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老友记第五季The One With The Ball

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再要点咖啡吗?小玩偶?够了 谢谢我能不能玩玩这个小玩偶?不,甜甜嘴那次的教训还不够吗~~- 我去倒点茶- 好的你说呢?小南瓜不看来你们两人相处很好嘛我知道 其实我想叫菲比和我同居哦 天啊你怎么想?我想会不错的什么时候去问她?今晚,但保密好吗?我发誓 我保证噢 我很兴奋呢!不要给她送花 知道了吗?因为她会在花死掉时哭着给它们办葬礼- 放工后见 亲爱的- 好的 再见!我们去看什么电影好啊?Gary想让你和他同居!!什么?! 真的吗?!他刚才在吧台那边告诉我的他叫我保密 但我忍不住!难以置信!因为 那太快了! 太快了!放松点!在说菲比! 不是你!噢!很好啊菲比 上啊不 太快了 不是吗?噢!不 我很喜欢他但我还没有准备那 你想怎么办?不知道 我知道了我会叫你去跟他说我?!为什么是我?因为你太害怕承诺了!你跟他说让他象你一样害怕!让他变成真正的男人!我试试看 但我不保证因为我现在不象以前那么害怕承诺了你真好!我还是怕的 我会给你办好的放心吧嘿 罗斯 斯达顿岛是真的是岛吗?哦呵不然为什么人人都叫它斯达顿岛哦 我还以为它象长岛(地方名)一样长岛也是岛嘿 几点了?2:17.噢!我们投球不落地 几乎一小时了?真的吗?!是啊 我半小时前就意识到这点但我不想说出来因为我不想倒楣噢!我们天生干这行的!嘿!我们完全忘记了午饭!平生头一回忘记吃饭你看 我裤子都变松了!- 嘿 你们- 嘿!- 莫尼卡在吗?- 不.我刚买了点东西不知道她喜欢不喜欢我知道这有点傻 但这是我自小就很想要的你买了Shawn Cassidy!想得美!Okay, 准备好了吗?- 是!- 好的!看!- 那是什么?!- 那是什么鬼东西啊?!!这是猫啊!那不是猫!是!为什么它的皮是翻过来的?!不好意思!但它真的是一只良种史芬克斯猫!多少钱?有点奢侈, 但我很会讲价是吗?多少?1000块(美金啊!!!)就一只猫??!!!!那不是猫来的!好啦 听着 球童!我祖母在我小时侯养过一只它最可爱了!它会坐在我旁边整天姑噜姑噜叫当我拖着鞋带走它会追着鞋跑!野猫也会这么做这都不是猫!你们啊 我就是喜欢它! Okay?我不管你们怎么想!我现在就去给Whiskerson女士搞个小盒子.不然怎么叫他啊? 毛绒绒?!嘿 要吃点东西吗?你想知道我们能这样投下去到什么时候吗?- 恩 投球吧- 是吗?嘿 罗斯连续两小时投球算是厉害吗?!恩 是啊!- 就这么办!- Okay!- 啊 哦!- 干吗?我要小便但瑞秋在洗手间里!伙计 我以为我们非得停下呢!是啊!不要换手 okay?女士们!在干吗?嘿 钱德 你来有事?Gary, 我要举报是吗?你和我不多见面就是犯罪有什么事?我听说你想要和菲比同居我想我们要好好聊聊男人和男...我之间的对话- 当然可以啊恩 你傻了吗?还是疯了?如果你要和她住你俩就会...住在一起!是 我考虑过我只知道我会很快乐- 你意思是恐怖- 不 我意思是 快乐恐怖的快乐?钱德 你怎么啦?我正试着让你了解状况!你知道你一旦和她住一起她就会一直在那里啦你回家 她在你上床睡觉 她在你一觉醒来喔 没错 她还在!我知道!我都等不及了!你父母很幸福还是怎么的?听着钱德 我觉得我很幸运我找到真爱只想她多陪在我身旁你知道吗?你这样说起来好象不怎么恐怖呢.那你知道我要说什么吗?是的 我想你应该和她同居你应该马上和她同居可能我也和莫尼卡试试!对你来说就太快了是 你说的没错当他们发现了中世代的乳齿象的残余物的时候他们在它的口中发现古生代的两栖动物的残余物!它们从哪里来的?!这个应该是个安静的游戏- 嘿 伙计!- 嗨!乔伊 昨晚我忘了手表在你桌上了就在这 哪去了?我不知道快点啊 我快迟到了!你怎么知道? 你没有手表啊伙计 你们能停下一会帮我找一下手表吗?噢 不知道呢.(想想)是了,我不能~什么?!莫尼卡 什么都好不要扔下球!是啊 我们已经丢了ˇ2小时 27分钟真的?!我-我想今天我不能上班了我有点不舒服啊是!!喔,我以为我会好一点但是还是不行- 嘿,瑞秋- 嘿。看!已经投了三个小时了!噢 哇!恭喜这是在浪费时间呢- 瑞秋?- 是的?你浑身抓痕,发生什么事啦?是我的猫干的。- 什么?!- 哦是了,我养了只猫.我不喜欢猫!- 噢,不用担心,那不是猫。- 是的。你要知道这只猫很象我外婆的猫。它不可爱,它不有趣。甚至我在地上拖东西的时候它居然突然跳起抓我我发誓,我知道这听起来很荒谬但每次它叫的时候我都听到它说,"瑞秋!"不比花一千块买一只猫荒谬什么,你还欠我300,却花1000块去买猫?!!好,我会让你和它玩的。嗨!Hmm, 你和 Gary 说过吗 有关那事?我去了,而我认为你应该答应他。什么?!他是一个不错的家伙。而且他很爱你,你非常幸运呢。你这废人!劝人害怕承诺是你唯一能做的事,唯一的!而你居然都搞砸了! 上帝!对不起。如果你开口,我会和他搬到一块的。噢!! 上帝!噢! 滚出这里, 毫无价值的东西。- 嘿,钱德- 嘿 Gar!嗨 甜心。嗨,我能和你说些话吗?是的! 好。你今天看起来非常漂亮。谢谢! 好的。我是想说。我们的关系应该深入发展。因为不进则退不会的,不如果不进,也可能保持原样。而且保持原样很好。 看着。- 菲比?>- 是的?我想要你和我一块住。那很甜蜜。但是你不认为这有点儿快吗?我们还不了解对方噢.噢-噢-好啦!我知道了。.我只是想准备充分然后再更进一步。哦呵.我真不想弄糟我们现有的关系。我担心会犯错所以 我想说,好的.- 真的?!- 哦-呵!我太高兴了。莫尼卡! 不要丢的这么重。我们是在同一队上的!四个小时?你们这样丢球达四小时之久?没错,宝贝。.好的,我加入。不-不!不要!不!什么?他是个漏球者!哦,是啊,没错!我不是漏球者!它只是一种三人游戏, 知道吗?这只是投接球!好啦.噢!哦!太难了。.你看,它不是猫来的!上帝!我放弃了,我玩不来!把它烤熟它也不会变乖对吧?为什么不把它还回店子里?我试过了! 他们不肯把她收回.也许因为这个小奴才不信基督教?瑞秋 他们怎么会不收回啊?好吧,他们说会但是他们只还给我商店代用券那我能怎么办?买一千只普通猫吗?要么你能把它留在我们的房间直到你发现该拿它干什么不,莫,这不是重点。我没了1000块钱,而且而且还是被这只看起来像一只手一样的愚蠢猫欺骗!哦我的上帝,这猫让我流眼泪了!不要丢到我这里来啊!我看不到东西了!!哦上帝! 好了。没事了。差点~是,你几乎对一些东西过敏了。嘿!我们有好消息!我们要一起住! 很棒吧! Yay!恭喜! 恭喜!- 我知道,我很兴奋!- 我也是!你不能比我兴奋!不行!我要是最兴奋的一个!好啦!我过会在车站等你。好的,过会见!不要忘记搬家的事!你要和他一起住。发生什么事了吗?我不能拒绝他,他觉得很伤心。或者是对的。我真的很喜欢他又或者偶尔做那种事,而且,想想我能省下多少邮票钱。为什么,你经常写信给他吗?不,只是我听说同居可以省掉一半邮票钱,不是吗?是!对啊!是啊!是!哦,对不起,你的手套真的吓到我了。嘿,甜心!好,布鲁克林高地那边有合适的公寓吗?- 不,没有找到- 哦,真的吗?一旦找到我们就马上搬进去没有游泳池就不搬,我喜欢游泳池。- 菲比,能和你谈谈吗?- 好的!坐 。你还好吧?是的,我们要搬到一块住啊。你在报纸上找过布鲁克林高地出租的公寓了,是吗?你-你看过报纸?是啊,恩,没有找到。- 我能喝点水吗?- 我问完再喝- 你看过今天的邮报?- 恩,看过今天的.这里有今天的邮报。而这些是我找到的布鲁克林,二间卧室。布鲁克林,一间卧室。布鲁克林,布鲁克林,布鲁克林!这些都出租的吗?我还以为他们仅是说说而已!让我告诉你我怎么想吧。不-不-不,不要看着桌子看着我!好,某人要求了某人和他一起住;而某人说,"好的"但是现在她举棋不定 因为对某人来说事情发展的太快。那人可能是你吗?是的! 我是某人!你想我这样说吗?我还是有疑虑!对不起!- 菲比ˇ- 什么?菲比,你这样想没关系。是太快了。我们互相不了解而我满怀憧憬期待着前所未有的幸福——家门口有一个写着我俩名字的邮箱太甜蜜了。甜心,你觉得太快的话,没关系的。没关系!我们可以不一块住我只想你快乐。和你住、我就快乐。菲比,你没必要这样说。不,我真的想和你同住!我要和你一块住!真的吗?绝对是!是的!我们同居吧!噢,太好了!等等,玻璃后面的人!你在看谁啊!我经常想在审讯室这样做,从未试过呢!爱猫甩卖!品质一流!噢 天啊!你的婴儿怎么啦!?它不是婴儿! 它是一只猫!恶心!它是爬着走的!噢不!它很乖很听话,看!你要吗?不,我讨厌猫。那你还在这里干吗?走啊!好啦!继续走路吧!哇噢!是只不寻常的猫呢!是啊!谢谢!你要买它吗?可能吧。我正想要一只猫。我现在正要去宠物店。但ˇ Okay,何不在这里买呢?噢,一口价,要2000块。什么?!好啦,1000块。你还是留着自己养吧!好,没关系,但是你投资后得到的不仅仅只是一只猫。好的,我只是想要一只猫而已。好啦显然你很会讲价,那我就不和你转弯抹角了。$800成交,我也不叫警察了这么便宜卖给你简直像被你洗劫!带走猫,留下钱。然后跑!跑啊!可恶!猫啊,你就不能稍微笑一下吗?!有人听到吗?我饿得要死了!来吧!加油!我们已经坚持十个小时了!现在是关键!你什么时候当上队长了?我们发明这个游戏的!拜托!我让这个游戏富有意义。让它变得不再有趣?我还是很饿啊!好, 在我那边有一些披萨,我们能用一只手吃,对吧?要跟我来吗?- 我去!- 好的,走吧!!走吧,莫尼卡队!好啦,我们一会再想队名吧.瑞秋!你的猫在我的碗里干什么?那不是猫!我在给鸡肉解冻.噢,我,呃卖掉了Whiskerson女士.噢,感谢上帝!你收回多少钱?1500块。哇,你赚到啦!我来拿红色-天鹅绒枕头。哦,是啊,给你。谢谢 瑞秋。别忘了,你可以随时来看它。很好,我会记得的。嘿!这是什么?一种蛇吗?我真的很喜欢一醒来看到你。我也是。噢!多么好的早晨啊。我可以留在这里一整天。那很好啊!- 我们可以在床上吃早餐- 等等,噢!噢 不好啦!来吧 莫尼卡!打起精神来!打起精神来!太好了,你们都起床了。菲比!现在是早上6点!你不是在Gary那里吗?噢 是了,我们完了.什么?!别这样!Gary是个好人!无论什么问题都可以解决的!- 他打死一只鸟啊!- 噢,那就完了!太可怕了!我很替你难过!菲比,你还好吧?没事,没事,我没事的。菲比接球.我不想玩.不算我们假装它不曾发生! 好?没有人知道!菲比她不一个正式的球手!我觉得,只有正式的球手能放下球!好啦!好啦!我饿得要死!菲比,甜心,能给我拿一些早餐吗?当然!好!好!我们比赛吧!谁先到谁赢!哈哈!你们要在这里吃早餐吗?好啊!不用走了我们很棒吧!哈?你能相信我们扔了多久的球吗?是的,想不到我们能坚持这么久。我知道。我的手痛的要命。不,我意思是和那个漏接王一组还可以坚持那么久~~为什么我会得到漏接王的名号?我才不是漏接王呢罗斯!

The One With The Ball

[Scene: Central Perk, Gary, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there.]

Gary: (To Phoebe) Would you like some more coffee, baby-doll?

Phoebe: I'm fine, thanks.

Chandler: (To Monica) Yeah, see, I can't pull of baby-doll can I?

Monica: No. I think we learned that from the sugarlips incident. I'm gonna get some tea.

Chandler: Okay.

(Monica leaves and Chandler moves to talk to Phoebe.)

Chandler: Hiya doin' pumpkin?

Phoebe: Nope. (Chandler nods in agreement.)

[Cut to Gary and Monica at the counter.]

Monica: So it looks like it's going really well for you two, huh?

Gary: I know, really well. In fact, I'm gonna ask Phoebe to move in with me.

Monica: (shocked) Oh my God!

Gary: What do you, what do you think?

Monica: I think that is so great! When are you gonna ask her?

Gary: Tonight, but don't say anything. Okay?

Monica: I swear, I promise. I promise. Oh my God, I'm so excited! {And I just can't hide it! I'm about to lose control and I think I like it! Sorry, just couldn't resist it.} All right, listen let me tell you, do not get her flowers. Okay? Because y'know, she cries when they die, and there's the whole funeral…

Gary: (To Phoebe) I'll see you after work sweetie. (Kisses her.)

Phoebe: Okay. Bye!

(Gary exits and Monica rejoins them.)

Phoebe: So, what movie should we see?

Monica: (sitting down) Gary's gonna ask you to move in with him!!

Phoebe: What?! Really?!

Monica: He just told me at the counter. He made me promise not to tell, but I couldn't hold it in any longer!

Phoebe: I can't believe this!

Chandler: (terrified) Right, because it's fast. Because, it's so fast. It's fast!

Monica: Relax! It's Phoebe! Not you!

Chandler: Oh! Good for you Pheebs, way to go! (Breathes a sigh of relief)

Phoebe: No, but it is fast. Isn't it?

Monica: Ohhhh!

Phoebe: No, I like him a lot but I don't think I'm ready for this!

Chandler: So, what are you gonna do?

Phoebe: I don't know. I'll just handle it—I'll ask you to talk to him!

Chandler: Me?! Why me?

Phoebe: Because you are so afraid of commitment! You talk to him, make him scared like you! Make him a…man!

Chandler: I'll try, but I'm not sure what good it would do, y'know? Because I'm a lot less afraid of commitment than I used to be.

Monica: That is so sweet! (She kisses him and turns to add some sugar to her tea.)

Chandler: (To Phoebe, behind Monica's back) Still terrified, I'll take care of it. No problem. (When Monica turns back he smiles and kisses her, when she turns away he nods that he'll do it to Phoebe.)

Opening Credits

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are playing catch with a little foam globe.]

Joey: Hey Ross, is uh, is Staten Island really an island?

Ross: Uh-huh, that's why they call it Staten Island.

Joey: Ohhh. I thought it was like Long Island.

Ross: (he catches the ball and pauses, staring at Joey in disbelief) Also an island.

(The game resumes.)

Joey: Hey, what time is it?

Ross: (looks at his watch) 2:17.

Joey: Wow! You realize that we've been throwing this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour?

Ross: Are you serious?!

Joey: Yeah. I realized it about a half-hour ago but I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want to jinx it.

Ross: Wow! We are pretty good at this! Hey! We totally forgot about lunch!

Joey: Oh, I-I, I think that's the first time I ever missed a meal! (Checks his pants.) Yeah, my pants are a little loose!

Rachel: (entering) Hey, you guys…

Joey: Hey!

Rachel: Is Monica here?

Joey and Ross: No.

Rachel: All right listen umm, I just bought something I'm not sure she's gonna like it, and it's gonna seem a little crazy, but this is something that I wanted since I was a little girl.

Ross: You bought Shawn Cassidy!

Rachel: Noo! I wish! Okay, you ready?

Joey and Ross: Yeah!

Rachel: Okay! (She goes and gets her surprise and when she returns with it, Ross stares in shock.) Check it out!

(Joey turns and looks at quite possibly one of the ugliest pets that you can possibly buy on the planet. Rachel has bought herself a hairless cat. Yep, a hairless cat! Joey and Ross start to get sick.)

Ross: What-what is it?!

Joey: What the hell is that?!!

Rachel: It's a, it's a cat!

Joey: That, is not a cat! {I have to agree with Joey on this one.}

Rachel: Yes it is!

Ross: Why is it inside out?!

Rachel: Excuse me! But this is a purebred, show-quality Sphinx cat!

Ross: How much did you pay for that?

Rachel: Well, it was a little extravagant, but I a pretty good deal.

Ross: Yeah? How much?

Rachel: A thousand bucks.

Ross: ON A CAT??!!!!

Joey: It's not a cat!

Rachel: All right listen ball boys! My grandmother had one of these when I was a little girl and it was the sweetest thing! I mean it was so cute, it would sit in my lap and purr all day long, and I would drag a shoestring on the ground and he would chase it!

Ross: Free cats do that too, y'know. {Which reminds me, if I might get a little political here, support your local animal shelter. Pet shops are not the place to buy dogs and cats from, you get a much better deal from the shelter, plus they probably won't die on you in a week and a half. If you want a leash, go to the pet shop. If you want the dog for that leash, go to the shelter and save it's life. Now back to regularly scheduled programming.}

Joey: It's not a cat!

Rachel: Ugh! Look you guys, I'm really excited about this! Okay? I don't care what you think! I'm gonna go set up a little litter box for Mrs. Whiskerson. (They both glare at her.) Well, what am I gonna call her? Fluffy?!

(Rachel goes into the bathroom as the guys continue throwing the ball.)

Ross: (To Joey) Hey, you wanna get something to eat or uh, do you wanna see how long we can throw this ball back and forth? Huh?

Joey: Uhh, the ball thing.

Ross: Yeah?

Joey: Hey Ross, wouldn't it be great if we could go two straight hours without dropping it?!

Ross: Uhh, yeah it would! Let's do it!

Joey: Okay!

(They throw the ball back and forth once.)

Joey: (catches the ball) Uh-oh.

Ross: What?

Joey: I have to pee. And Rachel's in the bathroom!

[Cut to Chandler and Joey's, Ross is seen throwing the ball into the bathroom, presumably where Joey is currently using the facilities.]

Joey: Man, I didn't think we were gonna make it!

Ross: I know! (Looks at the ball in his hands.) Don't switch hands, okay?

[Scene: the 5th Precinct, Gary's precinct, Chandler has come to talk to him about commitment. And as he's walking through the door he notices a couple of "Ladies of the night" sitting there. (If you know what I mean.)]

Chandler: Hey ladies! What are you in here for? (Laughs at his joke.)

Gary: Hey Chandler, what are you doing here?

Chandler: Gary, I'm here to report a crime.

Gary: Yeah?

Chandler: It is a crime that you and I don't spend more time together.

Gary: (laughs, then suddenly serious) What's up?

Chandler: Well, I heard that you thinking about asking Phoebe to move in with you and I thought maybe, we should have a talk. Man to uh, me.

Gary: Sure. Okay.

Chandler: Uh, are you crazy? Are you insane? If you live with Phoebe, you two are gonna be y'know, live-living together!

Gary: Yeah, I-I considered that. I just know it would make me happy.

Chandler: You mean scared.

Gary: No, I mean happy.

Chandler: Scared? Happy?

Gary: Chandler, what-what are you doing?

Chandler: I am trying to open your eyes, my man! Don't you see, if you lived with Phoebe she's always gonna be there. You're gonna get home, she's there. You go to bed, she's there. You wake up and oh yes, she's there!

Gary: I know! I can't wait!

Chandler: Were you're parents happy, or something?

Gary: Listen Chandler, the way I see it is that I was lucky enough to find someone that I really love. I just—I wanna be around her as much as I can.

Chandler: Wow, y'know when you say it, it doesn't sound so scary.

Gary: So you know what I'm talking about, right?

Chandler: Yeah, I think I do! Y'know what? You move in with her! You move in with her right now! Maybe I should in with Monica!

Gary: No, it's too soon for you guys.

Chandler: (pause) Yeah, you're right about that.

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are still playing catch.]

Ross: …now when they found the remains of the Mesozoic Mastodon they discovered what appeared to be the remains of a Paleozoic Amphibian in its jaws! How did it get there?!

{Y'know, sometimes I think the script writers through in a line like that to try to trip me up. But it won't work. I'll always have the last laugh! Okay, so maybe I'm a little deluded, it's probably just my spellchecker. But, I must admit I did get Mesozoic and Paleozoic on the first attempt. Yay me! Anyhoo…}

Joey: Maybe this should be more of a quiet game.

{Oh, all right! Geez, I can't have any fun!}

Monica: (entering) Hey guys!

Joey: Hi!

Monica: Joey, I left my watch on the counter last night. (Goes to the counter) It was right here, where is it?

Joey: I don't know.

Monica: All right, come on, I'm-I'm late for work!

Ross: How do you know? You don't have a watch.

Monica: Guys, could you please just stop throwing the ball for one minute and just help me find it!

Joey: Oh, I don't know…. Yeah, can't do it.

(He throws it back to Ross, but it's intercepted by Monica and the guys both scream in horror.)

Monica: What?!

Ross: Monica, whatever you do, do not drop that ball!

Joey: Yeah, we haven't dropped it in… (Looks to Ross.)

Ross: 2 hours, 27 minutes.

Monica: Really?!

[Time lapse, Monica has joined in and is calling to get out of work.]

Monica: (on phone, faking she's sick) I-I'm not gonna be able to make it into work today, I don't feel very good. (Joey makes a high throw and Monica has to catch it way over her head.) (Not sounding sick) Yes!! (Realizes what she just did.) (Sounding sick again) Wow! Uh, for a second there I thought I was really better, but I'm not. (Hangs up and keeps throwing the ball.)

(Rachel enters.)

Ross: Hey Rach!

Rachel: Hey.

Ross: Check it out! Almost 3 hours without droppin' it!

Rachel: Oh, wow! Congratulations, that's quite a waste of time.

Monica: Rach?

Rachel: Yeah?

Monica: You have scratches all over you, what happened? (Rachel's arms are covered with scratches.)

Rachel: Well, it's my cat.

Monica: (shocked) What?!

Rachel: Oh yeah, I got a cat.

Monica: I don't want a cat!

Joey: Oh, don't worry, it's not a cat.

Ross: Yeah.

Rachel: You guys this cat is nothing like my grandmother's cat. I mean, it's not sweet, it's not cute, I even dragged that little string on the ground, and it just flipped out and scratched the hell out of me. And I swear, I know this sounds crazy, but every time this cat hisses at me I know it's saying, "Rachel!"

Ross: Doesn't sound as crazy as paying a thousand dollars for a cat.

Monica: (To Rachel) What?! You paid a thousand dollars for a cat when you owe me 300!!

Rachel: Well, I was gonna let you play with it.

[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is drinking coffee as Chandler enters.]

Chandler: Hi!

Phoebe: Hmm, did you talk to Gary about the moving in thing?

Chandler: Yes I did, and I think you should do it.

Phoebe: What?!

Chandler: He's a great guy, y'know? And he loves you a lot, you are a very lucky lady.

Phoebe: You are useless! Freaking out about commitment is the one thing you can do! The one thing! And you can't even do that right! God!

Chandler: I’m sorry. (Pause) If you ask me, I'd move in with him.

Phoebe: Ohh!! God! (Gary enters and she sees him) Ooh! (To Chandler) Get out of here, good for nothing.

Gary: Hey Chandler.

Chandler: Hey Gar!

Gary: (To Phoebe) Hi sweetie. (Kisses her.) Hi, can I talk to you for a second?

Phoebe: Yeah! Okay. (They move to the couch.)

Gary: You look very pretty today.

Phoebe: Thanks! Okay. (They sit down.)

Gary: Here's the thing.

Phoebe: Yeah?

Gary: Y'know I really want to move this relationship forward.

Phoebe: Uh-hmm.

Gary: Because if you're not moving forward, y'know you're just moving backwards.

Phoebe: No that's not true. If you're not moving forward, you're just staying still. And staying still is good. Watch this. (She stays still for a brief second.)

Gary: Phoebe?

Phoebe: Yeah?

Gary: I want you to move in with me.

Phoebe: That is so sweet. But don't you think it's a little too soon? I mean there's so much we don't know about each other.

Gary: (disappointed) Oh. Oh-oh-okay, I get it.

Phoebe: I just—I don't want us to jump into something we're not ready for.

Gary: (disappointed more) Uh-huh.

Phoebe: I really don't want to mess up what we have. I'm just—I'm worried it's gonna be a big mistake.

Gary: (on the verge of tears) Yeah.

Phoebe: Which is why my answer is yes!

Gary: (suddenly happy) Really?!

Phoebe: Uh-huh! (They hug.) I'm so…happy. (She's not happy.)

Commercial Break

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, and Monica are still playing catch, with Chandler looking on. Joey throws the ball to Monica who catches it and whips it at Ross.]

Ross: (catching the ball) Monica! Stop throwing it so hard! We're on the same team!

Chandler: Four hours? You guys have been doing this for four hours?

Joey: That's right baby.

Chandler: All right, let me in. (He jumps off of the counter to join in the game.)

Monica: (jumping in front of him) No-no! Don't do it! Don't!

Chandler: What?

Monica: He's a dropper!

Joey: Oh yeah, that's right!

Chandler: I'm not a dropper!

Ross: It's really a uh-uh three person game, y'know?

Chandler: It's throwing and catching!

Ross: All right. (He gently tosses the ball to Chandler who catches it.)

Chandler: Oh! Oh! That's so hard. (Starts to juggle the ball, but loses control and almost drops it and hands it to Monica.)

(Rachel enters with the "cat" and the chick and the duck start to get riled up.)

Joey: Whoa-whoa you guys, it's not a cat!

Monica: Oh my—Oh good God!

Rachel: (she's wearing an oven mitt to protect her hand) I give up you guys, I don't know what I'm going to do with this thing!

Ross: Baking it didn't help, huh?

Monica: So, why don't you just take it back to where you got it?

Rachel: I tried! They won't take her back.

Chandler: Maybe that's because she's a minion of the anti-Christ.

Monica: Rach, why won't they take it back?

Rachel: Well, they said would but they would only give me store credit. I mean, what am I going to do, get a thousand regular cats?

Monica: Look, if you want you can keep it at our place until you find out what to do with it.

Rachel: No Mon that's not the point. I'm out a thousand dollars, I'm all scratched up, and I'm stuck with this stupid cat that looks like a hand! (Storms out.)

(Monica sneezes.)

Monica: Oh my God, the cat's made my eyes water! Don't-don't throw it to me! My vision's been compromised!! (Quickly grabs a tissue to wipe her eyes.) Oh God! Okay. Okay. It's okay. Man, that was close.

Chandler: Yeah, you almost overreacted to something.

Phoebe and Gary: (entering) Hey!

All: Hey!

Gary: We have great news!

Phoebe: We're moving in together! Isn't it great! Yay!

All: Congratulations! Congrats!

Phoebe: I know, I'm so excited!

Gary: So am I!

Phoebe: Well, you're not more excited than I am! No way! I'm the most excited!

Gary: Okay, I'll see you at the station later.

Phoebe: Okay, yeah, I'll see you later! Don't forget about the moving in!

Gary: All right.

(Phoebe closes the door behind him.)

Monica: So you're moving in with him. What happened?

Phoebe: I couldn't tell him no. He got so sad. Maybe it'll be all right. I do really like him a lot and probably do it eventually anyway and plus, think of all the money I'll save on stamps.

Monica: Why, do you write him a lot?

Phoebe: No, I just heard when people live together, they split the cost of stamps. Don't they?

All: Yeah! That's right. Yeah-yeah! Yeah!

(Rachel enters with the cat, wearing the oven mitt, and startles Phoebe.)

Phoebe: Oh, I'm sorry, the oven mitts really freaked me out.

[Scene: Gary's precinct, Phoebe is entering.]

Gary: Hey, honey! Okay, so did you find any apartments? Anything in Brooklyn Heights?

Phoebe: No, nothing.

Gary: Oh really?

Phoebe: Yeah.

Gary: Nothing at all?

Phoebe: No, as soon as something opens up we'll move right in. Unless it doesn't have a pool, I need a pool. (Turns away from him.)

Gary: Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?

Phoebe: Uh-huh!

(He takes her into one of those typical interrogation rooms you see on TV and in the movies. Which is really appropriate here, since this is a TV show. What are the odds of that?)

Gary: Take a seat. You okay? You feeling all right? (Closes the door and takes off his coat.)

Phoebe: (sits down) Yeah, I feel great. 'Cause we're moving in together.

Gary: So you uh, you checked the paper for listings in Brooklyn Heights, right? You-you checked the Post?

Phoebe: Yeah, uh-huh, there was nothing. (Pause) Can I get some water?

Gary: In a minute. You-you checked today's Post?

Phoebe: Umm, yeah! Today's.

Gary: 'Cause uh, this is today's Post (produces one from the other chair) and uh, these are the listings I found. (Points) Brooklyn Heights, two bedroom. (Points) Brooklyn Heights, one bedroom. (Points) Brooklyn Heights, (points) Brooklyn Heights, (points) Brooklyn Heights!

Phoebe: (looks at the paper) Are these for rent! I thought people were just bragging!

Gary: Let me tell you what I think might be going on. (Phoebe looks down in shame.) No-no-no, don't look at the table. Look at me. (Points to his eyes and she does so) Okay, I think somebody asked someone to move in with them. And I think someone said, "Yes" but now she's having doubts because things are moving to fast for someone. Does that sound at all possible to you?

Phoebe: Yes. Yes! Fine! I am someone! You want me to say it? I have doubts! (Pause) I'm sorry! (Puts her head down.)

Gary: Phoebe…

Phoebe: Yeah?

Gary: Phoebe, it's okay that you feel this way. I mean it is soon. And there's a lot of things we don't know about each other, and I just figure that everything I really like. And the things I don't know, I get to learn about at someplace with both our names on the mailbox.

Phoebe: That's so sweet.

Gary: Sweethart, but none of that matters if it's too soon for you. It's fine! We don't have to move in together. I just—I want you to be happy

Phoebe: Living with you would make me happy.

Gary: Phoebe, you don't have to say that.

Phoebe: No, I really wanna live with you! I wanna move in with you!

Gary: Are you sure?

Phoebe: Yes. Definitely! Yes! Let's live in an apartment that we both live in! (Hugs him.)

Gary: Oh that's great!

Phoebe: Oh wait, one sec. One sec. (Goes to the mirror) Hey you! Behind the glass! Who are you looking at! I've always wanted to say that when I was in one of these rooms, (sees the look on his face) which was never!

[Scene: The street outside Central Perk, Rachel is trying to sell the cat.]

Rachel: Show cat! Quality show cat! Show cat! (A woman approaches.)

Woman No. 1: (looks into the box) Oh my God! What's wrong with your baby?!

Rachel: It's not a baby! It's a cat!

Woman No. 1: Eew! It's creepy looking!

Rachel: Oh no! No! It's actually—it's very sweet. It's very sweet. Look! (Goes to pet it and it hisses at her.) Yeah, do you want it?

Woman No. 1: (laughs) No, I hate cats.

Rachel: Well, so then what are you doing to me? Okay? Just get out of here! All right? Move on!

(Another woman approaches.)

Woman No. 2: Wow! What an unusual cat!

Rachel: Yes! Thank you! Exactly! You want it?

Woman No. 2: Maybe. I was thinking about getting a cat, I was just going to go to the shelter (Good for her) but… Okay, why not?

Rachel: Oh, terrific! That'll be $2,000.

Woman No. 2: What?!

Rachel: Okay, a thousand.

Woman No. 2: I thought you wanted to adopt your cat.

Rachel: Well, I do, but you're just gonna have to actually look at this as more of an investment than a cat.

Woman No. 2: Okay, yeah, I just wanted a cat. (Starts to leave.)

Rachel: (makes some unintelligible sound to stop her from leaving) Obviously you know how to haggle, so I'm not gonna try and take you on. Okay? So $800 and I don't call the cops because you're robbing me blind! Blind! (Covers her eyes) Just take cat, leave the money, and run away! Run away! (Uncovers her eyes and sees that the woman has fled) Damnit! (To the cat) Cat, can't you at least smile or something?! (The cat hisses at her again, it sounds like Rachel) Okay, did anybody just hear that? Anybody?

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, Monica, and now Chandler are still playing catch. The guys are exhausted and sitting around the room. Monica is still standing all pumped up and being hyper-competitive yet again. {Okay! We get it! She's competitive!! Must we see all the time?!}]

Ross: I'm starving!

Monica: Come on guys! Suck it up! We're closing in on ten hours! It's gut-check time!

Joey: I don't know who made you the boss? All right? We (Ross and him) invented this game!

Monica: Please! I made this game what it is.

Chandler: Not fun anymore?

Ross: I'm still hungry!

Monica: All right, there's some pizza at my place, we can all eat with one hand right? Are you with me?

Ross: I am!

Monica: All right! Let's go! (Runs to the door.) Let's go Team Monica! (The guys all stop and stare at her) All right, we can work out the name later.

[Cut to her apartment where Rachel is sitting at the table.]

Monica: Rachel! What is your cat doing in one of my bowls!

Rachel: It's not! I'm defrosting a chicken. (Pause) Oh, I uh sold Mrs. Whiskerson.

Ross: Oh, thank God!

Joey: Did you get your money back?

Rachel: Yeah, 15 hundred dollars.

Monica: Wow! You made a profit!

Gunther: (entering with the cat) I just came for the red-velvet pillow.

Rachel: Oh yeah, there you go. (Hands over the pillow.)

Gunther: Thanks Rachel. And-and don't forget you-you can come visit her anytime you want.

Rachel: Oh good, great! I'll-I'll keep that in mind. (Turns and walks away.)

Gunther: (To Ross) Hey! So what is this? Some kind of snake or something?

[Scene: Gary and Phoebe's apartment, it's morning and they're both waking up in bed.]

Gary: I really like waking up with you.

Phoebe: I like waking up with you too. (Looks out the window) Oh! It's such a beautiful morning. (Some birds are singing outside the window) Oh, I can stay here all day.

Gary: That would be great!

Phoebe: We could have breakfast in bed…

Gary: Wait, just a second.

Phoebe: Okay. (He grabs his gun and shoots the bird.) Oh! Oh no.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Hyper-competitive Monica, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are still playing catch. Monica is finally tiring while the rest of them are totally exhausted and virtually asleep.]

Monica: All right! Come on Monica! Look alive! Come on, look alive!

Phoebe: (entering) Oh good, you're all up.

Rachel: Phoebe! It's 6 o'clock in the morning! Why aren't you at Gary's?

Phoebe: Oh yeah, that's over.

All: What?!

Chandler: Come on! Gary's such a great guy! Whatever the problem is, you can work it out!

Phoebe: He shot a bird!

Chandler: Oh that is over!

All: That's terrible! I'm sorry!

Rachel: Phoebe, are you okay?

Phoebe: Yeah. Yeah, I'll be alright.

Joey: Oh hey, here Pheebs. (He throws her the ball.)

Phoebe: (catches it) Nah, I don't feel like playing. (She sets the ball down on the table and everyone gasps.)

Monica: It's okay. It's okay. Just pretend that it didn't happen! Okay? No one needs to know! I mean, Phoebe's not an official ballplayer! I mean, only official ballplayers can drop the ball!

All: All right. Okay. I'm starving! (They all get up, thus officially ending the game.)

Rachel: Phoebe, honey, wanna get some breakfast?

Phoebe: Yeah!

Monica: Okay! Okay, let's race! First one there wins! Ha-ha! (Runs out the door and everyone watches her leave.)

(Pause)

Chandler: You guys wanna eat here?

All: Yeah! As long as we're here!

Ending Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]

Joey: Man that was great! Huh? Can you believe how long we threw that ball around?

Rachel: Yeah, it is amazing it lasted that long.

Ross: I know. My arm is killing me.

Rachel: No, I meant with the dropper over here. (Points at Chandler.)

Chandler: Y'know, how did I get this reputation as a dropper? Okay? I'm anything but a dropper. (We see various scenes of him dropping a football, a mug of coffee, the phone, an apple, a Frisbee, a record, and the final scene has a ball bouncing off of his chest. I'm not going to describe them, you'll have to see them.)

End

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