,离家已经有好几哩了。起初,他专拣小道走,穿过一块块田地,为了躲避追踪,换了好几次路线;现在,他觉得已经摆脱了被抓回去的危险,而太阳正快活地冲他微笑,整个大自然都齐声合唱一首颂歌,赞美他心里唱出的那首自我表扬的歌。他心满意足,自鸣得意,一路上几乎都在跳舞。

“干得真漂亮!”他格格笑着对自己说。“以智力反抗暴力,智力终究占了上风——这是必然的。可怜的老耗子!啊呀,獾回来时,他还不得挨一顿好骂!耗子呀,人倒是个好人,优点不少,可就是缺少智慧,根本没受过教育。将来有一天,我要亲自培养他,看能不能把他调教出个模样来。”

他满脑子自高自大的念头,昂首阔步往前走,径直来到一座小镇。在正街的中央,横悬着一幅招牌——“红狮”,这使他想起,当天还没顾上吃早饭,走了这么远的路,肚子着实饿瘪了。他大步走进小客店,要了那家招牌短短的小店所供应的一客最好的午饭,坐在咖啡室里,吃起来。

刚吃到一半。就听到一个非常熟悉的声音,由远而近,从街上传来,他不由得浑身一震,打起哆咦来。那噗噗声!听得出。那辆汽车越来越近,开进了客店的院子,停了下来。蟾蜍紧紧抓住桌腿,来掩盖他难以控制的激动。随后,车上那伙人就走进了咖啡室。他们饿了,有说有笑,大谈那天上午的经历,和他们乘坐的那辆汽车的优良性能。蟾蜍如饥似渴、全神贯注地倾听了一会,终于按捺不住了。他轻轻溜出咖啡室,在柜台付了帐,一出屋,就悄悄转游到院子里。“只瞅一眼,”他对自己说,“谅无妨碍吧!”

汽车就停在院子当中,没人看管,因为马厩工人和其他随从都进屋吃饭去了。蟾蜍慢悠悠地围着它转,仔细打量着,评点着,苦苦思索着。

“不知道,”他忽然问自己,“不知道这种车好不好发动?”

只一眨眼工夫,不知怎的,他已经握住了把手,转了一下。一听到那熟悉的声音,他过去的热狂又袭来,攫住了他的全部身心。像做梦一般,他不知怎的就坐到了司机座上;像做梦一般,他拉动了档杆,开车在院里兜了一圈,然后驶出了拱门。像做梦一般,什么是非曲直,什么顾虑担忧,一股脑都抛到九霄云外。他加大了车速,汽车冲过街道,跃上公路,越过旷野。这时,他忘掉了一切,只知道他又成了蟾蜍,无比高明强大的蟾蜍,煞星蟾蜍,大道上的征服者,小路上的霸王;在他面前,人人都得让路,否则便被碾得粉碎,永不见天日。他一面驱车飞驰,一面引吭高歌,那车也和着他的歌声,隆隆低吟。一里又一里,被他的车轮碾过,他不知道究竟驶向哪里,只是为了充分满足他的天性,尽情享受眼前的快乐,至于下一步会遇到什么,一概不闻不问。

“依我看,”首席法官兴致勃勃地说,“这件案子案情是够清楚的,唯一的困难是,对于我们面前这个错缩在被告席上的无可救药的流氓,这个不知悔改的恶棍,怎样才能给他点厉害尝尝。让我想想——他有罪,证据确凿无疑:第一,他偷了一辆昂贵的汽车;第二,他胡乱驾驶,危害公众;第三,他对警察蛮横无礼。录事先生,请告诉我们,这三条中的每一条罪行,我们能判给的。最严厉的惩罚是什么?当然,不能给犯人任何假定无罪的机会,因为根本不存在这种机会。”

录事用钢笔刮了刮鼻子,说:“有人认为,偷汽车是最大的罪行,确实如此。不过,冒犯警察,无疑应受到最严厉的惩罚,确实应该。如果说,盗车罪应处十二个月监禁——那是很轻的;疯狂驾驶应处以三年监禁——那也是宽大的;冒犯警察则应处十五年监禁——根据证人的证词(哪怕你只相信这些证词的十分之一,我自己从不相信多于十分之一的证词),他的冒犯行为是十分恶劣的。三项加在一起,总共是十九年——”

“好极了!”首席法官说。

“——您不如干脆凑它一个整数:二十年,这样更保险。”录事加上一句。

“这个建议太好了!”首席法官赞许说。“犯人!起来,站直了。这次判你二十年监禁。注意,下次再看到你在这里,不管犯什么罪,一定要重重惩罚你!”

随后,粗暴的狱吏们扑向倒霉的蟾蜍,给他戴上镣铐,拖出法庭。他一路尖叫,祈求,抗议。他被拖着经过市场。市场上那些游手好闲的公众,对通缉犯向来都表同情和提供援助,而对已确认的罪犯则向来是疾言厉色。他们纷纷向他投来嘲骂,扔胡萝卜,喊口号。他被拖着经过起哄的学童,他们每看到一位绅士陷入困境,天真的小脸上就露出喜滋滋的神色。他被拖着走过轧轧作响的吊桥,穿过布满铁钉的铁闸门,钻过狰狞的古堡里阴森可怖的拱道,古堡上的塔楼高耸入云;穿过挤满了下班士兵的警卫室,他们冲他咧嘴狞笑;经过发出嘲弄的咳嗽的哨兵,因为当班的哨兵只许这样来表示他们对罪犯的轻蔑和嫌恶;走上一段转弯抹角的古老石级,经过身着钢盔铁甲的武士,他们从盔里射出恐吓的目光;穿过院子,院里凶恶的猛犬把皮带绷得紧紧的,爪子向空中乱抓,要向他扑过来;经过年老的狱卒,他们把兵器斜靠在墙上,对着一个肉馅饼和一罐棕色的麦酒打瞌睡;走呀走呀,走过拉肢拷问室,夹指室,走过通向秘密断头台的拐角,一直走到监狱最深处那间最阴森的地牢门前。门口坐着一个年老的狱卒,手里摆弄着一串又重又大的钥匙。就在这里,他们停了下来。

“喂,好家伙!”警官说。他摘下钢盔,擦了擦额头的汗。“醒醒,老懒虫,把这个坏蛋蟾蜍看管起来。他是个罪行累累、狡诈奸滑、诡计多端的罪犯。灰胡子老头,你要竭尽全力把他看好,如有闪失,就要你这颗老人头——你和他都要遭殃!”

狱卒阴沉地点点头,把他枯干的手按在不幸的蟾蜍肩上。生了锈的钥匙在锁眼里轧轧转动,笨重的牢门在他们身后恍当一声关上了。就这样,蟾蜍成了整个欢乐的英格兰国土上最坚固的城堡里最戒备森严、最隐密的地牢里一个可怜无助的囚犯。

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