生活大爆炸 第五季:第12集 伯妮抱怨生娃毁妈(上)
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Completely empty box.If you'd like to examine it...
空空如也的盒子 你们可以检查一下
Mmhmm. Yep.I see nothing in this box but a wasted childhood.
好啊 盒子里除了空虚的童年时光 空无一物
Little snarky there, cello Lessons.
吐槽过分了吧 学大提琴的
And we have this completely ordinary cylinder.If you'd like to examine it...
这里还有一个十分普通的圆筒 你们也可以检查一下
Ordinary, yet I sense it is dripping with magical potential.
看似普通 不过我感觉到它隐隐散发的魔力了
Oh, dear Lord.A man pops out for a moment to evacuate his bowels and catch up on the adventures of the Caped Crusader,only to emerge and discover his apartment has been transformed into a cabaret.
的冒险之旅 再出来就发现家里 赫然变成卡巴莱酒馆了(卡巴莱酒馆: 有歌舞表演的酒馆)
Sheldon, he's just practicing for his cousin's birthday party.
谢尔顿 他是在为他表弟的 生日派对提前排练啦
As I was saying...empty box, empty cylinder,and... ooh!Voila.
正如我所说 空盒子 空圆筒 然后呢 瞧啊
I'm telling you, dude, there's a seat on the Hogwarts Express with your name on it.
我跟你讲 哥们 霍格沃茨特快的车厢中 肯定有你的一席之地
This is how you're going to entertain your little cousin and his friends?By lying to them?
娱乐你的小表弟和他朋友吗 靠蒙骗他们
How is this lying?
这怎么能是骗呢
A magic show is an inherently deceitful proposition.This is an ordinary top hat.
魔术表演本来就是充满了坑蒙拐骗 这是一顶普通的礼帽哦
You've chosen that card freely.I do not have a set of lock picks lodged in my keister.
这张牌是你随便抽的哦 我的屁眼里可没夹着开锁工具哦
Can't you just enjoy the wonder, Sheldon?Why must you peek behind the curtain? 干吗一定要窥探揭秘呢 Or up the butt?
你就不能享受一下奇迹的瞬间吗 谢尔顿 或是窥探人家的屁屁
If we poison the critical thinking faculties of children by telling them that rabbits come out of hats, then we create adults who believe in astrology and homeopathy and that Ryan Reynolds was a better choice for Green Lantern than lovable rogue Nathan Fillion.
跟小朋友说 帽子里变出了兔子 将会荼毒他们的批判性思维能力 他们成年后会相信占星术和顺势疗法 导致瑞安·雷诺兹就因此比 卖萌小混混 内森·菲利安更适合演《绿灯侠》
Sheldon,he's just gonna do a few magic tricks for some kids.I really don't think they're gonna end up liking the Green Lantern movie.
谢尔顿 他只不过是给孩子们表演一点魔术而已 不会害那些孩子长大变成 喜欢雷诺兹版《绿灯侠》的白痴
Don't be so hard on him. It's natural to be a little cranky when you have...a quarter in your ear!
别对他这么凶嘛 他这么烦躁有情可原 因为他... 耳朵里有25美分
Coins lodged in body parts is not a source of amusement.When I was five, Billy Sparks put a Mexican peso up my nose.
硬币塞在别人身上一点都不好笑 我五岁时 比利·斯巴克斯将一枚 墨西哥比索塞进了我的鼻子
Waitwaitwait, how is that not amusing?
等一下 这哪里不好笑啊
It's still there.
到现在还没弄出来
Takes me 45 minutes to get through airport security.
害我每次要耗费45分钟才能过机场安检
Look, I made Sheldon disappear. Tada.
瞧 我把谢尔顿给变没了
Next time, you should open with that.
下次就用把他变不见为开场吧
Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion tarted.Wait...
我们的宇宙进入了极热的高浓度状态，后来，140亿年前它开始扩张。等等……
The Earth began to cool,the autotrophs began to drool,neanderthals developed tools, we built a wall (we built the pyramids),
地球开始冷却，自养生物开始繁殖,穴居人学会使用工具，我们开始建墙（我们还建了金字塔）
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,That all started with the big bang!bang!
数学、科学、历史解开了宇宙之谜。这一切从宇宙大爆炸开始。
Ooh, look who's out on a date.Pasadena's favorite power couple, Shamy.
哎呀 那边在约会的是谁啊 是帕萨迪纳市的超人气金童玉女 谢米组合
And that is the answer to the question,what is wrong with eating at The Cheesecake Factory?
她刚才回答之前的那问题了 为什么来芝士蛋糕工厂吃饭是错误的选择
So, are we celebrating anything special tonight?
今晚是有值得特别庆祝的事情吗
Oh, yes.
是的
Our relationship agreement specifies that the second Thursday of every month, or the third Thursday in a month with five Thursdays,is date night.
我们的恋爱协议明确规定了每个月的第二个星期四 如一个月有五个周四 则第三个星期四 便是约会之夜
That is so hot.
好一段热情如火的感情啊
All right, without objection, the minutes of the previous date are considered read and agreed to.
好了 如无异议 上一次约会的概要记录就算是已经阅毕并同意通过了
Any new business?
有什么新事宜吗
How was your day?
你今天过得怎么样
Superb.This morning I made a palindrome with my AlphaBits.Nice hat, Bob Tahecin.
棒极了 今天早上我用字母麦片 拼成一句回文 宝宝帽子毛宝宝
Sounds like you hit the ground running.
听起来你过得挺不错
I have a bit of good news myself.
我自己有一件好消息
My most recent paper on how a cooperative longterm potentiation can map memory sequences in dendritic branches made the cover of Neuron.
我最近撰写的论文 主题是协同性长时程增强 何以找出神经元树突的记忆序列 成功上了《神经元》杂志封面了
Ooh! Speaking of good news,somebody...just hit 100 Twitter followers.
哦 说到好消息 人家刚刚有了一百名推特粉丝哦
That's nice.Anyway, I've been dreaming of this day for a long time.
真好总之 我一直梦想着这一天的到来已经很久很久了
Yeah, me, too.Triple digits, I'm not gonna lie it feels pretty good.
对啊我也是 三位数的粉丝啊 不骗你 这感觉太爽了
Sheldon, I'm the sole author on a paper being published in a distinguished journal that may change the course of my field.
谢尔顿 我以唯一作者的身份在着名期刊上发表了 自己的论文 而且有可能改变 我研究的这个科学领域
Ooh, 101!Air's getting a bit thin up here.
哎哟 101个了 兴奋得都有些喘不过来气了
So, are we ready to order?
那么 准备好点菜了吗
Give me a minute.I'm gonna go wash up.
稍等一下 我去整理一下仪容
Well, that's odd.We both washed up when we came in.
好奇怪 我们明明进来时就一起去了
It's probably a euphemism for urination.
大概是排尿的委婉说法吧
Sheldon, what is wrong with you?
谢尔顿 你有毛病啊
Not much. Although, I can be faulted for being overly fond of koala bears.I don't know what it is,when they start munching on eucalyptus,I just melt inside.
没大有 当然 要说缺点的话 我就是太过于喜欢考拉熊了 我也不知道怎么回事 每当看到它们在桉树上大嚼特嚼时 我整个人都融化了
Okay, Amy just told you some exciting news,and you acted like it was no big deal.
艾米刚告诉你一个好消息 而你却表现得毫不在乎
Oh, I see why you're confused.No, her news sounded important, but what you're forgetting is,it was an achievement in the field of biology.
我知道你为什么会困惑 她的消息听上去很重要 可你忘了 那是生物学领域的成就
That's all about yucky, squishy things.
都是恶心黏黏的东西
Honey, she's upset. You're her boyfriend.You have to at least try to be excited by the things she's excited by.
亲爱的 她生气了 你是他男朋友 你至少也该试着 为她高兴的事而高兴吧
What if they simply don't excite me?
如果我就是高兴不起来呢
Well, just smile and think about koalas.
那就想想考拉 然后笑一个
She'd see right through that.We go to the zoo all the time.She knows my koala face.
她立马就能识破 我们经常去动物园 她知道我看考拉的脸
And for future reference, it's this.
以备将来参考 就是这样
Oh, you have a lot of magic stuff.
你有这么多魔术道具啊
Yeah.I started when I was a teenager.I thought I could show a girl a few tricks and invite her up to my bedroom to see the rest of the act.
对 我十几岁就开始玩魔术 当年觉得可以先用小魔术泡妞 再邀请她来房里看更多"好戏"
Did it work?
有用吗
Ah, let's just say the only wand that ever saw any action was this one.
这么说吧 唯一一"根"有看到好戏的"棒子" 是这根
Oh, look what my mom made us for the act.
看我妈为我们的表演做的
I like the fabric.Where'd she get it?
这布料不错啊 她从哪得来的
Well, she cut up one of her old bathing suits.
她把一条旧泳衣剪了
She made these two vests and half a dozen napkins.
她做了这两件背心和六张餐巾
Has she tried on the vest yet?!
她试了背心吗
I just gave it to her!
我刚拿给她
I hope it fits she has a tricky figure!
希望能合身 她身材不好量
She's short and stacked, like me!
跟我一样又矮又巨乳
She's not stacked like you, Ma! She never steps on hers!
她才不算巨乳 老妈 她不会踩到自己的胸
Listen, Howie, maybe I'm not the best choice to be a magician's assistant.
华仔 我可能不太适合 当魔术师助手
You'll do fine. Hand me those rings?
你肯定行 把那些环递给我
See? You nailed it.
瞧 你做得多好
You know, iit's just that I'm not that comfortable with little kids.
我只是不太喜欢跟小孩子在一起
Well, that's because you haven't been around them much. This is good practice. I mean,you are gonna be a mom someday, right?
那是因为你很少跟他们玩 这是练习的好机会 你总有一天要做妈妈的嘛
Yeah, sure.
这倒是
I haven't seen this trick in years.It's called the dove pan.
我好久没看过这个了 这叫鸽子锅
You let everyone see the pan is empty,but there's a secret compartment in the lid.And then you open it and produce a live...
先让观众看锅是空的 但其实盖子里有个暗格 然后打开变出一个活的...
Don't look in there.
千万别看里面
Oh, a little Red Dead Redemption, huh?
在玩死亡救赎呢
Yes.
对
How come you're not doing a mission?You're just wandering around.
你怎么不做任务啊 只在那闲逛
Had a rough night.I thought I'd go for a walk and clear my head.
今晚被郁闷了 我想散散步 清静一下
Some people go outside and do that.
正常人会出门散步
It's after 9:00 at this hour the streets of Pasadena are teeming with drunken sailors and alley cats.
已经过九点了 这时候的帕萨迪纳街头 到处是喝醉的水手和野猫
You want to talk about it?
要不要谈一谈
No.I think I'll just go in this saloon and drink my troubles away.
不要 我还是进这家酒馆 借酒浇愁吧
You know digital alcohol is never a solution.
电子酒精是解决不了问题的
What's going on?
出什么事了
Hard as this may be to believe,it's possible that I'm not boyfriend material.
说出来也没人信 我可能不是当男朋友的料
Glad I was sitting down for that.
幸好我是坐着听的啊
Did you and Amy get in a fight?
你跟艾米吵架啦
Amy had a fight; I was being perfectly reasonable.
艾米在吵 我可通情达理了
I'm gonna have a whiskey.Do you want anything?
我要喝杯威士忌 你要喝点什么吗
No, I can't.I'm playing Grand Theft Auto later.
不行 酒后不能开车 我一会儿还要玩侠盗猎车手呢
Look, I'm no expert in women...
我虽然不懂女人
I'll say.
同意
That's not necessary when someone's trying to help you.
人家好心帮你 没必要这么损我吧
I'm sorry. It's the alcohol talking. Go on.
对不起 酒后胡话 你接着说
Sometimes with women you want to listen to what upsets them and then show them that you can grow and change.
有时候 你得倾听女人的烦心事 然后让她们知道你能成长和改变
Nuts to that. What else you got?
屁话 还有别的招吗
I don't know what to tell you.Buy her something.
我不知道怎么跟你说 买礼物给她呗
How does that work?
这有什么用
Well, you skip over any attempt to repair your emotional connection and you win back her affection with an empty financial gesture.
略过任何修复感情的手段 直接用撒钱来赢回她的爱
Well, that approach has Sheldon Cooper written all over it.
这方法完全是我谢尔顿·库珀的作风
Glad I could help.
不用谢我
It's appreciated.And if you ever manage to find a woman again,I'll be glad to return the favor.
要谢谢你 如果你这辈子能再找到一个女人 我也很乐意回报你
