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老友记第二季The One With the Chicken Pox

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The One With the Chicken Pox

[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are there.]

[Rachel brings a muffin to Chandler and Monica who are sitting on the couch.]

RACHEL: Ok, Chandler, Mon, there's only one bananna nut muffin left.

[Rachel holds the tray between them. Chandler grabs the muffin before Monica can.]

MONICA: Oh, I ordered mine first.

CHANDLER: Yeah, but I'm, I'm so much faster...

MONICA: Give it to me.

CHANDLER: No.

MONICA: Give it to me.

CHANDLER: Ok, you can have it. [He licks it and offers it to her.]

MONICA: [She grabs the coffee cup on the table and licks the rim.] There you go, enjoy your coffee.

CHANDLER: That was there when I got here. [Takes a bite of his muffin.]

PHOEBE: [enters] Hey you guys, you will never guess who's coming to New York.

MONICA: [Chandler tries to come back with a smart-ass remark but can't swallow the muffin.] Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he can swallow.

PHOEBE: Oh ok, Ryan, that guy I went out with, who's in the Navy.

[Chandler is visibly upset]

RACHEL: You went out with a guy in the Navy?

PHOEBE: Yeah, I met him when I was playing guitar in Washington Square Park. Ryan threw in salt water taffy 'cause he didn't have any change.

JOEY: Hey, is that when you wrote salt water taffy man?

PHOEBE: No. No, he is my submaring guy. He resurfaces like every couple years and we have the most amazing three days together. Only this time he's coming for two weeks. Two whole weeks, which means yay.

RACHEL: So wait, this guy goes down for like two years at a time?

[Once again, Chandler has a bite in his mouth and can't come back.]

MONICA: That'll teach you to lick my muffin.

ROSS: [enters] Hiii.

JOEY: Oh no, what happened?

ROSS: Well, I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got the chicken pox.

ALL: Oh no.

ROSS: Yeah, so if you haven't already had it, chances are you're gonna get it.

RACHEL: Well I've had it.

JOEY: Yeah, I've had it.

MONICA: Had it.

CHANDLER: Had it.

PHOEBE: Well, I've never had it, I feel so left out. [Sees a red bump on her arm.] Oh look!

OPENING TITLES

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are in her bedroom.]

MONICA: Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.

RICHARD: Ooh, then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for. Ok, I am going to take a shower and today I will be singing Jim Crochee's Leroy Brown.

[He walks out of the bedroom and Monica starts to remake the bed.]

RICHARD: Monica... [He re-enters the bedroom and Monica jumps on the bed, trying to cover it.] Hey Mon, I have a question. Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man in the whole damn town?

MONICA: Baddest. Otherwise the song would be Fat Fat Leroy Brown.

RICHARD: What're you doing?

MONICA: Just waiting for you sweetie.

RICHARD: Are you remaking the bed?

MONICA: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know what, the way you did it was just fine.

RICHARD: Then, you're redoing it because...

MONICA: If I tell you, you'll think I'm crazy.

RICHARD: You're pretty much running that risk either way.

MONICA: Ok, you see, the tag shouldn't be at the top left corner, it should be at the bottom right corner.

RICHARD: Oh, well that's not so crazy.

MONICA: I'm just easing you in.

RICHARD: Oh, alright.

MONICA: Alright, you see these little flower blossoms? They should be facing up, not down, because, well, the head of the bed is where the sun would be. You don't love me any more do you.

RICHARD: Actually, if it's possible, I love you more.

MONICA: Really? Wow, well then come on, I wanna show you how to fold the toilet paper into a point.

[Scene: Chandler's office. Joey is there.]

CHANDLER: Hey, look Joey, I'm just saying if you need something to hold you over, I can get you a job right here as an entry level processor.

JOEY: But don't you need experience for a job like that?

CHANDLER: It's not that hard to learn. And as for people realizing you have no idea what you're doing, hey, you're an actor. Act like a processor, people will think you're a processor.

SCOTT: [enters] Hey Chandler, here's this morning's projections.

CHANDLER: Hey thanks. Scott Alexander, Joey Tribbianni. Joey is a uh, fellow processor.

SCOTT: No kidding.

JOEY: Oh yeah yeah. I process. People want the processing, I'm the one they call.

SCOTT: Where do you work?

JOEY: Uhh, well, right now I'm in between things. You know how it is. One day you're processing, the next day you're not so much... processing any more.

CHANDLER: I was just telling Joey about the opening in Fleischman's group.

SCOTT: Fleischman's group. Whatever you do, don't touch his sandwiches. Ha-ha-ha...

JOEY: Ha-ha. [Scott leaves] Are all you processors dorks?

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Rachel are doing Phoebe's makeup.]

RACHEL: Oh, this lipstick looks just great on you.

MONICA: You look fabulous honey, you really do.

PHOEBE: Yeah? Are you sure, really. [She picks up a mirror and sees the white splotches all over her face.]

RACHEL: You see, you look beautiful. For god sakes, dim the lights.

PHOEBE: I, I, I'm hideous.

MONICA: It's gonna be ok. Ryan's been under water. He's just gonna be so glad that you don't have barnicles on your butt.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ryan is walks up to the door and knocks.]

PHOEBE: Come in.

RYAN: Hey baby, I'm back... [Phoebe is sitting by the window in a veil.]

PHOEBE: Hey Ryan, what's up?

RYAN: What's goin' on?

PHOEBE: Well, no no, you have to stay back. I, I have the pox.

RYAN: Chicken or small?

PHOEBE: Chicken. Which is so ironic considering I'm a vegetarian.

RYAN: Why aren't you at home in bed?

PHOEBE: 'Cause my, my grandmother's never had chicken pox. Please, please tell me you have, 'cause oh my God, I forgot how cute you are.

RYAN: I'm sorry, I never had 'em.

PHOEBE: Ohh, ohh.

RYAN: If I had one wish, it would be to build a time machine, go back to when I was 7, when Jimmy Hauser had the chicken pox. I would grab that kid and rub him all over my face.

PHOEBE: Yeah, or you know, you could just wish that I didn't have them now.

RYAN: Can I please see your face?

PHOEBE: Nope. You don't want to see a face covered with pox.

RYAN: Your face could be covered with lochs, I wouldn't care.

PHOEBE: And you hate fish. Oh. That's so sweet, alright. Ok, alright, you can see. This is me... [she unveils herself right as a huge lightning bolt crashes outside. Ryan screams in terror.] Oh, I am scary.

RYAN: Sorry, the lightning. Lightning was an unfortunate incidence. You look lovely, lovely.

PHOEBE: I hate this. 'Cause I tell you, I had the most amazing two weeks planned for us, and almost everything I had in mind, we had to be a lot closer than this.

RYAN: Phoebe, I have spent the last eight months in a steel tube with men, thinking about this moment. I am not gonna let a bunch of itchy spots stand between us. [He walks to her and kisses her.]

PHOEBE: Ok, this is the most romantic disease I've ever had.

[Scene: Chandler's office. Joey enters.]

JOEY: Hey.

CHANDLER: Hey, how's the first day goin'?

JOEY: Pretty good. It's like you said. It's mostly just putting numbers from one column into another column.

CHANDLER: Well there you go.

JOEY: Hey and everbody is so nice. I just had a good talk with that lady with the red hair, Jeannie.

CHANDLER: Jeannie, the head of east coast operations Jeannie?

JOEY: Yeah, turns out our kids go to the same school. Small world huh?

CHANDLER: Weird world. Your kids?

JOEY: I figure my character has kids.

CHANDLER: Ya know there isn't a part of that sentence I don't need explained.

JOEY: Well, see when you're acting you need to think about stuff like that. My character, Joseph the processor guy, has two little girls, Ashley and Brittany. Ashley copies everything Brittany does.

CHANDLER: Well, invisible kids can be that way sometimes.

JOEY: Yeah. Joseph and his wife, Karen, are thinking of having a third kid... Ya know what? Just did.

CHANDLER: Really? Wow. That's some pretty powerful imaginary sperm you must have there.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe and Ryan are playing Monopoly.]

RYAN: You know what makes the itching even worse?

PHOEBE: That you don't stop talking about it.

RYAN: Fine.

PHOEBE: Let's just play, ok. Good, ok. [She picks up the dice.] Here we go, double sixes, here we go... [She starts to rub the dice all over herself.] Here we go, come to mama, just getting ready to roll the dice...

RYAN: What're you doing? Are you scratching?

PHOEBE: No. This is what I do for luck, ok.

RYAN: You're scratching. Give me the dice.

PHOEBE: No.

RYAN: Give me the dice.

PHOEBE: No. Here. [Throws them on the table.] There. Ooh, double sixes.

RYAN: We can't scratch. You know we can't, we'll scar.

PHOEBE: Uhh, I can't stop thinking about it. It's just so hard. I just wanna grab all these houses and rub 'em all over my body. [Grabs a handful of the houses.]

RYAN: No.

PHOEBE: Give it.

RYAN: No.

PHOEBE: Yeah, come on. You know you want it, you know you want it too, come on. Let's just be bad, it'll feel so good. [She starts scratching him.]

RYAN: Oh God help me.

PHOEBE: Now do me, do my back. Oh come on, harder.

[They get back to back and start rubbing against each other. Ross and Rachel enter.]

RACHEL: Oh, stop that, stop that right now.

ROSS: You know, I might have expected this of you Phoebe, but Ryan, you're a military man.

[Scene: Chandler's office building. Joey and Jeannie are talking.]

JOEY: You and Milton have to join us on the boat. Karen'll pack a lunch, you'll bring the kids, we'll make a day of it.

JEANNIE: Oh, that sounds lovely. We're gonna have to set that up. Oh, I better get back. Hope the baby feels better.

JOEY: Oh, thanks, thanks. Bye bye Jeannie.

JEANNIE: Bye bye Joey.

JOEY: What a phony.

CHANDLER: Well, I'm sure you'll teach her a lesson when she steps off the dock onto nothing. Hey Mr. Douglas.

JOEY: Sir.

MR. DOUGLAS: Uh, listen Bing, I received your memo. So, we're not gonna receive the systems report until next Friday?

CHANDLER: Well the people in my group wanna spend the holiday weekend with their families.

MR. DOUGLAS: I have a family, I'm gonna be here.

JOEY: Yeah Bing, what's that about?

CHANDLER: It's about cutting my people a little slack, ya know, for morale. Look, if you wanna see some rough numbers, I can get them to you by Wednesday.

MR. DOUGLAS: Rough numbers?

JOEY: This company was not built on rough numbers. Am I right Mr. Douglas.

MR. DOUGLAS: Have the final numbers on my desk by Tuesday.

CHANDLER: Uh, if you say so sir.

JOEY: Joseph's good, isn't he?

CHANDLER: Well, I'm going to kill you.

JOEY: Hey, hey, I just figure Joseph's the kinda guy that likes to mix it up. Ya know, get in there, ruffle some feathers.

CHANDLER: Why?

JOEY: Look, I'm sorry but that's what Joseph does, ok. If you try to pull somethin', he'll call you on it. 'What're you tryin' to pull,' he'll say.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica enters her bedroom with a roll of duct tape. Richard is sitting on the bed.]

RICHARD: Ooh, duct tape. Was I supposed to bring something too?

MONICA: This is for the scratchy twins out there. I taped oven mits to their hands.

RICHARD: You're strict.

MONICA: It's for their own good.

RICHARD: You know, I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under. See in a tape emergency you could shave valuable seconds off your time.

MONICA: Exactly. Oh, I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now. Tell me the truth. Don't you like it better now that everything on your desk is perpendicular?

RICHARD: If it's not a right angle, it is a wrong angle.

MONICA: Very good.

RICHARD: Thank you.

MONICA: You know what. Tomorrow I'm gonna do your clocks.

RICHARD: You're gonna do what to my clocks.

MONICA: I'm gonna set them to my time.

RICHARD: Well, I'm confused. I thought we shared time.

MONICA: No no. See, in my bedroom I set my clock six minutes fast. You wanna know why?

RICHARD: Because it's in a slightly different time zone than the kitchen.

MONICA: No forget it, I'm not gonna tell you now.

RICHARD: No come on. Come on tell me.

MONICA: No. See you don't understand.

RICHARD: Come on.

MONICA: No. You don't have any of these cute little obsessive things.

RICHARD: No that's not true. That is not true.

MONICA: Oh yeah.

RICHARD: Yeah.

MONICA: Alright, well tell me one of yours.

RICHARD: Ok. Ahh. One of my things is, I always separate my sweat socks from my dress socks.

MONICA: What if they get mixed up?

RICHARD: Boy I would just uh, I would freak out.

MONICA: You would not. I can't believe this. I hate this, you're too normal. I can't believe my boyfriend doesn't have a thing. My boyfriend doesn't have a thing.

RICHARD: See, if anyone overheard that, I didn't come off well.

[Scene: Chandler's office. Chandler is asleep in his chair holding a paper in one hand and a pen in the other. Joey walks in, waking up Chandler who covers by pretending to write on the paper.]

JOEY: Hey. Mr. Douglas is looking for you.

CHANDLER: Why? Wh- wh- why is Mr. Douglas looking for me?

JOEY: 'Cause he has a strong suspicion that you dropped the ball on the Lender project.

CHANDLER: Wha- wh- why, why, why does he suspect that?

JOEY: Becasue at first he thought it was Joseph. But after he asked Joseph about it, turns out it was you. Anyway, I just thought you should know.

CHANDLER: Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go.

JOEY: What're you talking about, everybody loves Joseph.

CHANDLER: I don't, I hate Joseph, ok. I think he's a brown-nosing suck up.

JOEY: Oh yeah. Well you can't fire Joseph. You know why, 'cause he's not in your department.

CHANDLER: Alright, ok, alright. So I can't fire Joseph but uh, I can sleep with his wife.

JOEY: Karen.

CHANDLER: Yeah, Karen. I'm thinking about having an affair with her. Oh, you know what? I just did.

JOEY: Ahh. What the hell are you doing to me man.

CHANDLER: Oh well it's not me, it's my character, Chandy. Yeah the rogue processor who seduces his co-worker's wives for sport and then laughs about it the next day at the water cooler. In fact, I have her panties right there in my drawer.

JOEY: Really?

CHANDLER: No freakshow, she's fictional.

JOEY: Take it easy. If it means that much to you, I'll uh, I'll go find something else.

CHANDLER: Thank you.

JOEY: It's just that, I, I'm gonna miss Joseph. I liked him. His wife, she was hot. [Chadler pushes him out the door by the face.]

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Ross are in the kitchen. Phoebe is sitting at the couch with oven mits on her hands.]

PHOEBE: Can I please take these off? I swear I won't scratch.

RACHEL: No sorry hon, Monica's orders.

RYAN: [Comes out of the bathroom, also with oven mits on his hands.] Well that wasn't easy.

ROSS: Ok, dinner's on.

RACHEL: And there's a peach cobbler warming in the oven so the plate's gonna be hot but that shouldn't be a problem for you.

ROSS: Alright you kids, bye now.

PHOEBE and RYAN: Bye. [waving]

ROSS: Oh look, a low budget puppet show.

PHOEBE: It's such a shame you can't see which finger I'm holding up.

[Ross and Rachel leave.]

RYAN: Wine?

PHOEBE: Please. [Ryan pulls the cork with his teeth and spits it into Phoebe's mits.]

RYAN: Oh, I spilled some.

PHOEBE: I got it. [Wipes it up with her mits.]

RYAN: [Puts his hands over Phoebe's ears.] I must tell you, you look beautiful tonight.

PHOEBE: What?

RYAN: Sorry. You look beautiful.

PHOEBE: Oh.

[They start to kiss. They try to get each other's shirts off but can't get the buttons undone.]

PHOEBE: You know what, that's it, that's it. [She rips off the mits, Ryan follows her lead.]

[They keep kissing and start scratching each other. Ross enters, takes one look, and goes right back out the door.]

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard and Monica are in bed.]

RICHARD: Monica, wake up. Monica.

MONICA: What's up?

RICHARD: I thought of a thing.

MONICA: Yeah?

RICHARD: Yeah. I have to sleep, have to, on this side of the bed.

MONICA: No honey. You have to sleep on this side of the bed because I have to sleep on this side of the bed.

RICHARD: Or so I would have you believe.

MONICA: No. Big deal, so you have a side of the bed, everybody has a side of the bed.

RICHARD: Hey come on, you haven't heard my reason yet.

MONICA: Alright, go on.

RICHARD: Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side.

MONICA: Oh my God, you're a freak.

RICHARD: Yeah. How 'bout that.

[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe, Rachel, Ross, and Ryan are there. Ryan is in uniform, getting ready to leave.]

RACHEL: So uh, Ryan, were you shipping off to?

RYAN: I really can't say.

ROSS: So do you have like any nuclear weapons on board?

RYAN: I can't say.

RACHEL: Well do you get to look through one of those like, those periscope thingys.

RYAN: I'm sorry, but I can't say.

ROSS: Wow, it, it's neat learning about submarines.

RYAN: I better get out of here, I'm gonna miss my flight.

PHOEBE: Ok, I'll walk you out.

ROSS: Bye Ryan.

RYAN: Pleasure.

RACHEL: It was nice to meet you.

RYAN: Take care.

[Phoebe and Ryan walk outside.]

RACHEL: So do you uh, think we can get you one of those uh, uniform things?

ROSS: You like that do ya?

RACHEL: Oh yeah.

ROSS: I'll make some calls. [Runs off.]

RACHEL: Ok.

[Outside with Phoebe and Ryan.]

RYAN: Can you believe how we spent our two weeks together?

PHOEBE: I know. We didn't do any of the romantic things I had planned, like having a picnic at Central Park and ya know, coffee at Central Perk. Oh I just got that. [They kiss.]

RYAN: Taxi.

PHOEBE: Bye you. [Ryan's cab drives off. As Phoebe is going back in, she sees the Central Perk sign in the window and laughs.]

CLOSING CREDITS

[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is closing. Ross walks in in a uniform.]

RACHEL: Oh I'm sorry, we're clo-... Hey sailor.

ROSS: Is this what you had in mind?

RACHEL: I'll say.

[Ross picks her up.]

ROSS: I'm shipping out tomorrow.

RACHEL: Well then uh, we better make this night count. [He starts to carry her out.] Oh wait, I forgot to turn off the cappucino machine. [He carries her over to turn it off.] Anchors away. Oh no no, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my pu rse. [He carries her to the counter to pick up her purse.] Oh, you know what. I forgot to turn off the bathroom light.

ROSS: Alright you know, why don't I just meet you upstairs. [Drops her on the couch and walks out holding his lower back.]

END

Ok, 钱德, 摩妮卡, 只剩下一个香蕉果糕了.
我先叫的.
没错,但我,我动作快...
给我.
不.
给我!
好吧, 拿去.
好了, 享用你的咖啡吧.
那是我刚才舔过的地方.
嗨 你们肯定猜不出谁要来纽约.
快, 菲比, 在他咽下去之前告诉我们.
好, 是赖安, 曾经和我约过会, 现在在海军的.
你和海军的人一起出去?
没错, 我在华盛顿广场公园弹吉他时认识他的.
赖安扔给我咸味太妃糖,因为他没有零钱.
嗨, 就是你写“咸味太妃糖”歌的时候?
不是.
不, 他是潜艇人员.
每两年才露一次面
我们都要在一起享受美好的三天.
只有这一次他可待两个星期. 整整两个星期,意味着....
等等, 他一次在下面待两年?
这就是舔松糕的教训.
嗨.
怎么了?
卡萝刚才告诉我. 班出水痘了.
噢,不会吧.
所以如果你们以前没有出过,就有可能会染上.
我出过了.
我也已经出过了.
我出过了.
我没出过, 我想不会. 哇哦,看!
亲爱的, 你又铺床了. 我告诉过你,你不必做.
这又不是露营.
噢, 我想把昨晚的犯罪现场收拾一下.
我去冲个澡,一边唱吉姆.考奇的“雷罗伊.布朗”.
摩妮卡... 嗨 摩妮卡, 我有个问题.
雷罗伊是整个丹姆城最坏的男人还是
整个丹姆城最胖的男人?
最坏的. 另外歌词还有“胖啊胖的雷罗伊.布朗”.
你在干什么?
在等你啊,亲爱的.
你在重新铺床?
对不起, 对不起. 你知道, 你铺得已经很好了.
那么, 你重新铺是为了...
如果我告诉你, 你会以为我疯了.
告不告诉我,我都认为你差不多了.
好吧,你瞧,
标签的那头不能在左上角, 应该在右下角.
哦,这还算不上疯了.
你就方便进去了.
哦, 对.
还有, 你看见这些花蕾图案了吗? 应该朝上, 而不是朝下,
因为, 太阳在床头那边.
你没那么爱我了吧.
事实上, 也许,我更爱你了.
真的吗?
噢, 那好跟我来, 我告诉你怎么把纸巾折出个角来.
嗨, 乔伊, 我说如果你想做点事情,
我能在这给你一个信息处理员的活.
但你不需要有相关经验的吗?
并不难学. 而且其他人根本不知道你不懂,
嗨, 你是个演员. 就当演个处理员,
别人就会以为你是处理员.
嗨 钱德, 这是今早的项目.
嗨 谢谢. 斯科特.亚历山大, 乔伊.茨比阿里
乔伊是个噢..., 信息处理员.
不是开玩笑吧!
哦 没错 没错. 我会处理.
别人要处理, 就找我.
你在哪工作?
噢, 现在我来回跑.
是这样的. 今天是你处理,
第二天你就没有那... 那么多要处理.
我刚才告诉乔伊关于弗雷斯克曼集团的机会.
弗雷斯克曼集团. 无论如何,
不要碰他的三明治. 哈-哈-哈...
哈-哈. 你们都是处理肉鸡的?
哦, 这口红对你太合适了.
你看上去真让人难以置信,亲爱的, 确实是.
是吗? 你肯定, 真的.
你看, 看上去多漂亮. 来点神秘感, 调暗光线.
我, 我, 真可怕.
没问题的. 赖安一直在水下.
你屁股上没长痔疮,他就很高兴了.
请进.
嗨 宝贝, 我回来了...
嗨 赖安, 好吗?
怎么了?
不,不, 你最好别过来. 我, 我出痘.
水痘还是小痘痘?
是水痘. 对我这个素食者真是一个讽刺.
你为什么不回家上床休息?
因为, 我奶奶从来没有出过水痘.
千万, 别告诉你没出过, 因为,我希望你总是那么帅.
对不起, 我真的没出过.
噢, 噢.
如果给我个愿望, 我希望造个时间机器,
会到七岁那年, 当时吉米.郝瑟出水痘.
我可以抱住他往我脸上擦.
对, 或者, 你只要愿望我现在没出水痘.
让我看看你的脸?
不要. 你不会希望看见我长满水痘的脸的.
你脸上也许布满海湾, 我才不在乎呢.
但你讨厌鱼. 哦.
你真好, 好吧. 好吧, 让你看吧.
我就是这样...
哇, 我很吓人.
对不起, 是闪电. 闪电碰巧反射.
你看起来可爱极了, 可爱极了.
我恨死了.
我告诉你, 我计划好了我们美妙的的两个星期,
几乎所有的事都考虑好了, 我们会比现在更亲热.
菲比, 我刚和一群男人在金属管中渡过了八个月,
想到这些.
我也不会让一堆痒包包影响我们.
这是我得过的最浪漫的病.
嗨.
嗨, 第一天过得怎么样?
太棒了. 就象你说的.
基本上也就是把数字从一排输到另一排.
你学得很快.
嗨,而且每个人都很好.
我刚才和红椅子那儿的女人简妮聊了一会.
简妮, 东区业务的头,简妮?
聊到我们的孩子在一个学校.
世界真小,是吧?
世界真奇妙. 你的孩子?
我觉得我的角色应该是有小孩的人.
你的话我没有一句是明白的.
对了, 扮什么角色都要全心投入
象我, 约瑟夫,信息处理员,
有两个孩子, Ashley和Brittany.
Ashley喜欢模仿Brittany.
哇, 看不见的孩子们经常会这样.
是啊. 约瑟夫和他的妻子卡伦正在考虑生第三个孩子...
知道吗? 刚实施了.
真的吗? 哇. 你那里一定有一些极其充沛的想象的精子.
你不觉得这东西确实很痒吗?
你都一直说个没停.
好吧.
还是玩吧, ok. 好, ok.
我们开始吧,
来妈妈这里, 就准备掷骰子了...
你在干吗? 抓痒吗?
不是. 只是找点运气, ok.
你是抓痒. 给我骰子. / 不.
给我骰子.
不. 好了,扔了.
哦, 两个六点.
我们不能抓痒. 你知道我们可以, 会留下伤疤的.
我顾不了那些了. 太痛苦了.
我只想把这些地盘全部占领,用他们把全身抓一遍.
不行.
放手.
不行.
行的, 来吧.
你也想要的, 你也想要的, 来吧.
我们就一下, 会很舒服的.
上帝帮帮我.
到我了, 抓背. 快, 用力些.
哦,
停下来, 马上停下来.
菲比这样做我还可以原谅, 但赖安, 你是个军人
你和Milton一定要来我们的船上. 卡伦会准备午餐,
你们把孩子带来,我们玩一天.
Oh, 听起来不错. 我们要好好准备一下.
Oh, 我得回去了. 照顾好宝宝.
Oh, 谢谢, 再见 简妮.
再见 乔伊.
真虚伪.
我肯定这对她是一个教训,
当她在码头扑个空的时候
嗨 道格拉斯先生.
先生.
噢, 宾, 我拿到你的备忘录了.
那么, 我们不是要到下周五才拿到你的系统报告吧?
是这样,我组里的人想和家人渡个周末假期.
我也有家, 我还是来.
对啊,宾, 那又怎么样呢?
只是想让大家放松一下, 安抚民心.
如果你想要些大概数字, 我可以星期三给你.
大概数字?
公司不是大概数字堆出来的. 对吧,道格拉斯先生?
星期三我要看见最后数据.
你说怎样就怎样了.
约瑟夫真行,是吧?
我要杀了你.
嗨, 嗨,
我只是发现约瑟夫是很会和人打交道的.
你看, 掺和进去, 推波助澜.
为什么?
对不起, 但约瑟夫就是干这个的,
ok.如果你想去做什么, 他就会号召你去做,
“你要做些什么?”他说.
Ooh, 胶带. 我也应该带点什么来?
这是对付外面那两个发痒的家伙的.
我把他们的手捆起来.
你真厉害.
这是对他们好.
知道吗, 我觉得你把这个标带这样折下去很有效
看,急用时就不用花那么多时间来刮了.
很对.
Oh, 我喜欢现在我可以完全在你面前神经质了.
老实告诉我.
我不觉得现在你桌子上的东西
摆成直角后更好些了吗?
如果不是直角, 就是斜角.
太好了.
谢谢.
知道吗. 明天我想调你的钟.
我的钟怎么了.
我想调得和我的时间一样.
我糊涂了. 我们不是一起在分享吗?.
不 不. 看, 我的卧室里我把钟调快了六分钟.
你知道为什么吗?
因为要和厨房有点时差.
不是,算了,我现在不想告诉你.
别,快,快告诉我.
不. 你不明白.
来吧.
不. 你没有这些烦恼的小事情.
不,不一定,不一定.
是吗?
嗯.
好吧, 告诉我一件.
Ok.
啊. 有一件, 我总是要把我的运动袜从我穿的袜子里分出来.
如果混在一起了呢?
我会, 我会不正常.
你不会的. 我不相信, 我恨死了,你太正常了.
我不相信我的男朋友就没有一件事, 没有一件事.
看, 如果谁偷听到, 我就不走运了.
嗨. 道格拉斯先生在找你.
为什么? 为- 为- 为什么道格拉斯先生要找我?
因为他很怀疑你在贷方项目搞鬼.
为- 为- 为什么他会怀疑?
因为开始怀疑是约瑟夫,但后来他问过约瑟夫后,
就转向你了. 无论如何, 我想应该告诉你.
好吧, 这样. 乔伊,
对不起, 我认为这对你只是个角色,
如果我解雇约瑟夫的话, 我希望,
但遗憾的是我不得不让你们两个都走.
你说什么, 每个人都喜欢约瑟夫.
我不喜欢, 我恨约瑟夫,
ok. 我认为他是个褐色鼻子的讨厌鬼.
哦. 对,你不能解雇约瑟夫.
知道为什么, 因为他不在你的部门.
好吧, ok, 好吧. 我不能解雇约瑟夫,但,
我可以和他妻子上床.
卡伦?
对, 卡伦. 我想和她来个一夜情.
哦, 知道吗? 我刚做了.
啊. 你怎么能这样对我.
哦,对了,不是我, 我的角色, 钱迪.
无赖处理员
引诱同事妻子上床,第二天在饮水机旁拿来开玩笑的人.
实际上, 我抽屉里还有她的内裤.
真的?
不,异想天开, 虚构的.
别激动. 如果对你那么重要,
我去, 我去找其他事情做.
谢谢.
只是, 我会想约瑟夫的.
我喜欢他. 他妻子, 她真的很热情.
我能把这取下来吗? 我发誓不抓痒了.
不行,对不起, 摩妮卡的命令.
啊,太不容易了.
Ok, 开饭了.
有一个蜜桃馅饼在炉子里热着,
所以盘子很热但对你们没问题.
好了,孩子们, 再见了.
再见.
哦,看, 廉价木偶戏.
可惜你没看见我伸了哪个手指.
葡萄酒?
劳驾.
哦,漫出了一些.
我来.
我想告诉你, 今晚你看起来很漂亮.
什么?
对不起.
你看起来很漂亮. / 噢.
这样, 这样.
摩妮卡, 醒醒. 摩妮卡.
怎么啦?
我想到一件事.
是吗?
是的. 我必须, 必须睡在床的这边.
不,亲爱的. 你必须睡在那边是因为我必须睡在这边.
或者我才要让你相信.
不. 大问题,
你睡在床的一边, 每个人都睡在床的一边.
嗨,你还没听我的理由.
好的, 继续.
Ok,
我必须睡在西边因为我在加利福尼亚长大,另外
大海在另一边.
哦,天啊, 你不正常了.
是啊. 怎么样.
赖安, 你要出发到哪去?
我真的不能说.
那你们舰上有核武器吗?
我不能说.
你们用那个什么...潜望镜看.
对不起, 我不能说.
潜艇守则学得不错.
我得走了, 要赶不上飞机了.
Ok, 我送你.
再见,赖安. /辛会.再见. 保重
你也去弄一套,制服?
你喜欢?
是啊.
我打几个电话.
Ok.
你相信吗,我们在一起渡过了两个星期?
我计划好的浪漫的事情一样都没做,
象在中央公园野餐,在Central Perk喝咖啡.
哦,我刚刚喝了.
出租车!
再见.
哦,对不起, 我们关...
嗨,水手.
你是想要这个吗?
是我说的.
我明天要出海.
那么,
我们最好今夜很重要。.
等等, 我忘记关热牛奶咖啡机.
起锚.
不,不, 我的钱包, 我的钱包, 我的钱包,
我的钱包, 我的钱包, 我的钱包.
知道吗. 我忘记关卫生间的灯.
好吧,我还是上楼等你吧.

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