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老友记第一季The One With the Evil Orthodontist

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The One With the Evil Orthodontist

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there.]

Chandler: I can't believe you would actually say that. I would much rather be Mr.Peanut than Mr.Salty.

Joey: No way! Mr.Salty is a sailor, all right, he's got to be, like, thetoughest snack there is.

Ross: I don't know, you don't wanna mess with corn nuts. They're craaazy.

Monica: (looking out of the window) Oh my God. You guys! You gotta come see this! There's some creep out there with a telescope!

Ross: I can't believe it! He's looking right at us!

Rachel: Oh, that is so sick.

Chandler: I feel violated. And not in a good way.

Phoebe: How can people do that?... (All but Phoebe walk away from the window in disgust.) Oh, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots!

Opening Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Rachel is there.]

Chandler: I am telling you, years from now, schoolchildren will study it as one of the greatest first dates of all time. It was unbelievable! We could totally be ourselves, we didn't have to play any games...

Monica: So have you called her yet?

Chandler: Let her know I like her? What are you, insane? (The girls make disgusted noises.) It's the next day! How needy do I want to seem? (To the guys) I'm right, right?

Joey and Ross: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Let her dangle.

Monica: I can't believe my parents are actually pressuring me to find one of you people.

Phoebe: Oh, God, just do it! (Grabbing the phone.) Call her! Stop being so testosteroney!

Chandler: Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat. (Calls her, then hurriedly hangs up.) I got her machine.

Joey: Her answer machine?

Chandler: No, interestingly enough her leaf blower picked up.

Phoebe: So, uh, why didn't you say anything?

Chandler: Oh, no-no-no-no. Last time I left a spontaneous message I ended up using the phrase "Yes indeedy-o."

Monica: Look look! It's Rachel and Barry. No, don't everybody look at once!

Ross: Okay, okay, what's going on?

Phoebe: Okay, they're just talking...

Ross: Yeah, well, does he look upset? Does he look like he was just told to shove anything?

Phoebe: No, no actually, he's smiling.. and... Oh my God, don't do that!!

Ross: What? What? What?!

Phoebe: That man across the street just kicked that pigeon! (Rachel enters.) Oh!

Chandler: (bluffing) And basically, that's how a bill becomes a law.

All: Oh!... Right!

Chandler: Hey Rach!

Monica: How'd it go?

Rachel: Y'know, it was, uh.. it was actually really great. He took me to lunch at the Russian Tea Room, and I had that chicken, where y'know you poke it and all the butter squirts out...

Phoebe: Not a good day for birds...

Rachel: Then we took a walk down to Bendall's, and I told him not to, but he got me a little bottle of Chanel...

Ross: That's nice... now, was that before or after you told him to stop calling, stop sending you flowers and to generally leave you alone, hmm?

Rachel: Right,.. well,.. we never actually got to that... Oh, it was just so nice to see him again, y'know? It was comfortable, it was familiar... it was just nice!

Ross: That's, that's nice twice!

Monica: Rachel, what's going on? I mean isn't this the same Barry who you left at the altar?

Joey: Duh, where've you been?

Rachel: Yeah, but it was different with him today! And he wasn't, like, Orthodontist Guy, y'know? I mean, we had fun! Is there anything wrong with that?

(Ross 'prompts' Chandler by hitting him on the arm.)

Chandler: Yes!

Rachel: Why?

Chandler: I have my reasons.

Monica: Okay, how about the fact that he's engaged to another woman, who just happens to be your ex-best friend?

Rachel: All right. All right, all right, all right, all right, I know it's stupid! I will go see him this afternoon, and I will just put an end to it!

[Scene: Barry's Office, the post-coital Barry and Rachel are recovering on the chair.]

Rachel: Wow... Wow!

Barry: Yeah.

Rachel: I'm not crazy, right? I mean, it was never like that.

Barry: Nooo, it wasn't.

Rachel: Ooh, and it's so nice having this little sink here...

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there except Rachel.]

Chandler: (on phone, reading from a script) Oh, Danielle! I wasn't expecting the machine... Give me a call when you get a chance. (Rattles some dishes) Bye-bye. (Hangs up.) Oh God!

Monica: That's what you've been working on for the past two hours?!

Chandler: Hey, I've been honing!

Ross: What was with the dishes?

Chandler: Oh, uh.. I want her to think I might be in a restaurant.. y'know? I might have some kind of life, like I haven't been sitting around here honing for the past few hours.

Monica: (looking out the window) Look look! He's doing it again, the guy with the telescope!

Phoebe: Oh my God! (Walks to the window) Go away! (Gesturing.) Stop looking in here!

Monica: Great, now he's waving back.

Joey: Man, we gotta do something about that guy. This morning, I caught him looking into our apartment. It creeps me out! I feel like I can't do stuff!

Monica: What kinda stuff?

Joey: Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff, but, like, when I'm cooking naked.

Phoebe: You cook naked?

Joey: Yeah, toast, oatmeal... nothing that spatters.

(A pause as they look at Chandler.)

Chandler: What are you looking at me for? I didn't know that.

[Scene: Barry's Office, Rachel and Barry are getting married.]

Barry: What's the matter?

Rachel: Oh, it's just... Oh, Barry, this was not good.

Barry: No, it was. It was very very good.

Rachel: Well, what about Mindy?

Barry: Oh, way, way better than Mindy.

Rachel: No, not that, I mean, what about you and Mindy?

Barry: Well, if you want, I'll just—I'll just break it off with her.

Rachel: No. No-no-no-no, no. I mean, don't do that. Not, I mean not for me.

Bernice: (over intercom) Dr. Farber, Bobby Rush is here for his adjustment.

Barry: (into intercom) Thanks, Bernice. (To Rachel) Let's go away this weekend.

Rachel: Oh, Barry..! Come on, this is all way too..

Barry: We can, we can go to Aruba! When I went there on what would have been our honeymoon, it was, uh... it was really nice. You would've liked it.

(Pause as Rachel realises...)

Rachel: I had a bra.

(Barry finds it draped on a cupboard and gives it to Rachel, they kiss as Bobby enters.)

Bobby: Hey, Dr. Farber.

(Rachel and Barry quickly split and pretend Barry is examining Rachel's mouth.)

Barry: All right Miss Green, everything looks fine... Yep, I think we're starting to see some real progress here.

(Bobby looks on, deadpan.)

Rachel: What?!

Bobby: I'm twelve, I'm not stupid.

(Rachel glares at him.)

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler enters clutching his phone.]

Chandler: Can I use your phone?

Monica: Yeah.. uh, but for future reference, that thing in your hand can also be used as a phone.

(Chandler dials his own phone and it rings.)

Chandler: Yes, it's working! Why isn't she calling me back?

Joey: Maybe she never got your message.

Phoebe: Y'know, if you want, you can call her machine, and if she has a lot of beeps, that means she probably didn't get her messages yet.

Chandler: Y'don't think that makes me seem a little...

Ross: ...desperate, needy, pathetic?

Chandler: Ah, you obviously saw my personal ad.

(He calls and quickly hangs up.)

Phoebe: How many beeps?

Chandler: She answered.

Monica: Y'see, this is where you'd use that 'hello' word we talked about.

Chandler: I'm not gonna talk to her, she obviously got my message and is choosing not to call me. Now I'm needy and snubbed. God, I miss just being needy.

(Rachel enters.)

All: Hey! Hi!

Phoebe: How'd he take it?

Rachel: Pretty well, actually... (Wandering into the kitchen.)

Monica: (wandering in after her) Uh, Rach... how come you have dental floss in your hair?

Rachel: Oh, do I?

Monica: Uh huh.

Rachel: (in a low voice) We ended up having sex in his chair.

Monica: You had sex in his chair?!... I said that a little too loudly, didn't I?

Ross: You-you had what?

Phoebe: Sex in his chair.

Ross: What, uh... what were you thinking?

Rachel: I don't know! I mean, we still care about each other. There's a history there. 'S'like you and Carol.

Ross: No! No no, it is nothing like me and Carol!

Rachel: Please. If she said to you, "Ross, I want you on this couch, right here, right now," what would you say?

(Ross flounders.)

Chandler: If it helps, I could slide over.

Ross: It's, it's, it's, uh, a totally diferent situation! It's, it's apples and oranges, it's, it's orthodontists and lesbi- I gotta go.

Phoebe: Where are you going?

Ross: (leaving) I just have to go, all right? Do I need a reason? Huh? I mean I have things to do with my life, I have a jam packed schedule, and I am late- for keeping up with it. Okay?

(Ross exits, a phone rings, and Chandler dives for his phone.)

Chandler: Hello? Hello?

(Rachel picks up their phone and the ringing stops. As she talks on the phone, an elaborate visual gag is spun out which is too difficult to describe in words.)

Rachel: (on phone) Hello?(Listens) Mindy! Hi! Hey, how are you? (Listens) Yes, yes, I've heard, congratulations, that is so great. (Listens) Really? (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Okay. Okay, well I'm working tomorrow, but if you want you can, you can, you can come by and... (Listens) Okay... (Listens) Great... (Listens) Great... (Listens) All right, so I'll, so I'll see you tomorrow! (Listens) Okay.. (Listens) Okay... (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up and sits down heavily.) Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

Chandler: So how's Mindy?

Rachel: Oh, she wants to see me tomorrow...Oh, she sounded really weird, I gotta call Barry... (Does so, on phone) Hi, it's me, I just.. Mindy!! Mindy! Hi! No, I figured that's where you'd be!

Commercial Break

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning. Chandler is sitting and staring at his phone. Monica enters and creeps up next to Chandler.]

Monica: Brrrrrrr!

(Chandler clutches at his phone before realising.)

Chandler: Hell is filled with people like you.

Joey: (entering) He's back! The peeper's back!

(Rachel enters from her room.)

Joey: (ducking) Get down!

Rachel: Get down?

Chandler: ...And boogie!

Rachel: Thanks, but I gotta go to work and get my eyes scratched out by Mindy.

Monica: Relax. Y'know, she may not even know.

Rachel: Please. I haven't heard from her in seven months, and now she calls me? I mean, what else is it about? Oh! She was my best friend, you guys! We went to camp together... she taught me how to kiss..

Joey: (intrigued) Yeah?

Rachel: And now, y'know, I'm like... I'm like the other woman! I feel so..

Joey: ..Naughty!

Rachel: Right, I'll see you guys later...

Joey: Oh, hold up, I'll walk out with you. Now, Rach, when she taught you to kiss, you were at camp, and.. were you wearing any kinda little uniform, or- (Rachel exits and slams the door in his face.) That's fine, yeah...

(Joey exits.)

Chandler: Okay, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Will you watch my phone?

Monica: Why don't you just take it with you?

Chandler: Hey, we haven't been on a second date, she needs to hear me pee?

Monica: Why don't you just call her?

Chandler: I can't call her, I left a message! I have some pride.

Monica: Do you?

Chandler: No! (Calls) Danielle, hi! It's, uh, it's Chandler! (Listens) I'm fine. Uh, listen, I don't know if you tried to call me, because, uh, idiot that I am, I accidentally shut off my phone. (Listens) Oh, uh, okay, that's fine, that's great. (Listens) Okay. (Puts down the phone.) (to Monica) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back. (He starts doing a little jig.) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back, she's on the other line, gonna call me back...

Monica: Don't you have to pee?

Chandler: 'S'why I'm dancing...

[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving coffee as Mindy enters.]

Rachel: Mindy.

Mindy: Hey, you.

Rachel: Hey, you.... So, what's up?

Mindy: Um.. we should really be sitting for this.

Rachel: Sure we should... So.

Mindy: Now, I know things've been weird lately, but you're like my oldest friend in the world... Except for maybe Laurie Schaffer, who I don't talk to anywhere, 'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn't have a pretty face. ....Okay, I'm just gonna ask you this once, and I want a straight answer.

Rachel: Okay.

Mindy: Will you be my maid of honour?

Rachel: Of course!

Mindy: Oh that's so great!

Rachel: Was that all you wanted to ask me?

Mindy: That's all!

Rachel: Ohhhh!! (Mindy starts to sob.) ...What? What?

Mindy: That's not all.

Rachel: Oh sure it is!

Mindy: Oh no, it isn't! No! I think Barry is seeing someone in the city.

Rachel: Um, what- what would make you think that?

Mindy: Well, ever since we announced the engagement, he's been acting really weird, and then last night, he came home smelling like Chanel.

Rachel: (draws back) Really. Mindy, if it'll make you feel any better, when I was engaged to him he went through a whole weird thing too.

Mindy: Oh God! You see, that's what I was afraid of!

Rachel: What? What's what you were afraid of?

Mindy: Okay, okay... when Barry was engaged to you, he and I...kind of... had a little thing on the side.

Rachel: What?

Mindy: I know. I know, and when he proposed to me, everyone said "Don't do it, he's just gonna do to you what he did to Rachel," and now I feel so stupid.

Rachel: Uh... Oh, Mindy, you are so stupid. Oh, we are both so stupid.

Mindy: What do you mean?

Rachel: (offers her arm to Mindy and she sniffs) Smell familiar?

Mindy: Oh no.

Rachel: Oh, I am so sorry.

Mindy: No me, I am so sorry...

(They hug and Joey enters.)

Joey: (watches them for a while) Oh my.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Ross are doing a crossword, Monica is cooking, and Chandler is still staring at his phone.]

Ross: Four letters: "Circle or hoop".

Chandler: Ring dammit, ring!

Ross: Thanks.

Joey: (entering) Hey, you know our phone's not working?

Chandler: What?!

Joey: I tried to call you from the coffee shop, and there was no answer.

Chandler: (investigating) I turned it off. Mother of God, I turned it off!

Monica: Just like you told her you did! (Chandler glares at her.) ... Just pointing out the irony.

Joey: Hey, so listen, I went across the street and talked to the doorman- I got the peeper's name! Can I use the phone?

Chandler: Nngghhh!!!!!!!

Joey: (to Monica) Can I use your phone? (On phone) Yeah, the number for a Sidney Marks, please.

Ross: "Heating device."

Phoebe: Radiator.

Ross: Five letters.

Phoebe: Rdtor.

Joey: (on phone) Yeah, is Sidney there? (Listens) Oh, this is? (To the gang) Sidney's a woman.

Monica: So she's a woman! So what?

Joey: Yeah. Yeah, so what? (On phone) Look, I live across the street, (walking to the window) and I know all about you and your little telescope, and I don't appreciate it, okay? (Listens) Yeah, I can see you right now! (Listens) Hello! (Listens) If I wanna walk around my apartment in my underwear, I shouldn't have to feel like—(Listens)—Thank you, but... that's not really the point... (Listens) The point is that... (Listens) Mostly free weights, but occasionally..

Monica: Joey!!

Joey: (on phone) Yeah, my neighbor... (Listens) Yeah, the brunette... (to Monica) She says you looked very pretty the other day in the green dress.

Monica: The green dress? Really?

Joey: Yeah, she said you looked like Ingrid Bergman that day.

Monica: (waves dismissively to Sidney) Nooo!

[Scene: Barry's Office, Barry is preparing his tools alone as Rachel enters.]

Rachel: Hey. Got a second?

Barry: Sure, sure. Come on... (Mindy enters) ...in...

Mindy: Hello, sweetheart.

Barry: Uh... uh... what're'you... what're'you guys doing here?

Rachel: Uh, we are here to break up with you.

Barry: Both of you?

Mindy: Basically, we think you're a horrible human being, and bad things should happen to you.

Barry: I'm sorry... I'm sorry, God, I am so sorry, I'm an idiot, I was weak, I couldn't help myself! Whatever I did, I only did because I love you so much!

Rachel: Uh- which one of us are you talking to there, Barr?

Barry: ....Mindy. Mindy, of course Mindy, it was always Mindy.

Rachel: Even when we were having sex in that chair?

Barry: (to Mindy) I swear, whatever I was doing, I was always thinking of you.

Rachel: Please! During that second time you couldn't have picked her out of a lineup!

Mindy: (to Rachel) You did it twice?

Rachel: Well, the first time didn't really count... I mean, y'know, 's'Barry.

Mindy: Okay...

Barry: (to Mindy) Sweetheart, just gimme- gimme another chance, okay, we'll start all over again. We'll go back to Aruba.

Bernice: (over intercom) Dr. Farber, we've got a bit of an emergency here...Jason Costalano is choking on his retainer.

Barry: Oh God... (Into intercom) I'll be right there, Bernice. (to Mindy) Look, please, please don't go anywhere, okay? I'll be, I'll be right back.

(Barry exits)

Rachel: Okay. Okay, we'll be here! Hating you! Did you see how he was sweating when he walked out of there? Listen honey, if I'm hogging the ball too much you just jump right in there and take a couple punches because I'm telling you, this feels great.

Mindy: Yeah... I'm pretty sure I'm still gonna marry him.

Rachel: What are you talking about?! Mindy, the guy is the devil! He's Satan in a smock!

Mindy: Look, I know he's not perfect, but the truth is, at the end of the day, I still really wanna be Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber, D.D.S.

Rachel: Oh God.

Mindy: I hope you can find some way to be happy for me. And I hope you'll still be my maid of honor...?

Rachel: And I hope Barry doesn't kill you and eat you in Aruba.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are there.]

Monica: You okay?

Rachel: Yeah.

Monica: Really?

Rachel: Yeah! Y'know, ever since I ran out on Barry at the wedding, I have wondered whether I made the right choice. And now I know.

Monica: Aww... (They hug)

(Joey enters and looks on approvingly.)

Joey: Big day.

Closing Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]

Joey: All right, I'll give you this, Mr. Peanut is a better dresser. I mean he's got the monocle, he's got the top hat...

Phoebe: You know he's gay?

Ross: I just wanna clarify this: are you outing Mr. Peanut?

Danielle: (entering) Chandler?

Chandler: Danielle! Hi! Uh- everybody, this is Danielle, Danielle, everybody.

All: Hi. Hi.

Chandler: What are you doing here?

Danielle: Well, I've been calling you, but it turns out I had your number wrong. And when I finally got the right one from Information, there was no answer. So I thought I'd just come down here, and make sure you were okay.

Chandler: ...I'm, I'm okay.

Danielle: Listen uh, maybe we could get together later?

Chandler: That sounds good. I'll call you- or you call me, whatever...

Danielle: You got it.

Chandler: Okay.

Danielle: G'bye, everybody.

All: Bye.

Phoebe: Whoo-hoo!

Monica: Yeah, there you go!

Ross: Second date!

Chandler: ...I dunno.

Rachel: You don't know?!

Chandler: Well, she seems very nice and everything, but that whole thing about her coming all the way down here, just to see if I was okay? I mean,... how needy is that?

(They all groan and hit him..)

End

我真不敢相信你会这么说

我是盐先生而非花生先生?

才怪,盐先生是个水手

他应该是最顽强的点心

我不知道

你不会想和玉米作对的

它们简直是疯了

上帝呀

有个变态拿着望远镜

我真不敢相信他在看我们

真呕心

我感觉被冒犯了而且很不爽

怎会有人这样?

你们看,丑陋裸男有双重力鞋

告诉你们

几年后学童将会

把它奉为第一次约会的经典加以研读

它太令人无法置信

我们可以完全作自己

无须再玩任何游戏

你打过电话给她没?

让她知道我喜欢她?

你疯了不成

制片:陶德史帝芬

真的

才第二天你要我显得多渴望?

对吧?

对,让她慢慢等吧

我无法相信我爸妈

强迫我找你们这种男人

快,拿起电话打给她

别摆出一付臭男人的样子

对了,旧金山真有这道菜

是机器

她的答录机?

不,真有意思,是落叶机清扫机

你为何不说话?

不行

上次我留话时

结果说了”对,的确”

看,是瑞秋和巴瑞

不,别一起看

怎么了?

他们只是在讲话

是吗?他是否神情落寞?

他是否像被告知去死的样子?

没有,而且他正在微笑

我的老天,不要那样干?

怎么啦?

对街的男人踢了一只鸽子

这就是法案成为法律的原因

瑞秋

情况如何?

好极了

他带我到俄国茶室吃饭

我点了那种鸡肉

一刺就有奶油啧出来的那种

今天真不是鸟儿的好日子

然后我们去精品店

我告诉他不要他还是买了香奈儿给我

真体贴

是在你跟他说之前还是之后送的

叫他别再打电话来

别再送你花,别再来烦你?

老实说我没机会开口

能再见到他的感觉真好

感觉是那么自在而熟悉

感觉真好

你已讲了两遍

瑞秋,你是怎么了?

他不是在圣坛前被你甩掉的巴瑞吗?

你上哪儿去了?

今天和他在一起感觉不同

他今天不像是牙医

我们玩得很开心

这样有什么不对吗?

当然!

为什么?

我有我的理由

他订婚的对象是你前任的知己呢?

好吧好吧好吧

我知道这样做很傻

我下午去找他谈分手

我不疯狂吧?我从未像这样

从未

这儿有个小水槽真好

丹妮尔

没想到是答录机接的

有空请回电

再见

你这两小时都在忙这个?

我在演练

和盘子有何关系?

我要她以为我在餐厅

我过着不错的生活

不是只在这儿演练数小时的样子

看,又是那个拿望远镜的人

拜托,走开,别再往这儿看

这下可好,他也挥手了

我们得想办法阻止他

早上我逮到他往这儿看

真是令我毛骨惊然

我感觉自己无法办事

什么样的事情呀?

成熟点行吗?

我不是指性

我只是光着屁股做饭

你光着屁股做饭?

对,吐司,燕麦

不会溅出来的东西

看我干嘛?我毫不知情

怎么了?

巴瑞,这样不好

不,不

是非常非常好

明蒂呢?

我们干得比明蒂好多了.

不,我是指你和明蒂

如果你愿意我就和她分手

万万不行,别那样做

别为我那样做

法大夫,巴比来做调整

谢谢

我们周末去渡假

巴瑞,这样太…

不,或许我们可以去阿鲁巳

我在”蜜月”时去过了

感觉很棒,你一定会喜欢的

我本来有穿胸罩

法大夫

格林小姐,看来一切正常

进步许多

干嘛?

我十二岁了,我不笨

能借用你的电话吗?

可以,不过...

我指点你一下

你拿的那支也是电话

这电话没问题啊

她为何不回电?

或许她没听到你的留言

如果愿意你可以打给她的留言机

如果听见许多哔声

那代表她或许没听见留言

难道你不认为这样会使我感觉有点…

绝望,渴望,可悲?

你显然看过我的征友启事

哔几声?

她接的

此时你该向她打招呼才对

我不能跟她讲话

她显然听到我的留言而且选择不回电

我既渴望又被人冷落

我真想念纯渴望的滋味

嘿,他表现如何?

还不错

瑞秋

你头发上为何有牙线?

有吗?

我们在他椅子上做爱

你们在他椅子上做爱?

我是否说得太大声?

你们什么?

在他椅子上做爱

你到底在想什么?

我也不知道

我们仍在乎对方

我们曾相爱过

就像你和卡萝一样

不,不像我和卡萝

拜托

如果她说:罗斯我要你躺在这沙发上

此时此地,你会怎么回答?

如果需要我可以过去点

这完全是两回事

这是苹果和橘子

牙医和女同志

我走了

你要上哪儿去?

我就是要走,行吗?

需要理由吗?

我有自己的人生要过

我有许多事要做

我已经被某事给耽误了

明蒂,你好

对,我听说了,恭喜

这真是太好了

我明天要上班

如果愿意可以到店里

太好了

明天见了

天呀 天呀 天呀

明蒂好吗?

她明天想见我

她的语调好诡异

我得打电话给巴瑞

是我,明蒂

不,我想你可能会在那儿

你这种人都该下地狱

偷窥狂又出现了,蹲下

蹲下?

接着跳舞.

谢谢

我得去上班

接受明蒂的审判

放轻松,或许她还不知道

拜托,我们七个月来没连络过

她突然打电话来还会有什么事呢?

她曾是我最要好的朋友

我们一起去夏令营

她教我如何亲吻

是吗?

如今我像是成第三者

我感觉自己很…

不守规矩?

回头见了

等等,我和你一起出去

她在夏令营时教你亲吻

你穿着制服,或着...

没事了..

我要上洗手间

帮我守着电话好吗?

你何不带进去?

我们还没第二次约会

她需要听到我尿尿的声音吗?

何不干脆打给她?

我已留言,不能打给她

我有男性的尊严

你有吗?

没有.

丹妮尔,我是钱德

我很好

我不知道你是否打过电话给我

因为我这个白痴不小心把电话关了

好,太好了

她正在讲电话

等一下会回我电话

她正在讲电话

等一下会回我电话…

你不想尿了?

这就是我跳舞的原因

明蒂

什么事?

我们需要坐下来谈谈

当然啦,

那么...

我感觉最近有点奇怪

你是我认识最久的朋友

除了萝瑞之外

我和她已没有往来

她虽已减肥成功脸蛋依然丑陋

我只问你一次而且你要爽快的回答

愿意当我的伴娘吗?

当然!

太好了

你只想问我这件事?

对,就这样

怎么了?

怎么了?

不,不只这样

我认为巴瑞有其他的女人

你怎会这样想?

宣布订婚后他就变了样

昨晚他回家时有香奈儿的味道

真的?

如果这样能让你好过点

我和巴瑞订婚时他也变了样

瞧,这就是我最担心的

什么?你担心什么?

巴瑞和你订婚时

我跟他正在偷偷恋爱

什么?

我知道,他向我求婚时

每个人都劝我别接受

他会待你像瑞秋一样

如今我只觉得自己好笨

明蒂,你真笨

我们两人都笨

什么意思?

是不是熟悉的味道?

抱歉…

不,是我抱歉…

四个字母,圈圈或圆圈(填字游戏)

快响呀,该死的,快响呀.(ring)

谢啦.

我们的电话坏了

什么?

我从咖啡店打给你没有应答

我关机了

天啊,我关机了

和你告诉她的一样

真是讽刺

我和对街门房谈过了

他告诉我那偷窥狂的名字

电话能借用吗?

电话能借用吗?

请帮我查辛尼马克斯的电话

热装置?(填字游戏)

散热器

五个字母

是辛尼吗?

辛尼是个女的

是女的又怎样?

对,那又怎样?

我住在对街

我注意到你拿着望远镜

而且我很不喜欢你这样.

我现在就看的见你

如果我要穿着内裤在室内走

我无须感觉…谢谢

那不是重点

重点是…大部份时间无所谓,但是偶尔......

乔伊!

对,我邻居

对,黑褐色头发

她说你穿绿色套装很好看

绿色套装?真的?

对,她说你像英格丽褒曼

少来啦!

有时间吗?

进来呀

亲爱的

你们来干什么?

我们是来和你分手的

你们两个?

基本上我们认为你是个大烂人

你该遭到天打雷劈

对不起…我是个白痴

我是个懦夫,我无法自拔

不管我做什么都是因为太爱你了

巴瑞,你是指哪一个?

明蒂

当然是指明蒂

我一直深爱着明蒂

即使我们在你椅上做爱?

我发誓,不论我做什么我想的都是你

拜托,第二回合时你连她姓啥都忘了

你们做了两次?

第一次不算,你了解巴瑞的

我懂

明蒂,我亲爱的

再给我一次机会

我们再重新来过

我们再到阿鲁巴去

我们再到阿鲁巴去

法大夫,紧急状况

强森被自己的牙套噎到了

拜托,我马上去

请别离开,我马上回来

我们会在这儿的

在这儿恨你

看见他走出去时满身大汗没?

这样吧,我去抓住他

然后你狠狠打他几拳

那感觉一定很爽

是吗?我还是想嫁给她

你在说什么?

明蒂,那家伙是个恶魔

是个衣冠禽兽

我知道他并不完美

老实说我还是想当个医生夫人

医生夫人

我的天

希望你能为我高兴

我希望你还愿意当我的伴娘

我希望巴瑞在阿鲁巴不会将你宰了然后吃掉

你还好吗?

是的

真的?

真的.

自从我在婚礼上抛下巴瑞

我一直在想这决定是否正确

如今我已得到答案

我真为你高兴

好日子啊

告诉你花生先生的穿着比较讲究

他有单片眼镜,高帽

你知道他是个男同志吗?

我只想知道你判花生先生出局了?

钱德?

丹妮尔,你好

各位,这是丹妮尔

丹妮尔,这是大家

你为何会出现在这儿?

我一直打电话给你都一直打错号码

最后问查号台知道你的号码

却没人接电话

我想来看看你是否无恙

我没事

或许我们改天可以见个面

这主意不错,我再打给你

或是你打给我,怎么都可以

一言为定

再见了,各位

真棒

第二次约会?

我不知道

你不知道?

她好像很不错

她大老远来这儿只想确定我没事

有这必要吗?


 

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