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老友记第一季The One With George Stephanopoulos

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The One With George Stephanopoulos

[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there except Joey.]

Monica: Alright. Phoebe?

Phoebe: Okay, okay. If I were omnipotent for a day, I would want, um, world peace, no more hunger, good things for the rain-forest...And bigger boobs!

Ross: Yeah, see.. you took mine. Chandler, what about you?

Chandler: Uh, if I were omnipotent for a day, I'd.. make myself omnipotent forever.

Rachel: See, there's always one guy. (Mocking) "If I had a wish, I'd wish for three more wishes." (Joey enters.)

All: Hey Joey. Hi. Hey, buddy.

Monica: Hey, Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?

Joey: Probably kill myself!

Monica: ..Excuse me?

Joey: Hey, if Little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live!

Ross: Joey, uh- OMnipotent.

Joey: You are? Ross, I'm sorry..

Opening Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Monica are watching Phoebe sleep.]

Monica: How does she do that?

Ross: I cannot sleep in a public place.

Monica: Would you look at her? She is so peaceful.

Phoebe: (waking and startling them) Oh! What what what! ...Hi.

Ross: It's okay, y'know, you just nodded off again.

Monica: What's going on with you?

Phoebe: I got no sleep last night!

Ross: Why?

Phoebe: My grandmother has this new boyfriend, and they're both kind of insecure in bed. Oh, and deaf. So they're constantly, like, having to reassure each other that they're having a good time. You have no idea how loud they are!

Monica: Well, if you want, you can stay with Rachel and me tonight.

Phoebe: Thanks.

(Chandler and Joey enter. Joey is counting his steps.)

Joey: ...Ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-seven. See, I told you! Less than a hundred steps from our place to here.

Chandler: You got waaaay too much free time.

Joey: (to Ross) Hey! Here's the birthday boy! Ross, check it out: hockey tickets, Rangers-Penguins, tonight at the Garden, and we're taking you.

Chandler: Happy birthday, pal!

Joey: We love you, man. (Kisses Ross)

Ross: Funny, my birthday was seven months ago.

Joey: So?

Ross: So, I'm guessing you had an extra ticket and couldn't decide which one of you got to bring a date?

Chandler: Well, aren't we Mr. "The glass is half empty."

Ross: Oh my God, oh- is today the twentieth, October twentieth?

Monica: Oh, I was hoping you wouldn't remember.

Ross: Ohhh.

Joey: What's wrong with the twentieth?

Chandler: Eleven days before Halloween.. all the good costumes are gone?

Ross: Today's the day Carol and I first.. consummated our physical relationship. (Joey is puzzled.) Sex. ..You know what, I-I'd better pass on the game. I think I'm just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover.

Joey: The hell with hockey, let's all do that!

Chandler: (trying to stop Ross leaving) C'mon, Ross! You, me, Joey, ice, guys' night out, c'mon, whaddya say, big guy, (Pretending to punch him in the stomach.) Huh? Huh? Huh?

Ross: What are you doing?

Chandler: (stops) I have no idea.

Joey: C'mon, Ross!

Ross: Alright, alright, maybe it'll take my mind off it. Do you promise to buy me a big thumb finger?

Chandler: You got it.

(Rachel runs up cluching an envelope.)

Rachel: Look-look-look-look-look, my first pay check! Look at the window, there's my name! Hi, me!

Phoebe: I remember the day I got my first pay check. There was a cave in in one of the mines, and eight people were killed.

Monica: Wow, you worked in a mine?

Phoebe: I worked in a Dairy Queen, why?

Rachel: God, isn't this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally—(opens envelope)—not worth it. Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money? I mean, what- Chandler, look at that.

Chandler: (looking) Oh, this is not that bad.

Joey: Oh, you're fine, yeah, for a first job.

Ross: You can totally, totally live on this.

Monica: Yeah, yeah.

Ross: Oh, by the way, great service tonight.

All: Oh! Yeah!

(They all get their wallets out and give generous tips.)

Guys: Hockey! (They go to leave but are blocked by three of Rachel's friends, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne. The guys pause to stare at them.) Hockey! Hockey. (The guys.)

Leslie: (looking around) Rachel?

Rachel: Oh my God! (Rachel, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne all scream and hug each other.

Monica: (to Phoebe) I swear I've seen birds do this on Wild Kingdom.

Rachel: What are you guys doing here?

Kiki: Well, we were in the city shopping, and your mom said you work here, aaand it's true!

Joanne: Look at you in the apron. You look like you're in a play.

Rachel: (to a pregnant Leslie) Look at you, you are so big I can't believe it!

Leslie: I know. I know! I'm a duplex.

Rachel: (to Joanne) So what's going on with you?

Joanne: Well, guess who my dad's making partner in his firm? (She points to herself and they all scream again.)

Kiki: And while we're on the subject of news.. (She holds up here finger to show off her engagement ring and they all scream again.)

Phoebe: (to Monica) Look, look, I have elbows! (They scream.)

[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Joey are kicking a can to each other.]

Chandler: ...Poulet passes it up to Leetch! (Passes it to Joey.)

Joey: Leetch spots Messier in the crease- there's the pass! (He kicks it to Ross, but Ross is staring into a shop window.)

Chandler: We'll take a brief time out while Messier stops to look at some women's shoes.

Ross: Carol was wearing boots just like those the night that we- we first- y'know. Fact, she, uh- she never took'em off, 'cause we-we- (off Chandler's look) Sorry. Sorry.

(They walk on. Chandler and Joey start to talk but Ross stops and whines.)

Joey: What?

Ross: Peach pit.

Chandler: Yes, Bunny?

Ross: (points) Peach pit. That night we, uh- we had-

Joey: -Peaches?

Ross: Actually, nectarines, but basically...

Chandler: (to Joey) Could've been a peach.

Ross: Then, uh, then we got dressed, and I-I... I walked her to the- (looks up, realises, and points) -the bus stop... I'm fine.

Joey: Hey, that woman's got an ass like Carol's! (They turn to stare at him.) What? Thought we were trying to find stuff.

[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Lesile, Kiki, and Joanne are talking.]

Rachel: So c'mon, you guys, tell me all the dirt!

Kiki: Well, the biggest news is still you dumping Barry at the altar!

Joanne: Alright. Let's talk reality for a second.

Rachel: Okay.

Joanne: When are you coming home?

Rachel: What? Guys, I'm not.

Joanne: C'mon, this is us.

Rachel: I'm not! This is what I'm doing now. I've got this job-

Kiki: Waitressing?

Rachel: Okay, I'm not just waitressing. I'm.. I, um... I write the specials on the specials board, and, uh... and I, uh... I take the uh dead flowers out of the vase... Oh, and, um, sometimes Artelle lets me put the little chocolate blobbies on the cookies.

Leslie: Well. Your mom didn't tell us about the blobbies.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are in pajamas and Monica is making something in the blender as Rachel enters.]

Monica: Hey, Rach. How was it with your friends? (She and Phoebe scream.) Okay! How would you like some Tiki Death Punch? (She pours the contents of the blender into some glasses.)

Rachel: What's that?

Monica: Weeeell, it's rum, and-

Rachel: Okay. (Grabs the blender and starts to drink.)

Monica: We thought since Phoebe was staying over tonight we'd have kinda like a slumber party thing. We got some trashy magazines, we got cookie dough, we got Twister... (The phone rings and Monica answers it.)

Phoebe: Ooh! Ooh! And I brought Operation! But, um, I lost the tweezers, so we can't operate. But we can prep the guy!

Monica: Uh, Rach, it's the Visa card people.

Rachel: Oh, God, ask them what they want.

Monica: (on phone) Could you please tell me what this is in reference to? (Listens) Yes, hold on. (To Rachel) Um, they say there's been some unusual activity on your account.

Rachel: But I haven't used my card in weeks!

Monica: That is the unusual activity. Look, they just wanna see if you're okay.

Rachel: They wanna know if I'm okay. Okay.. they wanna know if I'm okay, okay, let's see. Well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married, or getting promoted, or getting pregnant, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me! So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay, then you can tell them I'm okay, okay?

Monica: (pauses then on the phone) Uh- Rachel has left the building, can you call back?

Rachel: Alright, c'mon! (Miserably) Let's play Twister!

[Scene: Madison Square Garden, the guys are trying to find their seats.]

Ross: (squeezing past people) Sorry, sorry... Uh-oh.

Chandler: What? There was ice there that night with Carol? Plastic seats? Four thousand angry Pittsburgh fans?

Ross: No, actually I was just saying it looks like we're not sitting together. But now you mention it, there was ice there that night... It was the first frost...

Joey: C'mon, sit. Just sit down, sit.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, they're all hanging out in the living room.]

Monica: You should feel great about yourself! You're doing this amazing independence thing!

Rachel: Monica, what is so amazing? I gave up, like, everything. And for what?

Phoebe: You are just like Jack.

Rachel: ...Jack from downstairs?

Phoebe: No, Jack and the Beanstalk.

Monica: Ah, the other Jack.

Phoebe: Yeah, right! See, he gave up something, but then he got those magic beans. And then he woke up, and there was this, this big plant outside his window, full of possibilities and stuff.. And he lived in a village, and you live in the Village..

Rachel: Okay, but Pheebs, Pheebs, Jack gave up a cow, I gave up an orthodontist. Okay, I-I-I know, I know I didn't love him-

Phoebe: Oh, see, Jack did love the cow.

Rachel: But see, it was a plan. Y'know, it was clear. It was figured out, and now everything's just kinda like...

Phoebe: Floopy?

Rachel: Yeah.

Monica: So what, you're not the only one. I mean, half the time we don't know where we're going. You've just gotta figure at some point it's all gonna come together, and it's just gonna be... un-floopy.

Phoebe: Oh, like that's a word.

Rachel: Okay, but Monica, what if- what if it doesn't come together?

Monica: ...Pheebs?

Phoebe: Oh, well... 'cause.... you just... I don't like this question.

Rachel: Okay, see, see, you guys, what if we don't get magic beans? I mean, what if all we've got are.. beans?

[Scene: Madison Square Garden, the guys are watching the game.]

Ross: Get him! GET HIM! Get him! Get- YESSS! Not laughing now, are ya pal!

Chandler: (to Ross) See buddy, that's all you need, a bunch of toothless guys hitting each other with sticks.

Ross: Pass it! Pass it!

Chandler: He's open!

All: Shoot! Shoot! Shoot!

(The player shoots and the puck flies off the rink and hits Ross in the face. Chandler looks concered until he notices...)

Chandler: Hey, look, we're on that TV thing!

(Chandler and Joey hold the puck and wave at the TV thing.)

Commercial Break

[Scene: An Emergency Room, Chandler and Joey are leading Ross in.]

Chandler: (to the receptionist)'Scuse me.

Receptionist: (holds up her hand—she is on the phone) It says to call this number if you're not completely satisfied with this candy bar. Well, I'm not completely satisfied.

Chandler: Listen, it's kind of an emergency. Well, I guess you know that, or we'd be in the predicament room. (The receptionist glares at him.)

Receptionist: (on phone) Hold on. (To Chandler) Fill these out, sit over there. (Tosses him some forms.)

Ross: (jumping to his feet) Look, I don't wanna make any trouble, okay, but I'm in a lot of pain here, alright? My face is dented.

Receptionist: Well, you'll have to wait your turn.

Joey: Well, how long do you think it'll be?

Receptionist: (sarcastic) Any minute now.

Ross: Hey, this- (she gives him a look and the guys back off) Heyy...

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the slumber party continues.]

Rachel: I'm so sorry, you guys. I didn't mean to bring you down.

Monica: No, you were right. I don't have a plan. (There's a knock on the door.)

Pizza Guy: (yelling from outside) Pizza guy!

Rachel: Thank God. Food. (She goes to answer the door.)

Monica: Phoebe?

Phoebe: What?

Monica: Do you have a plan?

Phoebe: I don't even have a 'pl'.

Pizza Guy: Hi, one, uh, mushroom, green pepper and onion?

Rachel: (miserably) No, no, that's not what we ordered... We ordered a fat-free crust with extra cheese.

Pizza Guy: Wait, you're not 'G.Stephanopoulos?' Man, my dad's gonna kill me!

Monica: (leaping off of the couch and runs up) Wait! Did you say 'G.Stephanopoulos?'

Pizza Guy: Yeah. This one goes across the street, I must have given him yours. Oh, bonehead, bonehead!

Monica: Wait, was this a-a small mediterranean guy with curiously intelligent good looks?

Pizza Guy: Yeah, that sounds about right.

Monica: Was he wearing a stunning blue suit?

Phoebe: And-and a power tie?

Pizza Guy: No, pretty much just a towel.

Monica: (staggered) Oh God.

Pizza Guy: So you guys want me to take this back?

Monica: Are you nuts?! We've got George Stephanopoulos' pizza! (Rachel pays him, Monica grabs some binoculars, and runs to the window.)

Rachel: Uh, Pheebs? Who's George Snuffalopagus?

Phoebe: Big Bird's friend.

Monica: I see pizza!

Phoebe: Oh, I wanna see! Lemme see! Lemme see! (She runs up and takes the binoculars.)

Rachel: Hello? Who are we spying on?

Monica: White House adviser? Clinton's campaign guy? The one with the great hair, sexy smile, really cute butt?

Rachel: Oh, him, the little guy? Oh, I love him!

Phoebe: Ooh, wait.. wait, I see a woman.

Monica: Please tell me it's his mother.

Phoebe: Definitely not his mother.

Monica: Oh, no...

Phoebe: Oh, wait, she's walking across the floor.. she's walking.. she's walking.. she's going for the pizza- (Yelling) Hey, that's not for you, bitch! (Phoebe covers her mouth with her hand walks away from the window.)

[Scene: The Emergency Room, Joey is miming hockey pucks kitting foreheads. Chandler realises it's getting tense and goes to the receptionist again.]

Chandler: Excuse me, look, we've been here for over an hour, and a lot of people less sick than my friend have gone in. I mean, that guy with the toe thing? Who's he sleeping with? (She slides the gladd panel over and Chandler talks through it in a loud voice.) Oh, c'mon Dora, don't be mad... I know we both said some things we didn't mean, but that doesn't mean we still don't love each other. (To the waiting room.) Y'know, I feel like I've lost her.. (She slides the panel back, he turns, and it takes him by surprise.) Ba-!

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are all out on the balcony.]

Monica: Light still out?

Rachel: Yeah.

Monica: Oh. Maybe they're- napping.

Rachel: Oh please, they're having sex.

Monica and Phoebe: Shut up!

Rachel: So, whaddya think George is like?

Monica: I think he's shy.

Phoebe: Yeah?

Monica: Yeah. I think you have to draw him out. And then- when you do- he's a preppy animal.

[Scene: The Emergency Room, Ross is still going on about his first night with Carol.]

Ross: I remember the moonlight coming through the window- and her face had the most incredible glow.

Chandler: Yes, the moon, the glow, the magical feeling, you did this part- Could I get some painkillers over here, please?

Joey: He's right, enough, already. What is the big deal about today? So you slept with her for the first time, so what? You slept with her for seven years after that.

Ross: Look, it's just a little more complicated...

Chandler: Well, what? What? What is it? That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you for another woman that likes women?

Ross: Little louder, okay, I think there's a man on the twelfth floor in a coma that didn't quite hear you...

Chandler: Then what?

Ross: My first time with Carol was... (He mumbles the last part)

Joey: What?

Ross: It was my first time.

Joey: With Carol? (Ross gives him a look.) Oh.

Chandler: So in your whole life, you've only been with one—(He gets a look too)—oh.

Joey: Whoah, boy, hockey was a big mistake! There was a whole bunch of stuff we could've done tonight!

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are still out on the balcony.]

Monica: Okay. Okay, I got one. Do you remember that vegetarian pate that I made that you loved so much?

Phoebe: Uh-huh.

Monica: Well, unless goose is a vegetable...ha haaaah!

Phoebe: Oh! Oh! Oh! Okay, fine, fine. Now I don't feel so bad about sleeping with Jason Hurley.

Monica: What?! You slept with Jason?

Phoebe: You'd already broken up.

Rachel: How long?

Phoebe: A couple hours.

Monica: Oh, that's nice!

Rachel: Okay, okay, okay, I got one! (She sits up and the cushion she was leaning against falls off of the balcony.) Anyway- The valentine Tommy Rollerson left in your locker was really from me.

Monica: Excuse me?!

Rachel: Hello? Like he was really gonna send you one? (To Phoebe) She was a big girl.

Monica: Really. Well, at least 'big girls' don't pee in their pants in seventh grade!

Rachel: I was laughing! You made me laugh! (Monica and Rachel start to squabble)

Phoebe: There he is! There he is!

Monica: Where?

Phoebe: Right- where we've been looking all night!

Rachel: He is so cute!

Monica: Oh, George, baby, drop the towel!

All: Yeah, drop it! Drop the towel! Please drop the—(pause)—wowww.

[Scene: The Emergency Room, Ross is absent.]

Joey: Man. Can you believe he's only had sex with one woman?

Chandler: I think it's great. Y'know, it's sweet, it's romantic...

Joey: Really?

Chandler: No, you kidding? The guy's a freak.. (Ross enters off camera)

Both: Hey, buddy.

Ross: Hi. (He is wearing a piece of steel bandaged to his nose. He tosses some forms onto reception desk.)

Receptionist: (sarcastic) Oh, that's attractive.

Chandler: Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs. Oh come on, admit it! All things considered, you had fun tonight.

Ross: Fun? Where was the fun? Tell me specifically, which part was the fun part? Where's my puck?

Joey: Oh, ah- the kid has it.

Ross: The kid...? (To the kid) Excuse me, uh, that's, that's my puck.

Kid: I found it. Finders keepers, losers weepers. (Ross looks at Chandler for help.)

Chandler: You gotta do it, man.

Ross: (to the kid) Oh yeah? Well, I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever—(to Chandler)—can't do it. (to the kid) Listen, uh- gimme back my puck.

Kid: No.

Ross: 'Yes', how about. C'mere. Gimme!

Kid: No! No! (They start to fight over it.)

Receptionist: Hey! Hey! No rough holding in my ER!

Ross: (tries to snatch it from the kid) GIVE ME MY PUCK!! (but it files out of his grasp and knocks out the receptionist)

Ross: ...Now that was fun.

Closing Credits

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey and the girls are playing twister.]

Ross: (Doing the spinning) Okay, Monica: Right foot red.

Monica: Could've played Monopoly, but nooooo.

(There's a knock on the door, Chandler opens it, and silently hands back the cushion.)

Chandler: Thanks. (The guy nods and leaves)

Ross: Okay, Pheebs: Right hand blue. (Phoebe has to bend over.)Good. (Joey stares at her butt appreciatively)

(The phone rings and Chandler answers it.)

Chandler: Hello? Oh, uh, Rachel, it's the Visa card people.

Rachel: Oh, okay. Will you take my place?

Chandler: Alright. (on phone) Yes, this is Rachel.

Rachel: Nooo! (She grabs the phone and Chandler takes her place on the mat.) (On phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh, yeah, no, I know, I-I haven't been using it much. (Listens) Oh, well, thanks, but, I'm okay, really.

Ross: Green. To the green.

Rachel: (on phone) I've got magic beans. (Listens) Never-never mind.

Chandler: To the left, to the left- aww! (They all collapse)

Rachel: (on phone) Ohhh... I'm fine.

End

 


菲比
如果有一天我变得全能
我要世界和平,不再有饥饿
雨林不再遭受破坏
雨林不再遭受破坏
钱德,你呢?
如果有一天我变得全能
我要让自己变得永远全能
看吧,总是有希望他能实现更多的愿望
看吧,总是有希望他能实现更多的愿望
乔依,如果你变得全能你希望做什么?
大概是自杀吧
什么?
如果小乔依死了我就没再活下去的理由
乔伊,全能,不是无能
你是?对不起

她是怎么办到的
我在公共场合根本睡不着
你看她,睡得那么安祥
什么事?
没事,你只是又打瞌睡了
你是怎么了?
你是怎么了?
我祖母交了一个新男友
他们俩在床上翻来覆去还有耳聋…
于是两人不断确定彼此是否尽兴
简直是吵死人了
如果愿意你今晚可以和我及瑞秋睡
谢了
我说得没错吧
从我的住处到这儿不到一百步
你的美国时间太多了
他就是今天的寿星?
瞧,曲棍球门票
骑兵队与企鹅队今晚在花园球场
我们要带你去看生日快乐,老兄
我们爱你
你们真幽默我的生日在七个月前
所以呢?
49
定是你们多了一张票找不到人一起去看
我们不是悲观之人
天啊,今天是10月20号
我正希望你没记起来
20号有什么不对劲吗?
万圣节的前七天?
所有的好服装都被抢走?
今天是我第一次和卡萝…
进行肉体接触…
作爱
我不去看球赛了
我还是回家想着我的前妻和她的爱人吧
去他的曲棍球我们回去一起想吧
罗斯,别这样
你,我和乔伊,冰人夜游怎样,大个儿?
你,我和乔伊,冰人夜游怎样,大个儿?
拜托,罗斯好吧,或许能让我忘记伤痛
但你要帮我买个大手指,一定
大家看,我的第一份薪水
看看这框框,上面有我的名字
是我
我记起拿到第一份薪水的那一天
矿场塌陷八人惨遭活埋
你在矿场工作?
不,我在黛莉冰淇淋工作,干嘛问?
真叫人兴奋,我赚来的
每天擦桌椅蒸牛奶
这真是太…
不值得了
谁是FICA?
为何他拿走我所有的钱?
钱德,你看
没那么糟
就第一份薪水而言你已经算不错了
单靠它就够你过日子了没错
对了,优秀的服务员没错
曲棍球
曲棍球
瑞秋
瑞秋
我发誓我在动物园也看过这种场面
什么风把你们吹来的?
我们到市区逛街
又听你妈你在这儿工作结果是真的
瞧你的围裙
好像在演戏一般
看看你,你的肚子好大
我简直不敢相信我知道,我变成两倍大
你近来可好?
你猜我爸和谁合伙?
你猜我爸和谁合伙?
看,我有手腕
罗斯将球传给李奇
李奇看见纳斯有空档一记妙传
我们先暂停一下
纳斯正停下来看女鞋
那一夜卡萝穿着那种靴子
老实说她没脱下
因为我们…对不起

什么?
桃核
怎么样?
吃了桃子?
事实上是蜜桃但基本上
可能是桃子
然后我们穿上衣服
我送她到公车站牌
我没事
那女人的臀部和卡萝的一样
什么?
我以为我们在找东西
好了,你们快点跟我讲八卦
最大的八卦还是你在圣坛前抛下巴瑞
好了,我们来谈点正经的
你打算何时回家?
什么?我不回家
拜托,我们是好姐妹
我不回家
我要在这儿工作
我有工作
当女服务生?
我不只是当女服务生
我写下每日特餐
摘下瓶中枯死的花朵
有时老板还会让我在饼干上涂上巧克力酱
你妈没有提起巧克力酱
瑞秋,和朋友聊得如何?
想喝杯鸡尾酒吗?
里面什么?
里面什么?
既然菲此要来过夜谈通宵
我们就买了一些八卦杂志
饼干面团和扭体游戏
我带了”手术”游戏来
瑞秋,是信用卡的人打来的
问他们想干什么
请问有什么事吗?
好,稍待
他们说你的帐户有问题
可是我已好几个星期没刷卡了
问题就出在这儿
他们想知道你是否没事
他们想知道我是否没事?
我想看看
FICA把我的钱全拿走了
我认识的朋友不是怀孕就是升职
而我只是端咖啡
而且还不是端给自己喝
如果这样叫没事的话
就告诉他们我没事,好吗?
瑞秋刚出去,你能再打来吗?
好吧,口引门来玩扭体游戏吧
怎么了?你和卡萝来的那一夜有?
塑胶座位?四千名愤怒的匹兹堡球迷?
不,我是说我们可能不会坐在一起
既然你已提起没错,那一夜有结冰
第一次结霜
坐下吧
你应该感到自豪才对
你正在学习了不起的独立
摩妮卡,有什么了不起可言?
我放弃一切
到底是为了什么?
你和杰克没两样
楼下的杰克?
不,是杰克与魔豆
另一个杰克
对,他放弃某些东西
他起床后发现窗外有棵大树
充满一切可能
他住在一个村庄
你住在一个村庄…
菲此,杰克放弃了牛
我放弃了一个正牙医生
我知道我并不喜欢他仭
杰克深爱着那头牛
一切都已考虑清楚
不是只有你才这样
我们也常不知自己何去何从
你得仔细想清楚
自然就能步上轨道
这样才能诸事顺利
真能拼
但如果无法步上轨道呢?
菲比
因为你…我不喜欢这个问题
瞧,如果我们没拿到魔豆吗?
只拿到一般的豆子呢?
宰掉他…
笑不出来了吧,老兄
那正是你需要的群以棍子互打的无齿之徒
快传,他有空档
瞧,我们上电视了
我抢到了
上面说不满意这条巧克力糖可以拨这个号码
我并不满意
这是紧急事件
我想你很清楚否则我们就不会在这儿了
等等,拿去填资料
坐在那儿填
我不想惹麻烦佄液芡矗业牧嘲枷氯チ
你得照顺序来
大概要等多久?
快了
真是对不起
我不是存心让你们不开心的
不,你说得对
我的人生毫无计划
你有计划吗?我根本毫无计划
磨菇,青椒和洋葱不,这不是我们点的
我们点的是起司脆皮口味
史先生不住这儿?没这个人
惨了,我爸一定会宰掉我的
等等,你是说史先生?
对,他住对街我一定是送错了,笨
慢着,是不是那个矮小的地中海人
幅聪明样的帅哥?
对,应该就是他
他穿着迷人的蓝色西装?打着领带?
不,他只围一条浴巾
不,他只围一条浴巾
你们忍心让我把它带回去?
什么?开什么玩笑我们要吃史先生的此萨
菲此,史先生是谁?
大乌的朋友
我看见此萨
让我看
我们在偷瞄谁?
白宫顾问,科林顿的助选员
他有迷人的头发性感的微笑
带劲儿的屁股是他?那个小矮人?
我好喜欢他
等等,我看一个女人
告诉我是他妈
绝对不是他妈
慢着,她走过地板
她走着…去拿此萨
不是给你的,臭女人
蓝大夫,请接分号256…
抱歉,我们已等了一个小时
许多情况此我朋友轻的人都走了
那个脚趾上挂东西的他和谁睡觉?
多拉,别生气
我知道我们都说了伤害彼此的话
我想她不会再理我了
或许他们在小睡
拜托,他们在做爱闭嘴
你们认为史先生是什么样的人?
我认为他很害羞
我认为他很害羞
你必须勾引他
之后他就会渐渐显露出兽性拜托
我记得月光透过窗户照进来
她的脸庞露出甜蜜的微笑
对,月光,微笑和甜蜜
说得好谁能拿点止痛药来吗?
他说得对,你够了没?
今天有什么大不了的?
你和她第一次上床,了不起?
之后你又和她做了七年
事情没那么简单
那么问题出在哪儿?
她把你甩了?她爱上女人?
她为一个爱女人的女人而离开你?
大声点,行吗?
12楼有个昏迷的人听不清楚
然后呢?
我和卡萝的第一次
是我的第一次
什么?
我的第一次
和卡萝?
这么说你这辈子只和一人…
天啊,看曲棍球真是个错误
本来今晚我们可以干很多事
我有了
还记得你很喜欢我做的那个蔬菜面团
除非鹅也是蔬菜
好吧,行
和强森上床的感觉没那么糟
什么?你和强森上床?
在你们分手后
多少之后?
几小时
真好
我也有了
情人节汤姆放在你置物箱的东西其实是我放的
什么?
你以为他真会送你东西?
她太天真了
真的?天真的女孩至少不会在七年级时还尿裤子
当时我是在笑,你逗得我大笑
在哪儿?
我们看了一整夜的地方
他真帅我的宝贝乔治,快拿掉浴巾
快拿掉浴巾…一次就好
你能相信他只和一个女人上过床?
这样很好啊
甜蜜又浪漫
你真的这样认为?
才怪这家伙是怪胎,我要审判他
老兄
真是迷人
你在”沉默的羔羊”里演得真好
快承认吧纵观一切,你今晚很开心
开心?哪里开心?
告诉哪一点值得我开心?
我的曲棍球在哪儿?
在那小孩手里
孩子…球是我的
我找到的
谁发现归谁,丢掉的人活该
争气点
是吗?我是橡胶你是胶水…
是吗?我是橡胶你是胶水…
还我,到底还不还我不还
过来,球还我
别在我这儿闹事
那才叫好玩
摩妮卡,右脚红
本来我们是要玩大富翁的仭
谢了
菲此,右手蓝
很好
瑞秋,信用卡人员打来的
好,愿意代替我吗?
我是瑞秋
不,我知道,我很久没用了
谢了,我没事,真的
谢了,我没事,真的
我有魔豆
不,当我没说
左转
我没事



 

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