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老友记第二季The One Where Joey Moves Out

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The One Where Joey Moves Out

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting at the bar, in their bathrobes, eating cereal]

JOEY: Man this is weird. You ever realize Captain Crunch's eyebrows are actually on his hat?

CHANDLER: That's what's weird? Joey, the man's been captain of a cereal for the last 40 years.

[Joey finishes his cereal, licks his spoon, and puts it back in the silverware drawer.]

CHANDLER: Waaa-aaah.

JOEY: What?

CHANDLER: The spoon. You licked and-and you put. You licked and you put.

JOEY: Yeah, so.

CHANDLER: Well don't you see how gross that is? I mean that's like you using my toothbrush. [Joey gets a sheepish look] You used my toothbrush?

JOEY: Well, that was only 'cause I used the red one to unclog the drain.

CHANDLER: Mine is the red one! Oh God. Can open, worms everywhere.

JOEY: Hey, why can't we use the same toothbrush, but we can use the same soap?

CHANDLER: Because soap is soap. It's self-cleaning.

JOEY: Alright, well next time you take a shower, think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash.

OPENING TITLES

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Phoebe are sitting at the table, Joey and Chandler enter.]

CHANDLER: Hey.

MONICA and PHOEBE: Hey.

JOEY: Hey.

PHOEBE: Ooh, look at you fancy lads. What's the occasion?

JOEY: Well, you know that guy that's on my show that's in a coma? He's havin' a brunch.

PHOEBE: Ahh.

RACHEL: [enters from her room] OK, ready when you are.

PHOEBE: Okey-doke.

MONICA: I can't believe you guys are actually getting tattoos.

CHANDLER: Excuse me, you guys are getting tattoos?

RACHEL: Yes, but you can not tell Ross 'cause I want to surprise him.

JOEY: Wow, this is wild. What're you gonna get?

PHOEBE: Um, I'm getting a lily for my Mom. 'Cause her name's Lily.

CHANDLER: Wow, that's lucky. What if her name was Big Ugly Splotch?

JOEY: So where you gettin' it?

PHOEBE: I think on my shoulder. [Ross enters]

ROSS: What? What's on your shoulder?

PHOEBE: Um, a chip. A tattoo, I'm getting a tattoo.

ROSS: A tattoo? Why, why would you want to do that? [to Rachel] Hi.

RACHEL: Hi. Well hey, you don't - you don't think they're kind of cool?

ROSS: No, sorry I don't. Tell me why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? What if it doesn't come out right Phoebe? Then it's like, I don't know, havin' a bad hair cut all the time. Why's everyone staring at me?

MONICA: Ross, come sign this birthday card for dad. Rich is gonna be here any minute.

CHANDLER: Oooh, Rich is goin' to the party too, huh?

MONICA: Well, he's my parents' best friend, he has to be there.

JOEY: Oh, is today the day you're gonna tell them about you two?

MONICA: Yeah. It's my dad's birthday, I decided to give him a stroke.

PHOEBE: No, I think you should tell them.

MONICA: No, I don't even know how serious he is about me. Until I do, I'm not telling them anything.

ROSS: I don't know, I don't think mom and dad would mind. Remember when you were 9 and Richard was 30, how dad used to say, 'God I hope they get together.'

[Scene: The Gellers' house. Monica, Ross, and Richard are arriving to Mr. Gellers birthday party.]

ROSS: Alright, shall we?

MONICA: OK, wait, wait, wait, wait. You know what? Ross, let's - let's switch places. You get in the middle. No un-, ya know, unless this looks like we're trying to cover something up.

ROSS: Monica, Monica, you could come in straddling him, they still wouldn't believe it. [opens door] We're here.

MRS. GELLER: Oh hi kids. Hi darling.

MONICA: Happy birthday dad.

MR. GELLER: Oh thank you.

ROSS: Hi ma.

RICHARD: Happy birthday.

MRS. GELLER: Well, you kids thank Dr. Burke for the ride?

ROSS: Uh, actually mom, I think Monica thanked him for the both of us.

[Scene: The Gellers' kitchen. Monica, Mrs. Geller and one of Mrs. Geller's friends are preparing the cake.]

FRIEND: Well, you kids take the train in?

MRS. GELLER: No, Richard Burke gave them a ride.

FRIEND: Oh. Speaking of whom, I hear he's got some 20-year-old twinkie in the city. [Monica sprays whipped cream all over the place]

MONICA: Finger cramp. Oh God, sorry. Here, let me get that mom.

MRS. GELLER: Sooo, Richard's shopping in the junior section.

MONICA: Are we still on that?

MRS. GELLER: We just know she's got the IQ of a napkin.

FRIEND: She's probably not even very pretty, just young enough so that everything is still pointing up. [Monica folds her arms over her breasts]

[Scene: Joey's co-star's apartment. Chandler and Joey are at the brunch.]

JOEY: Can you believe this place?

CHANDLER: I know, this is a great apartment.

JOEY: Ah, I was just in the bathroom, and there's mirrors on both sides of you. So when you're in there it's like you're peein' with the Rockettes.

CHANDLER: Wow, there's my fantasy come true. No, seriously.

JOEY'S CO-STAR: Hey.

JOEY: Hey! We were just sayin', great apartment man.

JOEY'S CO-STAR: Thanks. You want it?

JOEY: Huh?

JOEY'S CO-STAR: Yeah, I'm movin' to a bigger place. You should definitely take this one.

JOEY: Yeah, can you see me in a place like this?

JOEY'S CO-STAR: Why not? You hate park views and high ceilings? C'mon I'll show you the kitchen.

CHANDLER: [being left behind] Oh that's all right fellas, I saw a kitchen this morning - on TV. Stop talking. OK.

[Scene: Mr. Geller's party. Mr. Geller and a friend are questioning Richard while Ross observes.]

MR. GELLER: C'mon, tell us.

FRIEND: Yeah, is she really 20.

RICHARD: I am not telling you guys anything.

MR. GELLER: C'mon Rich, it's my birthday, let me live vicariously.

ROSS: Dad, you really don't want to do that.

MR. GELLER: Ahh, what's a little mid-life crisis between friends?

RICHARD: Jack, would you let it go?

MR. GELLER: Look, I know what you're going through. When I turned 50 I got the Porsche. You... you got your own little speedster.

RICHARD: Guys. Seriously, it is not like that.

MR. GELLER: Tell you what, maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I cou. . .

ROSS: Dad, I beg you not to finish that sentence.

MR. GELLER: What? I'm kidding. You know I'd never let him touch the Porsche.

[Scene: Tattoo parlor. Phoebe and Rachel are deciding on tattoos.]

PHOEBE: OK Rach, which, which lily? This lily or that lily?

RACHEL: Well I. . .

PHOEBE: I like this lily. It's more open, ya know, and that's like my mom. She had a more open, giving spirit. Ooh, Foghorn Leghorn, ooh.

TATTOO ARTIST: Alright, blonde girl, you're in room two, not so blonde girl, you're with me.

PHOEBE: Here we go.

RACHEL: [reluctantly] Uh-huh.

PHOEBE: You're not going?

RACHEL: Uh-huh.

PHOEBE: What? Is it - is this 'cause of what Ross said?

RACHEL: No. Well, yeah, maybe.

PHOEBE: I don't believe this. Is this how this relationship's gonna work? Ross equals boss. I mean, c'mon what is this, 1922?

RACHEL: What's 1922?

PHOEBE: Just, you know, long time ago. Well, when men used to tell women what to do - a lot. And then there was suffrage, which is a good thing but is sounds horrible. Do you want to get this tattoo?

RACHEL: Yes I do, it's just that Ross is. . .

PHOEBE: OK, hey, HEY. Is your boyfriend the boss of you?

RACHEL: No.

PHOEBE: OK, who is the boss of you?!!

RACHEL: You?

PHOEBE: No. You are the boss of you. Now you march your heinie in there and get that heart tattooed on your hip. GO!!

[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica is in the bathroom and Richard comes in.]

RICHARD: How ya doin'?

MONICA: I'm a twinkie.

RICHARD: Really? I'm a hero.

MONICA: Oh, this is so hard.

RICHARD: Yeah, I know. I hate it too. Look, maybe we should just tell them.

MONICA: Maybe we should just tell your parents first.

RICHARD: My parents are dead.

MONICA: God, you are so lucky. I mean, I mean. . . you know what I mean.

RICHARD: I know, I know. Just hang in there, OK. OK, I'll go out first, alright.

MONICA: Alright.

RICHARD: [walks out of the bathroom and runs into Mrs. Geller who is going to the bathroom] Judy, going to the bathroom, good for you.

MRS. GELLER: Thank you Richard, I appreciate the support.

[Monica jumps in the shower. Right after Mrs. Geller enters the bathroom, Mr. Geller peeks his head in.]

MR. GELLER: Honey. Honey, have you seen my Harmon Kilerbrew bat? Bob doesn't believe I have one.

MRS. GELLER: I have no idea. Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city?

MR. GELLER: I know. He's like a new man. It's like a scene from Cocoon.

MRS. GELLER: I just never would have pictured Richard with a bimbo.

MR. GELLER: Apparently, he told Johnny Shapiro that she's quite a girl. In fact, he told Johnny that he thinks he's falling in love with her.

MRS. GELLER: Really.

MR. GELLER: I tell you, I've never seen him this happy.

MRS. GELLER: So Jack, you ever think about trading me in for a younger model?

MR. GELLER: Of course not. With you it's like I've got two 25-year-olds.

MRS. GELLER: [they start kissing] Oh Jack stop.

MR. GELLER: C'mon, it's my birthday.

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are returning from their brunch.]

JOEY: Can we drop this? I am not interested in the guy's apartment.

CHANDLER: Oh please, I saw the way you were checking out his mouldings. You want it.

JOEY: Why would I want another apartment, huh? I've already got an apartment that I love.

CHANDLER: Well it wouldn't kill you to say it once in a while.

JOEY: Alright, you want the truth? I'm thinkin' about it.

CHANDLER: What?

JOEY: I'm sorry. I'm 28 years old, I've never lived alone, and I'm finally at a place where I've got enough money that I don't need a roommate anymore.

CHANDLER: Woah, woah, woah. I don't need a roommate either, OK? I can afford to live here by myself. Ya know, I may have to bring in somebody once a week to lick the silverware.

JOEY: What're you gettin' so bent out of shape for, huh? It's not like we agreed to live together forever. We're not Bert and Ernie.

CHANDLER: Look, you know what? If this is the way you feel, then maybe you should take it.

JOEY: Well that's how I feel.

CHANDLER: Well then maybe you should take it.

JOEY: Well then maybe I will.

CHANDLER: Fine with me.

JOEY: Great. Then you'll be able to spend more quality time with your real friends, the spoons.

[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Mr. and Mrs. Geller enter looking particularly refreshed. Monica follows looking rather pale.]

MR. GELLER: Who's drink can I freshen?

MRS. GELLER: Almost time for cake.

ROSS: Mon, Mon, are you OK?

MONICA: You remember that video I found of mom and dad?

ROSS: Yeah.

MONICA: Well, I just caught the live show.

ROSS: Eww.

[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica and Richard are alone in the kitchen.]

MONICA: Hey there.

RICHARD: What?

MONICA: Nothing, I just heard something nice about you.

RICHARD: Humm, really?

[Mrs. Geller and Ross both enter]

MRS. GELLER: Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?

RICHARD: Uhh, not that I know of.

MRS. GELLER: Well, I was thinking, why doesn't he give Monica a call?

RICHARD: That - that's an idea.

MONICA: Well, actually, I'm already seeing someone.

MRS. GELLER: Oh?

RICHARD: Oh?

ROSS: Ohh.

MRS. GELLER: She never tells us anything. Ross, did you know Monica's seeing someone?

ROSS: Mom, there are so many people in my life. Some of them are seeing people and some of them aren't. Is that crystal?

MRS. GELLER: So, who's the mystery man?

MONICA: Well, uh, he's a doctor.

MRS. GELLER: A real doctor?

MONICA: No, a doctor of meat. Of course he's a real doctor. And he's handsome, and he's sweet, and know you'd like him. [she puts her arm around Richard]

MRS. GELLER: Well that's wonderful. . . I

MONICA: Mom, it's OK.

RICHARD: It is Judy.

MRS. GELLER: Jack. Could you come in here for a moment? NOW!

MR. GELLER: [enters with his bat] Found it.

ROSS: I'll take that dad. [grabs the bat]

MRS. GELLER: It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item.

MR. GELLER: That's impossible, he's got a twinkie in the city.

MONICA: Dad, I'm the twinkie.

MR. GELLER: You're the twinkie?

RICHARD: She's not a twinkie.

MONICA: Al-alright, l-look you guys, this is the best relationship I've been in. . .

MRS. GELLER: Oh please, a relationship.

MONICA: Yes, a relationship. For your information I am crazy about this man.

RICHARD: Really?

MONICA: Yes.

MR. GELLER: Am I supposed to stand here and listen to this on my birthday?

MONICA: Dad, dad this is a good thing for me. Ya know, and you even said yourself, you've never seen Richard happier.

MR. GELLER: When did I say that?

MONICA: Upstairs in the bathroom right before you felt up mom.

[Everyone else enters and all start singing Happy Birthday.]

[Scene: Tattoo parlor. Rachel is showing Phoebe her tattoo.]

PHOEBE: Oh that looks so good, oh I love it.

RACHEL: I know, so do I. Oh Phoebe, I'm so glad you made me do this. OK, lemme se yours.

PHOEBE: Ahh. OK, let's see yours again.

RACHEL: Phoebe we just saw mine, let me see yours.

PHOEBE: Oh OK. [pulls over her shirt and shows a bare shoulder] Oh no, oh it's gone, that's so weird, I don't know how-where it went.

RACHEL: You didn't get it?

PHOEBE: No.

RACHEL: Why didn't you get it?

PHOEBE: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

RACHEL: Phoebe, how would you do this to me? This was all your idea.

PHOEBE: I know, I know, and I was gonna get it but then he came in with this needle and uh, di-, did you know they do this with needles?

RACHEL: Really? You don't say, because mine was licked on by kittens.

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is at the bar and Joey enters.]

JOEY: Hey.

CHANDLER: Hey.

JOEY: Hey listen, I'm sorry about what happened. . .

CHANDLER: Yeah me too.

JOEY: I know. Yeah.

CHANDLER: Yeah. So do we need to hug here or. . .

JOEY: No, we're alright.

CHANDLER: So I got ya something. [tosses Joey a bag of plastic spoons]

JOEY: Plastic spoons. Great.

CHANDLER: Lick away my man.

JOEY: These'll go great in my new place. You know, 'till I get real ones.

CHANDLER: What?

JOEY: Well, I can't use these forever. I mean, let's face it, they're no friend to the environment.

CHANDLER: No-no, I mean what, what's this about your new place?

JOEY: I'm movin' out like we talked about.

CHANDLER: Well I didn't think that was serious. [grabs the spoons back] Ya know I thought that was just a fight.

JOEY: Well, it was a fight. . . based on serious stuff, remember. About how I never lived alone or anything. I just think it would be good for me, ya know, help me to grow or. . . whatever.

CHANDLER: Well, there you go.

JOEY: Hey, are you cool with this. I mean, I don't want to leave you high and dry.

CHANDLER: Hey, no, I've never been lower or wetter. I'll be fine. I'll just turn your, uh, bedroom into a game room or somethin', you know, put the foosball table in there.

JOEY: Woah. Why do you get to keep the table?

CHANDLER: I did pay for half of it.

JOEY: Yeah. And uh, I paid for the other half.

CHANDLER: Alright I'll tell you what, I'll play you for it.

JOEY: Alright, you're on. I can take two minutes out of my day to kick your ass.

CHANDLER: Your little men are gonna get scored on more times than your sister.

JOEY: Woah, woah, woah, woah. Which sister?

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are setting the table.]

MONICA: So, are you sorry that I told them?

RICHARD: No, it's been a long time since your dad and I went running.

[Rachel and Phoebe enter]

RACHEL: Oh.

MONICA: Oh. Well did you get it? Let me see.

RACHEL: Is Ross here?

MONICA: No he went out to get pizza.

RACHEL: Oh really, OK. [shows Monica her tattoo]

MONICA: That's great.

RICHARD: Very tasteful.

PHOEBE: Wanna see mine, wanna see mine?

MONICA: Yes.

RACHEL: What? You didn't get one.

PHOEBE: OK, well then what is this? [shows her bare shoulder]

RICHARD: What're we looking at? That blue freckle?

PHOEBE: OK, that's my tattoo.

RACHEL: That is not a tattoo, that is a nothing. I finally got her back in the chair, bairly touched her with a needle, she jumped up screaming, and that was it.

PHOEBE: OK, hi. For your information this is exactly what I wanted. This is a tattoo of the earth as seen from a great distance. It's the way my mother sees me from heaven.

RACHEL: Oh, what a load of crap. That is a dot. Your mother is up in heaven going, 'Where the hell is my lily, you wuss?' OK, Phoebe, that is not a tattoo, this is a tattoo. [she bends over and bears her tattoo right when Ross returns]

ROSS: You got a tattoo?

RACHEL: Maybe. But just a little one. Phoebe got the whole world.

ROSS: Lemme see. [looks]

RACHEL: Well?

ROSS: Well it's really. . . sexy. I wouldn't have thought it would be but. . . wow.

RACHEL: Really?

ROSS: Yeah, so uh, is it sore or can you do stuff?

RACHEL: I guess.

ROSS: Hey, save us some pizza. [they go off to Rachel's room]

[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing foosball for the table.]

JOEY: Get out of the corner. Pass it, pass it.

CHANDLER: Stop talkin' to your men. [Joey scores]

JOEY: Yes! And the table is mine.

CHANDLER: Congratulations. [Chandler leaves]

[Scene: Chandler's apartment. The whole gang is helping Joey pack.]

JOEY: Hey, you guys are still gonna come visit me, right?

CHANDLER: Oh yeah, you got the big TV. We'll be over there all the time. . . [Chandler gives him a look] except when we are here.

PHOEBE: I know you're just moving uptown but I'm really gonna miss you.

MONICA: I know, how can you not be accross the hall anymore.

RACHEL: Yeah, who's gonna eat all our food, and tie up our phone lines, and - is that my bra? What the hell you doin' with my bra?

JOEY: Oh no-no, it's uh, it's not what you think. We uh, we used it to, you know, fling water balloons off the roof. Remember that, those junior high kids couldn't even get theirs accross the street.

CHANDLER: [quietly] Yeah, I remember.

ROSS: Hey, let's bring the rest of these down to the truck.

[Everyone except Joey and Chandler leave.]

CHANDLER: So, uhh, em, you want me to uh, give you a hand with the foosball table?

JOEY: Naa, you keep it, you need the practice.

CHANDLER: Thanks.

JOEY: So, I guess this is it.

CHANDLER: Yeah, right, yeah, I guess so.

[Joey walks to the door. He stops, turns around.]



JOEY: Listen, uh, I don't know when I'm gonna see you again.

CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing uh, tonight at the coffee house.

JOEY: Right, yeah. OK. Um, take care.

CHANDLER: Yeah.

[Joey walks out and after a few seconds comes back in and gives Chandler a big hug. He then leaves for good and Chandler is left alone in his apartment.]

CLOSING CREDITS

END

老兄,这好畸形哦
你知不知道脆脆上尉的眉毛长在帽子上?
那叫畸型?
乔伊,那家伙当了四十年早餐片的上尉
怎样?
汤匙,你舔完放回去
你舔完放回去
所以呢?
你看不出那很呕心吗?那就像你用我的牙刷一样
你用我的牙刷?
那是因为我用红的那只去通排水孔嘛
红色是我的
发就不可收拾了
为什么牙刷不能共用…
…肥皂就可以共用?
因为肥皂是肥皂,会自我清洁
好吧,下一次你洗澡的时候…
…想想我什么最后洗跟你什么最先洗
瞧你们打扮的
有什么大事?
知道我节目里那个演昏迷不醒的?
他要请我吃饭
就等你了,好的
真不敢相信你们真的要去刺青了
你们要去刺青?
对,不能告诉罗斯我要给他一个惊喜
好狂野哦,你们要刺什么?
我要刺一朵百合
因为我妈就叫百合
真幸运她要是叫大污点怎么办?
那你们要刺哪里?我想在我眉上
什么?
什么在你眉上?
重担
是刺青,我要去刺青啦刺青?
你为什么要那么做?
你不觉得那酷吗?
不,抱歉,我不觉得
怎么会有人花钱去搞个一辈子的伤痕?
万一要是刺得不好呢?
那不是变成永远在”我头发剪丑了”吗?
大家为什么都瞪着我?
罗斯,过来签给爸的生日卡理查随时会到
理查也要去参加派对?
他是我父母最好的朋友他必须去
那你打算今天告诉他们你们的事吗?
对,我爸的生日我决定送他中风
不,你应该告诉他们
我还不知道他对我有多认真在搞清楚之前,我什么也不说
我不知道,我想他们不会介意
记得你九岁理查三十岁的时,爸常说…
…”天啊真希望他们在一起”
好了,进去吧

你知道吗?
罗斯,我们换位置你来站中间
不,这看起来像我们想隐瞒什么
摩妮卡,就算你骑着他进去他们也不会相信的
我们来了
孩子们,是孩子们
生日快乐,爸爸谢谢
生日快乐
你们谢过柏大夫载你们来了吗?
妈,事实上摩妮卡帮我们两个谢过了
你们搭火车来吗?
不,柏理查载他们来的
谈到他呀...
…听说他在城里有个二十岁的幼齿
手指抽筋,抱歉
来,让我来,妈
理查在青少年部”购物”
还在讲那个吗?
想也知道她的智商一定超低
说不定连漂亮都谈不上
只是够年轻所以一切都还没下垂
你相信这个地方吗?
我知道,这个公寓很棒
我刚去过浴室两边墙上都有镜子
尿尿的时候就好像有一排人在排排尿
我的梦想实现了
不,说真的
我们正在赞美你的公寓,老兄
谢了,你要吗?
我要搬去一个更大的
你真的应该租下来
你看我会住这种地方吗?
有何不可呢?你讨厌公园景观跟高天花板吗?
来吧,我带你去看厨房
不用了,兄弟我今早在电视上…
…看过一个厨房
不要再说了
来嘛,告诉我们对,她真只有二十?
你们休想这我说什么
来嘛,理查,今天是我生E让我过一下干瘾嘛
爸,你真的不会想那样做
跟朋友分享一下你的中年危机嘛
杰克,你别说了,好吗?
我了解你在做什么我五十时买了部保时捷
你有自己的小”加速器”
各位,说真的,不是像那样这样吧
或许找个周末我车子借你,你的小…
爸,我求你不要说完那个句子
怎么?我在逗他
我才不会让他碰我的保时捷
阿秋
哪一朵百合?这一朵或那一朵?
我喜欢这朵
开得比较大,就像我妈
她有比较开放给子的精神
雾号麦杆
金发的,你去第二间
没那么金的,你跟我来
走吧
你不进去?
怎么了?是因为罗斯的话吗?
是啦,或许我真不敢相信
你们的关系这样维持吗?罗斯是老板?
少来了现在是1922年吗?
1922年有什么?
只是很久以前嘛
当时是女人很多事得听男人的时代
然后还有投票权那是件好事,佁
你到底要不要刺?
我要啊,只是罗斯他…
你男友是你的老板吗?
那好,谁是你的老板?
你?
不,你是你的老板
你现在给我进去把那颗红心刺上去

你怎么了?
我是个幼齿
真的?我是英雄
这好难哦
是呀,我知道,我也讨厌这样
听着,或许我们应该说出来
或许我们应该先告诉你父母
我父母死了
你真幸运
不,我是说,你懂我意思
忍耐一下,好吗?
我先出去,好吗?
芙蒂,上洗手间呀,有你的
谢谢,理查,很感激你的支持
蜜糖
你有没有看到我的奇哈蒙球棒老鲍不相信我有
我不知道
你知道理查在城里有个幼齿吗?
我知道,他像个全新的男人好像进了”魔茧”一样
我怎么也无法幻想理查和小笨妹在一起
显然他告诉沙强尼那个女孩不错
事实上,他告诉强尼他想他爱上她了
真的?告诉你,我没见他这么快乐过
杰克...
…你有没有想过拿我去换个年轻小妞儿?
当然没有
你不就等于两个二五佳人?
杰克,住手
来嘛
今天是我生日
别说了,好吗?
我对那家伙的公寓没兴趣
拜托,我看到你检查他房子装饰的样子
你想要
我干嘛要另外一个房子?
我已经有个我爱的房子了
是嘛,偶尔这样说说又不会死
好吧,想听实话吗?我的确在考虑
什么?抱歉
我今年28了从没自己住过…
…而我终于赚到足够的钱…
…可以让我不再需要室友
我也不需要室友啊
自己住这里我也负担得起
我或许一个礼拜得请一次人来舔我的餐具
你老兄火气干嘛那么大
我们又没说要永远住在一起
我们又不是连体婴
知道吗?
如果你这样觉得…
…那或许你应该搬去
我是那样觉得那或许你应该搬去
那或许我会
那好,很好
你就有多点时间跟你真正的朋友混…
…你的汤匙
谁还要加点饮料?
快要切蛋糕了
摩妮卡?你还好吗?
记得我发现爸妈的那卷录影带吗?
我刚看了现场秀
我刚看了现场秀
没什么我刚听到你的好话
真的?
你儿子现在没女朋友吧?据我所知,没有
我是在想…他何不打个电话给摩妮卡?
那…是个主意
事实上,我已经有男友了
是吗?
这孩子什么事都不讲
罗斯你知道摩妮卡有男友了吗?
妈,我周遭有好多好多人
有些人有男朋友,有些人没有
那是水晶的吗?
那个神秘男子是谁?
他是个医生
真正的医生?
不,他是研究肉的
他当然是真的医生
他很英俊
人很好我知道你会喜欢他
那太棒了
妈,没关系
没错,芙蒂
杰克
请你进来一下,好吗?
现在
现在
你女儿跟理查看来似乎是一对
那不可能,他在城里有个幼齿
爸,我是那个幼齿
你是那个幼齿?她不是个幼齿
好吧,听着,各位这是我有过最棒的关系…
拜托,关系?
对,关系
你们请听好我为这个男人疯狂
真的?
我生日还要站在这里听你说这些鬼话吗?
这是件好事,你自己也说你没见理查那么快乐过
我何时说的?
楼上的浴室啊,你摸妈之前
祝你生日快乐
祝你生日快乐
祝你生日快乐,杰克
祝你生日快乐
好漂亮哦,我好喜欢
我知道,我也是菲此,我好高兴你这我刺
让我看你的
再瞧瞧你的
菲此,我的才刚看过让我看你的
不...
不见了,好古怪哦
不知道去哪里了
你没刺?
你为什么没刺?
对不起…
菲此,你怎么可以这样对我?这全是你的主意
我知道…我本来是要刺的可是他拿着针走进来
你知道他们是用针刺的吗?
真的?真的吗?
因为我的是猫舔上去的
听着,今天的事我很抱歉…
我也是我知道
我们需要抱一下吗?
不,没关系
我有东西送你
塑胶汤匙
太棒了,舔吧,老兄
这在我的新家会很好用先应付应付
什么?
我不能永远用塑胶汤匙这不环保
不…我是说…你说什么新家?
我要搬出去,像我们谈过的
我不知道你是认真的
我以为我们只是在吵架
我们是在吵架
…有根有据的,记得吗?
关于我从没一个人住过
我只是想,这对我有好处帮我成长…
…之类的
那就是了
这你没问题吧?
我不想让你觉得被遗弃了
不,我也不会觉得更愉快的
我不要紧的我就把你的房间…
…改成游戏室之类的好了
把足球桌放在里面
那桌子为什么该归你?
我付了一半的钱
对,我付了另一半
这样吧,谁赢谁的
好呀,没问题
我可以抽出时间来痛宰你一顿
我得的分会此你妹被上过的次数还多
哪一个妹妹?
你后悔我告诉他们吗?
不,我跟你爸好久没去跑步了
你们刺了吗?给我看
罗斯在吗?不在,他去买披萨
下就好
好漂亮
很有品味
要看我的吗?…
什么?你又没刺
那这是什么?
我们在看什么?
那颗蓝雀斑?
那是我的刺青
那不是刺青,那什么也不是
我终于这她回去再刺…
…针根本都还没碰到她她就跳起来尖叫逃走

这正是我想要听到的
这是个从很远的地方看到的地球
我妈从天堂看到我就是这样的
真是狗屁一堆
那是一个点
你妈正在天堂上大叫”我的百合在哪里?狗熊”
菲此,那不是个刺青这才是个刺青
你去刺青了?
或许
只是个小的啦菲此刺了全世界
让我看看
怎样?
怎样?
性感
我没想到会这样,但
...哇
真的?
对,所以会酸痛吗?你可以活动吗?
可以吧
留些披萨给我们
别窝在角落
传球...
别跟你的人讲话
帅,桌子是我的了
恭喜了
你们还是会来看我,对吧?
会呀,你有大荧幕电视
我们会常常去的
除了在这里时
我知道你只是往北搬我还是会很想你的
你怎会不再是我的对门芳邻了?
是呀,谁来吃光我们的东西占用我们的电话…
那是我的胸罩吗?
你拿我的胸罩去干嘛?不…你想歪了
我们用那个来在屋顶上弹水球
记得吗?那些初中生连弹到对面都办不到
是呀,我记得
口引门把剩下的搬上卡车
你要我…
…帮你搬这个足球桌下去吗?
不了,你留着,你需要练习
谢了
所以...
…我猜就这样了
是呀,对
大概吧
我不知道我们何时会再见?
我猜今晚在咖啡馆?
对呀
保重了

 

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