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老友记第五季The One With All The Kissing

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你在泡泡里好乖你怕是喝高了是我我进来啦今天累翻了吃鸡肉吗?不吃,谢谢。不要鸡,谢谢你确定?我还叫了粟米和茄汁豆我再说最后一次,不要!滚出去,乔伊!好你还好吗?他赖着不肯走不停问我吃不吃鸡鸡?我想吃点鸡我能要三块鸡肉凉拌卷心菜,豆和一瓶可乐吗减肥可乐早,菲比我非得告诉你们我来这儿的路上那个司机……名字叫安格斯吗?什么?安格斯是我们在伦敦碰到的出租车司机好他载我们去哪家酒吧来着?威奇夫对了,那里啤酒很棒!巴丁顿!菲比要说故事对,那个司机的帽子非常好玩算了,我不想说了嘿,罗斯!巴丁顿!天!好啤酒。为了巴丁顿,我宁愿步行回伦敦买醉世贸中心附近的英国酒吧就有得卖回头见!瑞秋不是该回来了吗?是啊,她的飞机在雅典误点了,但是,无论如何也该到了你跟她通过电话了?她听起来火大吗不大,因为她喜欢我;把她扔上飞机运去希腊的可是老兄你我没有扔下瑞秋,知道吗?爱米丽在机场出现我必须跟她走我尽丈夫的职责她是我的妻子!瑞秋是我的妻子!爱米丽!爱米丽是我的妻子我这是怎么了?还没有爱米丽的消息?自从她在机场跑开就杳无音信。你竟然追不上她,我不信她跑得真快!你以为你可以打击我!出去单挑!瑞秋,我很抱歉我真的很抱歉别这样你迫不得已这么平静?你不生气?你一定很难受难受!我到的可是希腊!豪华酒店,迷人沙滩,人也友善对瑞秋来说还不赖那,我们和好了?好,好得很谢谢你,瑞秋你最好哦,不,你才是最棒的噢,我要去花店看着吧,没人告诉我爱米丽的下落所以我要寄72枝红玫瑰到她父母家每一支代表我和她相识相恋的一个日子那样她就会理睬我了你写卡片的时候记得要写给“爱米丽”你在希腊玩得很尽兴真好什么?希腊之行糟透了!罗斯抛弃我!我不敢出门,总呆在他们的蜜月套房人家都来问我”盖勒太太!你干吗哭呢?”羞死人了!我就像个白痴都是我的错你知道吗?因为我做了超错误的决定不是那样的是真的我追罗斯追到了愚蠢的伦敦去它的伦敦!菲比你是对的我压根就不该去伦敦从现在起你帮我做所有的决定噢,不我以前试过帮人做决定掌管别人的生活可一点不自在我来好。莫妮卡,从现在起,你掌控我的爱情生活好。我要上班了瑞秋,你回来了真好菲比亲你们真好瑞秋,亲爱的,看你和乔伊在招待会上的照片,好可爱他结婚了罗斯结婚了我还是无法相信亲爱的,老实说我必须接受都是我的错亲爱的!拿边上!手脏!会有污渍!噢,天!没事的。我知道你现在很伤心我也知道那不关我的事我猜那跟她有点关系假如你放弃罗斯你会发现好男人满街都是看,阿甘就不错,很可爱唉,阿甘是有点……那边那个人呢还记得吗?你有一次跟他在柜台调情!噢,我不知道我不知道你去跟他聊聊!我们不是说好了吗,我替你做决定,我叫你去跟他聊好,听你的去跟他聊天,你就能得到幸福嘿,菲比伦敦行的照片洗出来了这是我们在伦敦塔的合影全体合照那是罗斯,乔伊和你和我我们谈论伦敦是不是太多了?抱歉,只是因为我没去怀孕把我害苦了抱歉抱歉如何?随便聊了聊明晚和他约会我早告诉过你!你能忘了罗斯滚出去!怎么那么久?我被逮住干活但我明天就不干了那还差不多多谢再见,伙计搞什么鬼?也许是他从伦敦学回来的欧式道别欧洲人才不那样呢法国式的感觉我真的玩得很开心我也是那,到此为止?除非你想进来?好啊!等等,我做不了主等我一下莫妮卡呢?我要找她做决定洗衣服去了那是什么?今天邮来的72枝红玫瑰每一支代表我和爱米丽相识相恋的一天切成碎片真可怕也不是那么糟莫妮可以用来做菜我想去淋雨没有下雨我不能等!你哪也别去就坐在这里我给你泡茶我们来谈谈好吗?嘿,Dave我们下次再约吧。我室友不大舒服好,再见!亲爱的,听着我知道事情看来不妙瑞秋,出来一下成吗?我的袜子掉地上了你什么毛病!你想惹麻烦吗?袜子没掉地上嘛我碰到Dave,他说你跟他吹了!你听我说!我来发号施令!我要你离开罗斯,然后找Dave你到底在干嘛?基本上我在努力,我想告诉他,我还爱他什么?你不能那样说!为什么?为什么不?谁不乐意被爱?我做决定,我说不许!你再不能帮我做决定了因为你被解雇了你不能解雇我我帮你决定我没被解雇!哈哎瑞秋别这样,让我进来有麻烦吗?瑞秋把门锁了我可以把门踢开假如你给我点甜头瑞秋!让我进去!谢谢你瑞秋?我能去外面跟你谈谈吗?我们真的要谈谈那谈啊好,谈就谈记得我们刚商量过你的企图?什么企图?瑞秋想上摇摆舞舞蹈课我想这主意很笨又危险,又不会有结果而且可能会受伤莫妮说得对摇摆舞满复杂的我要打个电话原本想寄给爱米丽的五只大泰迪熊我要取消掉我的天!想想她对玫瑰花下的毒手我要去表白我知道你不信我在你对他表白前,至少找一个支持你的人,你肯定找不到但我……求你好乔伊!我已经进来了!好,好你上次说没去成伦敦感觉被排斥了我们都觉得很糟所以决定一起去旅行!噢,那很好啊!太好了!到哪里去野餐在中央公园!中央——公园?我们所有人,一整天没意思那不算旅行!我刚从公园回来我们要赞美那愚蠢的公园吗?就在我家旁边,太棒了那我回家独自享受去中央公园这个点子吧等一秒种,亲亲先生我想要跟你谈谈你一直玩的欧洲新把戏让我非常不舒服住“嘴”吧!我只是想给我们的圈子一点文化氛围而已好别把那东西放我嘴里让我想吐!嘿,菲比来了!菲比!喔!好。喔!嗨菲比,我们认为野餐的主意有点……没什么意思,不去了我们决定,今天下午出发,整个周末都在大西洋城过!大西洋城!很棒!谁想出来的我是我提议的是我建议另找地方的然后我想到了大西洋城那可不就是“另一个地方”?一小时后,楼上集合好!我要去收拾行李瑞秋,走我过会上楼找你瑞秋,你没找到人支持你,所以你不许跟罗斯讲那无关紧要你知道表白爱意却得不到回应有多痛苦吗?我不在乎我可看不下去你在看什么?报纸有什么新闻世界大事我有话要跟你说大家都不赞成我这样做但我想他们错了人都会犯错是啊有次在博物馆我说碳定年法过时了……我有重要的话要说,罗斯继续我想说我要说我还爱着你,罗斯我不知道如何是好你在耍我吗?那可不道德我很认真的!我真的很认真!那你干吗笑?因为我听见自己这样说真荒谬!我是说你都结婚了!这很荒谬!说完以后我就好像魂不附体一个声音飘出来骂我“笨蛋”!我结婚了婚后和新娘还没说过话很抱歉。那一点也不好笑事实上,就是好笑我妻子连我电话都不回我不知道我妻子的下落嘿,罗斯!你老婆呢?不知道!噢,天!你能忘了我跟你说过的话吗我不得不忘掉因为事实是是你跟爱米丽结婚了就是那样噢,天我们的友情不会泡汤吧?跟你表白,很笨么?很高兴听你那么说假如没有麻烦缠身谁不乐意被爱呢我也这么说过!谢谢你那么好不,谢谢你谢谢你好!出发!来!大西洋城!掷骰子去!击掌,掷骰子去!菲比,你在漏水天啊,你破水了别担心,我可以坐孕妇专座菲比,我们现在就要送你去医院菲比,孩子要出生了击掌!孩子要出生了!还记得我的羊水破了吗!菲比要生孩子了!我知道这很美,很不可思议我必须在离开房间时吻菲比和瑞秋她们怎么没看到我们做爱呢?你了解女人吗?不了解算了

The One With All The Kissing

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's Bathroom, Chandler and Monica are sharing a candlelight bubble bath while drinking champagne and they clink their glasses.]

Monica: You look cute in bubbles.

Chandler: Ehh, you're just liquored up.

(They move into kiss but are interrupted by Joey knocking on the door.)

Joey: Hey, it's me! I'm comin' in!

(Monica quickly dives under the water as Joey enters. He looks a little shocked at what Chandler's doing.)

Chandler: I've had a very long, hard day.

Joey: Ahh, I'm gonna go get some chicken. Want some?

Chandler: Ahh, no thanks. No chicken, bye-bye then.

Joey: Okay.

(Joey turns to leave but stops at the door.)

Joey: You sure? Some extra crispy? Dirty rice? Beans?

Chandler: For the last time no! Get out! Get out, Joey!

Joey: All right!

(Joey leaves and Monica comes up for air.)

Chandler: Are you okay? I'm so sorry, he wouldn't leave. He kept asking me about chicken.

Monica: Chicken? I could eat some chicken.

Chandler: Hey Joe!

(Monica goes back underwater as Joey re-enters.)

Chandler: Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke-(Yelps in

pain as Monica grabs him underwater)-Diet Coke.

(Joey gives him a thumbs up and heads for the chicken.)

Opening Credits

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are eating breakfast.]

Phoebe: (entering) Hey!

Chandler: Hey, Pheebs!

Joey: Mornin' Pheebs!

Phoebe: I have to tell you this story. Okay, I was coming over here and this driver…

Joey: (interrupting) Was his name Angus? (Monica and Chandler laugh.)

Phoebe: What?

Joey: Oh, he was this cab driver we had in London.

Phoebe: Oh. Ha-ha-ha. All right, anyway…

Monica: Wait, what that place, that pub he took us too?

Chandler: Uh, The Wheatsheaf.

Joey: Yeah-yeah-yeah, and they had that beer! That uh…

Monica: Bodington's!

All: Bodington's! Woohoo! (And they all high-five each other.)

Chandler: Ooh! Ahh, Pheebs, was gonna tell a story.

Phoebe: Yeah, so, he had a really funny hat—I don't want to talk about it.

Ross: (entering) Hey!

All: Hey!

Joey: Hey, Ross, Bodington's!

Ross: Yeah! (They high-five.)

Joey: That was good beer.

Ross: Ohh…

Joey: Y'know, I'd walk back to London for another frosty one of those bad boys.

Ross: Y'know, I think they have those at that British pub near the trade center.

Joey: Later! (Exits.)

Ross: Isn't Rachel supposed to be back by now?

Monica: Yeah, but her plane got delayed in Athens. But actually, (Checks watch) she should be here by now.

Ross: Oh, so-so you talked to her. Did she, did she sound mad?

Monica: No, but she likes me. You abandoned her on a plane to Greece.

Ross: Okay, I did not abandon Rachel! Okay? Emily showed up at the airport! I had to go after her! I mean, I-I did what I had to do! She's my wife! Rachel is my wife! Y'know—Emily! Emily, is my wife! Man, what is that?

Phoebe: So you still hadn't heard from Emily?

Ross: No, not since I lost her at the airport.

Chandler: I can't believe she can out run you man!

Ross: HEY, SHE'S FAST!! OKAY?!! (Chandler is so shocked at Ross's outburst that he drops his spoon and backs up) Oh! You-you think you can be beat me? Let's go! Outside!!

Rachel: (entering) Hi!

All: Hey! (They all go hug her, except for Ross.)

Ross: Rach, Rach, I am so sorry. I am so-so sorry.

Rachel: Oh Ross, come on! You just did what you had to do.

Ross: That's it? You're not mad? I mean, it must've been terrible.

Rachel: Terrible? Hell, I was in Greece! That was a nice hotel! Nice beach, met the nice people. Not to shabby for Rachel. (Goes and puts her luggage away.)

Ross: So, what? That's it?

Rachel: Well, yeah! We're cool. Totally cool.

Ross: Oh, thanks. Oh, you're the best. (They hug.)

Rachel: Oh no, you're the best.

Ross: (breaking the hug) Ohh, I gotta go to the flower store! (Runs to the door.) Check it out, no one will tell me where Emily is, so I'm gonna send 72 long-stem, red roses to Emily's parent's house, one for each day that I've known and loved her. That oughta get her talking to me again.

Chandler: Oh, Ross, when you make out card; be sure to make it out to, EM-I-LY.

(Ross bangs his fists together to tell Chandler off, like what was learned last season. Read about it here.)

Monica: Rach, that's great! It's so good that you had a good time in Greece!

Rachel: What?! I didn't have a good time in Greece! Ross abandoned me! Okay, I couldn't get a plane out, so I had to stay in their honeymoon suite with people coming up to me all the time going, "Oh, Mrs. Geller, why are you crying?" I mean, it was sooo humiliating. I felt like such an idiot! I mean, it's all my fault! And you know why, because I make very bad decisions.

Chandler: Oh that's not true.

Rachel: Yes it is! It is true! I went, I went after Ross in stupid London.

Phoebe: London is stupid! Stupid!

Rachel: Phoebe, you were right. I should've never gone to London, and from now on you make all of my decisions for me.

Phoebe: Oh… No, I did that for someone once and I'm not comfortable having that kind of power and control over someone's life.

Monica: I'll do it!

Rachel: That's fine. So Monica, you are now in control of my love life.

Chandler: Okay, I gotta go to work.

(He gets up and gives Monica a rather passionate kiss as Rachel and Phoebe look on in amazement. After the kiss ends, Chandler suddenly realizes what he just did, so he decides to do something rather rash.)

Chandler: And uh, Rachel, glad to have you back.

(He goes over and gives Rachel the same treatment he gave Monica, only Rachel is shocked.)

Chandler: Pheebs! (He goes over and kisses Phoebe, who is also stunned.) Always a pleasure. (And he struts out leaving the girls to stare at each other.)

[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Chandler and Joey are there looking at pictures from the trip to London.]

Monica: Oh, Rachel, sweetie, look, here's a really cute picture of Joey and you at the reception.

Rachel: Ohh, he's married! Ross is married. I can't—I still can't believe it. (Rachel grabs the picture from Monica)

Monica: Honey, sweetie, by the edges.

Rachel: I mean, y'know I'm just gonna have to accept it (She grabs the rest of the pictures)…

Monica: Ohh. (Monica covers her eyes in horror.)

Rachel: …I mean it's my fault.

Monica: Sweetie! Edges! Fingers! Smudgey! Pictures!

Rachel: Oh my God! (She licks the top picture and hands them back.)

Monica: Okay. That's okay. I-I know that you're very upset right now. I know, I know that wasn't about me.

Joey: (To Chandler) I bet it was about her a little.

Monica: If you would stop thinking about Ross for one minute you would notice that there are great guys everywhere! I mean, look! Look, Gunther! (Gunther turns to listen in.) I mean, he's nice, he's cute.

Rachel: Yeah, I guess Gunther is kinda…

Monica: (Interrupting) Oh, what about that guy over there? (She points at another guy and Gunther is deflated.) Remember? That is the guy you flirted with at the counter that time.

Rachel: Oh, I don't know. I don't know.

Monica: You're going to talk to him! Y'know what? We made a deal, I make your decisions and I say you're going to talk to him.

Rachel: All right, you're the boss. I guess I gotta do what you tell me.

Joey: Say that to him and you're golden. (She just glares at him.)

Phoebe: (entering) Hey!

Rachel: Hey!

Joey: Hey, Pheebs!

Monica: We got out pictures back from London. (Shows her one.) Here's all of us at the Tower of London.

Phoebe: (Grabs the pictures) Oh! Here we all are! Yeah, there's Ross and Joey and you and me. (She picks up a magic marker and draws herself in. Monica can't watch.)

Chandler: All right, y'know what, we've been talking about London too much haven't we?

Phoebe: No. I'm sorry. It's just 'cause I couldn't be there. 'Cause all I ever get to do now is pregnant stuff, it just bums me out.

All: Sorry.

(Rachel returns.)

Monica: What happened?

Rachel: Well, y'know, a little of this, a little of that. Got myself a date tomorrow night.

Monica: See, didn't I tell you?! You're getting over Ross already!

Rachel: Well…

(Gunther goes up to the guy and holds a sign that reads, "We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.")

Gunther: (To the guy) Get out!

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler enters to find Monica waiting patiently for him. He closes the door and they start kissing.]

Monica: What took you so long?

Chandler: I got caught up and work, but I'm quitting tomorrow.

Monica: Oh, good.

(They start kissing and turn around so that Chandler is facing the door. And Chandler sees Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey walk in and quickly ends the kiss with Monica.)

Chandler: So, thanks for having me over! Rach. (Goes over, grabs her, and kisses her.) Pheebs. (After a moment while he decides how to kiss her around her belly, grabs her and kisses her.)

Joey: (Jumping out of his way) See ya!! (To the girls.) What the hell was that?!

Monica: Probably some y'know, European good-bye thing he picked up in London.

Rachel: That's not European!

Phoebe: Well, it felt French.

(Joey is intrigued.)

[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Rachel is returning from her date with Dave.]

Rachel: Oh God, I really had a good time!

Dave: Yeah, me too. (They reach her door.) So, I guess this is it.

Rachel: Yeah. Umm, unless you wanna come inside?

Dave: Yeah!

Rachel: Okay. Oh, uh, wait a minute, y'know what? I uh, I can't decide this. Umm, okay, just hold on a second.

Dave: Okay, yeah!

(She enters the apartment, leaving Dave in the hallway, to find Ross sitting on the couch with a big box.)

Rachel: Umm, hi!

Ross: Hi.

Rachel: Is Monica around? I-I have to ask her something.

Ross: She's doing her laundry.

Rachel: What's that? (Points to the box.)

Ross: It came in the mail today, it's uh, 72 long-stemmed red roses, one for each day that I've known and loved Emily, cut up into mulch!

Rachel: Oh, honey that's awful.

Ross: Oh, it's not so bad. Monica's gonna make potpourri! I think I'm gonna go wander out in the rain for a while.

Rachel: But, it's not raining.

Ross: I can't catch a break!

Rachel: Y'know what Ross? You're not going anywhere. You're gonna sit right here. I'm gonna make you a cup of tea and we're gonna talk this thing whole out. All right? (She goes out to talk to Dave) Hey, Dave!

Dave: Yeah?

Rachel: Umm, listen, I'm gonna need to take a rain check, my roommate is just really sick. Okay? Bye! (She goes back in to talk to Ross.) Honey, listen, I know, I know things seem so bad right now.

Monica: (Poking her head in) Rach? Can I talk to for just a minute? I-I dropped some socks.

Rachel: Yeah. (She goes out to join her in the hall and starts looking for the dropped socks.)

Monica: What is the matter with you?! Do you want to fall into the trap? Do you want to fall into the trap?!

Rachel: Ohh! You did not drop any socks!

Monica: I just ran into Dave and he told me that you blew him off! I mean, you listen to me! Now, I'm calling the shots! I say you leave Ross alone and go get Dave! What the hell were you trying to do?

Rachel: Well, ultimately, I was trying y'know, I-I wanted…tell him y'know, that I'm still in love with him.

Monica: (Gasps) What?!! You cannot tell him that!!

Rachel: Why? Why not?! People love to hear that!

Monica: I make the decisions, and I say no.

Rachel: Well, y'know what, no, you do not make my decisions because y'know what, you're fired.

Monica: You can't fire me. I make your decisions and I say, "I'm not fired!" Ha!

Rachel: Well… (At a loss for words, she grabs some of Monica's laundry and throws it on the floor as a diversion to allow Rachel to run back inside and close the door. Monica chases her to find that Rachel had locked the door.)

Monica: Rachel!! Come on! Let me in!

Joey: (Poking his head out.) Havin' some trouble?

Monica: Rachel locked the door.

Joey: I'll kick that door in if you give me a little sugar.

Commercial Break

[Scene: The hallway, continued from earlier. Monica is still locked out.]

Monica: Rachel! Let me in! Rachel!

[Cut to inside the apartment, Ross decides to let Monica in and goes over and opens the door in mid-pound.]

Monica: Thank you. Rachel, can I talk to you outside for a sec?

Rachel: No.

Monica: I really need to talk to you.

Rachel: Well, then talk!

Monica: Okay, I will. Remember that thing that we just discussed that you wanted to do?

Rachel: Yes!

Ross: What thing?

Monica: Well, Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons. Which I think is a really stupid idea! It's dangerous, she's never gonna get what she wants, and who knows who she might (Turns to look at Ross) end up hurting.

Ross: Monica's right, swing dancing can be tricky. I'm gonna use the phone. I gotta cancel those five giant teddy bears I sent to Emily. (Looks at the rose mulch.) My God, think of the massacre.

Rachel: I'm gonna do it.

Monica: All right, Rachel, I know-I know you think I'm crazy, please, before you tell him you love him, just-just try to find one person who thinks this is a good idea. Because I bet you, you can't.

Rachel: But I…

Monica: Please!

Rachel: All right, fine.

(There's a loud bang on the door.)

Monica: Joey, I'm in!

Joey: (In tremendous pain) All right. Good deal.

[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters.]

All: Pheebs! Hey Pheebs!

Joey: Uh, okay, Pheebs?

Phoebe: Yeah?

Joey: Umm, y'know how the other day you were talking about how you didn't get to go to London and how you were kinda feeling left out?

Phoebe: Yeah?

Joey: All right, well, we felt really bad about that so we decided we should all take a little trip together!

Phoebe: Ohh, that's so nice! How great! Well, where? Where's the trip?!

Monica: Well, we thought we would all go to a picnic (Phoebe gasps), in Central Park!

Phoebe: (excited) Central…(not so excited) Park!

Joey: Yeah, all of us! All day!

Phoebe: That sucks! That's not a trip! I just came from the park! What are we gonna high five about at the stupid Central Park? "Well, it's right by my house, all right!"

Chandler: Well, I'm gonna go home and bask in the triumph of my Central Park idea. (Gets up to leave.)

Rachel: (stopping him) Hey-whoa-whoa-whoa!! Ho-ho-hold on a sec there, Mr. Kissey! Y'know, I've been meaning to talk to you about this whole, little, new European thing you got going on, and I just need to tell you that it makes me very uncomfortable and I just—y'know—stop it!

Chandler: I was just trying to bring a little culture to the group.

Phoebe: That's fine, just don't bring it in my mouth.

Monica: Makes me wanna puke! (Chandler looks at her, quizzically.)

[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, and Joey are there as Ross enters with Phoebe.]

Ross: Hey everybody, Pheebs is here!

Joey: Phoebe!

Chandler: Hey, Pheebs!

Rachel: Phoebe, woo!

Phoebe: Okay, woo! Hi.

Chandler: Okay, Pheebs, we decided the picnic idea was a little… Y'know, it didn't have any… It-it, well it blew. So, we thought, that this afternoon that we would all go away for the whole weekend to, Atlantic City!

Phoebe: Ooh, Atlantic City! Oh, that's a great plan! Who's plan was that?

Joey: Mine!

Ross: Wait! It was my plan.

Joey: Nooo, I said we needed a new plan.

Ross: And, I came up with Atlantic City.

Joey: Which, is the new plan!

Monica: Okay, well, why don't we all meet upstairs in an hour?

Phoebe: Okay! Ooh-ahh, I'm gonna go pack. I'm gonna go pack my ass off!

(They all go pack except for Ross.)

Monica: Come on Rach, let's go.

Rachel: Yeah, y'know what? I'm-I'm gonna meet you upstairs in a minute.

Monica: No! Rachel, you didn't find anyone so you can't tell him.

Rachel: Well, y'know what, that doesn't matter.

Monica: Okay, Rachel, do you have any idea how painful it is to tell someone that you love them and not have them say it back?

Rachel: Yeah, I-I don't care.

Monica: Okay. I-I can't watch. (Leaves as sits down to read the paper.)

Rachel: What 'cha readin'?

Ross: The paper.

Rachel: Yeah, what's it about?

Ross: Events from around the globe.

Rachel: Okay. Uhh, Ross, y'know what, there's something that I-that I have to talk to you about and everybody's saying that I shouldn't tell you, but I think they're wrong. I mean, and you know how people can be wrong.

Ross: Sure. Once, at work I-I thought carbon dating was fossilized…

Rachel: Okay, Ross, I'm really trying to tell you something here.

Ross: Yeah.

Rachel: Okay.

Ross: Go ahead.

Rachel: Umm, okay, I think I'm-I'm just gonna-just gonna say it. Just gonna say it. Uhh, (pause) I'm still in love with you Ross.

(Ross is stunned.)

Ross: Wow. Umm… Huh… I'm-I'm not sure what to do with that right now.

(Rachel starts laughing hysterically.)

Ross: What? What? Was that a joke? 'Cause it's mean.

Rachel: (Laughing) I'm so dead serious. I'm totally serious.

Ross: Why are you laughing?

Rachel: Because (laughs), because, I just heard it. I heard it, and it's ridiculous! I mean, you're married. You're-you're married and it's just ridiculous, and it's like, it's like when said it, I sort of like, I floated up out of my body, y'know? And, and-and then I heard myself say it and then the floating Rachel (laughs) was like, "You are such an idiot!"

Ross: Well, well I am married. Even though I haven't spoken to my wife since the wedding.

Rachel: (laughs) I'm sorry, that's not funny.

Ross: Actually, it kinda is. My wife won't return my calls. I don't know where my wife is. (Laughs) "Hey Ross, where's the Mrs.?" Don't know!

Rachel: Oh God, ohh, okay, y'know what, do you think ah, do you think that you just forget that I told you this?

Ross: Well, I kinda half to. I mean, because the thing is…

Rachel: The thing is y'know, that you're married to Emily.

Ross: That is what the thing is.

Rachel: Ross, things aren't gonna be weird between us, right? I mean was that just the stupidest thing, me telling you that?

Ross: No. No. No, I'm-I'm glad you did. Look, if nothing else, it's-it's always great when someone tells you they love you.

Rachel: That's what I said! Thank you for being so nice. (They hug.)

Ross: No thank you for… Thank you.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is about ready to leave for Atlantic City.]

Ross: Okay, let's go!

Chandler: Atlantic City!

Phoebe: Atlantic City, baby! Let's roll some bones! Hey Joey, high-five for rolling bones!

(They high-five and howl, but Phoebe suddenly stops and the guys gasp and retreat in shock.)

Joey: Uh, Pheebs, you're leaking?

Monica: Oh my God! You're water broke!

The Guys: Ohh!

Phoebe: All right. Well, don't worry, I call shotgun! (She starts out the door.)

All: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Wait-wait!

Chandler: Pheebs! We have to take you to the hospital now!

Ross: Pheebs, Pheebs, the babies are coming now.

Rachel: High-five, the babies are coming! (They all high-five.)

Phoebe: Wait, wait, remember when my water broke? (They all high-five again.)

Ending Credits

[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, they are taking Phoebe to the hospital but Chandler and Monica hold back.]

Monica: I can't believe Phoebe's gonna have her babies!

Chandler: I know, it's beautiful. Amazing.

(They both kiss.)

Chandler: Y'know what else I can't believe? I had to kiss Phoebe and Rachel every time I left a room, I mean it's too bad they didn't see us having sex.

Monica: Do you know anything about women?

Chandler: No.

Monica: That's all right.

Chandler: Okay. (They kiss again.)

End

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