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老友记第七季711 The One With All The Cheesecakes

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711 The One With All The Cheesecakes
[Scene: Chandler and Monica’s, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table eating cheesecake. The box it came in is also on the table.]
Chandler: Ohh. Mmm.
Rachel: (Comes in the front door and walks towards the kitchen.) Hi.
Chandler: Hey, you have got to try this cheesecake.
Rachel: Oh, y’know I'm not that much of a sweet tooth. I—(Chandler puts a forkful of the cheesecake in her mouth.)—Wow. My God, so creamy. Oh my God, this is the best cheesecake I have ever had. Where did you get this? (She reaches over to look at the label on the box.)
Chandler: (nervously) It was at the front door. When I got home. Somebody sent it to us.
Rachel: Chandler, this is not addressed to you. This is addressed to Mrs. Braverman downstairs. (Gasping) Thief.
Chandler: I—no! I didn't read the box before I opened it. And you can't return a box after you've opened the box.
Rachel: Why, why not?
Chandler: Because it's too delicious.
Rachel: Chandler, you stole this cheesecake. That is wrong.
Chandler: No-no-no! It is going to be okay, because Mrs. Braverman is gonna send away for a free one and that way we all win! The only losers are the big cheesecake conglomerate, (Reading the label) Momma’s Little Bakery. (Pause) I feel terrible, I’m a horrible, horrible, horrible person.
Rachel: (taking a bite) Oh, I’m sorry what?
Opening Credits
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Rachel is there as Joey gets up and starts putting on his coat.]
Joey: All right, I should get going, big day a work. Y’know I’m in a coma? Today, they do this test on me and it turns out I’m not brain dead.
Chandler: So…
Joey: Ah-ah-ah Mr. Smartie Pants, it’s just not my character that’s not brain dead. Hey, so Pheebs, we still on for tonight?
Phoebe: Absolutely!
Joey: I’ll see you at 8:00.
Phoebe: Okay. (Joey exits.)
Chandler: Oh, what’s at 8:00?
Phoebe: Oh, I have dinner plans with Joey. We get together about once a month to discuss the rest of you guys.
Ross: Wow, did not know that! May I say how lovely you look today?
Phoebe: Duly noted.
Ross: Thanks. (Phoebe gets up to get a refill.) (To Monica) Oh! So for tomorrow, do you want to rent a car and drive down together or what?
Monica: What are you talking about?
Ross: Cousin Frannie’s wedding, its tomorrow night.
Monica: You were invited?!
Ross: No.
Monica: My God, I can’t believe this! I mean I knew that mom and dad were invited, but I thought that was it! I mean from the ages 7 to 9 Frannie and I were inseparable!
Chandler: Well, maybe since the age of 9, Frannie’s made some new friends.
Ross: Well l-look okay, it’s probably just a mistake. Let me call Aunt Sheryl okay? Maybe you are invited and the invitation just got lost in the mail.
Monica: Yeah, well you call her and tell her that y’know when we were kids her precious little Frannie tried to undress me several times, okay? And if I hadn’t have stopped her, there probably wouldn’t even be a wedding to go too.
Ross: Y’know, she tried to undress me too.
Chandler: I used to undress my cousin Glenn. (Monica looks at him then sushes him.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Monica, Chandler, Rachel, and Ross are playing Monopoly as Phoebe enters angrily.]
Phoebe: Joseph Francis Tribbiani are you home yet?!!
Rachel: Umm, I think he’s still out. What’s wrong?
Phoebe: Well, I’ll tell you Rachel Karen Green, I had plans with Joey tonight and he left me this note. (Hands it to Rachel.)
Rachel: (reading the note) "Pheebs, can’t make it, got a date. Talk to you later. Big Daddy." (Laughs) Big Daddy?
Phoebe: Oh that’s a nickname we were trying out.
Ross: Hey, y’know what nickname never caught on? The Ross-A-Tron! (Monica shakes her head in disgust.)
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Oh! Here’s Joseph Francis!
Joey: Oh-Wha-Ho! What are you middle naming me for?! I left you a note!
Phoebe: So what?! That doesn’t give you the right to ditch me!
Joey: Hey, you can cancel plans with friends if there is the possibility for sex!
Ross: Phoebe he’s right, that is the rule.
Phoebe: I don’t accept this rule. When me make plans, I expect you to show up. Okay, I can’t just be a way to kill time ‘til you meet someone better! Y’know boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but this (Motions that their friendship) is for life!
Joey: Wow! I’m so sorry; I had no idea it would bother you this much.
Phoebe: Well, it does.
Joey: Okay, can I-can I make it up to you? Huh? I’m sorry. (They hug.) How about uh, dinner tomorrow night?! I’ll pay for myself!
Phoebe: Okay, you wore me down.
Ross: Hey Joe, while you’re over there how about another beer for the Ross-A-Tron?
Joey: The Ross—Is that back?!! (Chandler motions no.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel enters to find Chandler staring at another cheesecake box.]
Rachel: Hi!
Chandler: Another cheesecake came! They delivered it to the wrong address again!
Rachel: So just bring it back downstairs, what’s the problem?
Chandler: I can’t seem to say goodbye.
Rachel: Are you serious?! Chandler, we ate an entire cheesecake two days ago and you want more?
Chandler: Well I’ve forgotten what it tastes like okay?!
Rachel: It was cheesecake. It was fine. It had a buttery, crumbly, graham cracker crust, with a very rich yet light, cream cheese filling… (Pause) Wow! My whole mouth just filled with saliva!
Chandler: (closing the box) Y’know what? Forget it! We are just hungry! We have not had lunch! We are just light-headed! So let us go out and have lunch and forget about the cheesecake.
Rachel: Yeah and we’ll drop it off downstairs so that we’re not tempted.
Chandler: Good idea. Where do you want to go to lunch?
Rachel: Momma’s Little Bakery, Chicago, Illinois. (They exit with the cheesecake.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Joey are there. Joey is reading a newspaper.]
Joey: Awww! Mel Torme died.
Monica: Joey, that paper’s like a year old!
Joey: Aw! Does that mean the Sam Goody’s sale is over?!
Ross: (entering) Hey.
Joey: Hey.
Monica: Hey.
Ross: So I finally heard back from Aunt Sheryl and apparently it wasn’t a mistake. Ahh, there’s-there’s limited seating in the hall.
Monica: Limited seating?! (Screechingly) I am just one tiny person!
Ross: Well yeah, but she doesn’t know that. I mean, the last time she saw you-you would’ve turned one of those little wedding chairs into kindling.
Monica: (disgusted) Limited seating! Oh, that is such a lame excuse! That’s not the reason she’s not inviting me!
Ross: Oh what’s the big deal?! I wasn’t even invited to the ceremony, just the reception. And-and y’know what? If it makes you feel any better, Joan and I will just make an appearance and then, and then we’ll-we’ll leave early as a sign of protest.
Monica: Joan?
Ross: Yeah, Joan Tedeski my date. She’s an assistant professor in the Linguistics department. Tall, very beautiful, and despite what some people say, not broad backed!
Monica: Wait a minute, you got Ross Gellar and guest?! I wasn’t invited and you got "and guest?!"
Joey: Uh-uh, excuse me, I do have to interrupt on Ross’s behalf. I-I think the rule applies here y’know, since she has a chance to get on broad back…
Ross: (interrupting) Not broad backed!
Monica: Wait a minute, y’know, you’re bringing me!
Ross: What? I can’t cancel on Joan!
Monica: Why not?!
Ross: Bec—Did you not hear me?! She’s an assistant professor in the Linguistics department, okay? They’re wild! Why do you want to come anyway?
Monica: Because! She’s my cousin. I mean, we grew up together! We’re family y’know? Well that’s important to me.
Ross: Okay, all right, I’ll take you. I’ll go call Joan. (Does so.)
Joey: Aww that’s nice. Family should be there, huh? This is her wedding, happiest day of her life.
Monica: (laughs) We’ll see.
[Scene: The Lobby of Chandler and Rachel’s building, Chandler and Rachel are returning from lunch.]
Chandler: Well, thank you for lunch.
Rachel: What? Wait a minute, I didn’t pay, I thought you paid!
Chandler: So apparently we just don’t pay for food anymore. (Rachel laughs then Chandler notices something.) Do you see what I see?
Rachel: (gasps) Its still there! (The cheesecake they returned to Mrs. Braverman is still lying in front of her door.)
Chandler: Mrs. Braverman must be out. (They move closer to it.)
Rachel: She could be out of town. Maybe she’ll be gone for months.
Chandler: By then, the cheesecake may have gone bad. We don’t want her to come back to bad cheesecake.
Rachel: No that could kill her.
Chandler: Well, we don’t want that.
Rachel: No so we’re protecting her.
Chandler: But we should take it.
Rachel: But we should move quick.
Chandler: Why?
Rachel: Because I think I just heard her moving around in there.
Chandler: Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! (Rachel grabs the cheesecake and they take off upstairs.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are entering. As Phoebe is sitting down, she recognizes someone sitting at the counter.]
Phoebe: (gasps) (whispering) Oh my God! That’s David!
Monica: David who?
Phoebe: David the scientist guy, David that I was in love with, David who went to Russia and broke my heart David!
David: (noticing Phoebe) Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh, you say someone’s name enough, they turn around.
David: Phoebe?
Phoebe: David! (He kisses her cheek) What-what are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be in Russia?
David: Yeah, I’m just, I’m just in town for a conference. Umm, God you look phenomenal!
Phoebe: Well… Yeah. You look great too. Did you get a haircut?
David: Yeah. Well I-I got like thirty of them.
Phoebe: Yeah.
David: Umm, look I-I-I got a confession to make…
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
David: Uh, I-I-I was hoping to run into you here. I didn’t know whether I should call or not, y’know I-I was only in town for a few days. And y’know, I didn’t want to intrude on your life or-or anything like that, but I-I really wanted to see you and—but I didn’t know if you wanted to see me.
Phoebe: Well, of course I would want to see you. I…I think about you all the time.
David: Really? Because I think about you all the time.
Phoebe: Really?
David: I mean, there’s a statue in Minsk…
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
David: That reminds me of you so much, I mean umm, it-it’s actually of Lenin. But, y’know at certain angles…
Phoebe: Yeah.
David: Umm, anyway…Do you want to have dinner tonight?
Phoebe: (excited) Yes! Oh no!
David: (disappointed) Oh. Uh, what?
Phoebe: I can’t. I can’t believe I have plans, I can’t. Can you do it tomorrow night though?
David: Uh no, I have to go in a few hours. I have to be on the red-eye. Well listen, y’know, next time you’re in Minsk umm…
Monica: Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?
Phoebe: Uh-huh. (They go over and talk.)
Monica: What are you doing?
Phoebe: Well, I have plans with Joey tonight.
Monica: So! He’ll understand!
Phoebe: No he won’t. And that’s not even the point! Monica, I made a whole speech about you do not cancel plans with friends! And now y’know what? Just because, potentially, the love of my life comes back from Russia just for one night, I-I should change my beliefs?! I should change beliefs! No! No! No, if I don’t have my principles, I don’t have anything!
Monica: God, you are so strong.
Phoebe: Or! I should rush through dinner with Joey and I can meet David at 9:00!
Commercial Break
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Chandler are eating the cheesecake right out of the box.]
Rachel: (taking a bite) Oh my God! That is so good!
Chandler: I’m full, and yet I know if I stop eating this, I’ll regret it.
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Hey!
Joey: (seeing what they’re doing) What do you got there?
Rachel: Oh it’s umm, it’s tofu cake. Do you want some? (He makes a disgusted noise and heads for his room, Chandler follows him in.)
Chandler: What are you doing tonight?
Joey: Huh? Uh… (He starts taking off his pants.)
Chandler: Dude! Dude! (Motions that Joey should pull up his pants.)
Joey: Oh! (Pulls up his pants.) Sorry. Uh, I’ve got those plans with Phoebe, why?
Chandler: Oh really? Uh, Monica said she had a date at 9:00.
Joey: What?! Tonight?!
Chandler: That’s what Monica said.
Joey: After she gave me that big speech?! She goes and makes a date with a guy on the same night she has plans with me? I think she’s trying to pull a fast one on Big Daddy!
[Scene: Cousin Frannie’s Wedding Reception, Monica and Ross are entering and finding their table.]
Ross: Oh here, I think this is us. (Reading the name cards.) Yeah.
Monica: Limited seating my ass. Let’s see who made the cut. (To the couple sitting to her right.) Hi!
The Wedding Guest: Hi!
Monica: I’m Monica Gellar. Who do you know the bride and groom?
The Wedding Guest: Oh, I used to work with Frannie.
Monica: Used to work with her. Used to! I’m a relative and I didn’t get invited! A blood relative! Blood!!
Ross: (To Monica) Stop saying, "Blood" to strangers.
Monica: (to the couple on her left) So, how about you huh? How do you know the happy couple?
The Second Guest: We went to college with both of them and now we live next door.
Monica: Okay, you’re fine.
[Scene: Iridium Restaurant, Phoebe and Joey are looking at the menus as the waiter comes to take their order.]
The Waiter: Hey!
Phoebe: Hey!
The Waiter: Are you guys ready?
Phoebe: Yes! I will have the green salad, umm the house salad, and water’s fine.
The Waiter: Okay.
Phoebe: Okay.
The Waiter: (To Joey) And for you sir?
Joey: Yeah, this slow roasted salmon, just how slow are we talkin’ here?
The Waiter: It’s uh, it’s already been roasted.
Joey: Ohh, then no. Maybe I should hear those specials again.
Phoebe: Oh Joey, we’ve heard the specials three times! Okay? There’s prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. (She grabs his menu and hands it to the waiter.)
The Waiter: Actually we’re out of the lobster ravioli. (Putting Joey’s menu under his arm.)
Joey: Oh well, that changes everything! (Grabs his menu and starts looking at it again. The waiter leaves.) Y’know what Pheebs?
Phoebe: Huh?
Joey: You were right before. I mean, friends are so important.
Phoebe: (checking her watch) Yeah, I’m very wise. I know.
Joey: Y’know-y’know what I really want?
Phoebe: What?
Joey: Is to have a long, long talk. Y’know? Get Joey out on the open road and really open him up.
The Waiter: (returning) Any progress?
Joey: Yes! I will have the lobster ravioli.
Phoebe: God Joey, this is taking forever!
Joey: What’s the rush? What?
Phoebe: W-w—I just—it’s that—I have—y’know I have-I have an appointment. And it’s very important.
Joey: Whoa-whoa, what is it?
Phoebe: Well… It’s a date.
Joey: A date?! No, no Pheebs you-you must be mistaken, because I know you wouldn’t schedule a date on the same night you have plans with a friend!
Phoebe: Come on Joey, don’t make me feel badly about this.
Joey: No, I’m gonna!! That’s right! Yeah, you made me feel really guilty about goin’ out with that girl! Like-like-like I did something terrible to you! And now Pheebs, you’re doing the same thing!
Phoebe: That—It’s not the same thing! This is totally different! This is with David! Remember David, the scientist guy? Okay, he’s very special to me.
Joey: Okay, well my girl from the other night was special. She was a scientist too!
Phoebe: She was?
Joey: Well, she graduated from high school!
Phoebe: Okay, whatever. Y’know what? I don’t have time have time to convince you because he’s only here for four hours, and I’m gonna go see him! (Gets up and leaves.)
Joey: Fine!
Phoebe: Yeah!
Joey: Fine!
Phoebe: Yeah! (She exits.)
Joey: (to the waiter) What are you still doin’ here?! I told you, lobster ravioli!
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Phoebe is running up to meet David.]
Phoebe: Hey!
David: Hey! Oh, I was just about to leave. I-I-I-I didn’t think you were coming.
Phoebe: Oh, I wouldn’t miss this.
David: Well, I’m very glad you’re here. (Kisses her hand.)
Phoebe: Oh, you’re such a gentleman. (Grabs his arm.) Come on! We’re going to my place! (Drags him off to her place.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating the cheesecake and Chandler enters and catches her in the act.]
Chandler: Are you eating the cheesecake without me?!
Rachel: (with a mouthful) Mm-mmm. (Nods no.)
Chandler: I will give you a hundred dollars to whistle right now. (She tries to whistle and blows little chunks of cheesecake out of her mouth.) How can you eat the cheesecake without me?!
Rachel: Oh, what are you going to do?! Are you gonna go run tell Monica?! Are you gonna tell Joey?! No! Because then you will have to tell them what we did! We are desert stealers! We are living outside the law!
Chandler: Y’know what? I don’t trust you with this cake anymore! And I got it first, and I’m takin’ it back! (Grabs the cheesecake and heads for his apartment.)
Rachel: What?! What?!
Chandler: Oh yes!
Rachel: Wait a minute!
Chandler: Oh yes!
Rachel: Oh no-no-no-no-no, no you don’t!
[Cut to Chandler and Monica’s as they enter.]
Chandler: Oh yes! Oh yes!
Rachel: You think I trust you with it?! No! We’re gonna split it! You take half and I take half!
Chandler: Well that’s not fair, you’ve already had some!
Rachel: What? Oh, well then y’know what? I think Monica would be very interested to know that you called her cheesecake dry and mealy.
Chandler: What do we use to split it?
Rachel: Okay! (Grabs a knife and cuts it in half.) All right, pick a half.
Chandler: (examining the cake) Okay well, this side looks bigger. Uh… There’s more crust on this side. Y’know? So, maybe if I measured…
Rachel: Oh for God sake just pick a piece!
Chandler: All right, I’ll pick that one. (Points.)
Rachel: That’s also the smaller piece. (Puts the piece onto a plate.) Okay, there you go. Enjoy your half my friend, but that is it. No sharing. No switching, and don’t come crying to me if you eat your piece to fast. (As she’s saying that she is backing out the door, when she finishes she turns around to return to her place, stumbles and drops the cheesecake on the floor.) Oh!!!!
Chandler: (gloatingly and holding his piece) Ohhh!
Rachel: Okay, you gotta give me some of your piece.
Chandler: Oh-ho-ho-ho-no! No! No switching! No sharing, and don’t come crying to me! Ha-ha-ha! I may just sit here and have my cake all day! Just sit here in the hallway and eat my… (Rachel knocks the plate from his hand and it falls on the floor. That process leaves just the forkful Chandler has, Rachel starts to go after that little bit and Chandler retreats into his apartment.)
[Scene: Cousin Frannie’s Wedding Reception, Monica and Ross are sitting at the table, alone as a woman approaches.]
The Woman: Ross, sweetheart!
Ross: Oh, hey Aunt Millie.
Aunt Millie: Isn’t it a beautiful wedding?!
Ross: Yes, yes it is. It’s uh… (Aunt Millie uses this opportunity to grab Ross and kiss him on the lips. After she leaves Ross quickly wipes his mouth with a napkin.) Every time on the lips! Why?! Why on lips?!
(Cousin Frannie and her husband enter.)
Monica: Here’s Frannie. Hmm, won’t she be happy to see me? (Starts to get up and great Frannie.)
Ross: Now wait a minute, you be nice! All right? I didn’t bring you here so you can ambush her.
Monica: Frannie was the one who found your Playboys and showed them to mom.
Ross: That bitch! (He gets up and they go over to ambush Frannie. Monica taps on Frannie’s shoulder.)
Frannie: (turning around) Monica! What…
Monica: Am I doing here? Why? Surprised to see me? Ross brought me. How do you like that?!
Ross: (to Frannie) Hi Frannie, congratulations.
Monica: You invite my brother, you invite my whole family, and not me?! Why?! What—Why wouldn’t you want me at your wedding? What could I have possibly done?! (Frannie’s husband walks up.) Stuart!
Frannie: I believe you know my husband.
(Monica is shocked into silence.)
Ross: So it’s really a question of who could you have possibly done.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, David has a cab waiting to take him to the airport and he’s saying goodbye to Phoebe.]
David: Oh, I hate this but I-I-I have to go. I-I can’t miss my flight.
Phoebe: Are you sure? I’ll bet there’s another flight to Minsk in like…
David: July. Umm, (He speaks Russian.)
Phoebe: That’s really beautiful. What does it mean?
David: Please, clean my beakers. I don’t get out of the lab much.
Phoebe: That’s good. I got to admit, I thought it was something else.
David: Yeah, I… Well I really actually wanted to say umm, that, but um, I figured I probably shouldn’t because y’know, I…have to leave.
Phoebe: You’re right! You’re right. Don’t say it.
David: I-I do though.
Phoebe: I do too. (They kiss.)
David: Bye Phoebe. (He gets in and the cab drives off. Joey walks up and witnesses that event.)
Phoebe: (seeing him) Okay, now’s not the time Joey. All right? You can yell at me tomorrow.
Joey: No! No! No Pheebs, I’m not gonna yell at you. I just y’know, started thinking about you and David and I…remember how bummed you were the first time he left. And I just… Oh Pheebs, come here. (He hugs her.) Are you okay?
Phoebe: No I’m not okay. The only guy I’ve ever been crazy about has gone to Minsk and I may never…I may never see him again. (Crying.)
Joey: Hey, y’know you could always visit him.
Phoebe: Oh right, like they’re gonna let me have a passport.
Joey: Anything I can do? Whatever you need.
Phoebe: Well—But—Now, if-if you can achieve positronic distillation of sub-atomic particles y’know before he does, then he can come back. (They hug again.)
Joey: I can give it a shot.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Rachel are on their knees with forks trying to salvage what they can of the cheesecake off of the floor.]
Rachel: Oh! Yay! Look! There’s a piece that doesn’t have floor on it!
Chandler: Stick to your side!
Rachel: Hey, come on now!
(Joey finishes climbing the stairs and sees them. Chandler and Rachel both stop and look up at him. Joey sits down on the step.)
Joey: (pulls out a fork) All right, what are we havin’? (Starts digging in.)
Ending Credits
[Scene: Cousin Frannie’s Wedding Reception, Ross and Monica are at the door and about to leave.]
Monica: Oh wait I forgot my wrap.
Ross: What? Oh, okay. Wait here. (Goes to get it, but before he gets there Aunt Millie sits down on it forcing him to pull it out from behind her which gets her attention.)
Aunt Millie: Hi sweetie! Are you leaving?
Ross: Well…
Aunt Millie: Give us a kiss. Come on! Come on!
(Ross hesitates then leans down trying to get her to kiss his cheek, but she moves his head around and kisses him on the lips again.)
Ross: Why?! Why on the lips?! (He wipes his mouth on Monica’s wrap and walks off, leaving Aunt Millie stunned.)

End


哦. 嗯.
嗨.
嗨,你应该尝尝这块奶酪蛋糕.
哦,我的牙不能吃太甜的东西,你知道么?
喔,天啊,这奶油...
哦天啊,这是我吃过的最好的奶酪蛋糕,
你从哪儿搞来的?
它就放在门口.我回家之前有人送来的.
钱德,这不是你的地址.
这是楼下布里曼太太的地址.
小偷.
我?不?我打开盒子前没看到这个,而且
你打开了以后就不能还回去了.
为什么?
因为它太美味了.
钱德,你偷了这个奶酪蛋糕,
这是不对的.
不不不!不会有事的,他们还会免费
再给布里曼太太送一个来,
所以是双赢!
唯一倒霉的是那家蛋糕制造商,
妈妈的小面包房.
我感觉糟透了,我真是个大烂人.
哦,对不起,你说什么?
中文字幕:Stone Cold
http://www.topcmm.com/friends/
subtitle : jon (jon7103@baubau.com)
好吧,我得走了,今天有很多工作要做.
你知道我在昏迷吗?
今天,他们要对我进行测试,
会发现我大脑没有死亡.
那么...
哈哈哈,小聪明先生,
只是我的角色没有脑死亡.
嘿,那么菲比,我们晚上照计划进行?
当然!
我们8点见.
好.
哦,8点干什么?
哦,我和乔伊打算一起去吃晚饭.
我们每月都要一起
讨论一下你们其他的几个人.
喔,我倒不知道这个!
我可以说你今天看起来很可爱吗?
很是时候.
谢谢.
哦!那明天你是不是
租辆车我们一起去?
你在说什么啊?
芬妮表妹的婚礼,明天晚上啊.
你被邀请了?!
没.
天啊,真是难以置信!
我是说我知道妈妈和爸爸被邀请了,
但我以为就只有他们!
7岁到9岁那段时间,
芬妮和我简直是亲密无间!
哦,也许从9岁开始,芬妮交了些新朋友.
好的,也许是出了什么差错,
我给谢丽姨妈打个电话,好吗?
也许你的邀请信在邮寄过程中被弄丢了.
对,你给他打电话,告诉她
当我们还是小孩的时候,
她心爱的小芬妮好几次试图扒我的衣服,
而且如果我不制止她的话,
也许今天就根本没有什么婚礼可去.
你知道吗,她也试图扒过我的衣服.
我经常扒我表妹格琳的衣服.
约瑟夫.弗朗西斯.崔比昂尼,
你回家了没有?!!
嗯,我想他还在外面.出什么事了?
好,我告诉你瑞秋.卡伦.格林,
我和乔伊今晚约好了,
可他给我留了这个条子.
"菲比,我去不了,有个约会,
稍晚再跟你说.老爸."
老爸?
哦,这是我们相互起的外号.
嘿,你知道吗,有个外号你们从不知道?
The Ross-A-Tron!
嘿!
哦!可回来了,约瑟夫.弗朗西斯!
喔喔喔!叫我中间的名字干什么?
我给你留了便条!
那又怎样?!这不是你放我鸽子的理由!
嘿,如果有机会和姑娘上床的话,
你是可以取消和朋友的计划的!
菲比,他是对的,这是规矩.
不,我承认这规矩.
我们订了计划,我就希望你能出现.
我可不是你找不到更好对象的时候,
用来消磨时间的!
你知道吗,男女朋友来来去去,
可这是你的生活!
喔!我很抱歉.
我没想到会让你这么不高兴.
这让我很不高兴.
好吧,我们讲和好吗?
嗯?我很抱歉.
这样吧,明天的晚餐?!我自己付钱!
好吧,你说服我了.
嘿乔伊,你过去把另一瓶啤酒
递给Ross-A-Tron?
那个罗莎?回来了?!!
嗨!
又送来一块奶酪蛋糕!
他们又送错地址了!
把它放到楼下就行了,这又什么问题?
我舍不得跟它们说再见.
当真?!钱德,我们两天前刚吃掉
整整一块奶酪蛋糕,现在你还想要?
我已经忘了它的味道了,行了吧?!
它是个奶酪蛋糕.它很不错.
它有奶油、面包屑和饼干硬壳.
还有很多奶油干酪在里面...
喔!我嘴里都是口水!
你知道怎么回事吗?
我们只是饿了,我们还没吃午饭!
我们有点饿晕了!
所以我们出去吃一顿,
忘了这个奶酪蛋糕吧.
对,我们把它放到楼下,
这样我们就不会受诱惑了.
好主意.你打算到哪儿去吃午饭?
伊利诺斯州芝加哥,妈妈的小面包房.
啊! 梅尔.托梅死了.
乔伊,这张报纸是一年以前的!
啊!就是说萨姆糖果店的大减价也结束了?
嗨.
嗨.
嗨.
我已经问了谢丽姨妈,
显然不是出了差错.
嗯,大厅里的座位很狭小.
小椅子?!
我只是个很瘦的人!
是啊,不过她并不知道.
我是说,上次她见到你的样子,
你能把婚礼上的小椅子压成劈柴.
小椅子!真是个可笑的借口!
这不是她不邀请我的理由!
哦这没什么!我也没被邀请出席结婚典礼,
只是参加招待会.
而且你知道么,这可能会让你感觉舒服点,
琼安和我会露个面,
然后我-我们提前离开以表示对他们的抗议.
琼安?
对,现在和我约会的那个琼安.特德斯基,
她是语言学系的助教.
高个子,很漂亮,
而且不象其他人说的那样,后背不宽!
等一等,他们还允许你再带个同伴去?!
我没被邀请而你却可以带一个人去?!
哦-哦,对不起,我得为罗斯说句话.
我-我认为规矩应该是这样,
如果他有机会宽后背的...
后背不宽!
等等,你得带我去!
什么?我不能取消和琼安的计划!
为什么?!
因为...你难道刚才没听我说吗?!
她是语言学系的助教,对吧?
他们很野!为什么你一定要去呢?
因为她是我表妹.
我是说,我们一起长大的!
我们是一个家庭,
你知道么,这对我很重要.
好吧.我带你去,我得给琼安打电话.
哦,这很不错么.
是该全家一起去的,对吧?
她的婚礼,一生中最幸福的日子.
走着瞧吧.
好吧,谢谢你的午餐.
什么?等等,我没付钱,我以为你付了!
那么,显然我们开始不再为食物付钱了.
你看到了吗?
它还在那里!
布里曼夫人一定是出门了.
她说不定在外地,也许要过几个月再回来.
到时候,奶酪蛋糕就全坏了.
我们不想让她回来看到坏掉的蛋糕.
这会比杀了她还让她难受.
对,我们不希望那样.
所以我们要保护她.
我们就要把它拿走.
但是我们动作要快.
为什么?
因为我听到她在附近走动.
快!快!快!快!快!快!快!快!快!
哦天啊!那是戴维!
哪个戴维?
那个科学家戴维,那个我爱上的,
后来跑到俄国,让我心碎的戴维!
哦天啊!
哦,你要是总念一个人的名字,
他就会出现.
菲比?
戴维!
你在这儿干什么?
你不是在俄国吗?
是啊, 我只是到这里开会.
嗯,天啊,你看上去真不一般!
好的...没错.
你看上去也很好.
你剪过头发了?
是啊.大概剪过30多次.
是啊.
嗯,我-我得承认...
嗯.
嗯,我-我希望能在这儿见到你.
我不知道我是不是应该给你打电话,
你知道,我在这个城市只待几天.
而且,我不想干扰你的生活或者
做类似的事情
但是我真的很想见到你,
但我不知道,你是否愿意再见到我.
我当然愿意见到你.
我每时每刻都在想着你.
真的?
因为我每时每刻也都在想着你.
真的?
我是说,在明斯克有个雕像...
嗯.
它总是让我想起你,我的意思是嗯,
它实际上是列宁雕像.
但是,你知道,在某些角度看...
对.
嗯,你今天晚上能和我一起吃晚饭吗?
能!
哦,不能!
哦,嗯,怎么了?
我不能.难以置信
我有事要办,我不能.
明天晚上行吗?
哦不,过几个小时我就得走了.我时间很紧.
好吧听着,下次你去明斯克,嗯...
菲比,我能跟你说句话吗?
嗯.
你在干什么?
我今天晚上和乔伊约好了.
那又怎么样,他会理解的!
不,他不会.
而且这不是重点!
莫妮卡,我刚刚讲了一通
"你不能取消和朋友的计划"!
而且你知道吗?
只是因为,我今生的爱人从俄国回来,
而且只有一晚,
我就应该改变我的原则吗?!
我应该改变我的原则!
不!不!不,如果我不坚持原则,
我就什么都没有了!
天啊,你真坚强.
或者!我可以抓紧时间结束和乔伊的晚餐,
9点就去见戴维!
哦天啊!这太好吃了!
我已经饱了,但是我知道
我如果不接着吃的话,我会后悔的.
嘿!你们吃什么呢?
哦,这个嗯,这是个豆腐蛋糕.
你来吃点?
今天晚上你打算干什么去?
哦? 嗯..
老兄! 老兄!
哦!对不起,
嗯,我和菲比约好了,怎么了?
真的?嗯,莫妮卡说她9点有约会.
什么?!今晚?!
莫妮卡是这么说的.
就在她教训了我一顿以后?!
她和我约好的这一晚
还和别人有约会?
我看她想跟老爸捣蛋!
这儿,我看这里是我们的位子.
对.
把我的屁股放在小椅子上.
让我看看都谁来了.
嗨!
嗨!
我是莫妮卡.盖勒
你怎么认识新娘和新郎的?
哦,我曾经和芬妮一起工作过.
曾经和她一起工作. 曾经!
我是她的亲戚却没有被邀请!
我们有血缘关系!血缘!!
别再对陌生人说"血"了.
那么,你呢?
你是怎么认识这一对的?
我们是他们俩的大学同学,
而且现在住在他们隔壁.
好,你没问题.
嗨!
嗨!
你们准备好点菜了?
对!我要绿色沙拉,嗯,
还有水就行了.
好的.
好的.
你呢,先生?
好,我要慢火烤鲑鱼,
能象我们点菜这么慢吗?
那个嗯,那个是已经烤好的.
哦,那就不要了.
也许我应该再听你念一遍特色菜.
哦乔伊,我们已经听过三遍特色菜了!
好吗? 有排骨,大马哈鱼,
还有非常特别的龙虾馄炖.
实际上我们的龙虾馄炖已经卖光了.
哦,那就一切都改变了!
你知道吗,菲比?
啊?
上次你是对的.我是说,朋友太重要了.
对,我很英明,我知道.
你知道-你知道我真正想要的是什么?
什么?
是长时间的的谈话.
知道吗?帮乔伊打开话匣子吧.
有什么进展吗?
对!我打算要龙虾馄炖.
天啊乔伊,你没完了!
着什么急啊?怎么了?
我只是..我有..我有个约会.
而且非常重要.
喔-喔, 是什么?
嗯...是个约会.
约会?! 不, 不 菲比, 你肯定是弄错了,
因为我知道你不会在和朋友约好
的同一天晚上,和别人订下约会!
拜托,乔伊,别让我对这件事不舒服了。
不,我正打算这样!!
这就对了!对,我上次和姑娘出去,
你让我很内疚!
就象我做了什么天大的对不起你的事一样!
现在,菲比,你在做同样的事!
这个?这根本不一样!这根本就是两码事!
这个是和戴维!记得戴维吗,
那个科学家?对,他对我来说很特别.
好,那天晚上我的那个姑娘也很特别.
她也是科学家!
她也是?
对,她高中都毕业了!
好吧,无所谓,你打算怎么办?
我没有时间说服你,
因为他在这儿只能再待四个小时了,
我得去见他!
好!
对!
好!
对!
你还在这干什么?!
我已经告诉你了,龙虾馄炖!
嗨!
嗨! 哦, 我正要走呢.
我-我以为你不会来了呢.
哦,我不会的.
好的,你来了我非常的高兴.
哦,你真是个绅士.
来吧!我们到我住的地方去!
你趁我不在的时候,偷吃奶酪蛋糕了?!
嗯-嗯.
你现在吹个口哨我就给你100美元.
你怎么能你趁我不在,偷吃奶酪蛋糕?!
哦,你打算怎么办?!
你打算去告诉莫妮卡?!
你打算去告诉乔伊?!不!
因为你就得告诉他们我们干了些什么!
我们是没被抓到的小偷!
我们是法律的漏网之鱼!
你知道么?
我不会再让你和单独这蛋糕在一起!
我先把它拿走,一会儿我把它送回来!
什么?! 什么?!
哦对! 哦对!
哦 不-不-不-不-不, 不你不能!
哦对! 哦对!
你以为我会相信你?!
不!我们把它切开!一人一半!
这不公平,你已经先吃了一点!
什么?哦,好,你知道我怎么办?
我想莫妮卡很愿意知道,
你说她做的蛋糕干得象粉末一样.
我们用什么来切?
好!
好的,切成两半.
好,这边看起来大一点.
嗯...这边脆壳多一点.
你知道?那么,让我量一下...
看在上帝面上赶紧挑一块!
好吧,我要这块.
那仍然是小的那块.
好,给你.
享用你那一半吧,我的朋友.
不过到此为止,不再分,不再换,
而且如果你吃的太快,别来哭着求我.
啊!!!!
啊!
好吧,你得把你那块分我一点.
哦哈哈哈!不!不再分!不再换,
而且别来哭着求我!哈哈哈!
也许我应该坐在这儿,
一整天都用来吃我的蛋糕
就坐在这个走廊里,吃我的...
罗斯,亲爱的!
哦,嗨,米丽姨妈.
是不是个漂亮的婚礼?!
是的,当然是.这是嗯...
每次都亲嘴唇!
为什么?!为什么是嘴唇?!
芬妮在那儿.
哼,看到我她会高兴么?
等等,你乖一点!
好么?我带你来不是让你给她难堪的.
当初发现你《花花公子》杂志
给妈妈看的就是芬妮.
这个婊子!
莫妮卡! 怎么...
我怎么来了?为什么?
看到我很吃惊?
罗斯带我来的.喜欢吗?!
嗨芬妮,祝贺你.
你邀请了我哥哥,你邀请了我全家,
唯独没有我?!为什么?!
为什么?为什么你不愿在婚礼上看到我?
你来这儿可能会干什么?!
斯图尔特!
我相信你认识我丈夫.
看来真正的问题是,
你来这儿可能会干谁.
哦,虽然我不愿意,
但我得走了,我不能误了飞机.
一定要走吗?
我打赌一定还有别的航班去明斯克,
比如在...
七月. 嗯,
这真是很美.什么意思?
请清洗我的烧杯.
实验室外的我不会什么.
这很好.我得承认,我以为是别的话,
对,我...我真正想说的是,嗯
但是,我想我不能说,因为我要走了.
没错!没错!别说了.
我想,可是...
我也想.
再见,菲比.
现在不是时候,乔伊.
好吗?你可以明天再骂我.
不!不!不菲比,我不会骂你的.
我刚刚,开始想到你和戴维的事
我...想起他第一次离去的时候你多么伤心.
我只是...哦菲比,过来.
你还好吗?
不,我不好.
唯一能让我为之疯狂的人去了明斯克...
也许我永远...我永远都看不到他了.
嘿,你可以经常去找他.
对,就象他们能给我护照似的.
我能为你做点什么?只要是你需要的.
是吗?可是?现在,
如果你能把电子从原子中分解出来,
如果他能完成这个,那他就能回来.
我可以试试.
哦!耶!看!这儿有一块没粘到地上!
吃你那一边的!
嘿,拜托!
好吧,我们还剩什么?
哦,等等,我忘了我的围巾.
什么? 哦,好的,在这儿等一下.
嘿亲爱的!你要走了?
是啊...
来个吻别.来啊!来啊!
为什么?!为什么老是嘴唇?!



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