人生不设限·为我生命带来重大影响的三种人

你可能不像我一样，需要一个训练有素的人一个星期7天、一天24小时等着帮你，但我们都需要某种类型的看护，例如可以分享点子的人、可以提供最诚实建言的人、可以鼓励我们的人，或是良师益友和人生典范。

Chances are you don't need a trained person to be there for you twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. But we all need care-givers of some sort, someone to share ideas with, someone who will always give us honest advice, or someone who serves as an encourager, mentor, or role model.

承认自己并非无所不知或需要帮忙，是要谦逊和勇气的。我之前提过，当你意识到自己的人生目的，并投入追求梦想时，总会出现一些诋毁你的人。幸好，其他人也会出现——有时是在你最没预料到的时候来替你打气，或者为你指点迷津。你应该为他们的出现作好准备，因为跟这些人联结，会改变你的生命。

It takes humility and courage to admit that you don't know everything or that you could use a hand. I mentioned earlier that when you have a sense of purpose and have committed to pursuing your dreams, you will always have a few detractors. Fortunately others will also appear—sometimes where you least expect it—to give you a boost, or to offer guidance. You should be ready for them because bonding with them can change your life.

有三种人曾经为我的生命带来重大影响：良师益友、人生典范与人生旅伴。

There are three types of guides whose relationships have impacted my life: Mentors, Role Models, and Fellow Travelers.

良师益友是已经到达你向往境界的人，但他们也是分享你的梦想的支持者与鼓励者，真心希望你能成功。通常父母是你天生的良师益友，而如果你运气好，会有其他人愿意在你生命中担任这样的角色。我最早的良师益友之一是我的山姆舅舅，他拥有创业家的心思、发明家的创造力以及探险家的视野。山姆舅舅对新经验总是抱持开放态度，当我年纪还小的时候，他就鼓励我展翅飞翔，还告诉我，人生唯一真正的障碍，是我们自己为自己制造出来的。他的指引与鼓励，给了我扩展视野的勇气。

Mentors are people who've been where you want to go, but they are also supporters and encouragers who share your dreams and truly want you to succeed. Your parents are natural mentors, but if you are lucky you will find others willing to step up in that role throughout your life. One of my earliest was my mother's brother, my uncle Sam Radojevic, who still lives in Australia with his great wife and wonderful children. He has the heart of an entrepreneur, the ingenuity of an inventor, and the vision of an explorer. Uncle Sam is always open to new experiences, and when I was young he encouraged me to take wing. He told me that the only true obstacles in life are those we make for ourselves. His guidance and support gave me the courage to expand my vision.

我知道许多人一辈子都背负着悔恨的重担，但山姆舅舅从不回头看。即使犯了错，他依然带着压抑不住、如孩童般热爱生命的精神，继续前进，寻求下一次机会。

I've known many people who carry the burden of regret throughout their lives, but Uncle Sam has never been one to look back. Even when he makes mistakes, he always pushes forward to the next opportunity with the irrepressible spirit of a child in love with life.

山姆舅舅鼓励我无论如何都要向前看，而且他总是对我有信心，即使有时我并不那么看好自己。我13岁时，他跟我说：“力克，有一天你会跟总统、国王和女王握手哦。”那时他甚至相信上帝对我有个大计划。山姆舅舅真是一位超棒的良师益友!

Uncle Sam encourages me to likewise keep looking ahead, and he has always believed in me even when I didn't believe in myself. I was thirteen when he told me, "Nicholas, you will shake the hands of presidents, kings, and queens someday." He believed even then that God had a big plan for me. What a great person to have as a mentor!

我鼓励你去寻找你的良师益友。不过你要知道，真正的良师益友并不只是拉拉队，一旦认为你偏离轨道，他们也会直言不讳。良师益友的批评与赞美，你都应该听，因为他们是真心为你着想。

I encourage you to reach out for your own mentors. But understand that true mentors aren't just cheerleaders—they will tell you when they think you are wandering off course. You have to be willing to listen to their criticisms as well as their praise, knowing that they have your best interests at heart.

我也非常景仰我表哥唐肯。小时候，我总是很怕麻烦人家带我去厕所，他就跟我说了一句话，要我铭记在心：“当你需要上厕所，尽管去跟别人说。”不只是他和其他胡哲家族的堂兄弟姐妹一直爱着我、支持我，唐肯和他妈妈更是在我展开演讲生涯初期，帮助我克服恐惧。

I also looked up to my cousin Duncan Jurisic. When I was a child, I'd often be afraid to inconvenience someone to take me to the loo, so he helped me come up with a line to remember. He said, "When you need to go, just let someone know." Not only did he and my other Vujicic cousins continue to love and support me, but Duncan and his mother, Danilka, helped me overcome my fears in the early days of my speaking career. Their family, who ran the Australian Hospitality Group in Melbourne, offered me their wise and valuable guidance.

人生典范也已经到达你向往的境界，但通常不是像良师益友一样离你那么近。你往往是从远处看着他们，研究他们的动向，阅读他们的著作，并跟着走上他们的职业生涯，以他们为榜样。这些人通常是你那个圈子里的名人，因为功成名就而备受尊敬。我一直很敬重的人生典范之一是葛理翰牧师，他活出了《马可福音》第16章第15节经文的内容：“你们往普天下去，传福音给万民。”这句话也激励了我。

Role Models have been where you want to go, but they aren't usually as close to you as mentors. Usually you watch them from afar, study their moves, read their books, and follow their careers as models for your own. Often these are celebrated figures in your field, people whose success has made them famous and respected. One of my long-term role models whom I've always wanted to meet is the Reverend Billy Graham. He has lived the words from Mark 16:15 that also are my inspiration: "Go into all the world and preach the Gospel to every creature."

对我来说，还有些人是介于良师益友和人生典范之间，例如维克与爱尔希夫妇。我几乎每年都会去拜访他们一次，而他们总是鼓励我要成为一个更好的基督徒、更好的人。住在澳大利亚的维克与爱尔希在南太平洋各个偏远的角落建立了超过65个教会和布道团，他们是我以宣教士身份发挥影响力的榜样。这对夫妇安静地工作，没有太多宣传，也从来不自吹自擂，但他们真的影响了许许多多的灵魂。

There has to be a place somewhere between mentors and role models for folks like Vic and Elsie Schlatter, whom I've visited at least once a year nearly every year of my life. They always inspire me to be a better Christian and a better person. They live in Australia, but they have planted more than sixty-five churches and missions in far-flung corners of the South Pacific. They are my models for making a difference as missionaries. They work quietly, without a lot of publicity, and they never puff themselves up, but they've made a world of difference for many, many souls.

要认出人生旅伴，对我来说有点难度，因为我的人生走的实在不是传统的路。所谓的人生旅伴通常是指同侪、同事，以及其他跟你有着类似目标、走在同方向路上的人，他们甚至可能是你的对手，不过是友善的对手。你们凭借学习抱持丰盛而不是匮乏的心态彼此鼓励、互相扶持。

Identifying a Fellow Traveler is a bit tough for me because my life has followed a rather unconventional path. Fellow travelers are usually peers, co-workers, and others with similar goals to yours, who are walking on a parallel road. They might even be rivals, but friendly rivals. You encourage and support each other by practicing an abundance mentality rather than a scarcity mentality.

如果你相信丰盛，就会相信上帝的祝福永远足够给每一个人——足够的圆满、足够的机会、足够的快乐和足够的爱。我希望你可以采用这个观点，因为这会让你向他人敞开。如果你总是认为这个世界的资源稀少、机会有限，那么你可能会把人生旅伴视为威胁，认为他们会夺走一切，什么也不留给你。竞争可以是非常健康的，因为它给了你动力，而且你总是会发现，你要什么，就会有人也要什么。但如果你抱持着丰盛的心态，就会相信人人有赏，所以竞争比较像是尽力做到最好，并且鼓励别人也同样这么做。

When you believe in abundance, you believe there are enough of God's blessings—enough fulfillment, enough opportunity, enough happiness, and enough love—out there for everyone. I encourage you to take that point of view because it opens you up to other people. If you tend to think of the world as a place of scarce resources and limited opportunities, then you'll see fellow travelers as threats who'll take what is out there and leave nothing for you. Competition can be healthy because it motivates you, and you will always find others who want what you want. With an abundance mentality, you believe there are rewards enough for everyone, so competition is more about striving to do your best and encouraging others to do the same.

丰盛的心态让你跟人生旅伴以一种战友的感觉互相支持、并肩同行。我从跟琼妮·艾瑞克森·塔达的友谊中认识到这一点，我们的生命旅程走的路很相似。前面提过，早在认识她之前，琼妮就是我的人生典范;到了美国，她成为我的良师益友，帮助我安顿生活;如今，她成了我的人生旅伴，常常给我明智的建言，并带着同理心听我倾诉。

An abundance mentality allows you to walk alongside your fellow travelers with feelings of camaraderie and mutual support. I learned that in my friendship with Joni Eareckson Tada, who has traveled a similar path to mine. As I described earlier, Joni was a role model for me long before I knew her; she became a mentor, helping me get established in the United States; and now she is a fellow traveler, offering wise counsel and a sympathetic ear.

另一个在各方面帮助我的人是贾姬，我十多岁时，她住在我家附近。尽管她已婚、有小孩，但是当我要倾吐心事时——无论好事、坏事，贾姬总是找得出时间聆听。她的年纪没有大我很多，所以比较像是一个有智慧的好友，而不是严格的长辈。

Another person who has been there for me in all sorts of ways is Jackie Davison, who lived around the corner from my family when I was a teenager. She was married with young children, but Jackie always found time to listen to me as I spilled my guts about whatever was on my mind, good or bad. She was close enough in age that she was more of a wise friend than a judgmental adult. I have such love for her family, and I became an unofficial big brother to her kids, helping them with their homework or just hanging out.

2002年，我的大学学业和个人生活都很不顺，常常走神，也很迷惘。我跟交往多年的女友分手，整个人很情绪化，所以去找贾姬，想请她帮我弄清楚到底发生了什么事。我对她掏心掏肺，而她只是双手紧握，静静地坐着听我讲。突然问，我发现自己正把情绪重担全部卸下，转到她身上，她却没有反应。最后，我停下来说：“我该怎么办?告诉我!”贾姬微笑着，双眼发亮，简单地回答一句：“赞美上帝。”

Back in 2002 I was having a rough time in my university studies and in my personal life, and it was distracting and disorienting. I'd broken up with a longtime girlfriend and was very emotional. So I went to Jackie and asked her to help me understand what had happened. I poured out my heart, but she sat there with her hands clasped, patiently listening without responding. Suddenly it hit me that as I was unloading all this emotional baggage on her, she wasn't reacting. Finally I stopped and said, "What should I do? Tell me!" She smiled and her eyes sparkled as she said simply, "Praise God."

困惑又充满挫折感的我说：“赞美上帝什么?”

Confused and frustrated, I said, "Praise God for what?"

“就是赞美上帝，力克。”

"Just praise God, Nick."

我瞪着地板，心想：“她就只能说这个?这个女人还真了不起。”

I stared at the fl oor thinking, That's all she has to say? This woman is something else!

接着我突然想到，贾姬是在告诉我：要信任上帝，因为他从未忘记我;不要相信人的智慧，而是要相信上帝的力量;要顺服神，而且就算心里觉得上帝没有什么好谢的，还是要感谢他;要为了来自这份痛苦的祝福，而预先感谢上帝。贾姬有坚定的信仰，也常常在我觉得困惑或受伤时，提醒我顺服上帝，因为他对我们每个人都有计划。

Then it hit me that Jackie was telling me to trust in God and that He hadn't forgotten me. She was telling me that I should put faith not in the wisdom of man but in the power of God. She was telling me to surrender to God and to thank Him, even though I didn't feel He deserved thanks. She was telling me to thank God in advance for blessings that would come of this pain. She has a powerful faith, and she always reminds me, when I feel confused or hurt, to surrender to God, because He has a plan for us all.