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老友记第五季The One After Ross Says Rachel

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亲友们,今天我们很高兴能分享罗斯与埃米莉结合的喜悦现在,罗斯请跟着我复述我,罗斯要迎娶埃米莉要迎娶瑞秋埃米莉埃米莉我继续好吗?他说"瑞秋",对吗?我应该站上去吗?是的,请继续我想我们重来吧罗斯,请覆颂我,罗斯要迎娶"艾-蜜-莉"要迎娶埃米莉我又不会娶别人成为我合法妻子无论病痛至死不渝成为我合法妻子无论病痛至死不渝 我真的会,埃米莉戒指埃米莉,请给罗斯带上戒指代表两人从此合为一体罗斯,请给埃米莉带上戒指代表两人永无止尽的爱乐意之至罗斯与埃米莉已经宣示我很高兴在此宣布他们成为夫妻你可以亲吻新娘这比他娶那个同性恋更糟保持微笑好吧很顺利如果他开枪杀她,那才叫惨刚才真是有趣,对不?你毁了一切拜托...根本是恶梦一场麻烦小声一点...我的亲友都在外面叫我怎么见人?门外有其它人你怎能这样对我?拜托,小声点不管他们俩怎样收场还是有结婚蛋糕吃,对吗?没...没事的你慢慢冷静下来,我就在门外她只是在补妆而已我恨你!!我也爱你!!你真会挑时间说错名字是啊,谢了,老爸大家应该跳舞啊这是个派对!!乔依,跳舞!!你好,华氏设计你好,我是罗斯的心理医生费兰基医生谁?罗斯忘了带他的头疼药所以罗斯会记错女人的名字所以这不是他的错天啊,是菲碧不是菲碧,是费医生你也有这毛病我希望你不要会错意我知道我们今天晚上要碰面我只是担心会影响我们的友谊我知道我们怎会做出这种事?七次!要知道,我们在国外在一个罗曼蒂克的异乡都是伦敦的错坏伦敦!不过,我们既然还在伦敦我们就可以继续做,对吗?我想我们没得选择但是一回家就不能再做只能在这里我看到下面有个酒窖两分钟后在那里见好的莫妮卡,我要问你一件事现在?罗斯在圣坛上说了我的名字我不能装做没听见啊我不知道莫妮卡,我该怎么办?做正确的事什么?就事论事,按部就班,置身事外!等等,听着我想我要去问罗斯他的想法什么? 等一下瑞秋,不行,他结婚了结婚了如果你不认清这点,我帮不上忙你是对的你帮不上忙杰克,是我们的错吗?我们是坏父母吗?是的是吗?是谁搞得座位不够,让宾客站着吃牛排?你要我们怎么吃嘛怎么样?你去哪里了?我们不是要在酒窖碰面吗?算了,放弃吧为什么?下次参观酒窖安排在两分钟后...乔依,你在干嘛?你答应菲碧的,在孩子出生前坚持吃素我想既然在国外就不算了也对他说到点子上了真遗憾出了些状况没有,事情会好转的一切都会没事,对吧?当然,她会没事的我是说,你只是说出了我的名字只是因为你看到了我如果你看到的是个马戏团小丑你会说"我要迎娶马戏团小丑"那不代表什么只是个小误会,没什么的是吧?当然不代表什么我能了解埃米莉为什么会误会因为那是你的名字但真的没有什么真的没有! 没有!罗斯,乐队在等新人的第一支舞乐队准备好了?我们一定得听乐队的,对吗?我才不管笨乐队怎么说!你吐我口水!对不起埃米莉在里面好久了我的婚礼上,我把自己关起来时我是在努力拆窗户想办法逃出去埃米莉...我进来了看吧,跟我一样呆会如果我突然大叫"好爽"你就装做没听见天啊,瑞秋你好,瑞秋罗斯说了我的名字我的名字,他说了我的名字那表示他还深爱着我信不信由你,我是对的你们想下楼去喝一杯吗?好啊,但是我们得换衣服我也想换衣服你先下楼占位子对,我们五分钟后下去十五分钟好喂? 是菲碧好极了发生什么事?罗斯说了我的名字我知道,但是我想那没什么好吧,菲碧让我们很客观的看待此事高一时,他迷上了我高一暑假时,他第一次看我穿两截式泳装从此就迷恋上我去我房间换衣服如何?我的衣服在...哇,你好美...没时间了兄弟,让我进去我带了个女孩子我这里也有女孩子才没有,我看到你跟莫妮卡进去我们..我们在聊天你说我们谁比较有机会泡上妞?我想我应该回答"是你"!!我们正在一起看电影没错,已经买了"我的巨人""我的巨人"? 我好爱那部电影这样真的可以吗?罗斯与埃米莉不会来睡了好漂亮啊我很不安,这样做对吗莫妮...这是蜜月套房这个房间期待有人上床如果没有,房间会很失望其它的蜜月套房会嘲笑它好吧!埃米莉?!没有!不在这下面!你找到她了吗?没有,我到处找遍了不可能,不然你就找到她了我想你应该继续找对,找个三十分钟或四十五分钟?四十五分钟内你能找到她两次了不,我猜想她正在找我而我却一直跑来跑去现在起我要留在这里等她时间很晚了该走了你们能陪我一下吗?我们明天得早起搭飞机对,大飞机好吧但我们愿意陪你谢谢!真的很感谢你们但你不需要摸我屁股还有一小时就要回纽约我知道,我一直观察这门好像隔音很好的样子不能这样,这太疯狂了第一,他可能会醒来第二.......来吧埃米莉...不是你可以放弃了,她没跟我们在一起我们来拿她的东西等一下,她在哪里?她躲起来了,她感到很羞辱她不想再看到你我们很遗憾你与埃米莉不能成为夫妻猴子但我觉得你很迷人对不起,我还在这里是吗,你还在呢快一点,快点去拿外面有一整车耶再见,姓盖的等一下...你们的女儿与我今晚应该度蜜月现在你们告诉她我会去机场,我希望她也去虽然我说了瑞秋的名字但那不代表什么她只是个朋友,如此而已告诉埃米莉我很爱她我的生命中不能没有她拜托,答应我你会转告她好吧,我会告诉她走吧,臭女人打电话给我就知道赖在浴室里,你怎么就不从窗户跳出去?我们收手吧是啊,这会让“那一晚”更特别严格说来,我们还在国际水域上我要去洗手间,待会儿那儿见?好我可以问你一件事吗?不行费莉丝与我在看"我的巨人"我想我的演技永远比不上巨人我是不是该放弃做演员?不是那个巨人比我年轻五岁你想我能跟他一样好?是的谢了别客气但是巨人比我高很多我不可能再长高了谁又知道未来会有什么科技?但是,钱德要是我一辈子就是不成功,普通高度的演员怎么办?莫妮卡,你去厕所半小时了我知道!一号出不来吗?菲碧!你吃肉了!你做爱了!我们没有啊!我知道你没有,我是说莫妮卡菲碧,我没有做爱怀孕害我看走眼我要去跟小鸡小鸭打招呼我也要你为何要打招呼?你不是喂了牠们四天吗?好吧,那我回家去现在真的只剩下我们俩还好我们有"纽约不做"的协定对既然我们谈到这个话题我只是想告诉你我在伦敦时很难过因为我哥哥结婚还有人以为我是罗斯的妈无论如何,那晚对我很重要我只是想跟你道谢那晚对我也很重要我倒没有心情差什么的它特别、是因为你很辣可以这样讲吗?可以我也很可爱吧?你也很可爱谢谢我要回去拆行李了再见我还在伦敦时间,这样算吗?绝对算好极了瑞秋...你在这里做什么?我在这里候补机位很久了埃米莉没出现?还没有飞机什么时候起飞?"这是飞雅典1066班机的最后通知"我想很快了我很遗憾我真是不了解她怎能这样对我?我希望她出现这很愚蠢吗?你不愚蠢,罗斯那是因为你很爱她还不是一样"所有1066班机乘客请立刻登机"我听到了!就这样了你知道吗?你应该自己去什么?没错,你应该自己去到远方、冷静想想对你有好处我...我不知道罗斯,对你有好处的我...我是可以自己去我不敢相信她会这样你知道吗?我决定自己去好极了何乐不为?谢谢你我们回家再见如果我能坐上飞机回家的话喂...算了 什么?等一下你跟我去如何?反正我有两张机票,何不呢?我不知道,罗斯这样好吗?当然,这会很棒你可以躺在沙滩上我则为失败婚姻哭个没完听到我说笑话没?我很需要个朋友好吧,或许...我能帮上忙好极了给你我们一起去希腊我忘了夹克等一下...叫他们等我一下好的埃米莉...不,不,不...天啊,埃米莉...是的,请给我一杯红酒给他一杯白酒机场在动耶我们在动吗?为何我们在动?机长知道我们在动吗?我的天啊!

The One After Ross Says Rachel

[Scene: Ross’s Wedding, continued from last season, the Minister is about to marry Ross and Emily.]

Minister: Friends. Family. We are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous union of Ross and Emily. (Time lapse) Now Ross, repeat after me. I Ross...

Ross: I Ross...

Minister: Take thee, Emily...

Ross: Take thee, Rachel...(All his friends have looks of shock on their faces. He realizes what he said. Quickly he says.) Emily. (A slight chuckle.) Emily.

Minister: (Looking and feeling awkward. he looks towards Emily.) Uhh...Shall I go on?

Rachel: (To the woman sitting in front of her) He-he said Rachel, right? Do you think I should go up there?

Emily: Yes, yes, do go on.

Minister: I think we’d better start again. Ross, repeat after me. I, Ross…

Ross: I, Ross…

Minister: Take thee, EM-I-LY…

Ross: Take thee, (Glares at the Minister) Emily. (Chuckles) Like there’d be anybody else. (Emily is glaring at him.)

Minister: As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, till death parts us.

Ross: As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, until death parts us. Really, I do. Emily. (Points at her.)

Minister: May I have the rings? (He is given the rings) Emily, place this ring on Ross’s finger as a symbol of your bond everlasting. (She jams the ring onto his finger) Ross, place this ring in Emily’s hand as a symbol of the love that encircles you forever.

Ross: Happy too.

Minister: Ross and Emily have made their declarations and it gives me great pleasure to declare them husband and wife.

Ross: Yay!

Minister: You may kiss the bride.

(He goes to kiss her, but she isn’t very receptive of the kiss. She keeps avoiding him, until Ross finally gets to kiss her on her cheek.)

Mrs. Geller: (To Mr. Geller) This is worse than when he married the lesbian.

(The band starts to play, and the recessional starts. Ross tries to take Emily’s hand, but she snatches it away from him.)

Emily: Just keep smiling.

Ross: Okay.

Joey: Well, that went well. Yeah.

Chandler: It could’ve been worse, he could’ve shot her.

(Ross and Emily make it to the lobby.)

Ross: (laughs) That uh, that was pretty funny. Wasn’t it?

(Emily gives him a forearm shot across the stomach.)

Opening Credits

[Scene: The Wedding reception, Ross and Emily are in the bathroom and Emily is yelling at him. Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are standing outside the doorway.]

Emily: (Yelling from inside the bathroom) You’ve spoiled everything! It’s like a nightmare! My friends and family are out there! How can I face them?! How can you do this to me?!

Joey: (To the gang) Hey, no matter what happens with Ross and Emily, we still get cake right?

Ross: (exiting the bathroom) That-that-that’s all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. I’ll be right out here. (She slams the door in his face, to the gang) She’s just fixing her makeup.

Emily: I hate you!!

Ross: And, I love you!! (He walks into the living room)

Mr. Geller: Boy, bad time to say the wrong name, huh Ross?

Ross: That’s true, thanks dad. (To All) People should be dancing! Huh? Hey, this is a party! Come on! Joey, dance!! (He starts to dance but stops when no one else joins him.)

(Mrs. Waltham’s phone rings and she answers it.)

Mrs. Waltham: Yes, Waltham interiors.

Phoebe: (On the phone, in New York) Uh, hello, this is Ross Geller’s personal physician, Dr. Philange.

Mrs. Waltham: Who?

Phoebe: Yeah, I’ve discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine, uh, now without it, uh, in the brain of Ross, uh women’s names are interchangeable, through-through no fault of his own.

Mrs. Waltham: Oh my God, Phoebe.

Phoebe: No, not Phoebe, Dr. Philange. Oh no! You have it too!

(Mrs. Waltham hangs up on her.)

Phoebe: Hello?

(Cut to Chandler and Monica at the buffet table.)

Chandler: Hey.

Monica: Hey.

Chandler: Oh wow, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way but, I know we had plans to meet up tonight and, ugh, I’m just kinda worried about what it might do to our friendship.

Monica: I know. How could we have let this happen?

Chandler: Seven times!

Monica: Ugh! Well, y’know, we were away…

Chandler: In a foreign, romantic country…

Monica: I blame London.

Chandler: Bad London! (Takes a spoon and smacks the turkey.)

Monica: So look umm, while we’re st-still in London, I mean, we can keep doing it right?

Chandler: Well, I don’t see that we have a choice. But, when we’re back home, we don’t do it.

Monica: Only here.

Chandler: Y’know, I saw a wine cellar downstairs…

Monica: I’ll meet you there in two minutes.

Chandler: Okay!

(He throws down his plate and runs to the wine cellar, Monica is about to follow him but is intercepted by Rachel.)

Rachel: Mon, honey, I gotta ask you something.

Monica: (impatiently) Now?

Rachel: Ross said my name up there, I mean, come on, I just can’t pretend that didn’t happen can I?

Monica: Oh, I-I don’t know.

Rachel: Monica, what should I do?

Monica: Just uh, do the right thing. (Uses some breath spray)

Rachel: What?

Monica: Toe the line. Thread the needle. Think outside the box! (Tries to leave, but is stopped by Rachel.)

Rachel: Whoa, wait, listen, I think I’m just gonna talk to Ross about what he think it meant.

Monica: Wait. Rachel, no, he’s married. Married! If you don’t realize that, I can’t help you.

Rachel: Okay, you’re right. You’re right. You can’t help me.

(Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller.)

Mrs. Geller: Jack, is it all our fault? Were we bad parents?

Mr. Waltham: (walking by) Yes.

Mr. Geller: Oh yeah, well who serves steak when there’s no place to sit, I mean how are you supposed to eat this?

Joey: Hey, what’s up? (He has solved the problem of eating the steak, he’s eating it with his hands.)

(Cut to Monica and Chandler, Monica is running up to him.)

Monica: Where were you? We were supposed to meet in the wine cellar?

Chandler: Forget it, that’s off.

Monica: Why?!

Mr. Waltham: (drunkenly) The next tour of the wine cellar will plan in two in-in minutes…

(Joey walks up to them.)

Monica: Joey, what are you doing? You promised Phoebe you wouldn’t eat meat until she has the babies!

Joey: Well, I figured we’re in another country, so it doesn’t count.

Monica: That’s true.

Chandler: The man’s got a point.

(Cut to Rachel and Ross.)

Rachel: Oh, hi!

Ross: Hi!

Rachel: Hi. Sorry, things aren’t working out so well.

Ross: Oh no! It could be better, but it’s gonna be okay, right?

Rachel: Oh yeah! Of course, I mean, she’s gonna get over this, y’know? I mean, so you said my name! Y’know you just said it ‘cause you saw me there, if you’d have seen a circus freak, you would’ve said, "I take thee circus freak." Y’know, it didn’t mean anything, it’s just a mistake. It didn’t mean anything. Right?

Ross: No! No! Of course it didn’t mean anything! I mean, uh well, I can understand why Emily would think it meant something, y’know, because-because it was you…

Rachel: Right…

Ross: But it absolutely didn’t. (Yelling towards the bathroom) It didn’t!! It didn’t!!

Joey: (approaching) Ross, hey, the band’s ready outside for your first dance with Emily, so…

Ross: (sarcastic) Oh! Oh-oh, the band’s ready! Well, I-I-we gotta do what the band says—I don’t care about the stupid band!!

Joey: You spit on me man! (Wipes his face.)

Ross: Look, I’m sorry.

Joey: Emily is kinda taking a long time, huh?

Rachel: (laughs) Y’know when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame.

Ross: Oh, right!

Rachel: Get the hell out of there, y’know?

(They all start laughing, and quickly stop when they realize what she just said and run over to the bathroom.)

Ross: (Bangs on the bathroom door) Emily? Emily? I’m coming in. (He opens the door to reveal that the window is gone, along with Emily.)

Rachel: Well, look at that, same thing.

[Scene: London Marriott, Monica and Chandler are walking to her room.]

Chandler: Listen, in the middle of everything if I scream the word, "Yippee!" just ignore me.

(She laughs and opens the door to reveal Rachel sitting on the bed.)

Monica: Oh my God, Rachel! Hi!

Chandler: Oh, hello Rachel.

Rachel: Ross said my name. Okay? My name. Ross said my name up there that obviously means that he still loves me! (They both just stare at her.) Okay, don’t believe me, I know I’m right—do you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink?

Chandler: Yes, we do. But, we have to change first.

Monica: Yes, I want to change. And why-why don’t you go down and get us a table?

Chandler: Yeah, we’ll be down in like five minutes.

Monica: (elbows him) Fifteen minutes.

Rachel: Okay.

(The phone rings and Rachel answers it.)

Rachel: Hello? Oh, Pheebs! (To them) It’s Phoebe!

Chandler: Oh, yay…

Monica: Great…

Rachel: Hi!

Phoebe: Hi, so what happened?

Rachel: Well, Ross said my name.

Phoebe: Yeah, I know, but I don’t think that means anything.

Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, y’know what, let’s look at this objectively all right? Ninth grade, right? The obsession starts. All right? The summer after ninth grade he sees me in a two-piece for the first time, his obsession begins to grow. So then…

Chandler: (To Monica) Hey, listen, why don’t we go change in my room?

Monica: But my clothes are—ohh! (They both leave.)

(Cut to Chandler’s room, he opens the door slowly to see if Joey is there and after seeing that he isn’t, ushers Monica into the room, closes the door, and the security bar.)

Chandler: Wow, you look…

Monica: No time for that!

(They both start to frantically rip each other’s clothes off, but are interrupted when Joey tries to open the door.)

Joey: Hey, dude, let me in. I got a girl out here!

Chandler: Well, I’ve got a girl in here.

Joey: No you don’t, I just saw you go in there with Monica!

Chandler: Well, we’re-we’re hanging out in here!

Joey: Look, which one of us is gonna be having sex in there, me or you?

Chandler: Well, I suppose I’d have to say you!! But, what if we’re watching a movie in here?

Monica: Which we are, and-and we already paid for it. It’s My Giant!

Joey: My Giant? I love that movie!

[Scene: Ross and Emily’s room, Chandler and Monica are still looking for a place to do the deed.]

Monica: You really think this is okay?

Chandler: Well, Ross and Emily aren’t gonna use it.

Monica: Oh, it’s so beautiful. Ohh! Y’know, I-I don’t know if I feel right about this.

Chandler: Oh Mon-Mon-Mon-Mon-look, this is the honeymoon suite. The room expects sex. The room would be disappointed if it didn’t get sex. All of the other honeymoon suites would think it was a loser.

Monica: Okay!

Chandler: Okay!

(They both run to rip the covers off the bed, but are interrupted by Ross.)

Ross: (entering) Emily?!

Chandler: Nope, not under here!

Monica: You didn’t find her?

Ross: No, I’ve looked everywhere!

Chandler: Well, you couldn’t have looked everywhere or else you would’ve found her!

Monica: Yeah, I think you should keep looking!

Chandler: Yeah, for about 30 minutes.

Monica: Or 45.

Chandler: Wow, in 45 minutes you can find her twice. (Monica smiles at that.)

Ross: No! For all I know, she’s trying to find me but couldn’t because I kept moving around. No, from now on, I’m staying in one place. (He sits down on the bed.) Right here.

Monica: Well, it’s getting late.

Chandler: Yeah, we’re gonna go.

Ross: Actually, do you guys mind staying here for a while?

Monica: Ugh, y’know, umm we gotta get up early and catch that plane for New York.

Chandler: Yeah, it’s a very large plane.

Ross: (disappointed) That’s cool.

Chandler: But, we’ll stay here with you.

Ross: Thanks guys! (They both sit down on either side of him.) I really appreciate this, y’know, but you don’t have to rub my butt.

(Chandler slowly takes his hand away.)

Commercial Break

[Scene: Ross and Emily’s room, the next morning. Ross is now asleep and has his head in Monica’s lap and his feet on Chandler’s lap. Monica and Chandler are both still awake and depressed.]

Chandler: We have to leave for New York in an hour.

Monica: I know, I’ve been looking at those doors, they look pretty sound proof, don’t you think?

Chandler: We can’t do that that’s insane. I mean ‘A’ he could wake up and ‘B’ y’know, let’s go for it.

(They both try to slowly extricate themselves from Ross, but there’s a knock on the door that awakens him.)

Ross: Em-Emily? (Looking around for her.) Em-Emily? (He runs to the door.) Emily! (He opens the door to reveal the Walthams standing outside.)

Mr. Waltham: No.

Mrs. Waltham: You can forget about Emily, she’s not with us.

Mr. Waltham: We’ve come for her things.

Ross: Wait, well wh-wh-wh-where is she?

Mr. Waltham: She’s in hiding. She’s utterly humiliated. She doesn’t want to see you ever again.

Mrs. Waltham: We’re very sad that it didn’t work out between you and Emily, m. But, I think you’re absolutely delicious.

Mr. Waltham: Excuse me, I’m standing right here!

Mrs. Waltham: Oh yes, there you are.

Rachel: (entering, carrying an armful of those little soaps.) Hey-hey, you guys oh hurry up, get some, there’s a whole cart outside… (Sees the Walthams and stops.)

Mr. Waltham: Goodbye Geller.

Ross: Now, hold on! Hold on! (Stops him) Look, look, your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that I’m gonna be at that airport and I hope that she’ll be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachel’s name, but it didn’t mean anything, Okay? She’s-she’s just a friend and that’s all! (Rachel sits down, depressed.) That’s all! Now just tell Emily that I love her and that I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. Please, promise me that you’ll tell her that.

Mr. Waltham: All right, I’ll tell her. (To his wife) Come on bugger face!

Mrs. Waltham: (As she walks pass Ross, she pats his but.) Call me.

Mr. Waltham: You spend half your life in the bathroom, why don’t you ever go out the bloody window!

[Scene: A 747 somewhere over the North Atlantic, Monica and Chandler are sitting in first class, depressed.]

Monica: Y’know, maybe it’s best that we never got to do it again.

Chandler: Yeah, it kinda makes that-that one night special. (Realizes something) Y’know, technically we still are over international waters.

Monica: I’m gonna go to the bathroom, maybe I’ll see you there in a bit?

Chandler: ‘Kay!

(Monica gets up and heads for the bathroom, Chandler turns to watch her go and is startled to see Joey sitting in Monica’s seat.)

Joey: Can I ask you something?

Chandler: Uhh, no.

Joey: Felicity and I, we’re watching My Giant, and I was thinking, "I’m never gonna be as good an actor as that giant." Do you think I’m just wasting my life with this acting thing?

Chandler: No.

Joey: I mean, the giant is like five years younger than me, y’know, you think I’ll ever get there?

Chandler: Yes.

Joey: Thanks man.

Chandler: Okay man. (Chandler starts to get up.)

Joey: But what about how much taller he is than me?

(Time lapse, Chandler is finishing his third little bottle of booze.)

Joey: I mean, there’s no way I can make myself taller now, y’know? And who knows what science will come up with in the future, but Chandler, what if I die an unsuccessful, regular sized man?

(Monica returns.)

Joey: Hey, Monica, wow you’ve been in the bathroom for like a half-hour.

Monica: I know!

Joey: Had the beef-tips, huh?

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is eating cereal from a bowl she has balanced on her stomach as Joey, Chandler, and Monica return.]

Phoebe: Hey!

Chandler: Hey!

Joey: Hi!

(They all hug.)

Phoebe: (To Joey) You ate meat! (Joey is shocked) (To Chandler and Monica) You had sex! (They’re shocked.)

Chandler: No we didn’t!

Phoebe: I know you didn’t, I was talking about Monica.

Monica: Phoebe, I did not have sex.

Phoebe: This pregnancy is throwing me all off.

Joey: All right, I’m gonna go say hi the chick and the duck.

Phoebe: Oh, me too!

Joey: Why would you need to say hi to them, you’ve been feeding them for four days?

Phoebe: Oh right, maybe I’ll just go home.

(She grabs her bag and leaves, Joey moves a little quicker to his apartment, leaving Monica and Chandler alone.)

Monica: Well, we certainly are alone.

Chandler: Yes! Good thing we have that, ‘Not in New York’ rule.

Monica: Right. Umm, listen since we’re-we-re on that subject, umm, I just wanted to tell you that uh, well, I-I was going through a really hard time in London, what with my brother getting married and that guy thinking I was Ross’s mother…

Chandler: Right.

Monica: Well, an-anyway, I just—that night meant a lot to me, I guess I’m just trying to say thanks.

Chandler: Oh. Y’know, that night meant a lot to me too, and it wasn’t because I was in a bad place or anything, it just meant a lot to me ‘cause, you’re really hot! Is that okay?

Monica: (laughs) That’s okay.

Chandler: And I’m cute too.

Monica: And you’re cute too.

Chandler: Thank you! (They hug.) All right, I gotta go unpack.

Monica: Okay.

Chandler: Bye.

(After he closes the door, Monica starts to follow him, but thinks better of it and stops.)

Chandler: (entering) I’m still on London time, does that count?

Monica: That counts!

Chandler: Oh, good! (They start kissing.)

[Scene: An airport in London, Ross is waiting for Emily to show up to go on their honeymoon and sees Rachel walking past.]

Ross: Rach! Rach!

Rachel: (she stops and turns) Hi!

Ross: Hi! What are you, what are you doing here?

Rachel: Well, I-I-I’ve been on Standby for a flight home for hours.

Ross: Oh.

Rachel: Ohh, so no sign of Emily huh?

Ross: Not yet.

Rachel: So umm, what time are you supposed to leave?

Gate Agent: (On the P.A.) This is the last call for Flight 1066 to Athens. The last call.

Ross: Pretty soon I guess.

Rachel: Yeah. I’m sorry.

Ross: I just, I don’t understand, I mean, how-how can she do this? Y’know, what, am I, am I like a complete idiot for thinking that she’d actually show up?

Rachel: No, you’re not an idiot, Ross. You’re a guy very much in love.

Ross: Same difference.

Gate Agent: (On the P.A.) All ticketed passengers for Flight 1066 to Athens should now be on board.

Ross: I get it! Well, that’s that.

Rachel: No, you know what, I think you should go.

Ross: What?

Rachel: Yeah, I do. I think you should go, by yourself, get some distance, clear your head, I think it’d be really good.

Ross: Oh, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t know…

Rachel: Oh, come on Ross! I think it would be really good for you!

Ross: I could, yeah, I can do that.

Rachel: Yeah.

Ross: I can’t, I can’t even believe her! No, y’know what, I am, I am gonna go!

Rachel: Good!

Ross: I know, why not?

Rachel: Right!

Ross: Right?

Rachel: Right!

Ross: Y’know—thanks! (They hug)

Rachel: Okay, I’ll see you back at home, if I ever get a flight out of here.

Ross: Yeah, well…nah.

Rachel: What? Wait, what?

Ross: Why don’t you come, I mean, I-I have two tickets, why not?

Rachel: Well-well, I don’t know Ross—really?

Ross: Yeah, yeah, it’ll be great! You can, you can lay on the beach and I can cry over my failed marriage. See-see how I make jokes?

Rachel: Uh-huh.

Ross: No really, I mean, I mean, God, I could use a friend.

Rachel: Oh wow, uh okay, uh maybe. Umm, yes, I can do that!

Ross: Okay!

Rachel: Okay!

Ross: Cool!

Rachel: All right!

Ross: Come on! (They go to the jetway, Ross hands the tickets to the gate agent.) Here.

Rachel: Oh, okay, we’re going. Yeah.

Ross: Ah! Ah! I forgot my jacket!

Rachel: Oh, wait-wait-wait…

Ross: You tell them to wait!

Rachel: Okay. Wait! Wait!

(Ross retrieves his jacket and sees that not only has Emily arrived, but she as seen Rachel take her place on the plane.)

Ross: Emily.

(She stares at him and Ross realizes what she’s thinking.)

Ross: Oh no-no-no! Oh-no! (Emily starts to run out and Ross chases her.) No! No! Emily!

Ending Credits

[Scene: Flight 1066 to Athens, Rachel is ordering a drink for Ross and herself.]

Rachel: Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot and uh, (points to Ross’s seat.) he will have a white wine spritzer. Woo! (Looks out the window.) Hey, look at that, the airport’s moving. (Realizes that that’s not how it works.) Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? Hey, time-out, umm, yeah, does the captain know that we’re moving? (Sits back in defeat.) Oh my God. Oh, my gosh.

End

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