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《生活大爆炸》第十季:第1集:吵闹的婚礼(上)

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2018年06月27日

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生活大爆炸第十季

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Previously on The Big Bang Theory...

前情提要...
This is Sheldon's mother Mary.
这是Sheldon的妈妈,Mary
How do you do?
你好
Nice to meet you.
很高兴见到你
And, of course, Mom.
还有,当然啦,妈妈
Hello, my hateful shrew.
你好,可恨的悍妇
Hello to you, you wrinkled old bastard.
你好,老王八
Hey.Just got an email from the U.S. Air Force.
嘿。我刚刚收到了美国空军发来的邮件
I'm just afraid if I respond, then they'll know I got it.
我害怕,如果我回复了,他们就会知道我收到了
Dude, the minute you opened that email, they knew you got it.
哥们,当你打开邮件的时候,他们就知道你收到了
I mean, they're probably looking at you through the camera right now.Oh, God.
他们可能正在通过摄像头看你。天啊
I think someone's following us.
我觉得有人在跟踪我们
Uh, turn left here and see if he turns with us.
在这里左转,看看会不会跟着我们
Why is he turning here? The restaurant's the other way.
为什么在这里转弯?餐厅在另一个方向
I don't know. He uses that traffic app.
我也不知道,他有查路况的手机软件
Maybe there's an accident.
也许前面有事故
Oh, so follow him. Oh, no!
那就跟着他。别啊!
Leonard, if you don't mind,I think I'm a little tired.
Leonard如果不介意的话我有点累了
I'm gonna call it a night.Sure, Dad.
今晚就到这儿吧。好的,老爸
I'm a little tuckered out myself.
我累坏了
Well, I will see you all in the morning.
大家明天早上见吧
Would you like to share a cab?
要一起坐车吗?
That would be fine.
好啊
Where are you staying? I'm at the Westin.
你住哪儿? 威斯汀饭店
Well, so am I.
我也是
Could I interest you in a nightcap?
要一起喝一杯吗?
I think that you could.
好主意
Leonard? Leonard? What?
嘿,Leonard?Leonard你醒着吗?怎么了?
You realize you and I could become brothers.
你有没有觉得我们可能会变成兄弟
We're not gonna be brothers.
我们不会变成兄弟的
We're not gonna be stepbrothers.
我妈妈也不会给你当后妈
Go to sleep. I hope you're right.
快睡吧。但愿如此
Because a grown man living with his brother and his brother's wife is weird.
毕竟一个大男人,和他的哥哥嫂子同住实在太诡异了
Go to sleep.Okay.
赶紧睡吧。好啵
Do you think your father's doing unspeakable things to my mother?No.
你觉得你爸和我妈,会不会正在做羞羞的事情?不会
Are you saying that because the things are unspeakable?
你这么说是不是因为这是一件羞羞的事情?
Your parents are old.
你们的父母都老了
Anything unspeakable was finished by 9:30.
他们应该九点半之前就做完羞羞的事情了
Go to sleep. Very well.
赶紧睡吧。好吧
I'm sorry if this stuff is gonna make the ceremony awkward.
对不起啊,我也没想到婚礼之前会发生这么奇葩的事
God, I thought my brother fresh out of jail was gonna make everyone uncomfortable,
天啊,我还以为我哥哥刚从监狱出来这件事会让大家觉得尴尬
but now this... Hey, if you want me to sleep
不过现在...喂,要是你们想让我睡觉的话
you're gonna have to stop talking.
就别再说话了
Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state
宇宙一度又烫又稠密,
* Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait!
140亿年前终于爆了炸...等着瞧!
The Earth began to cool
地球开始降温,
The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools
自养生物来起哄,穴居人发明工具,
We built the Wall We built the pyramids
我们建长城,我们建金字塔,
Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery
数学,自然科学,历史,揭开神秘,
* That all started with a big bang
一切由大爆炸开始,
Okay, I'm gonna go pick up my family.
我现在去接我家人
Like an hour and half, two hours, depending on traffic.
估计得一个半小时或者两个小时,看堵不堵车了
Yeah, drive safe. Oh, hey,
路上注意安全,好哒
and do yourself a favor, all right?
哦对了,先跟你俩说好
When Beverly gets here, do not bring up last night. Beverly
过来之后,谁都别提昨晚的事
All right? As far as you're concerned,
懂我意思?要装作
you don't know anything,
你们什么都不知道的样子
you didn't see anything.
你们什么都没看见
I want you just to play dumb.
假装自己是白痴就好
It was nice of her to show us playing dumb with an example.
其实她亲自给我们示范一下什么是白痴,也挺好的
What? Oh.
你说什么?呃
Hi. Okay, hey there, I got... I'm sorry, I got to go now.
嗨!那个,我..不好意思我得走了
Penny, wait. Why? Penny
你等等,怎么了?
I wanted to thank you for going through all the trouble
很感谢你不怕麻烦
of planning a second wedding ceremony for me,
特意为我重新举办了婚礼
but unfortunately I cannot attend.
但可惜我不想参加了
Well, why? What's wrong?
为什么?怎么了
Wha... are we still doing the dumb thing?
什么...我们还在假装白痴吗?
Okay, why, what's wrong?
好吧,为什么?怎么了?
I just cannot stay here while your father
我实在受不了你爸了
goes out of his way to humiliate me.
他这么羞辱我实在是太过分了
Oh, golly, however did he humiliate you?
哪有啊,他怎么羞辱你了?
Stop it, Sheldon.
别闹了,Sheldon
Do I say "Stop what?" Or just throw in the towel?
我是应该说"我没闹"?还是可以不用再装了?
I don't see why I should have to watch your father
我不懂,我何苦要看着你爸
parade around with some Biblethumping bumpkin.
对着一个满脑子圣经的村姑献殷勤
Oh, excuse me, that is my mother you're talking about,
不好意思,打断一下,虽然你说的都对
however accurately.
但那是我妈啊
Okay, Beverly,
好了,Beverly
aren't you overreacting a little?
你太激动了吧?
All we know is they shared a cab and had a nightcap.
他们只不过是一起坐了出租车,一起喝了一杯而已
And turned their phones off.
还都把手机关了
Not helping, buddy.
别帮倒忙了!
Mother, Penny and I really want you to be part of this.
妈,Penny和我都非常希望你来参加这次婚礼
Please stay.
拜托了
Yeah, plus if you leave,
是啊,而且如果你走了的话
Alfred will know he got under your skin.
Alfred就会知道你在乎了
Well, we can't have that.
有道理,这可不行
You know, also, if they did have coitus,
还有啊,他们要是真的性接触了的话
we'll all be needing a skilled psychiatrist.
我们就真的需要一个专业的精神科医生了
It is funny when you think about it.
仔细想想这事还挺好玩的
Maybe to you.
我可没觉得
You didn't get a $500 traffic ticket.
你是没收到500刀的罚单
Because you were driving like a lunatic.
谁让你开车的时候像个疯子似的
Hey, if thinking secret government agents
以为特工在追你也能被你讲成疯子的话
are chasing you makes you a lunatic, then... yeah, okay.
那...好吧,随便你怎么说吧
Oh, I'll get it.
我去开门
It didn't help that you couldn't walk a straight line
交警抓到你的时候,你都的走不了直线了
when the cop pulled you over.
谁也救不了你啊
I have performance anxiety.
我怯场啊
You of all people should know that.Hello.
你最应该知道了,(偶尔怯场表现在性方面)您好
I'm looking for Howard Wolowitz.Howard Wolowitz?
我想找Howard Wolowitz。找Howard Wolowitz?
I have the right address, don't I?
Address? Is he here?
Um... no.
这地址应该没错吧?地址?他在这里吗?呃...不在
Do you know where I can find him?
你知道怎么联系他吗?
May I ask what this is about?
我能问下您找他有什么事吗?
No, you may not.Very well.
我不能告诉你。好吧
Have him call me.Okay.
让他给我打电话。好的
Raj, who's at the door?
Raj是谁啊?
That's not him.
那不是Howard
Oh, I can't wait for you to meet everyone.
啊,我都等不及让你见见大家了
I told them all about you. Like what?
我跟他们说了好多你的事。比如?
Do they know about your brother?
他们知道你哥哥的事吗?
Uh, not everything, just, like, the jail and drugs part.
呃,也不是什么都说啦,就说点像监狱啊,毒品啊之类的事
Why would you do that?
你为什么要说这些?
What? The world doesn't need
怎么了?你用不着让全世界都知道
to know our problems.
我们的生活一塌糊涂吧
Well, Mom, I'm sorry, but...
好吧,算我不对,但是...
Hey, look, they got Walgreens here, too.
嘿,看啊,他们这也有Walgreens超市呢
You really think it's helpful to change the subject, Wyatt?
你真觉得换话题有用吗,Wyatt?
Just trying to make this a happy trip, dear.
亲爱的,我只是想让路上这段时间过得开心点嘛
Well, quit it!
想都别想了!
So, uh, Randall, can't believe after all these years you finally get to visit me in California.
那个,Randall没想到这么多年过去,你终于有机会来加州看我了
Well, good thing I was a nonviolent offender,otherwise I couldn't have left the state.
是啊,幸好我是非暴力罪犯不然的话我都不能离开本州
All right, that's enough jail talk.
好吧,别再说监狱的事了
Penny knows where I was; she sent me cigarettes.
Penny知道我在那,她还给我送过烟呢
You sent your brother cigarettes?
你给你哥哥寄烟?
He was cooking and selling crystal meth, Susan,
他可是制毒贩毒小能手,苏珊
I think we can let the cigarettes slide.
烟什么的就不要提了吧
Stop trying to be the cool dad;
别一直在这里唱红脸
you have a shirt with our cat's picture on it.
你可是有一件画着家里的猫的T恤呢
Anyway, we're here, slugger.
既来之则安之吧
That's great, now they know where I live.
这下好了,现在他们知道我住的地方了
What are you talking about?
你在说什么呢?
They've always known where you live.
他们一直都知道你住在哪儿
Yeah, if you want to go off the grid,
你如果不想被找到的话
you have to move out of your mother's house.
非得搬回你妈妈的房子里不可了
Can we take a moment to discuss
我们能讨论讨论刚刚我为了你
that I just lied to the government for you? Yeah.
对政府工作人员撒谎的事情吗?好啊
I would not have done that for you.
我反正是不会为你做到这种程度的
Howard, please just call the man, see what he wants. Howard
就直接打过去问问他想干嘛吧
All right, all right.
好吧,好吧
Hey,make sure you tell him that you weren't home when he came by
对了,一定要说,他来的时候你不在家
and that your Indian friend gave you the message
是你的印度朋友在你一进家门
the moment you stepped through the door. Yes, hello. Uh,
就把消息转达给你了。喂,你好
this is Howard Wolowitz for Colonel Richard Williams.
我是Howard Wolowitz给Richard Williams上校回电话
Oh, I take it back, don't mention me.
我收回刚才的话,别提到我
Hi, Colonel Williams, how can I help you?
你好,Willians上校,我能为您做点什么?
What? Oh, uh, yes, he is from India.
什么?对,他是印度人
No, I don't know his immigration status.
不,我不知道他的移民身份
Relax, I'm still on hold!Speaking.
淡定,我还在等着转接!我在
Okay, sure, I can meet with you on Thursday.
好的,我可以在星期四去找你
Caltech is fine.
就定在加州理工吧
Yeah, and may I ask what this is about?
我能问问这次会面是关于什么事吗?
I may not?
不行?
That's what he said to me.
他也是这么跟我说的
Here you are, Mother.Thank you.
给你,妈妈。谢谢
I'm glad you decided to stay.
我很高兴你决定留下来
It's gonna be special for Penny and me to share this with you.
你的出席对我和Penny来说很特别
I can't wait for this day to be over.
我在这真是度日如年
Yeah, special, like that.
是啊,特别得不行
That's them.
他们来了
Please don't make things any more awkward than they already are.
千万不要把事情弄得比现在更尴尬了
All right, so less or equally awkward, got it.
那就是尴尬程度小于等于目前状态,明白
Hey, guys, come on in.
嘿,快进来
Oh, thank you. Good morning. Morning. Hello.
谢谢,早上好啊。早,你好
How is everyone today?
大家今天过得好吗?
Good, and you?
很好,你呢?
Good, good. Good.I'm good, too.Good.
不错,不错。我也不错当然了
So, did you defile my mother or not? Sheldon!
你有没有玷污了我妈妈?Sheldon啊!
You're being rude.
你太没礼貌了
If I may, I can assure you,your mother and I did nothing more than share a cab and a conversation.
我向你保证你妈妈和我除了拼车和聊天之外什么都没做
Did that conversation include the phrase
你们的谈话里有没有涉及到
"Your genitals are a joy to behold"? That's enough!
"你下面的温柔乡真好看"之类的?够了!
Look, I promise you, neither I, nor anyone, has ever said that.
我保证,没有任何人说过这种话
You don't know his girlfriend very well.
那是因为你不认识他女朋友
Or what a joy it is to behold my genitals.
也没看过我的温柔乡
All right, you guys, uh, get settled in,
好了,你们先收拾收拾
then we'll go across the hall and say hi to everyone.
然后我们就去对面和他们打个招呼
You know, It's hard to believe I've never met Leonard.
真是难以相信我竟然从来没见过Leonard
Well, he probably buys his illegal drugs
这个嘛,大概是他买小药丸
from a local vendor.
都是找当地毒贩子吧
Not funny, Wyatt.
这不好笑,Wyatt
I thought it was really funny. Thanks.
我觉得还不错啊,谢谢
Well, fine, if everyone wants to make jokes about our problems,
好吧,如果你们都想拿我们的家丑来开玩笑的话
then I can, too.
我奉陪到底
Knock, knock. Who's there?
咚咚,谁啊?
Our family is an embarrassment.
我家就是个笑话
That's not much of a joke. Okay.
这不算笑话,好了
Listen, Mom, I know you're nervous, but I promise you,
妈妈,我知道你很不安,但我保证
no one is gonna judge you or this family. Oh, I'm sorry.
没有人会对你或这个家说三道四的。对不起
It's just we're meeting Leonard's parents
但这毕竟是我们和Leonard父母的
for the first time,
第一次见面
and... and they're academics and... and intellectuals,
他们都是搞学术的高级知识分子
and I don't want them thinking we're white trash.
我不希望他们觉得我们是白人败类
Well, what color trash do you think they'll believe?
那你还指望他们觉得我们是哪个人种的败类?
How could you think that I would spend the night
为什么你觉得我会和一个刚认识的男人
with a man I just met?
共度春宵呢?
A man named Jesus convinced you to build a church in Africa.
谁知道呢,毕竟一个叫耶稣的人说服了你去非洲建教堂
You're kind of a sucker.
你太弱了
Well, nothing happened, right?
什么都没发生,对吧?
I... It's over.
一切都结束了
Until we get married a third time,
除非我们结第三次婚
you guys will never have to see each other again.
否则你们俩都不用再见到对方了
Well, you know, actually that's not the case.
这个嘛,实际上不是这样的
Mary may visit me in New York. Mmhmm.
Mary应该会来纽约看我,没错
And he's never been to Texas.
你爸爸也从没去过德州
Maybe we meet halfway.
我们可以半路上见
What? In the Chattahoochee National Forest in Georgia?
什么?在乔治亚的查塔胡奇国家森林里吗?

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