生活大爆炸 第五季:第2集 佩妮的免费沙发(上)
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What are you doing?
你干嘛呢
Oh, uh, Priya's calling in a few minutes on Skype,
普丽娅一会要跟我用Skype视频
and we are gonna have a dinner date.
我们准备共进晚餐
It's 8 o'clock in the morning in Mumbai.
现在是孟买时间早上八点
How can she have dinner?
她怎么就吃起晚饭来了
Fine, whatever.Priya will be having breakfast.
好吧 随你怎么说 那普丽娅就吃早餐好了
All right, so technically it's not a dinner date.
好吧 所以严格来讲你们俩不是共进晚餐
I suppose you could call it a, uh, dinfast date.
也许你勉强可以把这称为共进早晚餐
But if you did, you'd open yourself to peer-based mocking, such as,Hey, Leonard, how was your dinfast with Priya last night?
不过你要是真这么叫的话 你肯定会被别人笑死 人家肯定会说 莱纳德 你昨晚跟普丽娅的早晚餐吃的好吗
That doesn't sound like mocking.
听起来不像是在笑话我呀
You didn't let me finish.Dinfast.
我还没说完呢 早晚餐
Are those soy-based candles?
那是大豆蜡的蜡烛吗
I don't know. Why?
不知道 怎么了
Paraffin candles may contain carcinogens.
石蜡蜡烛可能含有致癌物
Unless lung cancer is the ambiance you were going for at your dinfast. Dinfast.
当然啦 你要是想吃顿早晚餐 还搭上肺癌的话 我也不拦你 早晚餐
Listen, I don't want to be rude,
我不想无礼
but Priya's gonna be calling any minute, so...
可是普丽娅随时都会打来
Oh, yes, Priya.
对哦 普丽娅
Leonard, you know I make a point of never interfering in your personal affairs.
莱纳德 你知道我从来都不干涉你的私事
Yes, I've always admired that about you.
没错 我也一直很欣赏你这点
As well you should.But I'm going to make an exception here.
那是当然但是我这次要破例了
Oh, good.
又来了
Priya has moved back to India to pursue her law career.
普丽娅回印度去发展自己的法律事业
Instead of desperately trying to keep this intercontinental relationship alive,you could use that time to take up a hobby.
你与其花这些时间绝望地挣扎费劲心思地保持这段跨洲恋情 你还不如找点别的兴趣爱好呢
A hobby?
兴趣爱好
Yes.I read recently about a fellow in Kansas with an enormous ball of twine.
没错 我最近得知堪萨斯州一个家伙 拿麻绳团了一个巨大的球
I bet you could give him a run for his money.
我认为你可以跟他一比高下
You know, some people might say that it's great that we're trying to make things work long distance.They'd say things like,Love is stronger than the miles between you.
你知道吗 有些人可能会说 我们俩保持这种异地恋是精神可嘉的事 他们会说 爱情不会被你们俩之间的距离所打败
When I rise to power, those people will be sterilized.
等有一天我掌权了 我肯定会灭掉这帮人
You video-chat with Amy all the time.How is this different?
你也整天跟艾米视频呀 咱俩干的事有什么不同
Don't you like Amy?
你不喜欢艾米吗
Of course I like Amy.
我当然喜欢艾米啦
Well, there's the difference.
可我不喜欢普丽娅呀
Excuse me, that's Priya.
不好意思 普丽娅打来了
Hi, Leonard.
莱纳德
Hey, honey.
亲爱的
I miss you.
我好想你
Oh, I miss you, too.
我也好想你
I miss the old days when your romantic partners could be returned to the video store.
我怀念以前爱情伴侣们 能退回录像店的日子
Thanks for letting me stay here while Leonard Skypes with his girlfriend.
谢谢你让我待在这这样我就不用看着莱纳德跟他女朋友视频了
Oh, it's no problem.
小意思
It's actually kind of nice.You reading, me reading.We're like an old married couple.
这种感觉还挺不错的呢 你在看书 我也在看书 咱俩就像一对老夫老妻似的
If we were an old married couple, the wife would serve iced tea and snickerdoodles.
咱俩要真是老夫老妻的话 妻子这个时候就会端上冻柠茶和曲奇饼了
I don't have iced tea and snickerdoodles.
我家没有冻柠茶和曲奇饼
A good wife would go to the store.
尽职的妻子就会去商店买
I want a divorce.
我要离婚
Good. On the way to see the lawyer,
很好 你去找律师的路上
pick up some tea and cookies.
别忘了买点冻柠茶和曲奇饼
I must say, I am enjoying your new chair.
我还真得说 我挺喜欢你这张新椅子的
It's great, isn't it?
舒服吧
It is.Aligns the lumbar,cradles the coccyx, balances the buttocks.
没错 符合腰椎曲线 支撑住了尾骨 还平衡了臀部
This is a chair worthy of the name.
这椅子还真对得起它的名字
What name?
什么名字
Chair.
椅子呀
Oh, all right, well, I'm glad you like it.I mean, I still can't get over the fact someone just threw it away.
好吧 你喜欢就好 我还是想不通 怎么有人就忍心把它给扔了呢
What?
你说什么
Yeah, it was just sitting on the street.I paid a homeless guy ten bucks to help me get it up here.
就是说呀 这椅子就被丢在路上 我给了个流浪汉十块钱 让他帮我把这张椅子搬上来的
Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
哦天呐 哦天呐
What is wrong?
你怎么啦
I've been sitting in garbage!
我刚坐在垃圾上了
Sheldon, take it easy.
谢尔顿 淡定嘛
You take it easy! I need to use your shower.
你去淡定吧 我得去趟浴室
I went into this marriage with so much hope.
我当年结婚的时候还是太过乐观了
There's a wet Band-Aid on the shower floor!
浴室地板上有张湿创口贴
Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait...
我们的宇宙进入了极热的高浓度状态，后来，140亿年前它开始扩张。等等……
The Earth began to cool,the autotrophs began to drool,neanderthals developed tools, we built a wall (we built the pyramids),
地球开始冷却，自养生物开始繁殖,穴居人学会使用工具，我们开始建墙（我们还建了金字塔）
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,That all started with the big bang!bang!
数学、科学、历史解开了宇宙之谜。这一切从宇宙大爆炸开始。
This is fun.I've never used a hydraulic thermoforming press before.
真有意思 我还从来没用过热成型液压机呢
Pretty sweet, huh? This little baby set the university back 175 grand.
很赞吧 这个小玩意儿花了学校十七万五千刀
That's three minutes.Shall we see what we got? Hang on
三分钟到了 让我们看看成果如何 马上好
Oh, yeah.This is one good-looking panini.
哦也 这真是个有型的三明治
Hand me the tuna melt.Thank you.
把金枪鱼三明治给我 谢谢
How's it going with the long-distance love affair?
你那跨国异地恋怎么样啦
Not easy, but we're making it work.
不容易啊 但我俩正在努力
When you say "Making it work," does that include doing the cyber nasty?
你这句"正在努力"包不包括玩些线上耍流氓啊
What?
什么
You know, the virtual pickle tickle.
你懂的 就是虚拟的很黄很暴力的那种啊
The digital... bow-chicka-bow-bow.
数字化的嘿嘿咻咻
Come on, dude. This is my sister you're talking about.
拜托 伙计 你在说我妹啊
Hey, Leonard jiggling his junk at her through a webcam has got to be easier for you to deal with than him actually touching her with it.
喂 对你来说 莱纳德在摄像头里对着她抖那货 总要好过他当着她的面拿那货戳她吧
There's no junk jiggling. We just talk.
我没那么猥琐 我们就是聊天而已
Are you insane?
你疯了吧
With high-speed Internet, you have at your fingertips the greatest advancement in the field of sex since the invention of the washcloth.
有了高速互联网 你的指尖下 就是继小手帕之后性爱领域的(注: 小手帕是撸sir之友) 最伟大的进步啊
I can't do that.
我不能那么做
Well, if you don't,you're gonna lose Priya to some fancy guy in a turban who grew up with Kama Sutra coloring books.
好吧 你要是不这么做你就是把普丽娅拱手让给某个 从小看《印度爱经》插图版长大的头巾男了
How can you be so racist?
你怎么能这么种族歧视呢
Oh, come on, tell me I'm wrong.
拜托 我哪句说错了
Oh, Leonard, good.There you are.
莱纳德 很好 找到你了
I need you to check my head for chair lice.
我需要你来检查我头上有没有虱子
I did it last night, I'm not doing it again.
我昨晚查过了 我不能再犯傻了
Just his head, right?
没检查别的地儿 对吧
I don't want to talk about it.
我不想聊这事儿
You didn't catch bugs from Penny's chair.
佩妮椅子上的虫子没跑到你身上
Yes, I did.
不对 有虫子
And now they're cavorting at the base of my hair follicles like dancing hippies at the Redwood National Forest.
现在它们在我的发根毛囊里欢呼雀跃 就像在红木国家森林公园里跳舞
Sheldon, you do this all the time.You fixate on some crazy idea and then blow it way out of proportion.
谢尔顿 你老是这样 你总是纠结于某个傻乎乎的想法然后无限制地放大
Name one time I've ever done that.
请举一个例子
How about when you put GPS trackers in your garbage because you were convinced North Korean spies were stealing your doodles?
比如上次你把GPS追踪器放进垃圾桶里 就因为你坚信朝鲜间谍 在偷你的草稿纸
The chicken nuggets you were sure were human nuggets.
还有你坚信是人肉做的鸡块
The strangely-shaped cloud that was following you around town.
还有那朵奇形怪状的在城里老跟踪你的云
The time you put on my shirt by mistake and were convinced you'd started growing again.
还有那次你错穿了我的T恤 还以为自己又开始长个儿了
I said, "Name one."You really need to work on your listening skills.
我说的是 "举一个例子" 你的听力真得练练了
Penny.Penny. Penny.
佩妮 佩妮 佩妮
Yello.You need to remove that chair from the building.It's a health hazard.
你得把那个椅子从楼里搬出去 它是个卫生隐患
Okay, relax. I took off the slipcovers, had them dry-cleaned and then fumigated the cushions.
好吧 淡定吧 我把家具套给拆下来 送去干洗了 坐垫也熏蒸消毒了
Really?
真的吗
Yeah. It's cleaner than my couch.Found half a Hot Pocket in there.
必须的 它现在比我的沙发还干净 我还在里面找到了半个鸡蛋灌饼呢
It certainly looks okay. Has a strong toxic chemical smell.That's reassuring.
看起来还不错有一股强烈的有毒化学药剂味 真让人安心啊
Why don't you give it a try, Sheldon?
坐上去试试呗 谢尔顿
All right.
好吧
It is a comfortable chair.
这椅子挺舒服
Why don't you just admit you overreacted?
你为啥不承认你之前反应过激了呢
No, thank you.
不必了 多谢
It's like living with a Chihuahua.
简直像跟个吉娃娃一起住一样
Penny. Penny. Penny.
佩妮 佩妮 佩妮
What's up, buttercup?
有事吗 小毛孩
You have to get rid of the chair.
你必须把那椅子扔了
Nope.
不。
Penny. Penny. Penny.
佩妮 佩妮 佩妮
What's the word, hummingbird?
想叽歪啥呀 小蜂鸟
For your safety, please wait in my apartment as I call the authorities so they may remove the chair of death.
为你安全考量 请到我们那等着 让我报警请他们搬走这死亡之椅
No.
不要
Penny! Penny! Penny!
佩妮 佩妮 佩妮
What's the gist, physicist?
有何指示 小物理学家
Under my authority as a self-appointed member of the Centers for Disease Control street team......these premises are condemned.
作为本街道疾控中心 自封的一员 我宣布 此房屋应报废
As a man with a keen sense of style,I must tell you, that chair does not work with the room.
作为有着敏锐时尚感的达人 我必须说 那椅子跟你家一点都不配
Penny!Penny!
佩妮 佩妮
Ah...
啊……
Penny.
佩妮
