影视听说 学英语,练听力,上听力课堂! 注册 登录
> 影视听说 > 影视原声 > 老友记 > 老友记第六季 >  列表

老友记第六季The One With Joey’s Porsche

所属教程:老友记第六季

浏览:

随身学
扫描二维码方便学习和分享
http://online1.tingclass.net/lesson/shi0529/0000/33/5.mp3
http://image.tingclass.net/statics/js/2012
真不敢相信, 你竟然没告诉我,我们还没离婚。 我这不是正准备告诉你么。 什么时候?等到我们第一个私生子出世么? Ross还没拿到离婚协议书,我们还是夫妇。 啊,上帝呀! Ross! 好吧,也许是我的不对, 可我真的无法再次面对失败的婚姻了。 我插进来问个问题先, 你从那点看来,这曾经是个成功的婚姻呢? Rach, 你想想,其实这还是挺有意思的。 算了,还是什么都不要想的好。 这真是个不可饶恕的过错, 我从心底里感到震惊。 Phoebe, 我已经告诉她你知道了。 又一个谎言,你有毛病了吧! Ross, 只是随便问问, 你不会再和我们中别的什么人结婚了吧? 噢! 嘿,有人钥匙掉了。 噢,是保时捷的钥匙。 嘿,Gunther, 这是你的么? 是的,我就是开它来的。 我每小时才赚4美元,我攒了整整350年! 别瞎扯了! 嘿,有人掉了钥匙么? Joey, 你为什么不把它们放在失物招领箱呢? 这儿有失物招领箱么? 我的鞋! 你掉了只鞋在这儿? 等我到家才发现, 我才懒得穿着一只鞋走那么长的路回来取呢! 好吧, 我去找那个人的车,然后在挡风玻璃上留张条。 好的,他回来找钥匙的时候, 我只能把你的鞋子给他了。 好的,谢谢! 噢,太好了,太好了,你们都在呢! 听我说,你们明天能帮我照顾一下 三只超级可爱的小狗狗么? 噢,好呀,肯定会很有趣的。 无所谓啦。 好的,那我明天早上把他们带过来。 恩,其实,他们不是真的小狗狗, 他们是Frank 和 Alice的三胞胎。好的,再见! 喂-喂-喂,什么? 求求你们了,求求你们了! 就帮个忙吧! Frank 和 Alice 让我帮忙看孩子, 我好紧张亚,我原来从来没照顾过孩子! 别担心,Phoebe,我们当然会帮忙了。 我也没问题, 如果是小狗,我反倒觉得可疑呢。 别这样,Chandler, 这是绝佳的练习机会,如果...... 如果有人带小孩来拜访的时候。 车不错呀。 可惜不是我的。 挺喜欢你的车。 是的,当然是我的。 开起来肯定很快吧? 当然了, 而且很舒适,你...... 你喜欢绒毛座椅么? 当然了! 它正好有。 这儿有我的箱子, Ross那里也有, 可是我却没地方住! 唉,我现在很容易就胡思乱想。 那我呢? 我刚发现Denise 出城之后, 就没人和我一起住了。 也许,也许我可以和你一起住,Pheebs. 是呀,也许你可以当我的室友! 这主意不错吧! 是呀! 太好了! 可是,Denise 什么时候回来呢? 恩,她说她12月26号回来。 12月26号? 也许她就是圣诞老人呢。 噢,瞧呀,这是谁呀,我老公,我的小甜心。 好了,我们明天中午2:00上庭。 我取来了所有的表, 我来搞定一切。 当然了,如果你说你来搞定所有事情的话, 我当然没有理由质疑你了。 把表给我! 好吧,这次我要用我的方法办事, 我不希望你叽叽喳喳的插嘴。 好吧,Rach,可是...... 噢,开始啦! Ross! 我只是,我...... 为什么?你为什么这么做? 我跟你说过的。 我不想听什么“三次婚姻失败”了。 如果你有两次失败的婚姻,你就会懂了! 好吧,那我该谢谢你,我现在有一次了。 噢,噢,我要疯了! Ross 我从来没有这么生气过! 我那次说我们分开的时候呢? 噢! Pheebs, 情况如何? 很好呀,我觉得都很顺利。 你觉得他们开心么?我是不是说得太快了? 没有啊,我和你差不多。 Pheebs, 一切都很顺利,你瞧Chandler和小乖乖女Chandler。 小乖乖女Chandler, 我原来在那里听过? 噢,是的,Ruben教练。 Pheebs, 你那里忙完了赶快过来, 我这里也有情况了。 不,不行,我们各自负责自己的宝宝。 你瞧,我正巧觉得它有问题呢。 我们不应该人盯人的对付这些宝贝儿,我们应该区域防守。 什么意思? 我只是觉得这样处理起来会简单一些, 如果我们都有各自负责的区域的话。 Phoebe, 你可以负责给他们擦洗。 而你呢,Monica, 负责给他们换尿布,而我 则可以负责欣赏他们在我怀里那可爱的小模样。 这听起来确实是挺不错的,不过也许你该负责给他们擦洗。 可是,我是个新手,不应该把我放在末区。 这太有意思了! 我们餐厅里就是这样摆盘子的。 是么?可这并不是我点的菜啊! 嘿! 嘿! 嘿! 嗨,宝贝们! 噢,今天是最开心的一天了。 那辆,那辆我有钥匙的保时捷,还在那儿呢! 真让人吃惊, 你竟然还拿着钥匙。 你该看看我和那车在一块儿的时候,人们是怎么对我的! 他们对我特别友好,他们想和我聊天,不只是关于那辆车! 有个人甚至给我股票投资提建议。 什么股票投资? 就是帮我赚钱买保时捷的呀,你到底有没有在听? 可是我想,如果-如果他们看见我一直在那儿傻站着的话, 他们也许会觉得那车不是我的。 所以,我准备洗车。 Monica,我可以借用一下你的水桶和肥皂么? 当然了,我有肥皂、海棉、抹布和车蜡。 还有擦亮剂呢。 可你自己连车都没有呀? 我知道,可是,有一次我看见了一辆非常脏的汽车 就在我们这栋前面,所以我就把它给洗了。 还有呢? 还有另外6辆别的。 怪不得呢。 Yeah, 它速度可达130呢, 这还是在城里的, 如果开到城外,我可以加速到160。 是么?你城外也有房子? 当然了。 好的,回见。 好的,回见! 嗨! 这是我的车 是么?嗯...... 再给我5分钟时间。 什么?你在干什么? 我,我捡到这些钥匙,现在只是想把它擦亮一些。 可,这是我的车呀。 是的,没错,但蜡是我的。 好吧,我-我不经常来这儿, 我不知道是你疯了,还是把这当作是街头艺术表演? 可是,我能要回我的钥匙么? 当然了,给你。 我帮你把车位留着。 我不会回来了。 为什么? 我住在城外。 是么?我也是。 我不知道我为什么这么紧张。 我也不知道为什么Frank 和 Alice 为什么老是抱怨个不停。 这看起来很容易么。 是呀,两个钟头和一辈子真的是差不多呀。 瞧瞧这个,瞧瞧这个! 小宝宝醒的时候,就会看见这个Krog了。 Chandler,你在干嘛?这东西会把他们的眼珠戳出来! 他比这强大的多,他可以毁灭整个宇宙! 不,Chandler,他们会吞下那些小部件的! 而且, 你瞧那些光滑的部分,会把他们搞得一团糟. 他们不会吞任何东西的. 你们太过于多虑了. 我小的时候, 我妈还把我扔到碎玻璃堆里去呢. 什么? 玻璃,沙子,管他什么呢. 噢,你看小Leslie在睡梦中舒展着身体。 她太可爱了! 你是什么时候开始不能把双腿伸到头后面的? 噢,我现在也可以亚。 那你为什么现在还单身? 好吧。 我好好想了想,也许你们是对的,Krog 可能不是个安全的玩具。 是么?是什么让你改变主意的呢? 我吞下了他的声速爆破枪。 怎么会这样呢? 我只是试着证明我是对的。 可是,结果却证明我是错的。 现在它还卡在我喉咙里呢。 真是的,我们一直 把注意力放在那些宝宝身上了, 可是却没人看着Chandler! 好的, 你们是来领取离婚协议的,是么? 是的, 法官大人, 这是我们填好的表. 你们申请上面说, 离婚是因为 Geller先生精神上不稳定。 好吧,我脑子确实有毛病了。 而且Geller先生还是个瘾君子。 什么? 是的,海洛因和crack. Crack根本就不是静脉注射毒品。 鬼知道你是怎么用的。 这儿还说, 婚前隐瞒自己的性取向? 啊?什么? Ross,别骗人了,我发现那些杂志了! 最后以至于你们无法继续这段婚姻。 也确实只能这样了,你是同性恋,还有毒瘾。 好吧,对不起,这太荒谬了! 我,我,我没吸毒,也不是同性恋。 没有任何东西阻止我继续任何事情! 我现在就继续我这段婚姻,此时此刻! 你没必要这么做。 我们开始约会的时候,如胶似漆。 欧! 如果你们俩现在还保持那种过分的关系的话, 那确实算是有问题了。 Ross! 法官大人,我们的热情早在两年前就消逝殆尽了。 您能把“继续过分的关系”加到纪录里面么? 这记录里面的东西,到底有什么是真的? 恩,我们确实是在Vegas结的婚,那里的名字是...... 好了,基于我所听到的,你们不够资格领取离婚证书. 如果你们不想过了的话,那就为离婚官司准备文件吧. 好吧,你现在满意了吧?你瞧你和你那些搞笑的表格都干了些什么! 什么?我? 那你呢?还有你那些什么如胶似漆的鬼话? 那又怎么了? 你还在敲什么? 你没听到她的话么? 我们领不到离婚证书了。 别敲了! 干嘛? 还敲? 嘿! 别敲了! 别敲了! 别敲了! 看见了么?看见了么? 你还要我和这样的人一起生活! 你们该出去了! 好吧,女士,要么这样, 我来是为了离婚证书,你给我我就走。 Yeah! 你们想到监狱过夜么? 耽误您时间了! 保时捷的车主把车取回去了。 可你发现了开他衣服的钥匙? 不,我只是 我只是喜欢别人认为我有保时捷车的那种感觉。 别人会因为你穿着这身衣服而认为你有保时捷么? 当然了! 只有傻瓜才会自己没车却还穿着这身衣服,不是么? 是的,当然了。 恩,而且只有天才才会吞下声速爆破枪。 噢,我吞过一次。 Yeah, 我去开我的保时捷了。 Joey, 你知道你并没有呀。 干嘛,你们这是干什么? 我正在扮演我的角色呢。你告诉她吧! 啊,它好像移了位置,戳的我好疼呀。 好吧,算了,我们去急诊室吧! 什么?不,不行,你们不能把他们留给我一个人照顾。 我们在看孩子也。 宝宝们睡着了,一切都好办了, 你先一个人撑一下好么? 可是你们不能把他们都留给我一个呀! 我们可是一个战队! 我们坚守着各自的区域!他们三个会联合起来对付我一个的。 现在有个塑料东西卡在他喉咙里了, 我们要去医院。 可是,医生帮不了他呀, 它得要自然降解,大概需要7年吧。 那是口香糖吧。(注:gum口香糖) 我很确信是手枪。(注:gun手枪) 好吧,听着,真得很疼,我们走吧。 男子汉可不会跑到医院去。 如果是Krog, 他会怎么做呢? 那小子怎么还没把我的车开回来! 也许是因为钥匙在你手上? (保时捷) 这都是你的错! 我的错?是你威胁法官的! 你还把记录机里面的纸都扯出来了呢! 只有那样才会让他停下来呀。 Hi! 你们好呀,Geller夫妇! 别这么叫我们! 法官不给我们离婚证书! 我们之好打官司离婚了! 你是不是撞上保时夹了? 嘿!是保时捷! 我来照顾你们,完全没问题! 你们都很安全,不是么? 好吧,我要把这个泡泡当作是,“当然了,我也行!” 好吧,等我处理完这个脏尿布,Leslie, 我会给你换个干净的。 噢,我不是有意吓唬你的,我得收拾干净亚。 不是么?要敢于面对,这是Monica的家。 我打碎了它,好吧,又怎么样呢? 事情原本就是这样呀。 好了,完了。 怎么只剩你们两个了? Leslie在哪里? 算了,你又不能回答,Leslie? 你在哪里?Leslie? Leslie, 这可是你说第一个字的绝佳时机呀! 噢,瞧瞧你! 嘿! 你可真有点儿调皮呀! 天哪! 你可不只是一点儿调皮而已! 好吧,它自己会干的。 好了,你和你弟弟、妹妹坐好, 他们到哪儿去了? 嘿! 你感觉怎么样? 恩,Krog在12到24小时内,就又可以 全副武装,再次毁灭宇宙了。 好吧,我完全一个人照顾好了所有的宝宝。 给他们喂食,给他们洗澡,送他们上床。 而且还在龙卷风到来时保护他们? 噢,天哪! 我知道,孩子睡着了 Phoebe, 这儿怎么了? 是我,我一个人照顾所有的孩子。 可是我的房子! 这可是Phoebe的得意之作。 可是这儿一团糟亚。 可这和Phoebe照料孩子的功劳相比, 又算得上什么呢? 你说得对,你说得对,我太在意了。 因为我和你有孩子以后,也会这样的。 你说什么时候呢? Phoebe, 你能不能看看这一团糟? 噢,亲爱的,你总算回来了,我好担心呀! 我拿回来了离婚协议。 我把所有的都签好了。 我把你要签字的地方都划了个小"X". 噢,小"X",太好了,一切都可以弥补了。 你知道么?你还不是做了很多蠢事? 噢,那就说一个和这次一样傻的事情。 好吧,就说你那次飞到伦敦阻止我婚礼! 还有,你在我结婚后告诉我你还爱我。 嘿!等一下,这完全不同,我做哪些事 是因为我那时还爱你。 是么?好吧! 你说的对,那完全是另外一回事。 我们还是,还是签协议吧。 怎么了? 没什么 好吧,开始签吧。 Uh-hmm. 祝贺你! 好吧,Ross,等一下, 我,我想做点儿忏悔。 什么? 这次结婚的事情, 也算是我的主意, 什么? 还记得我们结婚那晚,我们喝得太多, 什么都不记得了么? 是的? 我不是很想,不是很想说, 不过,一切都不停的在我眼前浮现, 还记得我们在俱乐部里面,为了某个原因而吃一大堆葡萄取乐么? 我觉得如果我们结婚的话,可能会更高兴的。 于是,我们就决定折衷一下,先结婚,然后 再去吃葡萄。 结果就...... 对不起,把我们带到今天这样的局面。 那么,就是说,如果仔细想来的话,这都是你的错了? 是的,别说的太过分。 我得说, 我和很多女人离过婚, 可我从来就没想过我会和你离婚。 我知道。 我总是想,如果我们结婚,我们会白头到老。 这也不会是一个秘密, 而且我们不会在必胜客里面举行婚礼。 最后是我,是我请的客么? 没有,算在房间上了,是特别为新婚夫妇准备的。 这也许是我这辈子以来听过得最伤心的事情了。 我该把这些送到我律师办公室了。 嗨,谢谢你,Ross, 照料这一切。 Eh, 没问题。 我需要复制一份。 当然了。 嘿,嘿! 小心我的保时捷! 嘿! Joey. 嘿!你们好! 他那最好的保时捷就在这下面。 我很想给你们展示一下,不过我刚把它罩上,它在睡觉呢。 你们想去喝一杯么?

The One With Joey’s Porsche

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there except for Rachel and Ross, who both come storming in. Rachel is still going off about Ross’s secret marriage.]

Rachel: I cannot believe that you didn’t tell me that we are still married!!

Ross: Look I was going to tell you!

Rachel: When?! After the birth of our first secret child?! (To All) Ross didn’t get the annulment; we are still married.

Chandler: What?

Monica: You’re kidding!

Phoebe: (overdoing it) Oh my God!!

Monica: Ross!

Ross: Okay, maybe it wasn’t my best decision. But I just couldn’t face another failed marriage.

Chandler: Okay, let me just jump in and ask, at what point did you think this was a successful marriage?

Ross: Rach, come on, if you think about it, it’s actually kinda funny. (He laughs, and he laughs alone.) Okay, maybe it’s best not to think about it.

Phoebe: Okay, this is inexcusable. I am shocked to my very core!

Ross: Phoebe, I told her you already knew.

Phoebe: Another lie. You have a sickness!

Chandler: Ross, just for my own piece of mind, you’re not married to anymore of us are ya?

Opening Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Monica are at the counter getting some more coffee.]

Joey: Oh! Hey, somebody left their keys. (Looks at them) Ooohh, to a Porsche! {Transcriber’s note: Oh come on! Who would leave the keys to their Porsche behind? If I had a Porsche, I’d have the keys surgically attached to my hand!} Hey Gunther, these yours?

Gunther: Yeah, that’s what I drive. I make four bucks an hour, I saved up for 350 years!

Joey: Na-uh! (To everyone there) Hey did anybody lose their keys?

Monica: Joey, why don’t you put them in the lost and found?

Joey: There’s a lost and found? (Gunther sets the box up on the table.) My shoe! (Grabs it out of the box.)

Chandler: You left a shoe here?!

Joey: Well, I didn’t realize until I got home. I wasn’t gonna walk all the way back down here with one shoe! Y’know what? I’m gonna go find that guy’s car and leave a note on the windshield. (Goes to do so.)

Chandler: Oh good, when he comes back for his keys, I’ll be sure to give him your shoe.

Joey: Great! Thanks. (Exits.)

Phoebe: (coming in from the bathroom) Oh, good, good, you guys are here! Listen, how would like to spend tomorrow taking care of three incredibly cute little puppies?!

Monica: Oh my God, what a fun day! That sounds great!

Chandler: (not enthused) Yeah, all right.

Phoebe: Okay, well I’ll bring them by tomorrow morning. Okay, and uh, by the way, they’re not actually puppies, they’re Frank and Alice’s triplets. Okay, see ya! (Exits.)

Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa! What?

Phoebe: (stops) Please! Please! Please! Please! Oh please! Please! Please! Frank and Alice asked me to baby sit the triplets and I’m nervous ‘cause I’ve never done that before by myself!

Monica: Don’t worry about it Phoebe, we’ll absolutely do it.

Chandler: Yeah, I’m gonna pass. ‘Cause I was kinda iffy when it was puppies.

Monica: Come on Chandler, come on! It’ll give us great practice for when—(realizes what she’s about to say and changes)—people with babies come to visit.

[Scene: The street down the block from Central Perk, Joey has found the Porsche and is writing the note.]

Guy #1: Nice car!

Joey: Yeah, it’s not mine.

Woman: (walking up) I love your car.

Joey: Yeah, it’s (looks up and sees the woman) mine.

Woman: I bet it’s fast.

Joey: Me too! Yeah. And comfortable. Do uh, do you like leather seats?

Woman: Yeah!

Joey: (checks in the window to make sure it has them) It’s got ‘em!

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are having tea.]

Rachel: So, I still have boxes here. I still have boxes at Ross’s, and I have nowhere to live! Wow. I could so easily freak out right now.

Phoebe: What about me? I just found out that Denise is leaving town for a while, I don’t have a roommate.

Rachel: Well, maybe-maybe I could be your roommate Pheebs.

Phoebe: Maybe you could be my roommate!

Rachel: Well there’s an idea!!

Phoebe: Yeah!

Rachel: That would be great! Wait, how long is Denise gone for?

Phoebe: Umm, she said she’d be back December 26th.

Rachel: December 26th, huh maybe she’s Santa Clause.

(Phoebe laughs, then stops to think about it. Ross enters.)

Rachel: (deadpan) Oh look who it is, my husband. The apple of my eye.

Ross: Okay, I got us a court date for tomorrow at 2:00 and I picked up all the forms. I’ll take care of everything.

Rachel: Well sure, if you say you’re gonna take care of everything I have no reason to doubt you. Give me those forms! (Grabs them from him.) All right, now I’m gonna do this my way and I don’t want to hear a peep out of you!

Ross: Okay Rach, but…

Rachel: Op! You’re peeping!

(Ross grunts something and hands her the pen he was trying to hand her.)

Rachel: Ross! Y’know what, I just got—why? Why did you do this?!

Ross: Look I told you…

Rachel: I don’t wanna hear "Three failed marriages!"

Ross: Look, if you’d had two failed marriages, you’d understand!

Rachel: Well, y’know what? Thanks to you I’m half way there! Ugh! Oh! I am so mad! Ross, I don’t think I have ever been this angry!

Ross: What about the time I said we were on a break?

Rachel: Ugh! (Stares at him.)

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next day, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are baby-sitting the triplets. They each have one baby.]

Monica: Pheebs, how’s it going?

Phoebe: (rapidly) I’m doing okay. I think it’s going well. Do you think they’re having fun? Am I talking to fast?

Monica: Nope, sound like me. Pheebs, it’s going great. Look at Chandler with little baby girl Chandler.

Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. It’s times like these I’m glad Smell-O-Vision hasn’t been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When you’re done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)

Phoebe: Na-uh, no, we are all responsible for our own babies.

Chandler: See that’s where I think that you’re wrong. We’ve been playing these babies man for man; we should really be playing a zone defense.

Monica: What do you mean?

Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And y’know Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around… (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)

Phoebe: That sounds really great, but maybe you should be in charge of wiping.

Chandler: Okay, I’m a rookie. I should not be in the end zone.

[Time lapse, they have set up a little assembly line for diaper changes. Phoebe wipes, Chandler adds the powder, begrudgingly, and Monica puts the diaper on.]

Monica: This is so great! This is exactly how we set the plates at the restaurant.

Phoebe: Yeah? (Checking the final diaper) Well this is not what I ordered.

Joey: (entering) Hey guys!

Chandler: Hey!

Phoebe: Hey!

Joey: Hey babies! Oh, I’m having the best morning. That uh, that Porsche I’ve got the keys too, still there!

Chandler: Shocking! Since you still have the keys.

Joey: You should see the treatment I get when I’m with that car! People are friendly; they-they wanna talk, and not just about the car! One guy gave me advice about my equity investments.

Chandler: What equity investments?

Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, they’re gonna start to think that I don’t own it. So I figured I’ll wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?

Monica: Oh yeah, I got soap and sponges and rags and Carnuba wax and polishing compound.

Chandler: You don’t even have a car!

Monica: I know. But umm, one time there was this really dirty car in front of the building, so I washed it.

Chandler: And?

Monica: And six others.

Chandler: There you are.

[Scene: The Porsche, Joey is finishing up washing the car and is talking to a guy about the car.]

Joey: Yeah, she tops out at 130.

Guy #2: Wow!

Joey: And that’s just in the city. I get her up to 160 when I take her upstate.

Guy #2: Really! You got a place upstate?

Joey: Sure!

Guy #2: Well, I’ll see you later.

Joey: Okay, take it easy.

The Porsche Owner: Hey! That’s my car.

Joey: Really? Oh uh, oh just give me five more minutes with it.

The Porsche Owner: What-what are you doing?

Joey: Oh I-I uh, found the keys and now I’m just polishing her up.

The Porsche Owner: But it’s my car!

Joey: Yeah, but it’s my wax.

The Porsche Owner: Listen, I-I-I don’t come to this city much so I don’t know if you’re crazy or this is some kind of street theater, but could I have my keys.

Joey: Sure. Here. (He hands them over.) I’ll uh, save your parking spot.

The Porsche Owner: I’m not coming back.

Joey: Why not?

The Porsche Owner: I live upstate.

Joey: Yeah, so did I.

(The guy gets in and drives off.)

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the triplets are all in their crib as Monica and Phoebe watch them.]

Phoebe: I don’t know why I was so nervous about this. And I don’t know why Frank and Alice are always complaining. This is so easy.

Monica: Yeah, two hours, a lifetime that’s the same.

Chandler: (entering) Check it out! Check it out! When the babies wake up, they can meet Krog! (He holds up this Xena-like warrior action figure.)

Monica: Chandler, what are you doing? That thing can put someone’s eye out!

Chandler: He can do more than that! He can destroy the universe!

Phoebe: No Chandler, they can swallow one of those little parts! And also, look at his smooth area, that’s just gonna mess them up.

Chandler: They’re not gonna swallow anything, you guys are being way over protective. When I was a kid, my mom used to just throw me into a pile of broken glass!

Phoebe: What?!

Chandler: Glass, sand, whatever. (Walks out as Monica and Phoebe turn to check on the babies again.)

Phoebe: Oh, look at little Leslie stretching in her sleep.

Monica: Oh it’s so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being able to put both legs over your head.

Phoebe: Oh, I can still do that.

Monica: How are you still single?!

Chandler: (entering) All right. (Clears throat) I thought about it and maybe you’re right. Maybe Krog is not a safe toy.

Monica: Good. What made you change your mind?

Chandler: I swallowed the sonic blaster gun.

Phoebe: How did that happen?!!

Chandler: Well, I was trying to prove that I was right. Y’know? And it turns out I was wrong. And now it’s lodged in my throat. (Mimics a cat trying to cough up a hairball.) (He does it again.)

Monica: Damnit! Y’know this whole time we were concentrating on watching the babies and, and no one was watching Chandler! (He does it again.)

[Scene: A judge’s chambers, Rachel and Ross are filing their annulment papers.]

Judge: Okay you two are asking the court for an annulment?

Rachel: Yes your honor, and here are, are forms, all filled out.

Judge: So based on your petition you are seeking an annulment on the grounds that Mr. Geller is mentally unstable.

Ross: Fine, I’m mentally unstable.

Judge: And based on the fact that Mr. Geller is intravenous drug user.

Ross: What?!

Rachel: Uh yes, heroin and crack.

Ross: Crack isn’t even an intravenous drug!

Rachel: Well, you would know.

Judge: Now it also says here that you lied about your sexual preference before marriage?

Ross: Oh, come on!

Rachel: (starts to cry) Ross, please, I found the magazines!

Judge: And finally that you were unable to consummate the marriage. Well, that makes sense since you’re gay and addicted to heroin.

Ross: Okay, I’m sorry, this is insane! I-I-I’m not addicted to heroin, I’m not gay, and there is no problem with my ability to consummate anything! Look, I’ll consummate this marriage right here, right now!

Judge: That won’t be necessary.

Ross: And when we were dating we consummated like bunnies!

Rachel: Ugh!

Judge: Now if you were two involved in a serious relationship, that really creates a problem.

Rachel: Ross! Your honor, rest assured relationship ended like two years ago! (To the stenographer) And could you strike "Consummated like bunnies" from the record?

Judge: Is there, anything in this record that is actually true?

Rachel: Well, yes, we got married in Vegas and uh, and the names I think.

Judge: Well, based on what I heard, you two certainly don’t qualify for an annulment. If you two don’t want to be together you’ll have to file for divorce.

Ross: (stands up) That’s great! Are you happy now? Look what you did with your funny, funny form!

Rachel: (stands up as well) What?! Me?! What about you and your consummated like bunnies nonsense!

Ross: And what—(notices the stenographer is still typing)—What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We don’t get the annulment. Don’t type that! What?! Stop typing! (He goes over to where the stenographer is typing and in the process pushes Rachel out of his way.) Hey! Stop typing! (He’s still typing.) Stop typing! Stop typing!!

Rachel: (to the judge) Okay, do you see, do you see what you’re keeping me married too?!

Judge: You need to get out of my chambers.

Rachel: All right look lady here is the deal, I came here for an annulment and I am not leaving here until I get one!

Ross: Yeah!

Judge: Would you like to spend the night in jail?

Rachel: And thank you for your time. (They both beat a hasty retreat.)

Commercial Break

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I can’t describe it, you’ll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]

Joey: (entering wearing nothing but Porsche clothes) So the Porsche guy took his car back.

Chandler: But you found the keys to his clothes?

Joey: No. No, I just uh, I just loved the way it feels when everybody thinks I own a Porsche.

Monica: And people will think you own a Porsche because you’re wearing the clothes?

Joey: Of course! Only an idiot would wear this stuff if you didn’t have the car! Right?

Chandler: That is true.

Phoebe: Yeah, but only a genius would swallow a sonic blaster gun.

Joey: Oh, I’ve been there. Yeah, I am gonna go drive my Porsche. (Starts to leave.)

Monica: Joey, you know you don’t actually have one.

Joey: Come on! What are you doing?! I’m in character! Would you talk to her! (Storms out.)

Chandler: Ahh, I think it just moved. It’s really poking me.

Monica: All right, that’s it, we’re going to the emergency room.

Phoebe: What?! No, you can’t, you can’t leave me here with them! We’re baby-sitting!

Monica: The babies are asleep, I’m sure you’ll be okay on your own for a while!

Phoebe: But you-you can’t leave me with them! We-we’re a team! We’re playing a zone! They’re gonna triple team me!

Monica: He’s got something plastic lodged in his throat, we’ve got to go to the hospital.

Phoebe: But no, because a doctor won’t be able to help him, it’s just gonna y’know naturally pass through his system in like seven years.

Chandler: I think that’s gum.

Phoebe: I’m pretty sure it’s gun.

Chandler: Okay, listen this really hurts. Let’s go.

Phoebe: A real man wouldn’t just run to the hospital! (They don’t stop.) No! What would, what would Krog do? (They ignore her and Phoebe is left alone.)

[Scene: The street, Joey is hanging out wearing his Porsche grab.]

Joey: Why isn’t that valet back with my Porsche?

Passerby: Maybe because you’ve got the keys?

Joey: (to women passing him) Porsche.

(Ross and Rachel approach, they’re still yelling at each other.)

Rachel: This is totally your fault!

Ross: My fault?! You threatened the judge!

Rachel: Well, you ripped the paper out of the court reporter’s machine!!

Ross: That was the only way I could get him to stop typing!

Joey: Hi! How are the Gellers?

Rachel: Don’t call us that! (Storms away)

Ross: The judge wouldn’t let us get an annulment! Now we gotta get a divorce!! Did a Porsch throw up on you? (Walks on.)

Joey: Hey! It’s Porsche!! (He’s right y’know.)

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is being triple teamed.]

Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, I’m gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, I’ll set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? ‘Cause let’s face it, we’re at Monica’s. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, that’s just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you can’t answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, you’re a lot mischievous! Well, it’ll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister now—who aren’t there! (They both have disappeared as well.)

[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monica’s apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, it’s messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what I’m talking about.]

Chandler: (entering) Hey!

Phoebe: (exhausted) How do you feel?

Chandler: Well, let’s just say that Krog will be fully equipped to destroy the universe again in twelve to fourteen hours.

Phoebe: Okay, so I totally took care of the babies all by myself! I fed ‘em, bathed ‘em, and put ‘em to bed.

Chandler: And protected them from a tornado?

(Monica enters and her jaw drops in horror.)

Monica: Oh my God.

Phoebe: I know, the babies are asleep.

Monica: Phoebe, what, what happened here?!

Phoebe: I did it! I took care of the babies all by myself!

Monica: But my apartment!

Chandler: Was the setting of Phoebe’s triumph.

Monica: But the mess!

Chandler: Is not as important as the fact that Phoebe took care of the babies all by herself.

Monica: You’re right, you’re right I shouldn’t freak out. ‘Cause this is what will happen when you and I have babies! When will that be?!

Chandler: (pause) Phoebe, would you take a look at this mess!!!!

[Scene: Ross’s apartment, Rachel is packing what she still has over there as Ross enters.]

Rachel: (deadpan) Oh honey thank God you’re home, I was getting worried.

Ross: I picked up the divorce papers. Uh, I’ve already signed everything and I put little ‘X’s where you need to sign.

Rachel: Oh, little ‘X’s! Great! That makes up for everything!

Ross: Y’know, I-I—you’ve done a lot of stupid stuff too! Okay?

Rachel: Oh, name one stupid thing that is as stupid as this one!

Ross: Okay, how about you flew to London to stop my wedding! Ah, how about you told me you loved me after I was already married!

Rachel: Hey! Wait a minute! That was different! I did those things because I was in love with you!

Ross: Yeah! Right!

(Pause.)

Ross: You’re right. That’s very different. So let’s, let’s just sign the papers. All right? (Sits down and Rachel keeps standing there.) What?

Rachel: Nothing. (Sits down.)

Ross: Okay, can we just sign please?

Rachel: Uh-hmm. (Just as Rachel finishes signing her name, Ross yanks each page out of the way.)

Ross: Congratulations. (Gets up to leave.)

Rachel: Okay Ross, we’re—wait a minute. Umm, I uh, I kinda have a little confession.

Ross: What?

Rachel: Well, y’know this whole marriage thing, kinda my idea.

Ross: Excuse me?

Rachel: Well, remember how we were too drunk to remember anything the night we were married?

Ross: Yeah?

Rachel: And uh, yeah, I didn’t really, I didn’t want to say anything, but it kinda it just, it kinda kept coming back to me, and umm, remember we were in the casino and for some reason thought it would be funny to eat a lot of grapes. And uh, and I thought it would be funnier if we got married. So as a, as a compromise we decided first to get married, and then (Ross joins in) to eat a lot of grapes. So umm, sorry I got us into this mess.

Ross: So then if-if—I mean if you think about it, this is all (Pause.) your fault.

Rachel: Yeah, don’t push it though.

Ross: I’ve got to say; I know I divorce a lot of women, never thought I would be divorcing you.

Rachel: I know. I always thought if you and I got married, it would be the one that stuck. And it wouldn’t be a secret, and we wouldn’t have our wedding dinner at Pizza Hut. (They both laugh.)

Ross: Did I, did I even treat?

Rachel: No, it was on the house, it was, it was a newlywed special.

Ross: That may be the most depressing thing I’ve heard in my life. I should probably get these to my lawyer’s office.

Rachel: Hey, thanks Ross, for taking care of all of this.

Ross: Eh, no problem.

(They hug.)

Rachel: I’m gonna need a copy of those.

Ross: Totally. (Exits.)

Ending Credits

[Scene: The street, Joey is messing with a car cover and still wearing the Porsche stuff. This guy playing street football catches a pass next to the car cover Joey is fooling around with.]

Joey: Hey! Hey! Be careful around my Porsche!

Woman: (the same one from before approaches) Hi Joey.

Joey: Hey! How you doin’?

Woman: (to her friend) He has the most amazing Porsche under there!

Joey: I’d love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. She’s sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)

End

内容来自 听力课堂网:http://www.tingclass.net/show-5033-478-1.html
用手机学英语,请加听力课堂微信公众号:tingclass123
用户搜索

疯狂英语 英语语法 新概念英语 走遍美国 四级听力 英语音标 英语入门 发音 美语 四级 新东方 七年级 赖世雄 zero是什么意思

订阅每日学英语:

  • 频道推荐
  • |
  • 全站推荐
  • 广播听力
  • |
  • 推荐下载
  • 网站推荐
0.109375