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老友记第六季The One Where Paul The Man

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The One Where Paul’s The Man

[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are there as Phoebe enters.]

Phoebe: (dejected) Hi, you guys.

Chandler: Hey!

Monica: Hi!

Rachel: What’s the matter?

Phoebe: Well it’s just—it’s one of those situations that I just hate. Y’know? A massage client gave me three tickets to the Helmet-Pelts exhibit at the Morgan Chase museum.

Joey: (nodding knowingly) Now you’re thinking you gotta sleep with him.

Phoebe: No! No! It’s just that he gave me three tickets and there are six of us!

Chandler: I’ll give up my ticket.

Joey: Me too.

Phoebe: Okay that’s so generous!

Chandler: And I think Ross is generous too.

Phoebe: Great! Okay then it’s just us girls!

Monica and Rachel: (less than enthused) Great.

Phoebe: Yeah.

Rachel: So what-what is the exhibit.

Phoebe: It’s mostly just photographs of lesbian love scenes interspersed with video games and free sandwiches.

Joey: Oh man! (Hits Chandler)

Ross: (entering) Hey!

Rachel: Hi!

Chandler: Hey!

Joey: Hey Ross listen Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend!

Ross: Thanks? But I have plans; Elizabeth and I are going out of town.

Monica: Oh that’s great!

Ross: Yeah.

Monica: I mean think about all the money that you’re gonna make!

Ross: Why? What?

Monica: Well, her father pays you for baby-sitting right?

Ross: No, no, that’s funny. But maybe it’s time to move on, let it go, y’know? Stop it! Besides, Rachel is going out with Elizabeth’s father, so ah, he’s much older than she is. Looks like I’m not the only one interested in fossils, huh?

Rachel: I mean Ross all that does is remind us that you are interested in fossils.

Ross: Okay, okay. Uh, well uh, Rachel is going to need to yell sweet nothings (Paul enters) in his ear.

(And walks up right behind Ross, and standard sitcom joke 2B follows with the person being insulted standing right behind the person doing the insulting while the rest of the people become frightened and try to warn the insulter about the insultee’s presence.)

Chandler: Ross.

Ross: Oh, come on you guys; that’s funny! Y’know? Because he’s need—he’s got like a hearing aide y’know, ‘cause-‘cause y’know, ‘cause he’s all old, and…

(Paul reveals his presence by laughing, thus concluding standard sitcom joke 2B. Paul then pulls Ross aside to have a little chat with him and tells the rest of the group that he’ll just be one second.)

Paul: Okay look, Ross, just so you know that since Lizzie likes you so much, I’ve decided to accept the fact that you’re going out with her.

Ross: Really? That okay, that’s great.

Paul: Yeah. But then I changed my mind. I’m funny like that. So I told Lizzie, now I’m telling you, I don’t want you seeing my daughter anymore.

Ross: All right look, I-I realize it upsets you.

Paul: Yes it does.

Ross: But, Elizabeth and I are-are both adults and so I don’t think there’s really anything you can do about it.

Paul: I’ll call the university and tell them about your relationship and have you fired.

Ross: Ohh! A man with a plan!

Opening Credits

[Scene: A Dry Cleaners, Joey is there with Phoebe and is trying to get his picture put back amongst the other celebrities hanging on the walls.]

Phoebe: Oh, this is so exciting! You get your picture back up on the wall of fame! Eek!

Joey: I know. It was so cool when I was up there before. Me and Jim Belushi would just be crackin’ up about something… Then I get fired off of Days Of Our Lives and he takes me down. Now he’s just laughing at me. Look at him, that smug Belushi bastard, I’ll…

Phoebe: (gasps) Ohh, okay maybe they put your picture back up they can put you next to Matt Lauer. Look at him, smiling at me. (Giggles) Yeah I know; we’d be great together!

(The dry cleaner finishes with the customer in front of Joey and they approach the counter.)

Joey: Hey! So I’m back.

The Dry Cleaner: Who are you?

Joey: Joey Tribbiani! From the wall! (The dry cleaner doesn’t remember) Okay, maybe this will jog your memory, huh? (Holds his picture up in front of his face.) Huh? Okay eh-ah-anyway, I’m ready to go back up on the wall I’m the star of a new TV show.

The Dry Cleaner: (picking up a TV Guide) Show me in the table.

Joey: Oh well, it’s not on TV yet.

The Dry Cleaner: Well, then it’s not on the wall yet.

Joey: Okay, fine, I will bring you a tape, huh? (Walks away)

Phoebe: So umm, now do you have any of Matt Lauer’s clothes here? Maybe? Just ones that haven’t been cleaned yet?

(The dry cleaner just stares at her and she retreats.)

[Scene: The Morgan Chase Museum, the girls are entering.]

Monica: Oh, I love museums!

Rachel: Umm.

Monica: Soakin’ up all the culture.

Rachel: Yeah.

Monica: Where do you want to start?

Rachel: Ooh, the gift shop!

Monica: Yeah!

Phoebe: Hey, and then lunch.

Rachel: Oh, wait yes, but I can’t eat too much. Paul is taking me out to dinner tonight, he said he has a big surprise planned.

Phoebe: Oh wow. What, do you think maybe he’s gonna tell you that he’s gay?

Rachel: What?! No! Why?!

Phoebe: No reason! That would just be a really big surprise, right?

(A museum official enters with another man and woman.)

The Museum Official: (to the couple) You can put the aisle over here (points), and put the wedding ceremony right over here. (Points.)

Rachel: I didn’t know you could get married here.

Monica: This would be a beautiful place to get married, yeah, but I wouldn’t put the aisle there and I would never have the ceremony there! (Points to both places.) I mean you’d have the ceremony under this big beautiful arch. (The arch at the entrance to the room.)

The Museum Official: (To Monica) May I help you?

Rachel: Oh sorry didn’t mean to interrupt. It’s just such a beautiful space; do you do a lot of weddings here?

The Museum Official: Yes. We’re very popular. There’s a two-year waiting list. Sorry! (She kinda storms out with the couple.)

Rachel: Monica, you should totally put your name down on the list

Monica: What?! Are you crazy?! I’m not getting married! I’m not even engaged.

Phoebe: Yeah, but there’s a two-year wait. And then what if you get engaged in two years and then you got to wait another two years for this place. That’s four years. Chandler’s not gonna wait that long. He’s gonna find somebody else, y’know? Someone, someone who did put their name on the list. (Rachel agrees.)

Rachel: Yeah hon, it can’t hurt to put your name down! I mean in if two years if you’re not engaged you just don’t use it.

Monica: Well, I mean I guess there is no harm in putting my name down.

Rachel: I’m gonna do it too!

Phoebe: Me too!

Rachel: Really? Who would, who would you marry?

Phoebe: I don’t know, I don’t have anyone right now. Y’know?

Rachel: Oh Pheebs.

Phoebe: Don’t feel too sorry for me. At least my boyfriend isn’t gay.

Monica: Phoebe, that stuff is…

Phoebe: Don’t even get me started on yours!

[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey is trying to get his picture up again.]

Joey: (entering) Hey! So, did you watch the tape of my show?

The Dry Cleaner: I did.

Joey: All right, let’s get me back up there! (Holds out his picture.)

The Dry Cleaner: No! It don’t go up on the wall!

Joey: What—But you saw the show!

The Dry Cleaner: Yes, it was very offensive to my people!

Joey: Dry cleaners?

The Dry Cleaner: Russians! It showed them as terrorists and villains!

Joey: Okay! Okay, look! You-you-you got Harrison Ford up there!

The Dry Cleaner: That’s right. Mr. Ford is a very good customer, he brings us a lot of clothes; you bring us nothing!

Joey: Okay well that may be true. But, in-in okay, Air Force One the Russians were terrorists! And evil! And plus he kills a bunch of them! That-that-that’s offensive to Russians.

The Dry Cleaner: I’ve never seen it!

Joey: Oh you should, it’s great.

(The Dry Cleaner stares at him and Joey retreats.)

[Scene: A Cabin in the Woods, Elizabeth is giving Ross a tour.]

Ross: This place is really beautiful!

Elizabeth: Yeah, I’ve been coming here since I was a kid. This used to be my Grandma’s.

Ross: Wow! The only thing I got from my Grandmother was her eyes. I mean not-not her actual eyeballs, but, but people say that my eyes—Do-do you want to make out?

Elizabeth: Sure!

(They fall to the couch and start to make out, but Ross stops suddenly.)

Elizabeth: Are you okay? What’s wrong?

Ross: Ehh, I was just, I was just thinking about your father.

Elizabeth: Well, whatever works for ya…

Ross: No. No-no uh, he just, he just really freaked me out before.

Elizabeth: Oh. Well, so we have to hide our relationship from one more person. Big deal. Besides, it’s kinda fun hiding.

Ross: Yeah.

(They start making out again.)

Elizabeth: (quietly) Hey umm, you brought protection right?

Ross: (loudly) Why?! Are there like bears or something?! (Looks around and then sees that Elizabeth is shaking her head no and realizes what Elizabeth meant.) Ohh. Oh, protection. Yeah-no, yeah-no, that-that-that I forgot.

Elizabeth: I’ll just run to the store and get some.

Ross: Oh no! Hey-hey, I’m the guy! I’ll get it.

Elizabeth: Do you know where the store is?

Ross: No.

Elizabeth: Do you want to ride around town on my little pink bicycle?

Ross: A little bit.

Elizabeth: (laughs) I’ll be back in ten minutes.

Ross: Okay.

Elizabeth: Why don’t you get in the hot tub and I’ll meet you there.

Ross: Ohh, okay.

(Elizabeth leaves and Ross starts to remove his clothing right there in the middle of the living room where someone can see him. Of course, someone almost does, but he hears a door opening and…)

Rachel: (from another room) Oh my God, what a great surprise! This is such a beautiful house.

(Ross with his pants around his ankles tries to run, but Dr. Geller forgets that he has his pants around his ankles and falls down trying to flee.)

Paul: (To Rachel) Thank you, it’s my mom’s. So this is the kitchen.

(Dr. Geller, the man with the Ph.D. in Paleontology, is trying to find a place to hide, but this supposedly intelligent man in the hands of clichéd scriptwriters runs around with his pants down around his ankles like one of the Three Stooges.)

[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is reading the newspaper as the phone rings. He let’s the machine answer it.]

Chandler: (on machine) You’ve reached Monica and Chandler’s, if you’re listening to this message, we’re probably screening. (to himself) Yeah we are.

The Museum Official: (on phone) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. I’m calling for Monica Geller. I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if she’s still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available… (Chandler runs to answer the phone.)

Chandler: (on phone) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (Listens) Yes, the groom—No! Not the groom!!

Commercial Break

[Scene: Paul’s Cabin, Paul and Rachel are sitting on the couch drinking wine and talking.]

Rachel: It’s so secluded up here.

Paul: I know. I like it up here.

Rachel: I feel like we’re the only two people in the world. (She sets down her wine class, picks up a walnut, and knocks another one on the floor.) Oops. Sorry. (She reaches down to pick it up and Ross hands it to her. Ross is hiding under the couch and causes Rachel to scream.)

Paul: What’s the matter honey? Did you see a little mouse?

Rachel: No-no! Big bear! Big bear outside! I think I-I—would you—actually, would you go check on that?

Paul: Honey, we don’t have any bears here.

Rachel: Well, okay. Would-would you get me a Diet Coke?

Paul: Okay. I’ll be right back. (Gets up and heads for the kitchen.)

Rachel: Okay. (After Paul leaves Rachel drops to the floor to confront Ross.) What?! What are you doing here?!

Ross: What are you doing here?!

Rachel: I came with Paul!

Ross: Yeah, I recognize the ankles!

Rachel: Get up!

Paul: (entering) Here you go honey! (Rachel kicks Ross back under the couch.)

Rachel: Ahh. Thank you!

Paul: Diet Coke. (Hands her the glass.)

Rachel: Op, ice. I need ice.

Paul: Okay.

Rachel: Thank you.

Paul: I’ll be right back. (He goes to get the ice.)

Ross: (under the couch) You and your ice.

Rachel: Ugh! Get out! Get out! Go! Come on! (Ross gets up and heads for the kitchen.) No! Not in there! He’s in there! (She points Ross to the door next to the kitchen.)

Ross: (before entering) Did you really hear a bear?

Rachel: Go-go!

Paul: (entering) Here you go honey. One Diet Coke with ice.

Rachel: Ohh, thank you.

Paul: I’m so happy that you’re here.

Elizabeth: (entering) Here I am!

Paul: (jumping up) Elizabeth! Oh look, Elizabeth’s here! Who are you talking to?

Elizabeth: Uh, you guys?

Paul: How did you know we were here?

Elizabeth: Umm…

Rachel: Well, she-she ob-obviously saw the tire tracks that were leading up to the closed garage.

Elizabeth: Obviously.

Paul: Elizabeth, what are you doing here?! (Motions that he brought Rachel here to be alone with her.)

Rachel: Did-did you come up here to work on that term paper or something?

Elizabeth: Yeah! Yep.

Rachel: Well, why do y’know go in that room (points to the room Ross is in) and do your homework?

Elizabeth: Ohh, I wouldn’t do it in there. That’s my dad’s bedroom.

Rachel: That’s your, that’s your dad’s bedroom. (Yelling) That’s your dad’s bedroom!

Paul: Why are you yelling?

Rachel: Whoa, that Diet Coke just went straight to my head! Woo!

[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table staring at the phone as Monica enters.]

Monica: Hi, honey.

Chandler: (gets up) See you later. (Starts to leave.)

Monica: What? I-I bought groceries, I was gonna make you dinner!

Chandler: (angrily) Well next time ask! Or at least wait for me to ask! (He storms out.)

(Monica puts the groceries down and goes to check the answering machine and hears.)

The Museum Official: (on machine) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. I’m calling for Monica Geller.

Monica: Oh no!

The Museum Official: (on machine) I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if she’s still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available…

Monica: Oh please, he didn’t hear it! He didn’t hear it!!

Chandler: (on machine) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (The machine beeps off.)

Monica: NOOOO!!!!!!!!

[Scene: The Dry Cleaner’s, Joey has brought in a bunch of laundry in another attempt to get his picture on the wall, but the dry cleaner isn’t working right now. Instead, a beautiful woman is working.]

Female Clerk: Can I help you?

Joey: Uh yeah, where-where’s the guy who decides who’s pictures go up on the wall?

Female Clerk: He’s not here right now.

Joey: Oh, you’re kidding me! All-all right, well make sure you tell him that Joey Tribbiani stopped by to drop off all of these clothes. Okay? I’m an actor; I’m kinda getting my picture up there on the wall.

Female Clerk: Y’know, there are two people who could put your picture up there. (She makes eyes at him.)

Joey: Oh really? Well, maybe you and I go out for drinks? (Pause) You’re the other one right? (She thinks about it for a second and nods yes.)

[Scene: Paul’s Cabin, continued from earlier.]

Paul: So Lizzie, are-are-are you planning on staying the night?

Elizabeth: Oh no-no believe me, I’m leaving as soon as possible!

Paul: Good. Good. Not that we don’t want you to stay, obviously you’re welcome—How much more homework do you have?

Elizabeth: Ahh, I just have one problem left that I do not know how to solve. Uhh, Rachel maybe you want to come upstairs and help me figure it out?

Rachel: Really? Okay. Okay, I-I’ll go upstairs. (to Paul) If-if you get me something from the car.

Paul: What do you need from the car?

Rachel: Surprise me.

Paul: (whispering) Okay. (Starts for the car.)

Rachel: (yelling) So you’re gonna be in the car, I will be upstairs, and that’s where everybody’s gonna be!

(Rachel and Elizabeth go upstairs. Paul starts for the car, but notices his luggage is still out and decides to take in into the bedroom.)

[Cut to his bedroom, Ross is listening at the door as Paul opens the door, trapping Ross behind it. With Paul’s back turned Ross coils up like a snake and slitters underneath the bed.]

Paul: (standing in front of a mirror and to himself) Just relax. Just relax Paul, you’re doing great. (Ross moves a piece of luggage over so he can watch Paul.) She likes you. She… Maybe, she likes you. She likes you. Y’know why? Because you’re a (pause) neat guy. (Ross can’t believe what he’s hearing.) You are the man. You are (pause) the man! (He opens his shirt and looks at his chest.) I still got it. Nice and sexy. You’re just a love machine. (Starts singing) I’m just a love machine and I won’t work for nobody but you! Hey bab-y! (Flexes and grunts loudly.) Showtime. (Starts to leave and starts singing.) I’m just a love machine, yeah ba-by! (Grunts again and Ross is stunned.)

[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Monica rushes in.]

Monica: Phoebe!

Phoebe: Yeah?

Monica: Have you seen Chandler?!

Phoebe: No! Why?

Monica: The woman from the museum called and said that there was a cancellation and that we could move up our wedding and Chandler heard! (Phoebe gasps.) I know! How bad is this?!

Phoebe: Well for the regular guy, it’s bad, but Chandler, Oh dear God!

Monica: I know! I know! And he totally freaked out and I can’t find him anywhere!

Phoebe: What are you gonna do?

Monica: Well, I’m never gonna listen to you again, that’s for sure! (Mimicking her.) "Y’know, harm can it do if you go and put your name down?"

Phoebe: Rachel said that!

Monica: Well Rachel’s not here! (Runs out.)

[Scene: The Dry Cleaner’s, Joey and Phoebe are entering to see if his picture is on the wall.]

Phoebe: Oh! Here it is! (Noticing it next to the door.) Ooh, Joey! Why did you sign it, "Son of a bitch?" (Son of a bitch is written across the entire picture.)

Joey: I didn’t do that! Who would’ve done that?!

The Dry Cleaner: (entering) Son of a bitch!

Phoebe: Okay, maybe ask this guy.

The Dry Cleaner: You, get out of my shop!

Phoebe: Well, what did he do?

The Dry Cleaner: He went out with my wife!

Phoebe: Joey!

Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, I-I—Hey! I did not go out with your wife! (The same woman from before enters.) Okay? I went out with her! (Points at her.)

The Dry Cleaner: That’s my wife!!! Get out! (Starts yelling at him in Russian, and I’m betting he’s not saying pleasant things about him.)

Phoebe: Well, we should go.

Joey: Yeah.

[Scene: Paul’s Bedroom, Elizabeth is entering.]

Elizabeth: Ross? Ross?

Ross: Elizabeth! (He opens one of the bed stands that he has curled himself up into.) Okay. Okay. (She helps him out.) I’m gonna go out this window. (Points to the window next to him.) I’ll meet you at the front door. Just tell them you’re going home, okay?

Elizabeth: Okay!

Rachel: (yelling from the living room) Oh wait-wait-wait!! No! Don’t go in there! Don’t go in there! I need another soda!

(Ross frantically starts to open the window as Paul enters and traps him halfway out the window.)

Paul: Ross!

Rachel: Oh my God Ross! What in heaven’s name are you doing here?

Ross: (to Elizabeth) And that is why we cannot see each other anymore.

Paul: Ross. You and I are going to have to have a little talk.

Elizabeth: Daddy!

Paul: You’re next!!

Elizabeth: Okay. I didn’t know he was here. (Runs over to Rachel.)

Paul: Let me just see if I got this straight. I tell you to stay away from my daughter or I’ll have you fired. What you heard was, "Take my daughter, come up to my country house, and ruin my weekend with Rachel!"

Ross: Okay, please-please Paul, just let me explain…

Paul: No, let me explain! Fired!!

Ross: All right, fine! Fine! Have me fired! But uh, I want you to know that you and I are not all that different. I mean, I too am a neat guy. (Paul just looks at him.)

Paul: (panicked) What?

Ross: And I too am just a love machine. (Hums a little bit and mimics Paul’s flexing.)

Paul: Ross, let me show you where the guest room is.

[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is pacing, waiting for Chandler to return. Chandler enters.]

Monica: (going over to him) I’m so sorry. Please, stop freaking out.

Chandler: I’m not freaking out. Why would I be freaking out? A woman named Heldi called and said we were getting married, but that happens everyday. (Does one of those Chandler noises.)

Monica: Honey, we were at this beautiful place, and I-I-I just put our names down for fun! I mean, what’s the harm in that?

Chandler: Right here! (Clucks like a chicken for some reason.)

Monica: Chandler, please don’t think I was trying to pressure you. Phoebe and Rachel…

Chandler: Phoebe and Rachel! So the people that knew about our wedding before me were you, Phoebe and Rachel, Heldi, and apparently some band called Starlight Magic 7 who are available by the way!

Monica: It was a mistake. Please don’t take this to mean anything, because it doesn’t.

Chandler: Okay.

Monica: Really?

Chandler: Yes, if it really doesn’t mean anything, because you know that I’m just not ready…

Monica: I know! I know.

Chandler: Okay. (They hug.)

Monica: I’m gonna go tell Joey that (laughs) that you’re back. I was really worried about you. (Exits.)

Phoebe: (entering from her room) Hey, did she buy it?

Chandler: Totally.

Phoebe: So did Heldi show you the place?

Chandler: Yeah, it’s beautiful.

Phoebe: I can’t believe you’re gonna ask Monica to marry you!

Chandler: I know.

(They hug.)

Ending Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is going up to the counter.]

Joey: Hey Gunther.

Gunther: Hey! Take these cappuccinos to table 11 and that guy over there (points) wants the biscotti.

Joey: Oh uh, well I just came in for a cup of coffee to go.

Gunther: Do you still work here?

Joey: No! No, I quit a long time ago. (Pause) Did I forget to you that one? I’m sorry.

Gunther: Oh that’s cool, I was gonna fire you anyway.

Joey: Great! (Takes his coffee and leaves.)

End


你们好.
怎么了?
我最不喜欢的情况发生了
按摩客户送我三张
Morgan Chase博物馆参观票
所以你得陪他睡觉
不是!
他只给了三张票,
而我们一共六个人
- 我弃权- 我也让位
你们真大方!
罗斯也一定会大方
好得很!就我们女生去!
- 很棒.- 对.
展览内容?
图片展
女同性恋的爱情场面,
并有视频游戏,附送三明治。
天啊!
- 嘿!- 嗨!
罗斯,钱德刚刚把你周末去博物馆
看女同志、吃三明治的
大好机会给葬送了!
谢?不过我另有安排;
我和伊丽莎白要出城。
- 厉害!- 对.
你要发财了
啥?你说什么?
她老爸付钱请你带孩子?
呸,真有趣啊。
是不是该放我们一马了
不许再提!
再说,瑞秋还不是勾搭伊丽莎白她爸!
他还不是比她老几十岁?
好象会对化石感兴趣的
不单是我?
你说那么多,只说明
你的确对化石感兴趣
好吧
以后瑞秋跟老保罗说悄悄话
都需要大吼大叫
罗斯.
难道你们不觉得好笑?
他需要助听器!因为
他太老了
罗斯
莎莎那么喜欢你
我本打算接受你和她交往的事实
真的?太好了
恩。但我改主意了
有趣吧
所以我警告了莎莎,现在我警告你,
不许再跟我女儿见面
好吧,就算你不满
我很不满
但伊丽莎白和我都是成年人
所以你对我们无能为力
我打电话给校方,
师生恋一曝光、你就会被炒
太帅了!你的照片重返名人墙!
是啊,以前把照片
贴上去时,
我和Jim Belushi在墙上
的地位不相上下
后来我被剧组炒了,
他就把我挤下来了
看他,在笑我
自大狂Belushi
哦,
这次,没准你会被挂在男主播Matt Lauer旁边!
他冲我笑呢
我晓得,我们俩一定合拍!
嘿!
我回来了
你哪位?
崔乔伊!以前上过名人墙!
想起来了?
我要回墙上去,现在我在
新的电视剧里挑大梁
翻给我看
还没演呢
那我不能挂你
我给你带卷录影带来,可以吧?
你这里有Matt Lauer的衣服么?
找找看?没洗过的?
- 哦,爱死博物馆了!- 恩.
- 广泛吸收各类文化.- 对.
从哪里开始参观?
- 礼品部!- 好!
然后去用餐
但我不敢吃太多
保罗晚上带我出去吃饭
他说要让我大吃一惊
告诉你、他是同性恋?
什么?不可能!你怎么这样说
不为什么!那会让你大吃一惊对吧
这里当过道,这边举办婚礼仪式
没想到这儿还可以办婚礼
作为结婚场所,这里太美了
但我不会把这里当过道,
而且我绝不在这边举办仪式!
我是说,新人应该在
美丽的拱门下宣誓
需要帮忙吗?
抱歉打扰
这地方太美了,常办婚礼?
对。我们这里很受欢迎。
排队的都轮到两年以后了。对不起!
莫妮, 赶快报名排队!
你疯了?
我没结婚计划!我甚至还没订婚
不是还要等两年吗?
万一你在两年后订婚?
还要再等两年、才能到这里结婚
一共四年
钱德才不会等那么久。
他会找别的女人
找报了名的女人
宝贝
报个名又没有坏处!
如果你2年后还没订婚,
你就放弃机会
有道理
我也报名!
我也要!
是吗?新郎是谁?
不晓得,暂时没有人选
菲菲
别为我难过,
至少我男朋友不是同性恋
这种事……
别招我批评钱德!
看过我拿来的带子了吗?
看了
我能上墙了吗
不准!
你不是看了我的片子?
恩,这片子冒犯了我们
冒犯了干洗店一族?
冒犯了俄国人!
片子里俄国人全是恐怖分子和恶棍!
那Harrison Ford还不是在墙上?
Ford先生是很好的顾客
他拿很多衣服来洗;
你从不照顾我们生意!
你说得也许对,但是,
《空军一号》,你不反感吗?
片子里俄国人是恐怖分子!坏蛋!
Ford先生对俄国人大开杀戒!
那才是冒犯俄国人呢
没看过
你该看看,很棒
好地方!
- 我从小就常来住- 哇!
我祖母传下来的房子
我祖母传下来的
唯一遗产是她的眼睛
当然不是她的眼珠子
但人家都说我的眼睛长得像——
来鬼混?
好呀!
你怎么了?
我想起你爸爸
只要你兴奋就行
不是的,
他挺吓人的
那我们还得多瞒一个人
瞒着父亲大人. 对了,
偷偷摸摸挺好玩的

- 嘿 -恩,
你带防具了?
啊?这里有熊出没?
哦,防具
哦,没带,我给忘了
我跑去店里买
应该由男人去买!
你知道商店在哪里?
不知道
想骑着我的粉红单车满城转悠吗?
有点想
- 我十分钟内回来- 好.
你泡个澡,我到浴缸里找你

天啊,惊喜!这房子真漂亮
谢谢,家母的房子.
这边是厨房
这里是莫妮和钱德的家
当你听到这条消息,我们也许正在监听
以决定是否接电话
的确
我是Morgan Chase博物馆的Heldi
我找莫妮·盖勒
有客户取消预定
若莫妮小姐仍有兴趣
在本馆与宾家联姻
请把握机会
我就是钱德·宾!
新郎倌?
错!
- 这里好象与世隔绝- 对.
我喜欢这里.
全世界好象只有我们“俩”
抱歉
怎么了?
看见一只小老鼠?
不!大熊!在外面!
我去——要不你去,查看一下?
宝贝,本地没有熊出没。
好吧
拿瓶健怡给我好吗?
- 好,马上回来. - 好.
你在这里搞什么飞机?
那你又跑来这里干什么?
保罗带我来的!
从他脚踝也认出来了
滚出来!
给,宝贝
谢谢
健怡可乐
哦,冰!
我要加冰!
- 好.- 谢你.
- 马上回来. - 多谢.
- 你还要加冰.- 呃!
滚出来!
别去厨房!他正在里面!
- 你当真听到熊的动静?- 快跑!
宝贝,给.
加冰健怡
多谢
真高兴你来了
- 我回来了!- 伊丽莎白!
哦, 伊丽莎白来了!
你跟谁讲话?
跟你们?
- 你怎么知道我们来了?- 恩
她肯定看见车库关上了,
门前有轮胎印
没错
伊丽莎白, 你跑来干嘛?
你来写学期报告吗?
正是!
不如你到那间房去写?
不,那是我爸爸的卧房
你爸爸的卧房?
是你爸爸的卧房!
你吼什么?
可乐起作用了!哇!
宝贝
呆会见
啊?我买了菜,正想给你做饭呢!
那你下次问清楚先!
或者,你至少等我先开口问你!
喂,我是Morgan Chase博物馆的Heldi
我找莫妮·盖勒
不要!
有客户取消预定
若莫妮小姐仍有兴趣
在本馆与宾家联姻
- 别说了, - 请把握机会- 他没听见!
我就是钱德·宾!
不!!!!!!!!
有何贵干?
负责名人墙的那家伙呢?
他不在
不会吧!
你务必告诉他,崔乔伊
送洗一大堆衣服!
我是个演员;我的照片要挂到墙上
有两个人有权利把你的照片挂上去
真的?
要不你陪我出去喝两杯?
你就是另外那个对不对?
莎莎,今晚你要留下过夜?
我立刻消失!

并非我们赶你走,我们很欢迎你
还有多少作业?
只剩一个问题
瑞秋,你上楼帮帮我?
啊?
好.
我上楼一下
帮我到车里拿点东西?
需要什么?
给我点惊喜.
- 好.- 好.
你到车库,我上楼
这里就空无一人!
放轻松,保罗
你表现很好
她喜欢你,她有可能喜欢你
她喜欢你
为什么呢?因为你爱干净
你是她的心上人,猛男!
魅力不减当年,优雅、够性感
你不过是爱的机器
“我这部爱的机器啊,只为你开动!”
演出开始.
“我这部爱的机器啊”
- 菲比!- 恩?
- 看见钱德吗?!- 没! 咋了?
博物馆来电话,说有人取消预约
我的预定提前了,电话被钱德接到了!
这很严重吗?
普通的男人会觉得严重,
但钱德听见, 天啊!
我晓得!他吓得落荒而逃,没影了!
你怎么办?
哼,我再也不听你教唆了
还说什么 "报个名也没什么坏处"
- 是瑞秋说的!- 但瑞秋现在不在!
哦!我看见了!
乔伊! 你的签名怎么
“衰人”?
不是我干的!我怎么会这样签?!
衰人!
问问他
你,给我滚出去!
他做什么坏事了?
他和我老婆乱搞!
乔伊!
什么?我才没有和你老婆乱搞!
我跟她好!
她就是我老婆!滚!
- 我们走吧.- 好.
罗斯? 罗斯?
伊丽莎白!
好了
我爬窗出去
前门见。你跟他们说你回家去
好!
等一下!先别进去!
我还需要一杯苏打水!
罗斯!
天啊,罗斯!
你在这里搞什么名堂?
所以,我们还是不要再见面了
罗斯.
我们单独谈谈
爸!
- 下一个跟你谈!!- 好.
我不知道他在这里.
我已经讲得很明白,
要么离开我女儿,要么被炒鱿鱼
你却把我的警告理解为:
“和我女儿好,”
“光临我家别墅,坏我和瑞秋的好事!"
保罗,听我解释
我来解释!
炒鱿鱼!!
好!大不了失业!
不过,你得知道
你我并无分别
我也爱干净
什么?
我也是爱情机器
罗斯,
我带你去客房
抱歉.
别怕
我不怕
有什么好怕的
叫Heldi的女人打电话来,通知我们结婚
这很平常
宝贝,那地方超美
我报名只是好玩!报个名也没坏处嘛
是吗!
钱德, 别以为我是想给你施压
- 都是菲比和瑞秋的主意ˇ.- 菲比和瑞秋!
我要结婚了,你先知道,
菲比和瑞秋先知道, Heldi先知道!
还有什么
轮出空挡的魔力星光乐队也知道了!
我的失误.
这没什么意义,别当真
好.
真的?
没意义就好,我还没准备好
我知!
好.
我去告诉乔伊你回来了
我真替你担心
她信了?
确信无疑.
Heldi带你看好场地了?
美仑美奂
天啊,你竟要向莫妮求婚了!
是呀.
阿甘
卡布基诺端到11号桌
那人点小甜饼
我只是来买一杯咖啡,外带
你还在这里上班?
我辞职很久了
我忘了通知你? 抱歉
没事,反正我要开掉你
帅!

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