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老友记第三季The One With Frank Jr

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怎么回事,森林惹到你了?我们一直说需要信件柜所以我就动工了,然后呢我决定更进上一层楼你要盖邮局?不是,是一个娱乐专用柜内含信件柜最多一天干完你的裤子还真贴啊这是我的旧工作裤,“亚曼范伦铁”牌的刚才电锯有点失控菲此,你弟出现了吗?还没,不过他很爱迟到-你不是只见过他一次?-是啊这样讲有姐姐的派头“法兰克老是迟到”别急,他会来的我知道,我只是很紧张我妈死了,我不和我姐说话奶奶最近都在睡觉这是我拥有家人的最后机会你真好,还陪我等是阿甘叫我来的,杯子不能拿出来还有谁觉得大卫考柏菲可爱?没有,不过他告诉我他觉得你很帅珍妮丝喜欢他喜欢到把他放进她的名人性爱名单里她的什么?我们说好每人可以挑五个名人上床另一个人不准生气这是健全男女关系的要素诚实、尊重、与名人上床你的名单有谁?金贝辛格辛迪克劳馥、荷莉贝瑞雅丝敏布丽丝和罗杰兔的老婆洁西卡你知道她是卡通人物而且和你不同挂吧?我知道,我是看看我能不能让她的眼珠掉出来摩妮卡,你会选谁?我得先交男朋友,才能列名单只是好玩嘛,瑞秋,你呢?不晓得,应该是克里斯欧唐纳小约翰甘乃迪丹尼尔戴刘易斯、史汀和帕克史蒂文森蜘蛛人?哈第兄弟神探是彼得帕克谢谢(其实瑞秋才是对的)你呢?你会选谁?这种事需要深思熟虑我会先把可能人选分门别类怪人各位,这是法兰克我同父异母的弟弟就是他们这是罗斯这是摩妮卡这是瑞秋我去点咖啡你们怎么做得了事?我们是没做什么事你们有什么计划吗?有,我们要好好的联络感情我们会去时代广场买几个忍者娃娃我朋友赖瑞托我拍妓女的照片我们在纽约都白住了抱歉,我钻到你了?没有,你没有钻到我那是电钻你要是钻到我,我就死了别激动你要不要这个柜子嘛?我不要这个柜子你不早说,我又不会心电感应没有啤酒了,我要去对面好!你穿这样要去哪里?对了,我在装潢建材店看到名牌瓷砖在特价你可以重铺浴室地板我的浴室地板怎么了?没什么,只是又旧又暗没有这回事你把篮子移开…就能看到瓷砖原来的颜色这样我怎么住!怎么办?别激动,拿着瓷砖一撬就掉,我弄给你看我没想到你要撬它你看看,黏得多死啊撬也撬不完,我看你别管了怎么能不管你在我的旧地板上撬了个洞这样就好了挺好的塞进你的屁股里会更好我知道我要问什么了你会卷舌头吗?因为我会,但是我妈不会我想那一定是爸的遗传等一下,你是说这样?对,你也会你没有卷啊好吧所以是我妈会,我不会我们这一点不一样你的生日是哪一天?2月16日我认识一个18日的人蛮近的你的生日呢?10月25日跟万圣节同一个月你在家里喜欢做什么?烧东西-好,我已经挑了三个-三个什么?可以上床的名人天哪,你还真慎重很难挑好吗?我只剩两个空缺你筛选出谁了?伊丽莎白赫莉大美女心胸宽大苏珊莎兰登她太热衷政治了她可能会叫你先捐四个罐头还有伊莎贝拉罗塞里尼很辣、很性感但是太国际化了她不会跑来美国的所以呢?所以你得掌握胜算挑一个会一直在国内的人对啊,你之所以钓不到她是地理因素你说的“烧”就是烧这是艺术吗?要烧艺术也可以可以借个电话吗?-当然,你要打给你妈?-不是,我想拿来烧现在不行我要去睡了,烟熏得我头痛晚安,老弟晚安拿去以防万一太好了那是什么空手道?什么都不是那是他自创的你们处得怎样?蛮烂的我以为他会更有兄弟的感觉就像你和罗斯,亲密融洽现在是很亲,但是以前我们又吵又打,又拉又扯然后裙子就会被扯到头上来我们还学舌去烦对方怎么学舌?-我在问你啊我没空跟你闹你放弃得真快有看到乔伊吗?怎么了?就是这个其实是我不好,沙发就是用来放亮光漆的把瓷砖拿给我怎么回事?他在帮我重铺地板泥水匠给我起来!你要有始有终!是我先受害的灰姑娘,去钉柜子;灰姑娘,去铺瓷砖大章鱼天哪,我都忘了不能找别人吗?但是我有客人没关系,我去对不起,我得去工作我的一个熟客坚持要让我做你在做什么工作?我是按摩师我帮客人按摩你在按摩院工作?我们不那样叫,不过没错好劲爆我完全不知道好吧我过一会儿就回来除非你想跟我去你是说去看吗?不是,你也可以接受服务而且是免费招待不然要姐姐干什么?我并没有这么想不…我不会亲自招呼你那样很奇怪我会请其它小姐来做;我帮客人按摩真好玩嘿,激动吗?摩妮卡和瑞秋也在那里工作吗?好漂亮之前的地板好像一场噩梦你想进去干什么?嘘嘘如何?再见好,我选好了这是最后名单对啊,好正式对,这是钱德用他的电脑印的谁拿去护贝的?是我拿来我看看乌玛舒曼、薇诺娜瑞德伊丽莎白赫莉蜜雪儿菲佛桃乐丝汉弥尔?(溜冰名将)这是我的名单你知道她只有在冰上才会一直转吧? “舒活之家”怎么了?她扭断了我的手他摸我的屁股是她先摸我的那是我的工作什么意思?我可以上你,却不能摸你?你不能上她你以为我是妓女?不,我知道你是按摩师;很好,我又不是警察你去请威佛先生等5分钟好我不喜欢你你以为我是干那行的?天哪我不是干那行的你不是干那行的?不是你怎么会这么想?不知道,这里是纽约嘛我是说…我不知道随便,好一个完美的周末完美的句点等一下你说得没错,真的很完美我居然把它搞砸了你觉得很完美?也许称不上完美但很酷我们相处很愉快你觉得哪一次特别愉快?就是卷舌头的事还有我告诉你我喜欢什么,讨厌什么我喜欢烧东西,不喜欢不能烧的东西对,好我有话都能对你说因为你是我姐姐是那样结果我却摸你朋友惹你生气我也没有气到跳脚你有跳一、两下我真的很抱歉算了我觉得现在这一刻最棒了现在?拜托,我们去了时代广场买到忍者娃娃,我差点被妓女扭断手她不是妓女我跟朋友吹嘘时,她就是数到三一,二为什么不直接到二?为什么二?这样比较快要不是你噜唆,早就数到三了好,但是以后…这个柜子很重,好吗一,二所以要数到二吗?乔伊,干得好哇好大可能是量尺有问题可能所有的量尺都有问题还好嘛,你的挡一点点我的挡一点点我有更好的主意干脆不要挡我的,都去挡你的先说一声,那边油漆未干我跟你确认一下是咖啡因减半、中大杯少许榛果糖浆无脂无沫、加热的咖啡,对吧?太好了变态谢谢一杯咖啡外带是伊莎贝拉罗塞里尼不会吧?天哪该死!我居然把她删掉怎么?不然你会行动吗?搞不好骗人你不认为我会行动?你花了十年承认你喜欢我是吗?你最好庆幸这份名单已经护贝了这样吧,你放马过去就当她是候补人选好,帮我拿你真的要让他去?亲爱的,他要去泡贝拉罗塞里尼耶可惜没有爆米花可吃你好,我是罗斯你不认识我但我是你的超级影迷我是说…《蓝色夜合花》我能不能请你喝一杯咖啡?或是把钱给你你不是跟那个女生一对?算是啦但是没关系,我们有共识我们都有一份五个人的名人录你就在我的名单上所以我可以跟你上床这是恭维还是算了等一下嘛,伊莎贝拉先别急着否决这可是千载难逢的机会对你而言这就是名单?我可以看吗?恩,不行我不在名单上这不是定案都护贝了对,好吧,你本来在名单上但是我的朋友钱德…指出你太国际化了所以我拿薇诺娜瑞德取代你,比较本土真是太讽刺了因为我也有一份名单列了五个咖啡店蠢人就在昨天,那个人取代了你当朋友就好了你知道吗?我赌我塞得进去我拿5元赌你塞不进去掏支票吧,先生我有现金你太逊了我塞得刚刚好是啊,被你赢了我输了5元大钞拿去吧谢谢总统先生,你好祝你下次好运酒钱由我出

The One With Frank Jr.

[Scene: Chandler and Joey抯, there is lumber all over the apartment]

Chandler: (entering) Hey!

Joey: Hey!

Chandler: Hey-hey-hey. So what happened? A forest tick you off?

Joey: No. Y'know how we抮e always saying we need a place for the mail.

Chandler: Yeah!

Joey: Well, I started building one. But then I decided to take it to the next step.

Chandler: You抮e building a post office?

Joey: No, an entertainment unit, with a mail cubby built right in. It抯 a one day job, max.

Chandler: Okay. (notices that Joey is wearing some really tight jeans) My word! Those are snug.

Joey: Oh yeah. These are my old work pants, Sergio Valente抯.

(Chandler goes to his bedroom and opens the door. However, only the top half opens, and he trips into his bedroom over the bottom half.)

Joey: Power saw kinda got away from me there.


OPENING CREDITS


[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Phoebe is pacing back and forth waiting for someone.]

Rachel: (joining Phoebe outside) Hey Pheebs.

Phoebe: Hey!

Rachel: Any sign of your brother?

Phoebe: No, but he抯 always late.

Rachel: I thought you only met him once?

Phoebe: Yeah, I did. I think it sounds y'know big sistery, y'know, 慒rank抯 always late.?br>
Rachel: Well relax, he抣l be here.

Phoebe: No, I know, I抦 just nervous. Y'know it抯 just y'know Mom抯 dead, don抰 talk to my sister, Grandma抯 been sleeping a lot lately. It抯 like the last desperate chance to have a family, y'know, kinda thing. You抮e so sweet to wait with me.

Rachel: Well, actually Gunther sent me. You抮e not allowed to have cups out here, it抯 a thing. (takes her cup and goes back inside)

[Scene: inside Central Perk]

Chandler: Does anyone else think David Copperfield is cute?

Monica: No, but he told me, he thinks your a fox.

Chandler: All right, Janice, likes him. In fact she likes him so much she put him on her freebie list.

Joey: Her what?

Chandler: Well, we have a deal, where we each get to pick five celebrities that we can sleep with, and the other one can抰 get mad.

Ross: Ah, the heart of every healthy relationship. Honesty, respect, and sex with celebrities.

Monica: So, Chandler, who抯 on your list?

Chandler: Ah, Kim Basinger, Cindy Crawford, Halle Berry, Yasmine Bleeth, and ah, Jessica Rabbit.

Rachel: Now, you do realize that she抯 a cartoon, and way out of your league?

Chandler: I know, I know, I just always wondered if I could get her eyes to pop out of her head.

Joey: Hey, Monica, who would yours be?

Monica: First, I need a boyfriend, then I can have a list.

Joey: It抯 just a game Mon. (makes a 慍an-you-believe-her?face to the rest of the gang.) Rach, how about you?

Rachel: Oh, I don抰 know, I guess, Chris O扗onnel, John F. Kennedy, Jr., Daniel Day Lewis, Sting, and Parker Stevenson.

Ross: Spiderman?

Rachel: Hardy Boy.

Chandler: Peter Parker.

Ross: Thank you.

Rachel: What about you honey, who would be on your list?

Ross: Well I-I-I, that kind of thing requires some serious thought. First, I抣l divide my perspective canidates into catergories....

Chandler: (coughing) What a geek!

Phoebe: (entering) Everbody this is Frank! This is my half-brother Frank.

All: Oh, hi.

Phoebe: This is everybody. This is Ross.

Frank: How are you?

Ross: Hey.

Phoebe: Chandler.

Chandler: Hi.

Frank: Hi.

Phoebe: Joey.

Joey: Hey-hey!

Frank: Hey.

Phoebe: This is Monica.

Frank: Whoa!

Phoebe: And this is Rachel.

Rachel: Hi!

Frank: Whoa!!

Phoebe: I抦 gonna get coffee.

Frank: Hey, how do you guys get anything done?

Chandler: We don抰, really.

Rachel: Well, so, now, do you guys have a lot of big plans?

Phoebe: Oh yeah! Yeah, no, we抮e gonna connect, y'know bond, and everything.

Frank: Yeah, I was thinking that maybe we could go down to Time Square and pick up some ninja stars. And, oh, um, my friend Larry, he wants me to take a picture of a hooker.

Chandler: You know, we don抰 really take advantage of living in the city.

Joey: I know.

[Scene: Chandler and Joey抯, Joey is drilling a hole in the wall and the drill comes out the other side really close to Chandler抯 head. Chandler then rushes out to talk to Joey.]

Joey: Oh, I抦 sorry. Did I get 憏a?

Chandler: No, you didn抰 get me!! It抯 an electric drill, you get me, you kill me!!

Joey: Calm down, do you want this unit or not?

Chandler: I do NOT want this unit!!

Joey: Well, you should抳e told me that before, I抦 not a mind reader. Hey, we抮e out of beer. I抦 going to Monica抯.

Chandler: Fine! (goes into his room and slams the door, then he slams the bottom half of the door.)

[Scene: Monica and Rachel抯, Joey is entering]

Monica: Hey! Where 憏a headin?in those pants? 1982?

Joey: Oh Monica, listen, I ah, I saw down at the hardware store, they got those designer tiles on sale. If you ever want to redo the bathroom floor.

Monica: Why, what抯 wrong with my bathroom floor?

Joey: Nothing. It抯 just old and dingy, that抯 all.

Monica: I highly doubt that. (they both go to the bathroom)

Joey: Oh yeah. If you ah, move your hamper, you see what color the tile used to be. (Monica gasps) Yeah.

Monica: I can抰 live like this! What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?

Joey: Relax. Here hold this (hands her his beer). This old stuff just comes right off. (he bends down to try and lift some tile right in the middle of the floor, in his tight pants.)

Monica: That抯 a little more than I wanted to see.

Joey: (manages to pry off only a small piece) Aw! Look at that, every inch of this stuff is glued down. It抎 take forever to pry this up. You should ah, you should just leave it. (starts to walk away, but Monica grabs him)

Monica: I can抰 leave it! You gouged a hole in my dingy floor.

(Joey places the toliet brush and holder over the hole, which is in the middle of the floor.)

Joey: Eh! There you go.

Monica: You know that抯 nice, y'know we could put it back there after the surgeons remove it from your colon!

[Scene: Phoebe抯, Frank and her, are sitting on the counh, watching TV]

Phoebe: (sits up) Oh, ew!

Frank: What?

Phoebe: Yeah I know what I wanted to ask you. Um, can you roll your tongue? Because I can, and my Mom couldn抰, and I thought y'know, I figured that was something I got from our Dad.

Frank: What, wait, you mean like this? (does it)

Phoebe: Yeah, yeah. You can do it to. (tries to do it, but can抰)

Frank: Your not doing it.

Phoebe: Oh right, yeah okay, my Mom could, and I can抰. We don抰 have that....

Frank: When抯 your birthday?

Phoebe: Feburary 16th.

Frank: I know a guy who抯 the 18th.

Phoebe: Wow, that抯 close. When抯 yours?

Frank: October 25th.

b>Phoebe: That抯 the same month as Halloween. So, um, what kinda things do you like to do at home?

Frank: Melt stuff.

[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is working on his list]

Ross: Okay, I抳e got three of my five.

Rachel: Three of your five, what?

Ross: Celebrities I抦 allowed to sleep with.

Rachel: Oh my God! You are giving this a lot of thought.

Ross: Yeah, it抯 hard okay, I only have two spots left.

Chandler: All right, so who do you got it narrowed down to?

Ross: Okay, Elizabeth Hurely....

Chandler: Oooh-hoo, very attractive, forgiving.

Ross: Susan Sarandon.

Chandler: Eh, y'know what, she抯 to political, she probably wouldn抰 let you do it, unless you donated four cans of food first.

Ross: And!! Isabella Rosselini.

Chandler: Ooh-hoo. Very hot, very sexy. But ah, y'know she抯 too international, y'know she抯 never gonna be around.

Rachel: So?

Chandler: So, you gotta play the odds, pick somebody who抯 gonna be in the country like all the time.

Rachel: Yeah, 慶ause that抯 why you won抰 get Isabella Rosselini, geography.

[Scene: Phoebe抯, Frank is melting a plastic spoon.]

Phoebe: Okay so, by melting, you meant melting.

Frank: Yeah.

Phoebe: So is it like art?

Frank: Yeah, you can melt art. Hey, can I use your phone?

Phoebe: Um, yeah sure. Why you wanna call your Mom?

Frank: No, I wanna melt it.

Phoebe: Oh, well um, not right now. Y'know I抦 just gonna go to bed, I think the fumes are giving me a headache.

Frank: (starts laughing) Yeah!

Phoebe: G抧ight, bro.

Frank: G抧ight.

Phoebe: Here. (gives him a fire extinguisher) Y'know, just in case.

Frank: Oh, excellent. (starts to melt the fire extinguisher抯 hose.)


COMMERCIAL BREAK


[Scene: Monica and Rachel抯, Phoebe is eating breakfast with Monica while Frank is playing with num-chucks on the balcony]

Monica: What kind of karate is that?

Phoebe: No kind. He just makes it up.

Monica: So how抯 it going with you guys?

Phoebe: So far, it kinda blows. I don抰 know, I just thought y'know that he抎 feel more like a brother y'know, like you and Ross, just like close and connected and....

Monica: Oh honey, we抮e close now but you-you wouldn抰 believe the years of-of nugies, and wedgies, and flying wedgies, and atomic wedgies, and....(Phoebe shakes her head like she doesn抰 understand) That抯 where the waistband actually goes over your head.

Phoebe: Ah!!

Monica: Oh, we used to drive each other crazy playing the shadow game.

Phoebe: Oh, how do you play the shadow game?

Monica: Oh, how do you play the shadow game?

Phoebe: I just asked you.

Monica: I just asked you.

Phoebe: I don抰 have time for this.

Monica: No, that is what the game is.

Phoebe: Which you just gave up really quickly.

Chandler: (entering) Have you seen Joey?

Monica: What抯 the matter?

Chandler: Oh, just this! (turns around and has a paint lid stuck to the back of his pants.) Y択now what it抯 my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish.

Joey: (yelling from bathroom) Hey, does somebody wanna hand me one of those tiles.

Chandler: What抯 going on?

Monica: He抯 retiling my floor. (they both run to the bathroom)

Chandler: Yo!! Spackel boy! Get up!

Monica: Ah-ah-ah, now you started this, you will finish it.

Chandler: He started mine first!

Phoebe: Build the unit Cinderelly, lay the tile Cinderelly.

[Scene: Phoebe抯, Phoebe and Frank are watching TV.]

Frank: Whoa! Big octopus.

Phoebe: Yeah. (phone rings and Phoebe answers it) 慔ello. (listens) Oh my God, I totally forgot! (listens) Well can抰 someone else do it. (listens) But, I have company. (listens) Yeah, no look, that抯 all right I抣l come in.?(hangs up phone) Um, Frank, I抦 really sorry but I have to go to work. It抯-it抯 one of my regulars and he抯 insisting that I do 憉m.

Frank: Hey, what kind of work do you do?

Phoebe: Oh! I抦 a masseuse. I give people massages and stuff.

Frank: You-you work at one of those massage parlors?

Phoebe: Well, y'know we don抰 call it that, but yeah!

Frank: (starts laughing) Wow! That抯 wild! No, I had no idea.

Phoebe: All righty. I抣l be back in-in a little bit. Unless you wanna come with me?

Frank: You mean like watch?

Phoebe: No, no, you can get one yourself. It抣l be on the house! Y'know what are big sisters for?

Frank: Well, I don抰 think this, y'know.

Phoebe: No, no, no, I wouldn抰 do you myself, I mean that would be weird. Yeah, no, I抣l get one of the other girls to do it. Oh, this will be so much fun! Hey! Are you excited?

Frank: Yeah! Hey, do Monica and Rachel work there?

[Scene: Monica and Rachel抯 bathroom, Joey and Monica are admiring the new floor.]

Monica: It抯 beautiful! It抯 like the first bathroom floor there ever was. (Chandler tries to go to the bathroom) Whoa! Are you going in there for?

Chandler: What, like a number?

Ross: (entering) Hey!

Chandler: Hi! Bye! (runs to the bathroom)

Ross: Okay, I抦 done with my choices, these are final. (holds up a little card)

Rachel: Well, it抯 about time.

Joey: Ooh, very official.

Ross: Oh, yeah, well y'know Chandler printed it up on his computer.

Monica: And who laminated it?

Ross: That would be me.

Rachel: All right let me see. (grabs the card) Uma Thurman, Winona Ryder, Elizabeth Hurely, Michelle Pfieffer, and Dorothy Hammel?

Ross: Hey, it抯 my list.

Rachel: Okay honey, you do realize she only spins like that on ice.

[Scene: Healing Hands Inc. (Phoebe抯 work), Frank is being ushered in, by the arm, to the room Phoebe is in by another girl.]

Frank: Ow!-Ow!-Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Y'know, ow!

Phoebe: Hey!-Hey! What抯 going on?

Frank: She broke my arm.

Girl: He touched my fanny.

Frank: No, she touched mine first!

Girl: That抯 my job!

Frank: So wait, what抯 the deal here, I can have sex with you, but I can抰 touch you?

Phoebe and Girl: Ewww!!!

Phoebe: You can抰 have sex with her!

Girl: What抎 you think I was, a hooker?

Frank: No, your a masseuse, it抯 cool, I抦 not a cop.

Phoebe: Okay, Jasmine, can you, can you ask Mr. Whiffler if he can wait for like five minutes.

Jasmine: Fine. (starts to leave, and points at Frank) I don抰 like you!! (leaves)

Phoebe: (turns around and hits Frank) So that抯 what you thought I did!! God! That抯 not what I do!

Frank: Wait that抯-that抯, what that抯 not what you do?

Phoebe: Nooo! Why would you think that?

Frank: I don抰 know, I mean, y'know, this is the city y'know, I just, I mean, I don抰 know.

Phoebe: Whatever, it抯 the perfect end to the perfect weekend anyways.

Frank: Oh, wait, no your right, no it was perfect and I can抰 believe that I screwed it up so bad.

Phoebe: You really thought it was perfect?

Frank: Well, no, maybe-maybe it wasn抰 perfect, but y'know it was pretty cool, y'know, 慶ause we had all those great talks y'know.

Phoebe: Yeah, um, which ones in particular were great for you?

Frank: Well y'know about the tongue thing, y'know, and how I told you about my likes and my dislikes...

Phoebe: I don抰....

Frank: How-how I like to melt stuff, and how I dislike stuff that doesn抰 melt.

Phoebe: Right, okay, um-mm.

Frank: Yeah, y'know I feel like I can really talk to you 慶ause y'know you抮e my sister, y'know.

Phoebe: Yeah, I guess I do, yeah.

Frank: Then I go feel your friend up and make you mad at me.

Phoebe: Well, I-I wasn抰 hopping mad, y'know.

Frank: You hopped a little bit. Yeah, I really sorry.

Phoebe: Okay. All right, this is my favourite part of the weekend, right now, this.

Frank: This?

Phoebe: Uh-huh.

Frank: Oh come on we went, we went to Time Square, we found ninja stars, I almost got arm broken by a hooker...

Phoebe: She wasn抰 a hooker.

Frank: Well, when I tell my friends about her she will be.

[Scene: Chandler and Joey抯, everyone is there, helping to lift the entertainment center into place]

Chandler: Okay, on three. One....Two....

Joey: Why don抰 we just go on two.

Chandler: Why two?

Joey: Because it抯 faster.

Chandler: Yeah, I coulda counted to three like four times without all this 憈wo?talk.

Rachel: Oh!

Joey: All right, but in the future...

Ross: Okay!! Okay!!

Rachel: Come on!

Ross: Heavy thing, not getting lighter!

Chandler: Okay, one...two...

Joey: So we are going on two?

All: All right!! (they lift it into place, however there is one small problem, the unit is so long that it blocks some of both of their bedroom doors.)

Chandler: Oh, good job Joe.

Joey: Wow, it抯 big!

Chandler: Yeah-yeah, so big that it actually makes our doors look smaller!

Joey: Maybe, my ruler抯 wrong.

Phoebe: Maybe all the rulers are wrong.

Joey: Look it抯 not that bad. So what, it blocks a little of your door, a little of my door.

Chandler: Yeah, y'know what I got a better idea. How-how 慴out it blocks none of mine door and a lot of yours? (throws his shoulder into the center to try and move it, but it doesn抰 move.)

Joey: Yeah, listen, before I forget that side is still wet.

[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving some guy coffee.]

Rachel: Okay sir, um-mm, let see if I got this right. Ah, so this is a half-caf, double tall, easy hazel nut, non-fat, no foam, with whip, extra hot latte, right? (the guy nods) Okay, great. (she starts to walk away and under her breath) You freak.

(Isabella Rosselini enters)

Ross: (to Gunther) Thank you.

Isabella: (to Gunther) Um, coffee to go, please.

(Ross recognises her and goes over to the couch, mouthing 慜h my God?br>
Ross: Isabella Rosselini. (points to her)

Monica: Are you serious? (they all look) Oh my God.

Ross: Damn! I can抰 believe I took her off my list.

Monica: Why? 慍ause otherwise you抎 go for it?

Ross: Yeah, maybe.

Rachel: Oh-oh, you lie.

Ross: What you don抰 think I抎 go up to her?

Rachel: Ross, it took you ten years to finally admit you liked me.

Ross: Yeah, well missy, you better be glad that list is laminated.

Rachel: You know what honey, you go ahead, we抣l call her an alternate.

Ross: Okay, hold my crawler.

Rachel: Okay.

Monica: Rach, are you really gonna let him do this?

Rachel: Honey, he抯 about to go hit on Isabella Rosselini. I抦 just sorry we don抰 got popcorn.

Ross: (to Isabella) Hi! Hi, I抦 Ross, you don抰 know me, but I抦 a big, big fan of yours. I mean, Blue Velvet, woo-oo hoo! Um, I was wondering if I could um, maybe buy you a cup of coffee? (Gunther hands her change) Or maybe reimburse you for that one?

Isabella: Aren抰 you with that girl over there? (points at Rachel, who waves back)

Ross: Well, yeah, kinda. Um, but that抯 okay, see we have an understanding, um, see we each have this list of five famous people, (gets his out) so I抦 allowed to sleep with you. No, no, no, it抯 flattery.

Isabella: I抦 sorry. (starts to leave)

Ross: Oh no, no, no, wait, wait, Isabella. Don抰, don抰 just dismiss this so fast. I mean this is a once in a lifetime opportunity...

Isabella: Yeah, for you. Is that the list?

Ross: Um, yeah.

Isabella: May I see it?

Ross: Um, no.

Isabella: Come on! (grabs the list)

Ross: But, okay.

Isabella: (reading it) I抦 not on the list!

Ross: Um, see, but that抯 not the final draft.

Isabella: It抯 laminated!

Ross: Yeah, um, okay see, you were, you were on the list but my friend, Chandler (Chandler waves) brought up the very good point that you are international, so I bumped you for Wynona Rider, local.

Isabella: Y'know it抯 ironic...

Ross: What?

Isabella: ...because I have a list of five goofy coffee house guys and yesterday I bumped you for that guy over there. (points at a guy and leaves)

Ross: (to the rest of the gang) We抮e just gonna be friends.


CLOSING CREDITS


[Scene: Chandler and Joey抯, they are admiring the entertainment center]

Joey: Y'know what?

Chandler: Umm?

Joey: I bet 憏a ya I could fit in there. (points to a hole in the center)

Chandler: I抳e got five bucks says you can抰.

Joey: Get out your checkbook, mister.

Chandler: Oh, I think I have the cash.

(Joey successfully enters the entertainment center, and Chandler closes the door on Joey.)

Joey: You are dogged man! I totally fit!

Chandler: Yeah, you got me. (picks up a 2x4 and puts it through the handles so that the doors won抰 open) I抦 out five big ones! (puts the money in the crack between the door and frame) Here you go.

Joey: Thank you. Cha-ching! (Chandler starts to leave) Oh, well hello Mr. Lincoln. Better luck next time buddy. (Chandler leaves and closes the door) And the drinks are on me!

END

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