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“凹凸有致的寡妇”:68岁,约会六个男人

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2017年09月26日

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At 68, Bobby Goldman has found herself in the unexpected position of recommending adult toys to strangers.

68岁的鲍比·戈德曼(Bobby Goldman)落入了一个出乎意料的境地——向陌生人推荐成人玩具。

She has written the book for the new musical, “Curvy Widow,” based on her experiences in the post-bereavement dating pool, at the Westside Theater. In it, the character of Bobby grapples with being single in her 60s (incognito trips to buy condoms) in today’s landscape (casually-sent graphic photos).

她根据自己丧偶后约会的经历写了一本书,其改编音乐剧《凹凸有致的寡妇》(Curvy Widow)新近在西区剧院(Westside Theater)上演。其中,鲍比,一个在花甲之年努力应对单身生活的人物(乔装打扮去买避孕套),被放置到了当下的场景里(随随便便就会发露骨的照片给人看)。

The play’s frank talk about sex during one’s later years invites audience members to share their own laughs and frustrations, as Ms. Goldman explained during a trip to Babeland, a sex-toy shop in Manhattan, last month.

这是一出坦率探讨暮年性爱的剧,邀请观众分享他们的欢笑和烦恼,上个月,戈德曼在去往曼哈顿性爱玩具用品店宝贝之国(Babeland)的路上解释道。

“I thought I was writing a funny little sex show. I had no idea people were going to come to me with tears in their eyes,” she said. To one woman who confessed her fear of sex, Ms. Goldman recounted telling her, “You need a good gynecologist, and you need a vibrator.”

“我觉得自己就是写了一个好玩的小小性爱秀。没想到人们看过之后会流着眼泪来找我,”她说。一个女人向她坦陈自己对性爱的恐惧,戈德曼说,自己当时是这么对她说的,“你需要一个好的妇科医生,还有一个振动器。”

Eyeing one apparatus at the store that looked like a spineless cactus, she said, “It’s going to fall out or do something peculiar.”

在商店里,她看到一个装置,长得有点像软体仙人掌,她说:“它可能会掉下来,或者干些奇奇怪怪的事情。”

Ms. Goldman was married to the playwright and screenwriter James Goldman, who won an Oscar for “The Lion in Winter.” His death in 1998 flattened Ms. Goldman. Her therapist’s advice? Have sex, as his character recommends in the show.

戈德曼的丈夫是戏剧电影编剧詹姆斯·戈德曼(James Goldman),曾因《冬狮》(The Lion in Winter)的剧本获得奥斯卡奖。1998年,他的逝世击垮了戈德曼,她的心理医生给了什么意见?做爱,剧中心理医师的角色也是这么建议的。

After a frustrating year on Match.com — “The type of man who’s on it and of a certain age shouldn’t be on anything,” Ms. Goldman said — she stumbled upon Ashley Madison, the site specializing in extramarital encounters. Her profile, with the handle “Curvy Widow,” netted over a hundred responses on the first night.

戈德曼在相亲网站Match.com上花费了令人沮丧的一年时间——“那个网站上某个年龄段的男人根本就不应该登录这类网站,”戈德曼说——后来她偶然发现了专门撮合婚外情的网站Ashley Madison。她在简介中为自己冠以“凹凸有致的寡妇”这个名号,第一天晚上就吸引了一百多个回复。

A friend at Random House urged her to chronicle her adventures. “They said, ‘What are you doing since Jim is dead?’ and I said, ‘I’m dating a lot of wealthy, successful, married men from a sex site.’ They thought it was funny, and next thing I know I’m writing it,” she said.

兰登书屋(Random House)的一个朋友敦促她记录自己的历险。“他们说,‘吉姆死后你在做什么?’我说:‘我通过一个性爱网站约会了很多富裕、成功的已婚男人。’他们觉得这很有趣,接下来,我就开始写这个了,”她说。

During the talkback following that afternoon’s matinee, the audience was largely older and female. “I liked the message that it’s O.K. to be independent,” one woman said.

某天,在下午场之后参加对话的观众大部分年龄较大,以女性居多。“我喜欢这个剧传达的观念,就是说独立是好事,”一个女人说。

“I had a construction company; my clients were mostly men,” Ms. Goldman replied. “Since ‘Curvy,’ I’ve developed girlfriends. For the first time, I have girl lunches and girl brunches. It’s been terrific. I love men deeply, but they’re simple folk.”

“我有一家建筑公司;我的客户大多是男人,”戈德曼回答。“自从《凹凸有致的寡妇》之后,我开始有了女朋友。我第一次开始同女人们共进午餐和早午餐。这真的很棒。我深深地爱着男人,但他们都是简单的人。”

The female audience members murmured in agreement.

女性观众们低声表示同意。

“Women are strategic,” Ms. Goldman went on.“We will stay up, watch them breathe and look for kitchen knives.”

“女人都深谋远虑,”戈德曼继续说道,“我们晚上不睡觉,看着他们呼吸,寻找着厨刀。”

They laughed — hard.

她们笑了——放声大笑。

Drew Brody, who wrote the music and lyrics for “Curvy Widow,” recalled in an interview that he had been looking for new collaborators when he heard about Ms. Goldman. “Aaron Lustbader, who’s now the general manager of the show, said to me, ‘I have someone interesting for you to meet,’ which was the understatement of the century,” Mr. Brody said.

为《凹凸有致的寡妇》创作了音乐和歌词的德鲁·布洛迪(Drew Brody)在接受采访时回忆,自己当时一直在寻找新的合作者,后来就听说了戈德曼。“如今担任这部剧总经理的亚伦·拉斯特巴德(Aaron Lustbader)对我说,‘我安排了一个有意思的人给你见见,’这话简直是太轻描淡写了,”布洛迪说。

“For the first time in musical theater history, we had to make a character smaller for the stage,” he added.

“这是音乐剧史上的第一次,为了适应舞台,我们不得不让角色变得不那么夸张一点,”他补充说。

Ms. Goldman sent Mr. Brody a manuscript of “Curvy Widow” as a writing sample. “I called her and said, ‘You know this is a musical, right?’” he said. “She hung up on me.” Eventually he convinced her. “These stories are not being told, about older women being allowed to have a sexual appetite.”

戈德曼把《凹凸有致的寡妇》的手稿拿给布洛迪作为剧本样本。“我给她打电话说,‘你知道这是一出音乐剧,对吧?’他说。‘她听了就摔了我电话。’”后来他终于说服了她。“这些关于老年女性也可以有性欲的故事,都是以前没有人讲过的。”

Nancy Opel, who plays Bobby in the show — bedding the male ensemble, wrestling with a hormone ring and singing a ballad from a bathroom floor — said by phone that she was drawn to the idea of “a woman of a certain age who’s actually embarking on romance.”

饰演鲍比的演员是南希·奥佩尔(Nancy Opel),在剧中,她和一大堆男人上床,奋力处理激素环的问题,坐在浴室的地上唱歌——在接受电话采访时,她说,“一个到了特定年龄的女人其实才开始浪漫之旅,”这个想法吸引了她。

“Nobody writes shows about 50-, 60-year-old women, unless they’re crazy or terrible or drunk,” Ms. Opel said.

“没有人会为五六十岁的女人写剧本,除非她们疯狂、可怕或者酗酒,”奥佩尔说。

As in the musical, Ms. Goldman sold the penthouse she shared with Mr. Goldman and moved to a Midtown loft. In her previous life, she prepared six formal dinners a week for the likes of Audrey Hepburn and Sean Connery. “This morning I had Cheetos,” she said. The rare night she’s not at the theater or with a date, she watches MSNBC, “Law & Order” or anything with Vin Diesel in it.

和剧中一样,戈德曼出售了她曾与丈夫居住的顶楼豪华公寓,搬进了中城的一个大开间寓所里。在此前的人生中,她每周要准备六顿正式的晚餐,款待奥黛丽·赫本(Audrey Hepburn)和肖恩·康奈利(Sean Connery)之类客人。“今天早上我吃奇多芝士条当早餐,”如今的她说。晚上她一般不是去剧院就是去约会,少有的在家时光,她会看MSNBC台的电视剧《法律与秩序》(Law & Order),或者有范·迪塞尔(Vin Diesel)出演的任何影视剧。

These days, Ms. Goldman is dating six men, five married, one separated. “It’s a nice number,” she said in a cab downtown after the talkback. “They can’t see you very often. It works out to about one date a week.”

最近,戈德曼约会了六个男人,五个已婚,一个单身。“这个数字很不错,”她在从市中心返回的出租车上说。“他们不可能经常见你。算下来一周大概约会一次。”

Married men, she says, are more compatible with her lifestyle. She doesn’t bother herself with moral implications.

她说,已婚的男人更符合她的生活方式。由此带出的道德问题是她不在意的。

“I care for them, but I’m very pragmatic,” she said later at Nomo Kitchen, as she wolfed down the cacio e pepe. “You’re married; I’m not looking to do anything other than have an enjoyable evening with you. I don’t text you. I don’t call you. That would be wrong.”

“我在乎他们,但我非常务实,”后来,她来到诺莫厨房餐厅,一边大吃奶酪胡椒意面一边说。“你已经结婚了;除了和你一起度过一个愉快的夜晚,我不想做任何事情。我不会给你发短信。我不会给你打电话。那是不对的。”

These relationships are not just about sex, she clarified. “I was injured nine months ago, and I couldn’t walk. Every single one of them showed up to my house and made sure there was food in the refrigerator. Men want to take care.”

这些关系不仅仅是和性有关,她澄清说。“九个月前我受伤了,没法走路。他们每个人都出现在我家,确认冰箱里有食物。男人都想照顾人。”
 


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