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老友记第二季The One Where Eddie Won Go

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The One Where Eddie Won't Go

[Scene: Chandler's bedroom. Chandler is sleeping and Eddie is there watching him.]

[Chandler wakes up]

CHANDLER: Hey Eddie. Daahh!! What're you doin' here?

EDDIE: Nothin' roomie, just watchin' you sleep.

CHANDLER: Why?

EDDIE: Makes me feel um, peaceful, heh-heh, please.

CHANDLER: I can't sleep now.

EDDIE: You want me to sing?

CHANDLER: No, look, that's it, it's over, I want you out, I want you out of the apartment now.

EDDIE: Woah, woah, woah, what're, what're you talkin' about man.

CHANDLER: Hannibal Lecter...better roommate than you.

EDDIE: No. See now I don't think you're being fair. I mean one night you see me and you get scared, I mean, what about all the other nights when you don't see me, huh? What about last night when you went and got a drink of water and I was nice enough to hide behind the door, what's that about, huh?

CHANDLER: I didn't realize that.

EDDIE: Yeah.

CHANDLER: GET OUT NOW!!

EDDIE: Ok, you really want me out?

CHANDLER: Yes please.

EDDIE: Ok, then I want to hear you say it, I, I want to hear you say you want me out.

CHANDLER: I want you out.

EDDIE: No no no, I wanna hear it from your lips.

CHANDLER: Where did you hear it from before?

EDDIE: Oh, right, all right, you know what pallie I understand, consider me gone, you know what, I'll be out by the time you get home from work tomorrow.

[Eddie leaves the room and Chandler mouths "Thank you" to himself]

EDDIE: I heard that.

OPENING TITLES

[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Rachel are there, Joey enters wearing an old looking hat.]

JOEY: Hey.

MONICA: Hey.

RACHEL: Hey. Whe-ell, look at you, finally got that time machine workin' huh?

JOEY: Seriously, you like it? This guy was sellin' them on 8th avenue and I looked at 'em and I though, you know what I don't have?

MONICA: A mirror?

JOEY: Fine, make fun. I think it's jaunty.

MONICA: Wow, for a guy who's recently lost his job, you're in an awfully good mood.

JOEY: Hey, I'll be alright. I mean it's not like I'm starting from sqare one. I was Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives. Heh? I mean that's gotta have some kind of cache.

MONICA: Cache? Jaunty?

JOEY: Chandler gave me word of the day toilet paper. I'm gonna get some coffee.

[Phoebe enters]

PHOEBE: Hey.

MONICA: Hey.

RACHEL: Hey.

PHOEBE: Oooh, so so so, did you read the book?

MONICA: Oh my God, it was incredible.

PHOEBE: Didn't it like totally speak to you?

RACHEL: Woah, woah, woah, what book is this?

MONICA: Rachel you have to read this book. It's called Be Your Own Windkeeper. It's about how women need to become more empowered.

PHOEBE: Yeah and oh, and but there's, there's wind and the wind can make us Goddesses. But you know who takes out wind? Men, they just take it.

RACHEL: Men just take out wind?

PHOEBE: Ya-huh, all the time, cause they are the lightning bearers.

RACHEL: Wow.

PHOEBE: Yeah.

RACHEL: Well that sounds kinda cool, kinda like The Hobbit.

MONICA: It is nothing like the Hobbit. It's like reading about every relationship I've ever had, except for Richard.

PHOEBE: Oh yes, no, Richard would never steal your wind.

MONICA: No.

PHOEBE: No, 'cause he's yummy.

MONICA: Yes. But all the other ones.

PHOEBE: Oh yes. Oh and, the part about how they're always like drinking from out pool of inner power, but God forbid we should take a sip.

JOEY: Anybody want a croan.

PHOEBE: Ok, this is a typical lightning-bearer thing. Right there, it's like, um, 'Hello, who wants one of my fallic shaped man cakes?'

[Scene: Estelle Leonard Talent Agency.Joey is there.]

ESTELLE: Don't worry about it already. Things happen.

JOEY: So, you're not mad at me for getting fired and everything?

ESTELLE: Joey, look at me, look at me. Do I have lipstick on my teeth?

JOEY: No, can we get back to me?

ESTELLE: Look honey, people get fired left and right in this business. I already got you an audition for Another World.

JOEY: Alright. Cab driver number two?

ESTELLE: You're welcome.

JOEY: But I was Dr. Drake Remoray. How can I go from bein' a neurosurgeon to drivin' a cab?

ESTELLE: Things change, roll with em.

JOEY: But this is a two line part, it's like takin' a step backwards. I'm not gonna do this.

ESTELLE: Joey, I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Al Minser and his pyramid of dogs. Take any job you can get and don't make on the floor.

JOEY: I'm sorry. See ya.

[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are there. Rachel has just finished reading the book.]

RACHEL: Oh, God, oh, God, I mean it's just so.

MONICA: Isn't it.

RACHEL: Uhh, I mean this is like reading about my own life. I mean this book could have been called 'Be Your Own Windkeeper Rachel'.

PHOEBE: I don't think it would have sold a million copies but it would have made a nice gift for you.

ROSS: Hey you guys.

MONICA: Hey.

ROSS: Uh, sweetie we've gotta go.

RACHEL: NO!

ROSS: No?

RACHEL: No, why do we always have to do everything according to your time table?

ROSS: Actually it's the movie theatre that has the time schedule. So you don't miss the beginning.

RACHEL: No, see this isn't about the movie theatre, this is about you stealing my wind.

MONICA: You go girl. I can't pull that off can I?

ROSS: Excuse me, your, your, your wind?

RACHEL: Yes, my wind. How do you expect me to grow if you won't let me blow?

ROSS: You, you know I, I don't, have a- have a problem with that.

RACHEL: Ok, I just, I just really need to be with myself right now. I'm sorry.

PHOEBE: Um-um, um-um.

RACHEL: You're right, I don't have to apologize. Sorry. Damnit!

[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey and Ross enter.]

JOEY: What is it?

ROSS: I, I don't know, it's got all this stuff about wind and trees and there's some kind of sacred pool in it. I mean, I don't really get it but she's, she's pretty upset about it.

JOEY: See, this is why I don't date women who read. Uh-oh.

ROSS: What, what's that?

JOEY: It's my VISA bill. Envelope one of two. That can't be good.

ROSS: Open it, open in.

JOEY: Oh my God.

ROSS: Woah.

JOEY: Look at this, how did I spend so much money?

ROSS: Uh Joey, that's just the minumum amount due, that's your total due.

JOEY: Ahh.

ROSS: What, woah, woah, $3500 at porcelain safari?

JOEY: My animals. Hey the guy said they suited me, he spoke with an accent, I was all confused. I don't know what I'm gonna do.

ROSS: Well I guess you can start by drivin a cab on Another World.

JOEY: What?

ROSS: That audition.

JOEY: That's a two line part.

ROSS: Joey, you owe $1100 at I Love Lucite.

JOEY: So what.

ROSS: So suck it up man, it's a job, it's money.

JOEY: Hey, look, I don't need you getting all judgemental and condescending and pedantic.

ROSS: Toilet paper?

JOEY: Yeah.

ROSS: Look, I'm not being any of those things, ok, I'm just being realistic.

JOEY: Well knock it off, you're supposed to be my friend.

ROSS: I am your friend.

JOEY: Well then tell me things like, 'Joey you'll be fine,' and, 'Hang in there,' and, and, 'Somethin' big's fonna come along, I know it.'

ROSS: But I don't know it. What I do know is that you owe $2300 at Isn't it Chromantic.

JOEY: Hey Ross, I'm aware of what I owe.

ROSS: Ok, well then get some sense. I mean it took you what, 10 years to get that job, who knows how long it's gonna be till you get another.

JOEY: Look, I don't wanna hear this right now.

ROSS: Huh, I'm just saying...

JOEY: Well don't just say.

ROSS: Ya know, maybe, maybe I should just go.

JOEY: Ok.

ROSS: Ok. I'll see ya later. Just think about it, ok.

JOEY: I don't need to think about it. I was Dr. Drake Remoray. That was huge. Big things are gonna happen, you'll see. Ross, you still there?

[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler peeks in the door. He doesn't see Eddie so he enters, breathing a sigh of relief. Eddie pops up from behind the bar.]

EDDIE: Hey pal.

CHANDLER: Ahhhh-gaaaahhh. Eddie what're you still doin' here?

EDDIE: Ah, just some basic dehydrating of a few fruits and vegetables. MAN ALIVE this thing's fantastic!

CHANDLER: Look Eddie, aren't you forgetting anything?

EDDIE: Oh yeah, that's right, look I got us a new goldfish. He's a lot fiestier that the last one.

CHANDLER: Maybe 'cause the last one was made by Pepperidge Farm. Look Eddie, isn't there something else you're supposed to be doing right now?

EDDIE: Well, not unless it's got something to do with dehydrating my man because right now I'm a dehydrating maniac!

CHANDLER: Look you have to help me out here. I thought we had a deal. I thought by the time...

EDDIE: Ah-ah-ah, you know what that is?

CHANDLER: Your last roommate's kidney?

EDDIE: That's a tomato. This one definitely goes in the display.

[Scene: Central Perk. Joey goes up to the bar to order.]

JOEY: Hey Gunther, let me get a lemonade to go.

GUNTHER: Lemonade? You ok man?

JOEY: Ah, it's career stuff. I don't know if you heard but they killed off my character on the show.

GUNTHER: Oh, that's too bad. How'd they do it?

JOEY: I fell down an elevator shaft.

GUNTHER: That sucks. I was buried in an avalanche.

JOEY: What?

GUNTHER: I used to be Bryce on All My Children.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler is sleeping on the couch. Monica walks by and starts watching him.]

[Chandler wakes up]

CHANDLER: Daaahhhh!

MONICA: Aaahhhhhhh! Aaahhhh!

CHANDLER: Why must everybody watch me sleep? There'll be no more watching me sleep, no more watching.

MONICA: I wa-

CHANDLER: Uuuh.

[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is returning from Monica and Rachel's with his bedding. Eddie is standing at the bar with his dehydrator and loads of fruit.]

EDDIE: Hey man, check it out, I got some great stuff to dehydrate here. I got some grapes, got some apricots, I thought it would be really cool to see what happens with these water balloons.

CHANDLER: Get out. Get out, get out, get out, get out, get out, get out.

EDDIE: What?

CHANDLER: You, move out. Take your fruit, your stupid small fruit and GET OUT!

EDDIE: You, you want, you want me to move out?

CHANDLER: Uh-huh.

EDDIE: I uh, I gotta tell you man, I mean, that's uh, it's kinda out of the blue, I mean don't you think?

CHANDLER: This is not out of the blue, this is smack dab in the middle of the blue.

EDDIE: Ohhhh. Relax, take it easy buddy. Tell me twice, you want me to go? Alright, alright, guess I'll be back for my stuff. [walks out the door and after a pause comes back in] But if you think for one second I'm leaving you alone with my fish, you're insane Jack!

CHANDLER: You want some help.

EDDIE: No help required Chico. [reaches into the tank and grabs the fish and puts it in his pocket]

[Scene: Joey is at the cab driver interview.]

JOEY: All the way to the airport huh? You know that's over 30 miles, that's gonna cost you about so bucks.

CASTING GUY: Excuse me, that's 50 bucks.

JOEY: What?

CASTING GUY: Five oh dollars.

JOEY: Ohh, you know what it is? It's smudgy 'cause they're fax pages. Now when I was on Days of Our Lives as Dr. Drake Remoray, they'd send over the whole script on real paper and everything.

CASTING GUY: That's great.

JOEY: And, and just so you know, if you wanted to expand this scene like, like have the cab crash or somethin', I could attend to the victims 'cause I have a background in medical acting.

CASTING GUY: Ok, listen, thanks for coming in.

JOEY: No no, uh, don't thank me for comin' in. Uh, at least let me finish. Uh, we could take the expressway but uh, this time of day you're better off taking the budge. You were goin' for the word bridge there weren't ya. I'll have a good day. [gets up and leaves]

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the coffee table.]

PHOEBE: Ok, question number 28, have you ever allowed a lighning bearer to take your wind? I would have to say no.

MONICA: And I would have to say pah-huh.

PHOEBE: What?

MONICA: Do you not remember the puppet guy?

RACHEL: Yeah you like totally let him wash his feet in the pool of your inner power.

MONICA: And his puppet too.

PHOEBE: Yeah ok, well at least I didn't let some guy into the forest of my righteous truth on the first date.

MONICA: Who?

PHOEBE: Paul.

MONICA: Oh.

RACHEL: Ok, ok, ok, moving on, moving on, next question. Ok number 29, have you ever betrayed another goddess for a lightning bearer? Ok, number 30.

MONICA: Woah, woah, woah, let's go back to 29.

RACHEL: Not uh, not to my recollection.

MONICA: Huuh, alright, Danny Arshak, ninth grade. Oh, c'mon Rach, you know the bottle was totally pointing at me.

RACHEL: Only 'cause you took up half the circle.

PHOEBE: Listen to you two. It's so sad. Looks like I'm gonna be going to the goddess meetings alone.

RACHEL: Well not when they find out you slept with Jason Hurley an hour after he broke up with Monica.

MONICA: One hour? You are such a leaf blower.

[Monica goes into her room and slams the door. Rachel does the same. Phoebe, without a door to slam, opens a small chest and slams the lid.]

[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is watching movers take all his stuff away.]

JOEY: Oh hey uh, be careful with that 3-D last supper, Judas is a little loose.

ROSS: [enters] Oh my God, what's goin' on?

JOEY: They're takin all my stuff back. I guess you were right.

ROSS: No look I wasn''t right, that's what I came here to tell you. I was totally hung up on, on my own stuff. Listen, I'm someone who needs the whole security thing, ya know. To know exactly where my next paycheck is coming from buy you, you don't need that and that's amazing to me. I could never do what you do Joey.

JOEY: Thanks Ross.

ROSS: Yeah. And you should hold out for something bigger. I can't tell you how much respect I have for you not going to that stupid cab driver audition.

JOEY: I went.

ROSS: Great, how did it go?

JOEY: I didn't get it.

ROSS: Good for you.

JOEY: What?

ROSS: You're livin' the dream.

JOEY: Huh?

ROSS: All right then.

JOEY: [movers removing a glass parrot] Oh, not my parrot.

ROSS: What?

JOEY: I can't watch this.

ROSS: [approaching the mover holding the parrot] Hey hold on, hold on. How much for the uh, how much to save the bird?

MOVER: 1200.

ROSS: Dollars? You spent $1200 dollars on a plastic bird?

JOEY: Uhhh, I was an impulse buyer, near the register.

ROSS: Go ahead, go ahead with the bird. Ok, do you have anything for around 200?

MOVER: Uh, the dog. [points to a big poecelain greyhound]

ROSS: Huh.

MOVER: Yeah.

ROSS: I'll take it. My gift to you man.

JOEY: Thanks Ross. I really like that bird though...I'll take the dog though.

[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Phoebe are sitting ignoring each other. Rachel walks up with two pieces of cake.]

RACHEL: Here are your cakes.

MONICA: We didn't order cake.

RACHEL: No, I know, they're from me. Look you guys this is not good. I mean we have enough trouble with guys stealing our wind without taking it from each other.

MONICA: You're right.

RACHEL: You know.

PHOEBE: I love you goddesses. I don't ever want to suck your wind again.

RACHEL: Thank you. So are we good?

MONICA: We're good.

RACHEL: We're good?

PHOEBE: Yeah.

RACHEL: Ok, let me take these cakes back 'cause they're gonna take that out of my paycheck.

CHANDLER: [enters] Ding dong, the psycho's gone.

MONICA: Are you sure this time?

CHANDLER: Yes, yes I actually saw him leave. I mean that guy is standing in the window holding a human head. He is STANDING IN THE WINDOW HOLDING A HUMAN HEAD!

EDDIE: [enters] Check it out man, I tore it off some mannaquin in the alley behind Macy's.

MONICA: There is no alley behind Macy's.

EDDIE: So I got it in the junior miss department, big diff. Anyway check it out man, it's gonna make a hell of a conversation piece at out next cocktail party, huh pal?

CHANDLER: Our next cocktail party?

EDDIE: Yeah, you know, put chips in it, we'll make like a chip chick.

CHANDLER: Eddie, do you remember yesterday?

EDDIE: Uh yes, I think I vaguely recall it.

CHANDLER: Do you remember talking to me yesterday?

EDDIE: Uh, yes.

CHANDLER: So what happened?

EDDIE: We took a road trip to Las Vegas man.

CHANDLER: Oh sweet Moses.

MONICA: So on this road trip, did you guys win any money?

EDDIE: Naah, I crapped out, but Mr. 21 over here he cleans up, 300 bucks, check it out he buys me these new shoes, sweet huh?

MONICA: Nice.

EDDIE: Yeah. Well see ya upstairs. See ya pals.

PHOEBE: Is anyone else starting to really like him?

[Scene: Hallway outside Chandler and Joey's apartment. Eddie walks up.]

[Eddie tries his key and it won't work. He knocks and Chandler answers the door. He's got the door chained.]

CHANDLER: May I help you?

EDDIE: Why doesn't my key work and what's all my stuff doin' downstairs?

CHANDLER: Well, I'm, I'm sorry...[Eddie forces his head in the door] Ahhh. Have we met?

EDDIE: It's Eddie you freak, your roommate.

CHANDLER: I, I'm sorry, I uh [unchains the door and opens it all the way] I already have a roommate. [Joey turns around in the leather recliner]

JOEY: Hello.

CHANDLER: Yeah, he's lived here for years, I don't, I don't know what you're talking about man.

EDDIE: No he, he moved out and I moved in.

CHANDLER: Well I, I think we'd remember something like that.

JOEY: I know I would.

EDDIE: Well that's uh, that's a good point. Um ok, well, uh, I guess I got the wrong apartment then. I, I'm, look, I'm, ya know, I'm sorry, I'm terriably sorry.

JOEY: Hey no problem.

CHANDLER: See ya. [shuts the door] Goodbuy you fruit drying psychopath. So you want me to help you unpack your stuff?

JOEY: Na, na I'm ok. Oh and uh, just so you know, I'm not movin' back in 'cause I have to. Well, I mean, I do have to. It's just that that place wasn't really, I mean, this is...

CHANDLER: Welcome home man. [they hug and jump around]

JOEY: A little foos?

CHANDLER: Absolutely.

JOEY: What happened to the foosball?

CHANDLER: Ah that's a cantelope.

CLOSING CREDITS

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are hauling out the porcelain dog from Joey's room. Chandler is holding the dog by the rear in a rather interesting position.]

CHANDLER: Hey look, are we gonna have to bring this out every time Ross comes over?

JOEY: He paid a lot of money for it.

CHANDLER: I'm gonna hold him a different way. Look I don't understand, if you hated it so much, why did you buy it in the first place?

JOEY: Well, I had a whole ceramic zoo thing goin' over there but now, without the other ones, it just looks tacky.

CHANDLER: So is he housetrained or is he gonna leave little bathroom tiles all over the place? Stay. Good, STAY! Good fake dog.

END


艾迪
你在这里干什么?
没什么,只是看你睡觉
为什么?
那会让我觉得…平静
请继绩
我睡不着了
要不要我唱摇篮曲?
够了 我要你现在就给我搬出去
你在说什么,老兄?
人魔…
当室友都好过你
我认为你这话不公平
你看到我一次就怕了
那没看到我的那些夜晚呢
那你昨天晚上起来喝水…
…我好心躲在门后
没让你看到呢?
我根本就不知道
你马上给我出去
真的要我出去?
对,请你快出去
那我要听到你说
你要我出去
我要你出去
不…我要听到你的嘴说
那刚才是我的哪里跟你说的?
对,好吧你知道吗?
朋友,我走了
知道吗?我会在你明天下班前搬出这里
谢谢
我听到了
你看你
终于用时光机回到过去了
喜不喜欢?
我在第八街跟一个家伙买的
我看到的时候心里在想…
…”知道我缺什么吗?”
镜子?
很好,笑啊,我觉得很快活
对一个刚失业的人来说
你心情很好呀
不要紧的
又不是说我要从零开始
我可是”我们的日子”里面的雷崔克大夫
那一定可以算是一项储备吧
储备?快活?
钱德送我一卷”每日一句”卫生纸
我要去点咖啡了
书看了没有啊?
天啊,简直不可思议
是不是完全说出你的心声?
什么书啊?
瑞秋,这本书你一定要读
书名是《掌握自己的“风”》
是写女人需要拥有更多权力
对,但是有…有风
风能够让我们变成女神
知道谁取走我们的风吗?
男人,他们就那样拿走了
男人就这样拿走我们的风?
对呀,一天到晚
因为他们是闪电使者
听起来蛮酷的,有点像是哈勃
那完全不像哈勃
那就像在读我有过的每一段关系
除了理查之外
理查绝不会偷走你的风
不会,因为他很可口
对,但是其他的都会
还有,他们总是吸走…
…我们储存的内在力量
但我们连尝一口都不准
谁要吃根长条糕?
这就是典型的闪电使者行为
就像是…
…”哈罗,谁要来一根我的老二形蛋糕?”
你别担心了,人有祸福的
所以我这次被炒鱿鱼你不会生气吗?
乔伊,看着我
看着我
我的牙齿上有口红吗?
没有,我们说回我,好不好?
听着,亲爱的
这一行到处有人被炒鱿鱼
我已经帮你找到了
”另一个世界”的试镜机会了
好棒
计程车司机乙?
不客气
可是我演过霍崔克大夫
我怎么能从神经外科医生
演到一个计程车司机?
世事无常,随遇而安吧
可是他只有两句话
就像在开倒车
我不要演这个
乔伊,这句话我也劝过明艾尔…
…跟他的金字塔狗群
有什么就做什么
不要随地乱搞
抱歉
改天见
天啊
天啊,我是说,这好…
不是吗?
这就像是读我自己的生活
我是说这书可以改做
”掌握自己的风,瑞秋”
我不认为那会卖一百万本…
…但要当礼物送给你,到满合适的
甜心,我们得走了
不,为什么我们做什么事
都得照你的时间表来呢?
事实上,我们照的是电影院的时间表
这样我们才不会错过开头啊
不,你瞧,这不是关于电影院
这是关于你偷了我的风
加油,妹子
我说得不好,是不是?
对不起,你的风?
对,我的风
你不让我吹,我怎么能成长?
你知道…
…我倒不会反对呀
我只是很需要
自己一个人静一静
很抱歉
你说得对,我不需要跟他道歉
抱歉,该死
怎么了?不知道
是关于什么风呀树呀…
…里头还有什么神圣的池塘
我不是很懂
但她很生气
所以我不跟看书的女人约会
那是什么?
我的信用卡帐单
两封里的第一封
不可能是好事,打开来看看
天啊
你看看我怎么会花这么多钱?
乔伊,那只是最低应缴金额
总金额在这里
你买了一套瓷器
花了3500块钱?
我那些动物瓷器
那店员说很适合我
他讲话有口音,我被搞迷糊了
我不知道该怎么办
我想你可以从”另一个世界”开计程车开始
什么?
不是有试镜机会?
那只有两句台词
乔伊,你欠”我爱树脂”1100块钱
怎么样?
所以就认命吧,老兄
那是工作,钱
听着,我不需要你那一套说教
“每日一句”卫生纸?
听着,我没有那样
我只是很实际而已
别说了,你是我的朋友才对
我是你的朋友
那你就该劝我说 ”乔伊,没问题的”
”撑下去你会得到大角色的,我知道”
但是我不知道
我只知道你欠”缤纷世界”这家店2300大洋
罗斯,我知道我欠多少
那就讲一点道理啊
你奋斗了十年才得到那份工作
谁知道下一个机会还要等多久
我不想听这个
我只是说…
那就别”只是说”,好吗?
或许我该走了
好,我们待会儿见
你考虑看看
我不需要考虑
我演过雷崔克大夫
那是大角色
大机会还会出现的,你等着瞧
罗斯?
你走了吗?
艾迪,你还在这里干什么?
只是随便给一些蔬菜水果
做脱水处理(以便保存)
老天爷,这玩意儿太棒了
听我说,艾迪你有没有忘记什么事?
看,我买了一条新的金鱼
它比上一条活泼多了
对,大概是因为
上一条是饼干公司做的吧
艾迪,你现在是不是有件事
必须要马上去做的?
脱水吗?
因为现在我是脱水疯子
你必须要帮我忙
我以为我们讲好了…
你知道那是什么吗?
你上个室友的肾?
那是一颗蕃茄
这个一定要拿来当摆饰
阿甘,一杯柠檬汁带走
柠檬汁?
你没事吧?
只是事业不太顺利
不知道你听到没有
他们杀了我扮演的人物
真不幸,怎么杀的?
我掉下了电梯
真逊
我是雪崩的时候被活埋的
什么?
我以前演过”孩子们”的布莱
干嘛大家都要看我睡觉?
不准再看我睡觉了
我不准…
…别再看了
我有些好东西脱水哦
有葡萄,还有杏桃
还有我想看这些水球脱水后
会是什么德性,一定很酷
出去
出去
带着水果,带着你愚蠢的水果
给我搬出去
你要我搬出去?
我得告诉你,老兄
这有点突然,你不认为吗?
这不是突如其来
突如其来到极点了
轻松一点,放轻松,兄弟
你不用告诉我两次
会有人来拿我的东西
不过你以为我会让我的鱼跟你独处,
那你就疯了
要我帮忙吗?
不用
一直开到机场?
那超过了三十哩
我估计大概要”王元”哦
对不起,你说错了,是五十元
五十…元
你知道为什么吗?字糊了因为是传真的
当我在演”我们的日子”演霍崔克大夫的时候…
…他们会送来用纸打印的整个剧本来
那太棒了
如果你想加长这场戏像是出了车祸之类的…
…我可以照顾伤患…
…因为我有医疗演出的背景
听我说,谢谢你来
不…别谢谢我来
至少让我演完
我们可以走高速公路…
…但这种时候,
我们还是走“轿”比较好一点
你们的意思是”桥”对不对?
祝我今天愉快
第28个问题
”你有没有让闪电使者取走过你的风?”
我必须说,没有
而我必须说…
什么?
你不记得那个演木偶戏的吗?
对,你完全让他在你内在力量的池子里
大洗其脚呀
还有他的木偶
对,但至少不在我第一次约会
…就让人家进入我的正义真理的森林里啊
谁呀?保罗
继续,继续下一个
好,第29题
”你曾经为一个闪电使者…
…背叛过另一位女神吗?”第30题
回到第29题
…不记得有
好吧,艾丹尼,九年级
少来,瑞秋你知道那瓶子完全指向我的
那是因为你的体积太庞大了
听你们两个说的真是悲哀
这下子看来我真该一个人去参加女神会议了
如果别人发现何杰森跟摩妮卡才分手了一个小时…
…你就跟他上床了呢?
一小时?
你可真会挑拨离间
小心那个立体的最后晚餐犹太有点松了
这怎么回事?
他们来拿东西回去我想你说得对
不,听着,我说得不对
我就是来告诉你这个的
因为那天我的心完全在我自己的事情上头
你听我说嘛,需要那个什么狗屁安全感的人是我
我需要完全掌握下次薪水
从哪儿来,你又不用担心这个
我觉得你真了得
我永远都无法像你,乔伊
谢了,罗斯
对,你应该等待更好的机会
你不知道我多么敬重…
…你不去那个计程车司机的试镜
我去了
太棒了,结果呢?
我没得到角色
你在实现梦想
好吧
别带走鹦鹉
我看不下去了
等等…
这要多少…救那只鸟要多少钱?
1200美金?
你花1200美金买只塑胶鸟
那是一时冲动
它在收银机附近
去吧,把鸟带走吧
你有没有大约两百左右的?
那只狗
我买了
送给你,老兄
谢了,罗斯
我真的很喜欢那只鸟
不过这只狗…
你们的蛋糕
我们没点蛋糕
我知道,是我请的
听着,两位,这样不好
我是说被男人偷走我们的风就够惨了…
…何苦再自相残杀呢?
你说得对
我爱你们,女神们
我再也不会吸走你们的风了
谢谢,我们和好了?
和好了
和好了?
好,那我把蛋糕送回去
因为他们会从我薪水里扣
那个疯子走了
这次你确定?
对…我亲眼看到他离开的
那家伙拿着一个人头在窗口
他拿着一个人头
你瞧,老兄
我在梅西百货后面巷子的
模特儿身上摘下来的
梅西后面没有巷子
所以我是在少女部摘的
有什么差别呢?
你瞧瞧,老兄,这样我们
下次鸡尾酒会就有得聊了
”下次的鸡尾酒会”?
对呀,可以拿来放洋芋片
弄成一个洋芋片小妞儿
你记得昨天发生的事吗?
我想我模模糊糊的记得
那么你还记得昨天你跟我说的话吗?
发生了什么事?
我们跑去拉斯维加斯,老兄
天啊
那么这次的旅行你们有没有赢钱呢?
没有,我输光了
但这位21点先生赢了
300块,他买这双新鞋给我
很棒吧?
楼上见了,再见
还有别人开始很喜欢他吗?
需要我效劳吗?
我的钥匙为什么不能用了?
我的东西为什么都在楼下?
抱歉
我们有见过吗?
我是艾迪,呆子,你的室友
对不起…
…我已经有室友了
他住很多年了
我不知道你在说什么,老兄
他搬出去以后我才搬进来的
如果是那样的话
我们应该记得才对
我知道我会
说得有道理

那我想我记错房子了
两位,对不起,对不起
没关系
再见了
再会了,干燥水果的疯子
乔伊,要我帮你打开行李吗?
不用了
我只是想让你知道
我是不得已才搬回来的
是不得已没错…
但是在那个地方并不是真的…
我是说,这里…
欢迎回家,老兄
小试一下身手?
没问题
这颗球怎么了?
那是颗哈蜜瓜
乔伊,每次罗斯来
我们都要把这玩意拖出来吗?
他付了很多钱买这个
我要用不同的方式来抱它
你真的那么讨厌这个
那当初为何要买它呢?
我那边有一整个陶磁动物园嘛
现在少了其他动物看起来就很俗了
它会控制大小便吗?
还是会到处留下小磁器便便?
别动
别动
好(假)狗

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