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老友记第二季The One With Phoebe Dad

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The One With Phoebe's Dad

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, Ross, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is looking out the window.]

PHOEBE: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his tree. Oh my God, you should see the size of his Christmas Balls.

[Chandler and Joey enter.]

JOEY: Hey.

CHANDLER: Hey.

RACHEL: Hey.

JOEY: Hey, how much did you guys tip the super this year?

CHANDLER: Yeah, we were gonna give fifty, but if you guys gave more, we don't wanna look bad.

MONICA: Oh, actually this year we just made him homemade cookies.

CHANDLER: And twenty-five it is.

JOEY: You gave him cookies?

MONICA: Money is so impersonal. Cookies says someone really cares. . . Alright, we're broke, but cookies do say that.

PHOEBE: I can see that. A plate of brownies once told me a limerick.

CHANDLER: Phoebs, let me ask you something, were, were these, uh, funny brownies?

PHOEBE: Not especially. But you know what, I think they had pot in them.

ROSS: So you guys, who else did you tip with cookies?

RACHEL: Uhh, the mailman, the super.

[There's a bang at the door.]

MONICA: Oh, and the newspaper delivery guy.

[Joey opens the door and picks up the remnants of the newspaper.

JOEY: Oh my God.

RACHEL: What?

JOEY: Uhhh, I don't think you're gonna like this.

[Joey shows them the torn-up newspaper.]

RACHEL: Ooh, goooosh, ooh, these are cookies smashed in the sports section.

MONICA: Oh look, and he did my crossword puzzle.

ROSS: Yeah, but not very well, unless 14-across, 'Gershwin musical' actually is bitemebitemebitemebiteme.

OPENING TITLES

[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Joey are seated at couches. Rachel is working behind the counter.]

JOEY: I can't believe it's Christmas already. Ya know, I mean, one day your eatin' turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leapin' and you geese are a-layin'.

CHANDLER: Which is why geese are so relaxed this time of year.

[Ross enters with several bags from shopping.]

ROSS: Hey guys.

CHANDLER, MONICA, and JOEY: Hey.

[Ross approaches Rachel at counter.]

ROSS: Hey Rach. I, uh, got you a little present. [Rachel is not impressed]. . I'll open it. It's a Slinky! Remember, huh. [sings] Walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, everyone knows it's. . . just a big spring. Alright, you still mad at me becuase of the whole. . .

RACHEL: Horrible and degrading list of reasons not to be with me?

ROSS: How 'bout from now on we just call it the 'unfortunate incident'? [Rachel walks off] Hey Gunther, you got stairs in your place?

GUNTHER: Yeah.

ROSS: Here, go nuts. [gives him the Slinky and goes and sits with others at the couches]

ROSS: Hey guys.

CHANDLER, MONICA, and JOEY: Hey.

CHANDLER: What's in the bag?

ROSS: Um, just some presents.

JOEY: C'mon show us what you bought. . . You know you want to.

ROSS: [childishly] OK. OK, this is a picture frame from Ben to my parents, huh.

MONICA: Cute.

ROSS: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.

[Ross holds up the blouse. It is extremely tacky, with sewn-on medals hanging off of it.]

MONICA: Ross, that is gorgeous!

ROSS: Yeah?

MONICA: Look at these authentic fake medals. I tell ya, mom's gonna be voted best dressed at the make-believe military academy.

[Phoebe enters.]

PHOEBE: Hey.

GANG: Hey. Hi Phoebe.

PHOEBE: Happy Christmas Eve Eve. [sees Ross's picture frame] Oh my God, where did you get this?

ROSS: Uh, Macy's, third floor, home furnishings.

PHOEBE: This is my father, this is a picture of my dad.

CHANDLER: Nah, Phoebs, that's the guy that comes in the frame.

PHOEBE: No it isn't, this is my dad, alright, I'll show you.

RACHEL: Phoebe, I thought your dad was in prison.

PHOEBE: No, that's my stepdad. My real dad's the one that ran out on us before I was born.

RACHEL: How have you never been on Oprah?

PHOEBE: [showing her pictures] OK, look, see, this is him. My mother gave me this picture before she died, same guy.

MONICA: Honey, uh, this is a picture of the frame guy posing in front of a bright blue screen with a collie.

PHOEBE: It's not a blue screen... it's just, maybe it was just really clear that day. OK, I have to talk to my grandmother. [turns to leave]

MONICA: Oh, wait a minute honey.

GANG: Phoebs. [Phoebe leaves]

MONICA: Wow.

JOEY: So anyway, I'm trying to get my boss's ex-wife to sleep with me. . .

GANG: Joey!

JOEY: Oh, but when Phoebe has a problem, everyone's all ears!

[Scene: Phoebe's grandmother's place. Phoebe's grandmother is sitting at the table, reading the obituaries, and crossing out names in the phonebook.]

GRANDMOTHER: Esther Livingston. [scratches out name] Gone.

[Phoebe enters.]

GRANDMOTHER: Hi, Phoe.

PHOEBE: Hi Gram. Whatcha doin'?

GRANDMOTHER: Oh, just updating the phonebook.

PHOEBE: Um, gram, um, can I see the pictures of my dad again?

GRANDMOTHER: [nervously] Oh. Oh, sure, sure, uh, uh, how come?

PHOEBE: Just, you know, to see... um.

GRANDMOTHER: Oh, sure, yeah. [gets a box with the pictures] This is the one of you father in a meadow, and, uh, helping a little boy fly a kite, and here he is at a graduation. . . another graduation. . . another graduation.

PHOEBE: OK, is this really my father?

GRANDMOTHER: Is it really your fa--I can't... well of course it is.

PHOEBE: OK, I smell smoke. Maybe that's 'cause someone's pants are on fire.

GRANDMOTHER: Look, I. . .

PHOEBE: Ya know, in all the years that we have been grandmother and granddaughter, you have never lied to me.

GRANDMOTHER: Alright, that is not your father, that's just a picture of a guy in a frame.

PHOEBE: Oh God.

GRANDMOTHER: It was your mother's idea. Ya know, she didn't want you to know your real father because it hurt her so much when he left, and, I didn't want to go along with it, but, well then she died and, and it was harder to argue with her. Not impossible, but harder.

PHOEBE: Alright, so, what, he's not a famous tree surgeon? And then, I guess, OK, he doesn't live in a hut in Burma where there's no phones?

GRANDMOTHER: Last I heard, he was a pharmacist somewhere upstate.

PHOEBE: OK, that makes no sense. Why would the villagers worship a pharmacist?

GRANDMOTHER: Honey.

PHOEBE: [realizes] Oh.

GRANDMOTHER: Anyway, that's all I know. That, and this. [pulls apart a frame and pulls a picture out] This is the real him.

PHOEBE: Oh.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel, Chandler, and Joey are decorating the Christmas tree.]

CHANDLER: Ya know I remember my father, all dressed up in the red suit, the big black boots, and the patent leather belt, sneakin around downstairs. He didn't want anybody to see him but he'd be drunk so he'd stumble, crash into something and wake everybody up.

RACHEL: Well, that doesn't sound like a very merry Christmas.

CHANDLER: Who said anything about Christmas?

[Monica and Ross enter.]

MONICA: Hi.

ROSS: Hey, anyone hear from Phoebe yet?

RACHEL: No, nothin'.

MONICA: I hope she's OK.

JOEY: Yeah, I know exactly what she's goin' through.

MONICA: How do you know exactly what she's going through?

JOEY: She told us.

CHANDLER: So whaddya got there Monica?

MONICA: Just some stuff for the party.

ROSS: Yeah, what're you guys doin' here, aren't you supposed to be Christmas shopping?

MONICA: You guys haven't gotten your presents yet? Tomorrow's Christmas Eve, what're ya gonna do?

CHANDLER: Don't you have to be Claymation to say stuff like that?

RACHEL: Oh, by the way Mon, I don't think the mailman liked your cookies. Here are the ornaments your mom sent. [hands her a smashed box]

MONICA: Well, maybe the mailman liked the cookies, we just didn't give him enough.

JOEY: Monica, pigeons learn faster that you.

[Ross approaches Rachel, away from everyone else.]

ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me.

RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . .

ROSS: C'mon Rachel.

RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair.

ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said.

RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair]

[Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone]

PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up]

[Phoebe's grandmother enters]

GRANDMOTHER: Hey.

PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name.

GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going?

PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math.

GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin.

PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know.

GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived.

PHOEBE: Whattaya mean?

GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab.

PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you.

GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab.

PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]



Commercial
[Scene: Chandler is standing on a street corner waiting for Phoebe in the cab. Joey walks up.]

JOEY: Phoebe here with the cab yet?

CHANDLER: Yeah, she, she brought the invisible cab. . . hop in.

JOEY: Well she better get here soon, the outlet stores close at 7.

CHANDLER: Hey, don't worry. I figure it'll be 2 hours to Phoebe's dad's house, they'll meet, they'll chat, they'll swap life stories, we'll still have plenty of time.

[Phoebe drives up in the cab]

JOEY: Hey, here she comes.

Chandler: Hey.

JOEY: Hey.

[Phoebe runs over the curb. Joey gets in the back seat, Chandler in the front]

PHOEBE: Hey.

JOEY: Hey.

PHOEBE: Can you believe this. In, like, two hours I'm gonna have a dad. Eeeshk.

CHANDLER: Eeeshk.

JOEY: Yeah, big stuff.

PHOEBE: OK, let's go.

CHANDLER: OK.

PHOEBE: Alright, here, you have to hold this. [hands Chandler a piece of paper]

CHANDLER: OK. [reads paper] Brake left, gas right?

PHOEBE: Uh-huh, yeah, that's my cheat sheet.

CHANDLER: [grabs for seat belt] Where's my seat belt?

PHOEBE: Oh, no no, that side doesn't have one, the paramedics had to cut through it. [Chandler jumps out of the car]

CHANDLER: [Chandler gets in the back seat] Hey!

JOEY: Hey. [Phoebe takes off, Joey and Chandler are thrown back in the seat]

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is preparing for the party with Ross questioning her.]

ROSS: C'mon, just tell me, please, please.

MONICA: For the sixteenth time, no... I do not think you're obsessive.

[Rachel enters from her room]

RACHEL: Oh, gosh, it's hot in here.

MONICA: Rach, get the heat. [Rachel holds up her hand with wet fingernail polish] Ross, could you turn the heat down please?

ROSS: Sure. By the way, there's a difference between being obsessive and. . .

MONICA: Ross, the heat!

ROSS: Fine, OK! Heat, heat, heat, and I'm the obsessive one. [goes to the radiator and starts turning the knob] OK, this way is on, so this is. . . [breaks off the knob] off.

RACHEL: Did you just break the radiator?

ROSS: No, no, I was turnin' the knob and, and. . . here it is.

MONICA: Well put it back.

ROSS: It uhh, it won't go back.

RACHEL: I'll call the super.

MONICA: Here, let me try.

ROSS: Oh, oh that's right, I forgot about your ability to fuse metal.

MONICA: Hey, it's Funny's cousin, Not Funny.

RACHEL: [on phone] Hi, Mr. Treeger. Hi, it's Rachel Green from upstairs. Yes, somebody, uh, broke our knob on the radiator and it's really hot in here. Yes, it's, it's hot enough to bake cookies. Well, do you think we could have a new one by 6? Wha t, no, no, Tuesday, we can't wait until Tuesday, we're having a party tonight.

ROSS: OK, tip the man.

MONICA: No, if he doesn't like our cookies, too bad, I am not gonna be blackmailed. Look if worse comes to worse, it gets a little warm, we'll call it a theme party.

ROSS: Hey, here's a theme: Come on in, live like bacon.

[Scene: Outside Phoebe's dad's house. The cab pulls up.]

PHOEBE: Ooh, this is it, 74. [screeches to a halt, Joey and Chandler are thrown into the plexiglass wall in the cab]

CHANDLER: Oh, so that's what this is for.

PHOEBE: Wow, this is it, I'm gonna meet my dad. This is like the biggest thing ever, huh.

CHANDLER: Yeah.

JOEY: Sure is.

PHOEBE: OK, here I go. I'm goin' in.

CHANDLER: Alright.

JOEY: Good luck Phoebs.

PHOEBE: OK, here I go. . . here I go. . . I'm goin'. [she just sits in the cab]

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. They are having their party. All the guests are stripped down because of the heat.]

RACHEL: [answers door] Hi, welcome to our tropical Christmas party. You can put your coats and sweaters and pants and shirts in the bedroom.

ROSS: [sitting at table talking to a girl] It's hard to tell because I'm sweating, but I use exactly what the gel bottle says, an amount about the size of a pea. How, how can that be too much?

MONICA: [carrying an ice cube tray] Ice, ice, ice squares anyone? Take a napkin. Alright.

ROSS: Monica, Monica, your guest are turning into jerky, OK.

MONICA: Really? I'm perfectly comfortable. [one of the guest opens the refrigerator] Hey, hey, hey, get in line buddy, I was next. [she opens the refrigerator and leans into it]

RACHEL: [answering the door] Mr. Treeger.

MR. TREEGER: Uhh, you said there was a party.

RACHEL: Oh, yeah, well hey, welcome to our sauna.

MR. TREEGER: Ahh, is it hot? My body always stays cool, probably 'cause I have so much skin. Hey, cheese!

[Ross is speaking to Monica and Rachel about tipping the super.]

ROSS: Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything.

MONICA: No, I will not cave.

RACHEL: Yeah, I'm with Mon.

ROSS: Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. [approaches Mr. Treeger] Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas.

[Gives him the cash.]

MR. TREEGER: Oh wow, I didn't get you anything. Here's five back.

ROSS: No no, no, that, that's your Christmas tip, alright. Oh, hey, do you think there's a chance you could fix that radiator now?

MR. TREEGER: No can do, like I told the girl, I can't get a new knob until Thursday.

MONICA: Ross.

ROSS: Yeah.

MONICA: [to Ross] Looks like he's playin' baseball.

ROSS: You mean hardball?

MONICA: Whatever.

RACHEL: What'cha gonna' do?

ROSS: Excuse me, I'm seizing. Mr. Treeger, here's another 50, happy Hanukkah. Will uh, will this help with the knob getting?

MR. TREEGER: No, the place is not open 'till Tuesday. Am I not saying it right.

MONICA: So, wait, you really did like my cookies?

MR. TREEGER: Oh, yeah, they were so personal, really showed you cared.

RACHEL: Nice seizing. . . gel boy.

MR. TREEGER: [to Rachel who is standing under mistletoe] So, uh, is this, uh, mistletoe?

RACHEL: Huh-huh, no act--no, uhh, that, that is basil.

MR. TREEGER: Ahh, if it was mistletoe, I was gonna kiss ya.

RACHEL: Huh-hoo, yeah, no, it's still basil.

[Scene: Outside Phoebe's dad's house. Phoebe is running back to the cab.]

PHOEBE: OK.

JOEY: How far'd ya get?

PHOEBE: Mailbox.

CHANDLER: Alright, we're gettin' closer.

PHOEBE: Uh-huh.

JOEY: Phoebs, what's goin' on?

PHOEBE: No, it's just like, ya know, it's a whole mess of stuff, ya know. It's like, yesterday, ya know, my dad was this, like, famous Burma tree surgeon guy and, ya know, now he's a, a pharmacist guy and. . .

JOEY: Well, maybe he's, maybe he's this really cool pharmacist guy.

PHOEBE: Yeah, maybe, yeah. You know, and, and I'll knock on the door and, and he'll hug me and I'll have a dad. Ya know and I'll, I'll go to his pharmacy and everyone will be really nice to me 'cause, you know, I'm Franks daughter.

CHANDLER: Well, so why not go knock?

PHOEBE: Well, 'cause, I mean, what if, what if he's not this great dad guy? I mean, what if, what if he's just still the dirtbag who ran out on my mom and us? You know what? I've already lost a fake dad this week and I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one.

JOEY: Phoebs, that's OK. You took a big step today.

PHOEBE: Yeah?

CHANDLER: Yeah, and someday when you're ready, you'll make it past the hedges.

JOEY: Yeah, and when you do, he'll be lucky to have you.

PHOEBE: You guys. I'm sorry about your shopping.

CHANDLER: Oh, that's OK, we'll figure something out.

JOEY: Uh, listen Phoebs, I know you're not goin' in there but do you think it'd be alright if I went in and used his bathroom? Oh, that's fine, never mind. Cool, snow, kinda like a blank canvas.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around after the party. Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter.]

CHANDLER: Ho, ho, ho, holy crap is it hot in here!

JOEY: Really, hey, you mind if I turn the heat down?

MONICA: Hey, we could have used that kind of thinkin' earlier.

ROSS: Hey, Phoebs, how'd it go.

PHOEBE: Oh, I couldn't go in.

MONICA: Honey, I'm sorry.

ROSS: Are you OK?

PHOEBE: Yeah, yeah, no it's OK 'cause, I mean, I know he's there, so, that's enough for now.

CHANDLER: Hey, guys, it's after midnight, merry Christmas everyone. [Ross and Phoebe hug, Monica and Rachel hug, Chandler is left standing]

JOEY: Hey, Monica, the knob was broken so I just turned it off from underneath, I hope that's alright.

CLOSING TITLES

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.]

JOEY: Rach, these are for you.

RACHEL: Wiper blades. I don't even have a car.

JOEY: No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do.

CHANDLER: OK, Phoebs, your turn.

PHOEBE: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?

JOEY: Uh-huh.

PHOEBE: You guuuyys.

JOEY: And for Ross, Mr. Sweet-tooth.

ROSS: You got me a cola drink?

CHANDLER: And, a lemon lime.

ROSS: Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater.

CHANDLER: And last but not least.

[Chandler and Joey give Monica a pack of condoms.]

JOEY: They're ribbed for your pleasure.

[Ross and Monica trade their gifts.]

END

裸体的丑男人在装饰他的树

天啊你该瞧瞧他圣诞球多大

你们今年给管理员多少红包?

是啊,我们打算给50,

不过我们不想显得此你们小器

今年我们送他自己做的饼干

那就包25块好了

你们送他饼干?

给钱太见外了

饼干表示我们关心他

好吧,我们没钱但饼干也能表达这个意思

我了解

曾有盘巧克力糕对我打过油诗

菲此,请问你那些巧克力糕有问题吗?

你知道吗?我想那里面有大麻

两位,你们还送了谁饼干?

邮差,管理员…

还有那个送报纸的

天哪

怎么了?

你们可能不会高兴看到这个

天哪,饼干糊在运动版呢

看,在我的字谜那里也是

对,但是错误百出,除非横十四的”葛许温音乐剧”…

是叫”咬我,咬我,咬我”

真不敢相信圣诞节又到了

我们才刚吃完了感恩火鸡…

转眼呢现在又到了呆鹅下蛋的圣诞节

所以每年的这个时候鹅才会感觉到很轻松

各位

瑞秋

我买了一个小礼物给你

我来拆

是个小司令

记得吗?

什么走下楼梯,单独或成双

大家都知道是…

只是一个大弹簧

好吧,你还在生我的气就为了…

那张不跟我在一起的理由的可恶单子?

从现在起我们称那为”那不幸的事件”怎么样?

阿刚,你家里有没有楼梯?

去疯吧

各位

袋子里有什么?

只是些礼物啦

快拿出来瞧瞧啊

少装了

好吧,你们看这是班送给我父母的相框

很可爱

我买”她的”跟”她的”毛巾给苏珊跟凯洛

还有,买了这件衬衫给妈

罗斯,好漂亮哦

瞧瞧这些假徽章

妈会像在”伪军校”里面…

…会得到”最佳服装奖”的菲菲

圣诞前夕的前夕4央乐

我的天哪,这哪儿来的?

梅西百货三楼,家饰部

这是我爸爸

这是我爸爸的照片

菲此,那是相框附送的相片

不,这是我爸爸好,我拿给你们看

菲此,我以为你爸在牢里

不,那是我继父

我真正的爸是我出生以前就跑了的那个

你怎么会没上过谈话秀啊?

瞧,这就是他

我妈在死前给了我这张照片同一个人来的

这是一张相框模特儿…

…跟一只柯利狗站在浅蓝背景前的照片

那不是蓝背景,那是…

也许那天万里晴空吧

我得跟我奶奶谈一谈

等一下,菲此

我在设法弄我老板的前任老婆上床

菲此有问题时大家都洗耳恭听

李爱瑟

嗝屁了

丫头

奶奶,你在干嘛?

我在改电话簿

奶奶?

我可以再看一次我爸的照片吗?

当然,当然了

为什么?

我只是突然想看一看

好,来

这是你爸站在草地上的照片

他…帮一个小男孩放风筝

这一张是他的毕业典礼

再一张的毕业典礼

他真的是我爸爸吗?

他真的是你爸…?

天哪,他当然是

我看这很有问题或许有人在说谎

我们两个当祖孙这么多年了…

…你从没有对我撒过谎

好吧,他不是你爸爸他只是一个相框里的男人

那是你妈的主意

她不想让你知道谁是你爸…

…因为他的离去让你妈很伤心

我本来也不想跟着她骗你

可是她死了那样跟她争辩就太难了

不是不可能,只是更难

那他不是一个有名的树医罗?

他也不住在没有电话的缅甸茅屋里头罗?

我听说他在纽约州某个地方当药剂师

那没有道理

村民干嘛去崇拜一个药剂师呢?

亲爱的

反正呢,我所知道的就这么多

…是真正的他了

我记得我爸爸他穿了一身火红的衣服…

…黑色的大靴子还有漆皮皮带…

…在楼下鬼鬼祟祟的他不想被任何人发现…

…可是他醉得摇摇晃晃然后撞东撞西把大家都吵醒

听起来不像是个快乐的圣诞节

谁说是圣诞节来着?

有没有菲此的消息?

没有

希望她没事

是呀,我完全了解她的处境

你怎么会完全了解她的处境?

她告诉我们的嘛

摩妮卡,你买了什么?

派对要用的东西

你们还在这里干嘛你们不是该去买礼物了吗?

你们礼物还没买好吗?

明天就是圣诞夜了你们要怎么办?

不是黏土动昼里面的人才会那么说的吗?

对了,摩妮卡我想邮差不欣赏你的饼干

这是你妈寄来的装饰品

说不定他喜欢我的饼干只是他嫌少了

摩妮卡,鸽子都学得此你快

瑞秋

我想我知道怎么样让你好过点了

你列张关于我的清单如何?

什么?算了吧,罗斯我怎么会…

好,我告诉你…

…你爱发牢骚,爱钻牛角尖没有安全感…

…你根本就没种

你从来不知道怎么把握时机

你暗恋我多久了?一年结果你一个屁也没放

还有,你头发涂了太多发胶了

你听我的了

对呀,你知道吗?你说得对,我觉得好多了

谢了,罗斯

麻烦你查一查巴法尔的电话

以奇卡呢?

好吧,沙拉托加?

翁尼昂塔?

好吧,你知道吗?你没有资格自称查号台

奶奶请问这是不是你的真姓名?

好了,丫头,别跟我生气了

进行得怎么样了?不太好

纽约州蛮大的,他蛮小的你自己算吧

我想没找到他对你还比较好

我知道他是你爸爸

但是对我而言…

…他是那个让你妈怀孕又偷她的车子,不负责的混球

我知道啊只是想知道他是谁而已

我说我不知道他住在哪里…

…是有点骗你

什么意思?

他住在米德城罗瑞街74号

要是看到黛莉冰淇淋就过头了

开我的车去吧

谢了

我的计程车别让别人开啊知道了

我要见到我爸爸了

谢谢

好吧,祝我好运了,爷爷

菲此开计程车来了吗?

来了,那是一辆隐形车

上车吧

她最好快一点服饰店七点就关门了

安啦,我想菲此去她爸那儿大概两个小时…

…他们见面,聊天交换生活故事

还有很多时间的

她来了

你们相信吗?

再两个小时我就有爸爸了

是呀,大事哦

对呀,走吧

好,你来拿着这个

左煞车,右加速?

对,我的小抄

安全带呢?

被救护人员剪开了

告诉我嘛,拜托…

这是第十六次了:不,我不认为你钻牛角尖

天哪,这里怎么这么热啊麻烦把暖气关小

罗斯,把暖气关小

两个之间是有差别…

罗斯,暖气

好,暖气…还说我钻牛角尖?

好吧,往这边是开

往这边是…

往这边是…

你是否把暖气机弄坏了?

没有,我不过是转了开关…

…结果就掉了

那就装回去啊

装不回去了

我打电话给管理员

来,我来试试

对了我忘了你融合金属的能力了

好笑的相反…

…不好笑

崔先生?

我是楼上的林瑞秋

对,有人弄坏我们暖气的开关了…

对,热到可以烤饼干了

你想你能在六点以前换好吗?

什么?不,不,星期二我们等不到那个时候

我们今晚有派对

好吧,给他小费

不,不喜欢我们的饼干就算了吧

我才不要任人勒索呢

这里有点热…

…就改成主题派对好了

这下有主题了:”请进,像热窝上的蚂蚁吧”

就是这里了

74号

长途跋涉为这个

就是这里了我要见到我爸爸了

这真是前所未有的大事

说得没错

好了,我要进去了

好了,我走了

我走了

我要走了

欢迎光临我们的热带圣诞派对

外套,毛衣,长裤跟衬杉请放在卧室里面

我在冒汗,所以看不出来…

…佄彝耆

颗豆子大小的份量而已那怎么会太多呢?

冰块?

谁要冰块?拿张餐巾

摩妮卡?摩妮卡?

你的客人都快变成人干了

真的?我觉得舒服得很

排队呀,兄弟,换我了

崔先生

你说有派对啊?

欢迎光临三温暖

很热吗?我从来不觉得热

说不定是因为我皮肤多了

起土

好吧,好吧,机会来了摩妮卡,给他现金

瑞秋,把你的耳环给他快啊,任何东西都给他

不,我不屈服

对,我也是

好吧…你说我从不把握机会?

他虽然是你们的管理员我也要把握一下

崔先生?

这里是50块钱,圣诞快乐

我没有准备你的礼物

送你5块钱好了

不,那是你的圣诞红包

你认为你可不可以现在把暖气给修好?

没办法,我已经说过了…

…星期二才拿得到新的开关

罗斯?

看来他很僵硬哦

你要说强硬吗?

随便啦

你打算怎么样呢?

抱歉,我要把握一下

崔先生?

我再给你五十

祝你圣诞节快乐

这样我们是不是可以拿到新的开关了呢?

不行那家店星期二才会开门

我的发音不标准吗?

你真的喜欢我的饼干吗?

是呀,那好温暖哦真的表示你的关心

把握得好…

…发胶兄

这是懈寄生,没错吧?

…叫九层塔

如果是懈寄生,我就要亲你了

不,那还是九层塔

火炉上烤粟子

雪人在啃你的鼻子

你走到哪里啊?信箱

有进步了

菲此,你怎么了?

其实原因很多啦

昨天,我爸爸他还是一个名间遐迩的缅甸树医

可是他现在却变成一个药剂师了…

或许他是一个很酷的药剂师也说不定

对,或许,对然后我会跑去敲他的门…

…他会拥抱我,我会有个爸爸

然后大家都会亲切地对待我…

…因为我是法兰的女儿

那就快去敲门哪

因为如果他没有那么棒呢?

如果他还是那个抛妻弃子的浑球呢?

你知道吗?

我这个礼拜已经失去一个假爸爸了

我不想再失去一个真的爸爸

菲菲,没关系啦你已经跨了一大步了

有一天当你准备好的时候你就会越过那片篱笆了

那个时候他会有幸得到你

抱歉,你们来不及购物了

没关系,会有办法的

我知道你不要进去…

…不过你想我可不可以进去跟他借一下洗手间?

没关系,算了

酷耶,下雪了

像空白的昼布

这里面好热啊

介意我把暖气关小吗?

我们怎么都没想到呢

菲菲,结果怎么样?

我没有办法进去

好可惜喔

好,没关系因为我知道他在哪儿

现在只要那样就够了

各位,过了十二点了祝大家圣诞快乐

圣诞快乐

开关坏了·,

…所以我从下面关掉了希望不会有问题

瑞秋,送你的

汽车雨刷

我连车都没有

对呀,

菲菲,换你了

马桶纸垫啊

我去加油的时候你们就去买这个吗?

你们两个真好

至于罗斯…

…甜食先生

你们送我一瓶可乐?

还有柠檬莱姆饮料

简直太…太厚礼了吧我应该再送你们一件毛衣

还有一个很有价值的…

加纹让你更有快感


 

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