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老友记第八季811 The One With Ross’ Big Step Forward

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811 The One With Ross’ Big Step Forward

[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is looking around the shop as Phoebe returns from getting some more coffee.]
Rachel: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Yeah?
Rachel: Look at that guy by the window, wow!
Phoebe: He’s awfully short and I think he’s talking to himself. And to be completely honest, he’s not that good in bed.
Rachel: Oh, what is wrong with me lately? I mean it’s like every guy I see—I mean look here. (Points behind them) Look at that guy for example, I mean normally that’s not someone I would-would be attracted too, but right now, with the way I’m feeling, all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack.
Phoebe: Wait a second! This is about the forth month of your pregnancy right?
Rachel: Yeah.
Phoebe: This is completely normal, around the forth month your hormones start going crazy.
Rachel: Really?! So this has happened to you?
Phoebe: Oh absolutely yeah! Oh and keep in mind now, I was carrying triplets so in, y’know, medical terms I was-I was thrice as randy.
Rachel: Wow! This explains so much! Last weekend, I went from store to store sitting on Santa’s lap.
Phoebe: Yeah. Yeah, I remember trying to steal a cardboard cutout of Evander Holyfield from a Foot Locker.
Rachel: Ah.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Rachel: Well, y’know what? I go see my doctor tomorrow I’ll ask her about this. Maybe she can give me a pill or something.
Phoebe: Yeah. Yeah, that’s what you need a good…pill.
Opening Credits
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are there as Mona enters.]
Mona: Hey! (To Joey) Hey!
Ross: Hi!
Mona: Hi! Look! I got our pictures developed from Rockefeller Center.
Ross: Oh great! Hey-hey Joey, do you want to check out pictures of me and Mona ice skating?
Joey: Oh uh, ordinarily I would love too, but I am just swamped right now. (Brushes something off of his shirt and looks around, but doesn’t move from his chair.)
Ross: Hey where-where are the pictures that creepy pretzel vendor took of us together?
Mona: Oh yeah, probably at the end. (Flips to the end.) Oh my God! He only took pictures of my breasts!
Joey: I’m missin’ picture time?! (Jumps over to look, Ross glares at him and he retreats.)
Phoebe: (sitting down next to Ross) Y’know she has a face Ross!
Mona: Okay. Okay, here’s a good one of us.
Ross: Wow! That is a good one! Wow, it looks like a, like a holiday card y’know, with the tree in the middle and the skaters and the snow.
Mona: Y’know, every year I say I’m gonna send out holiday cards and I never do it. Do you wanna, do you wanna send this one out together?
Ross: (pause) Together? Like-like to people?
Mona: Yeah, y’know. Happy holidays from Mona and Ross. It’ll be cute, okay?
Ross: Okay. (Not happy about it.)
Mona: Oh, I gotta get to work. So call me later?
Ross: Uh sure, sure.
Mona: Bye guys.
Phoebe: Bye.
(Mona exits.)
Joey: (To Ross) Congratulations! You just got married!
Ross: I know. Can you believe that?
Phoebe: Wait, I’m-I’m sorry. What’s the big deal about a holiday card?
Ross: Married couples send out cards, families send out cards, people who have been dating for a couple of months do not send out cards! What-what is she crazy?!
Joey: Hey-hey-hey, hey that’s your wife you’re talking about!
[Scene: Chandler’s Office, his boss Doug is entering Monica is there as well.]
Doug: Bing! Ho! And the Bing-ette!
Chandler: Honey, you remember my boss Doug right?
Monica: Yes, hi.
Doug: Hi. So good news, the divorce is final. I signed the papers this A.M.
Chandler: I didn’t know you and Carol were getting divorced, I’m sorry.
Doug: Sorry? Finally chewed my leg out of that bear trap. Hey, congratulations to you guys though!
Monica: No leg chewing for us sir.
Doug: Oh well, give it time. So the divorce, the marriage, we’ve got a lot to celebrate. How about we all go out to dinner tomorrow night?
Monica: I can’t think of anything we’re doing. (Quietly) Why can’t I think of anything we’re doing?
Doug: Tomorrow night it is then, I should be out of court by six. They keep throwing these sexual harassment cases at me and I keep knocking them out of the park!
Monica: Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow! (Doug exits.) Just so you know, we’re not seeing him tomorrow. (Chandler wonders why.) I-I cannot spend another evening with that man. Do you remember how he behaved at our wedding?
Chandler: No.
Monica: That’s because he wasn’t invited because of the way he behaved at our engagement party.
Chandler: Oh yeah. Boy, urine cuts right through an ice sculpture doesn’t it?
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, there’s a knock on the door and he opens it to Mona.]
Mona: Hi!
Ross: Hey!
Mona: Hey, I went by the photo shop, take a look, here is a mockup of our card. What do you think?
Ross: Huh. Wow, this is great.
Mona: Now, do you think it should say, "Love Ross and Mona?"
Ross: Well, we-we haven’t said that to each other yet, but I guess its okay to say it to other people.
Mona: How many did you want? I’m getting a hundred.
Ross: A hundred?! Well, I-I guess I’ll take a—Mona, uh…I-I’m not sure about the whole uh, card thing.
Mona: Really? Why not?
Ross: Sending out a holiday card, together, I mean I just don’t know if we’re really quite there yet.
Mona: Oh y’know, I didn’t think of it that way. You’re right. You’re right. So, can I ask you a question?
Ross: Yeah.
Mona: Where are we?
Ross: Huh.
Mona: Y’know, like where are we? Where is this relationship going?
Ross: Hmm…
Mona: I mean I love spending time with you, y’know I just—I hope we’re moving forward. I mean, we should probably talk about that. Don’t you think?
(Pause.)
Ross: Let’s do the card!
Mona: What?
Ross: The card! I think we’re there!
Mona: Okay. I—But I think we should still have this conversation.
Ross: Really?! I mean, even with the card?
[Scene: Rachel’s Doctor’s Office, she is waiting for her doctor as a nurse enters.]
Nurse: Hi!
Rachel: Hi!
Nurse: Just so you know, Dr. Long can’t be here today, she was called to the hospital, so Dr. Schiff will be seeing you.
Rachel: Oh, okay. Hey, can I ask you a question? Was it me, or-or was the guy who took my blood sample really cute? Y’know who I’m talking about, bald haircut, hairy fingers… (Stops when she realizes it was her.)
Dr. Schiff: (entering) Hi Rachel? I’m Dr. Schiff. (By the way, he’s an attractive man.)
Rachel: Yes, you are.
Dr. Schiff: So, how’s it going?
Rachel: Oh, really, really good. But enough about me, come on! Where-where are you from? What do you do?
Dr. Schiff: I’m a doctor.
Rachel: Right! Right! I-I actually meant in your spare time, do you cook? Do you ski? Or do you just hang out with your wife or girlfriend?
Dr. Schiff: Uh, I don’t have a wife or girlfriend, but I do like to ski.
Rachel: Oh, I love to ski! How amazing is this?!
Dr. Schiff: So, are you experiencing any discomfort?
Rachel: No. I’m very comfortable.
Dr. Schiff: Any painful gas?
Rachel: No! Shoot, Dr. Schiff what kind of question is that?!
Dr. Schiff: Okay then, would you like to lie down on the table?
Rachel: Well would you like me to lie down on the table?
Dr. Schiff: I’m sorry, is there something going on here?
Rachel: Do you feel it too?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Hi.
Phoebe: Oh hey! So, how did your doctor’s appointment go?
Rachel: Well, let’s see. Uh, they gave me cute doctor today and in the middle of the exam I put my pinky in his chin dimple.
Phoebe: Oh my God.
Monica: Why did you do that?
Phoebe: Okay, remember that little problem I was having during my forth month of pregnancy?
Monica: Oh yeah, the Evander Holyfield phase. Oh man you were so hard up you practically came on to me.
Phoebe: You wish.
Monica: Hey, I could’ve had you if I wanted you.
Phoebe: Oh yeah? Come and get it.
Rachel: Okay, even this is turning me on!
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Oh hey! Hey Ross! Hey how’s it, how’s it going with you and Mona? Are you guys still together?
Ross: Oh yeah, yeah we’re moving forward. You’ll be getting our card!
Monica: You and Mona are doing a holiday card together?
Ross: Yeah, we’re not just doing a card! Y’know, she-she also wants to have the conversation about where the relationship is going.
Phoebe: Ugh! Women!
Ross: I know! I know! Why do you guys need to have this conversation?! Huh? I mean no self-respecting man would ask a woman, "So, where is this going?"
Rachel: Uh Ross? You asked me that.
Ross: Hey! You were a closed book! Okay? I’m not a mind reader! Besides, I hate those conversations. I’m horrible at them. Really! Maybe-maybe I need kind of a gesture. Y’know, something that says we’re moving forward without having to talk about it.
Monica: Like asking her to move in with you?
Ross: Smaller than that.
Monica: Making her a mixed tape?
Ross: Uh, bigger than that.
Phoebe: Give her a key to your apartment.
Ross: Whoa-hello! We were closer with the mixed tape.
Monica: All right. Have you said, "I love you?" You could say, I love you.
Ross: Yeah I-I don’t-I don’t think I’m quite there yet, but I could say I looove spending time with you.
Phoebe: No, we hate that.
Monica: That is a slap in the face.
Ross: Forget it. I-I—Y’know what? I’ll just have the conversation. I’ll just say I like things the way they are, and hope for the best. What do you think Rach?
Rachel: I think, if it was a little colder in here I could see your nipples through that sweater.
[Scene: Chandler’s Office, Doug is entering.]
Doug: Bing! We’re all set for tonight, 8 o’clock.
Chandler: Oh uh, as it turns out, we can’t do it. Monica has to work.
Doug: Oh, my ex-wife didn’t work, unless you call turning into her mother work. Fine. Tomorrow night then.
Chandler: Oh uh well tomorrow’s no good for her either.
Doug: Oh? Why not?
Chandler: It’s the semi-finals…of her…botchy ball tournament.
Doug: What’s going on Bing? Does uh, your wife have a problem with me or something?
Chandler: Well now-now you’re just talking crazy.
Doug: So why can’t the three of us go out together?
Chandler: Because uh…we-we…we split up. Monica and I split up. Hold me.
Doug: Good God Bing I…well I can’t say I’m altogether surprised, I saw the way she looked at you, and there was no love there. And the way she looked at me, pure lust.
Chandler: Y’know what would really help me through this tough time is choking something. Can I choke ya?
Doug: Bing my boy, we’re gonna get you over this. Now here’s the plan, grab your coat, we’re going to a strip club.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, Monica would freak. (Doug looks at him.) But to hell with that bitch.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is getting Mona some coffee.]
Ross: Here we go. Mona umm, I think it’s time we-we had a conversation about-about where things are with us.
Mona: Yeah, I-I think I suggested that.
Ross: Aw, we-we are so…(Motions that they’re connected.) So umm, well I-I-I like you and I-I love umm, y’know hanging out with you. And I mean-I’m having a lot of fun. (He pauses and thinks there might but more, but decides there isn’t.)
Mona: Okay.
Ross: I mean, there’s no point in spending time with someone if-if it’s just fun. It’s gotta be, it’s gotta be going somewhere right? So where-where is it going? (Pause) Ah! That’s-that’s the real question. And-and the answer is…is it’s going somewhere…fun. Now I-I know what you’re thinking, fun was fine for you like ten years ago y’know, but you’re-you’re not getting any younger. No I mean—No not you, not you, you—you are getting younger. I mean—you-you look like you’re getting younger by the second—What’s your secret?
Mona: I’m sorry, so umm, so where are we?
Ross: Well, well to sum up, we’re having fun, you look young.
Mona: Okay…
Ross: But that’s not enough. So… So…here’s a key to my apartment. (Hands her his key.)
Mona: Really?!
Ross: Really.
Mona: You don’t think this is too fast.
(Ross groans no.)
Commercial Break
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is telling Rachel and Monica about yet another mistake he’s made with a woman.]
Rachel: You gave her a key to your apartment?!
Ross: Not just a key, I gave her the only key! I am now a homeless person in a very serious relationship.
Phoebe: (entering with some guy) Hey. Ooh Ross! How’d the conversation go?
Ross: Oh great, I live on the street.
Phoebe: Where?! (Ross exits.)
Rachel: Hey!
Phoebe: Hi! Okay, Monica, Rachel, this is my friend Roger.
Roger: Hey everybody.
Monica: Hi Roger.
Phoebe: So umm, I’m gonna get us some drinks. (To Rachel) Would you help me out?
Rachel: Yeah. (They go into the kitchen.)
Phoebe: Umm, he’s here to have sex with you.
Rachel: What?
Phoebe: You’re welcome.
Rachel: Phoebe no!
Phoebe: It’s okay, he’s a virgin.
Monica: Rachel umm, I was just talking to this guy and I think he’ll have sex with you.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay let’s leave these two alone.
Rachel: No! I do not care what my hormones are doing, I am not going to just do it with some random guy!
Phoebe: Fine! Then you tell Roger because he was really looking forward to this! (Phoebe exits.)
[Scene: A Strip Club, Doug and Chandler are there.]
Doug: Oh Bing, look at those twin sisters dancing together. Let me buy you a lap dance with those girls. Huh?
Chandler: Oh that’s all right sir, and that’s just one girl.
Doug: Bing—What’s this?! (Grabs his hand.)
Chandler: It’s a hand. It’s a thing you use as a Jack and Coke holder.
Doug: No, it’s a wedding ring. You gotta get rid of it. We’re gonna go to the East River right now and throw it in there!
Chandler: Oh no-no-no!
Doug: Oh yeah-yeah-yeah, y’know I did it and I felt a hell of a lot better and if you whip it just right you might hit a seagull in the head.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, a locksmith has finished changing the locks on Ross’s door.]
Ross: Okay, and oh I’m gonna need a bunch of extra keys. Apparently I give them away for no reason at all.
Mona: (entering) Hey Ross, what’s going on? You changing the lock?
Ross: No. That guy is.
Mona: I don’t understand. You-you give me a key to your apartment and then you change the lock.
Locksmith: Good luck buddy. (Exits.)
Mona: Umm, I-I thought we were moving forward and now you’re-you’re sending me all these mixed signals. What are you trying to tell me?
Ross: I’m trying to tell you I made you a mix tape.
Mona: What?
Ross: I love you!
Mona: Ohh! (Hugs him.) And I love spending time with you. (Ross isn’t happy.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is eating dinner as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Hi honey I’m home.
Monica: From the tequila factory?
Chandler: It was awful. To get out of going to dinner with Doug I told him that you and I split up. So then he took me to all these strip clubs and sleazy bars, and then when I wouldn’t give him my wedding ring, he threw a soda can at a bird!
Monica: Come here. I can breath throw my mouth.
Chandler: Y’know what the worse part was? I got to see what my life would be like without you. It was like It’s a Wonderful Life with lap dances. Please promise that you will never leave me, that we will grow old together, and be with each other for the rest of our lives.
Monica: I promise. Hey, speaking of together, how about we send out a holiday card this year?
Chandler: Ooh, I don’t know if we’re there yet.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is on the phone.]
Rachel: Yes. Hi, I’d like to order a pizza. Okay, can I ask you a question? Is-is the cute blond guy delivering tonight? Very Ambocrombie & Fitch. (Joey enters.) I’ll call you back.
Joey: Who was that?
Rachel: It’s just the pizza place.
Joey: You hung up on the pizza place? I don’t hang up on your friends.
Rachel: I’m sorry honey, I’m just having a, having a rough day.
Joey: Oh, what’s wrong?
Rachel: Oh you really, you really just don’t want to hear about it.
Joey: Then why did I ask?
Rachel: Okay, it’s just—and this is really embarrassing—but lately with this whole pregnancy thing I’m just finding myself…how do I put this umm, erotically charged.
Joey: Is that college talk for horny?
Rachel: Yeah. So y’know, I have all of these feelings and I don’t know what to do about them, because I can’t date like a normal person, which is fine because I don’t need a relationship, I mean all I really want is one great night. Just sex, y’know? No strings attached, no relationship, just with someone that I feel comfortable with and who knows what he’s doing. For just one great night, I mean is that really so…hard…to find. (Looks at Joey.) So how was your day?
Joey: Good, I uh, I saw a pretty big pigeon.
Rachel: Well, I gotta get up early and it’s almost seven o’clock.
Joey: Yeah, I gotta, I gotta go to my room to.
Rachel: Okay, good night!
Joey: Good night. (They both enter their rooms.)
(Pause.)
Joey: (entering) I can’t do it!
Rachel: (entering) I didn’t ask you to do it!
Joey: You’re Rachel!
Rachel: You’re Joey!
Joey: You’re my friend!
Rachel: Right back at ya!
Joey: But plus it would be wrong and weird and-and-and bad.
Rachel: And so bad. I don’t even know what you’re talking about because I didn’t ask you to do anything!
Joey: I know!
(Pause.)
Joey: Do you wanna do it?
Rachel: No!
Joey: All right, me neither! I was just testing you!
Rachel: That’s the end of this conversation!
Joey: This conversation never happened!
Rachel: Never happened! Good night!
Joey: Good night!
(They both go into their rooms and after a little while Rachel pokes her head into the living room.)
Joey: Get back in there! (Rachel re-enters her room and closes the door.)
Closing Credits
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is there as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hi. Listen, I’m sorry about that whole thing with Roger. It really wasn’t right, and I, and I want to make it up to you, so umm, I brought you something that I think you’ll really enjoy. (Goes into the hallway and returns carrying the Evander Holyfield cutout.) Now, this is just a loan. Okay? I’m gonna, I’m gonna want him back. So… (Looks at him longingly) I’m gonna go now. (Exits.) (Pause) (Entering) I’m sorry, I thought I could do it and I can’t! (She grabs the cutout and exits for good.)
End


嗨.
嗨,你认为怎么样?
新发型?
项链?
衣服?
靴子?
靴子!
是的!当然了,比我平时买的靴子贵了一点, 嗯...
比房租还贵.
哦,天哪.
我知道.
我得为衣食发愁了.
我很抱歉,但它们实在迷人.
而且,那个售货员看我的眼神就像我买不起它似的。
这才是你想买的主要理由吧.
- 嗨.
- 嗨.
哦,天哪.
哦, Monica. 这些鞋真有型!
当然,也不看看谁买的。
是的,嗯,但可惜我们正要把它退了.
你要退了这靴子?!
小点声! 它们会听见的!
亲爱的,我们别退,好么?
我是指,我知道买它太奢侈,但你同时也会天天欣赏.
除此之外,
我爱听恭维.
你可曾有过什么东西,美丽到人人都想拥有吗?
我有你.
干得好。我留下这靴子了.
F*R*I*E*N*D*S
810: Monica的靴子
Chinese Sitcom Site
http://www.cnsitcom.com
好的,我爱你...
我会整日和你玩耍.
你怎么可以让他对你的胯部这样说话?
他是在和小宝宝说.
噢,好吧!
好, '因为他说:我等不及听你第一句话."
我想, "这是个骗局.",
好... 嗯,我得走了.
- 回见.
- 好.
- 再见.
- 再见
- 哦, hey, Rach, 听着-- hi.
- Hi.
嗯,你能否帮我个忙?我曾和我妹妹说起过。
她知道你在Ralph Lauren上班--
算了吧-- 没门-- 我再也不把Ralph Lauren卖给监狱了,太浪费了.
不不,不是她,是我的最小妹妹, Deena--
她确是有志于时尚,想和些专家谈谈,好给她些建议.
她可以和我的主管谈谈.
不,不,不,她想和你谈.
真的?
哦,老天!
我是专家.
那好,你愿见她么?
我愿意.
让她到我办公室.
谢谢。你会喜欢她的.
她是Tribbiani家的孩子里最聪明的.
你知道SATs(相当于美国的高考)吗?
是.
她通过了.
Hey, Ross,
Ben是不是在史密斯菲尔德日校上学?
是的,怎么了?
Sting(英国歌星)有个儿子也在那.
是,我知道。他和Ben一个班.
你为何知道这个却从来不说?
还老跟我们讲愚蠢的恐龙故事。
好,再也不提恐龙了.
我能说有关化石的话题吗?
"Sting的儿子,七岁大,还有他的照片.
你在读什么?绑架曼哈顿私人学校校童的指南?
不,是纽约杂志。有篇文章写本市最好的学校.
嗯,你对Sting了解多少?
事实上我们从未碰过面.
阿哈,好.
真倒霉,我很想去看他周五晚上的演唱会,但票已售謦.
我知道!
你为何不与他见面....要点票!
若你拿到2张,我便带你去.
嗯,事实上,我明日去接Ben,可能他在那儿.
那快去!
噢,你真走运,明天就能见到sting了.
你有孩子就为这个.
- Hey, 伙计们.
- Hey.
Hi, Monica.
Hi, 靴子.
看看, Chandler, 我几乎物尽其用了。
它们很实用.
看,这双靴子能搭配裙子和裤子...
你还可以穿得更短些,站在街角招揽生意.
哇,它们真漂亮.
它们真令我受伤!
什么?!
作鞋的家伙肯定跟脚有仇,恨不得杀了它们。
好,把它们给我,我数年来不知脚在何处.
我不能,我为它们花了大钱并告诉Chandler我会整日穿它们。我不能把它们送人.
嗯,那去退货.
我也不能.
鞋底已磨损,里面也粘了我的血.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Hey,我从学校接了Ben.
Oh.
我不认为你已做彻底.
我把他送到Carol家了.
还有,我觉得门票的事没戏了.
噢,不!为什么?
嗯,因为Ben和Sting的儿子有矛盾.
怎么会?
明显的, Sting儿子拿ben妈妈是女同性恋开玩笑
等等,但是,Ross,他们之间的矛盾你可以解决.
让他们做朋友.
Phoebe, 你不能强迫小孩交朋友.
你行的。给他们些石头,把他们关进婴儿围栏.
婴儿围栏?Ben已七岁.
你孩子七岁了?!
看起来可不象.
求求你,一定要搞到票.
对不起, Pheebs.我做不到.
不,你可以的.
Sting自己说的.
什么?
Ross 可以!
听着, 菲比-- 对不起,但只是--
Ross 可以!
Phoebe, 我...
Ross 可以。拿到我的门票!
Ross 可以给我门票!
她来了-- 未来时尚之星.
噢, Joey,我几乎已--
我老妹Deena!
好的,hi, Deena. 很高兴见你.
Hi. 谢谢你能见我.
Joey告诉我你的很多事.
这令她兴奋.
好,我会让你们两个时... 进入正题.
好... 好...
那好, Deena. 我们来谈谈时尚的不同领域
先从设计说起吧--
但你需先到一定程度--
还是说说销售吧,你会在旅行中接触到...
我不关心时尚.
我怀孕了,
我知道你也是,所以你该帮我.
这就是行销.
怎么了?
噢,不,没什么... 我只是打呵欠.
噢,别忘记,我的办公室聚会是今晚.
亲爱的,我们不是真的要去吧?
甜心,我知道你不喜欢我的办公室聚会
但你可以穿那双新靴子.
听着,每朵云
都有柔软的皮衬底.
我今晚不想穿这双靴子.
为什么?
是因为,我担心你们老板看到这种高档货以后,会觉得你的薪水太高了.
或者被你助理看到了,她会跟你要求加薪.
你认为我在靴子价格公司上班?
我要穿套装
那鞋子和它们不搭配.
可是你说过,这靴子和任何服饰都能搭配.
好吧,如果你非让我穿,那我就穿.
我先回屋打扮一下.
好.
Ooh-wee!
我的靴子里正在开圣诞晚会!
我不能去那.
我不能跟他说.
亲爱的,一切将无事.
他曾超级支持我.
若他有一丝不爽,
这个三明治就可以派上用场.
谢谢.
Hey! 我的时尚妹妹来了!
怎么了?
宝贝,你为何不坐下?
Deena有事想告诉你.
Oh. 发... 发生了什么?
是有关老妈?她病了?
老爸的心脏病犯了?
那是个三明治?
Joe,咱爸咱妈都好.
那是个三明治?
Joey, 有些事你应该知道.
Deena?
我怀孕了.
什么?!
现在-- 给他三明治!
嗯,明显的,那是个错误.
你不经性行为怎可怀孕.
Joe, 我尝试像你一样直到25岁才做.
什么?! Deena...
闭嘴!
我不敢相信!
你是好孩子!
上过大学!
双倍时间!
谁干的好事?
Bobby Corso.
但他是个好人.
我很喜欢他.
他很搞笑.
你为搞笑献身?
Deena,
若他搞笑,你只管笑就罢了!
我会马上回来,你站在这儿.
为什么?你去哪?
我现在不想见你.
Wow.
我知道.
Oh, 是你, Ben.
Phoebe阿姨你来这干么?
嗯,我听说你和一个同学发生问题。
所以我想来帮你们,让你们平心静气解决.
现在,告诉我那孩子名字
Sting的儿子.
Jack? 我恨他。他是个变态.
Ben,有些人外表看起来像变态
但他们有名人老爸.
我得走了.
我的朋友Doug 在那等我.
他是你的朋友.
打扰了.
何事我可效劳?
当然。我在找Jack的父母.
你和哪位学生一起?
啊哈,我和Ben.
你是他的妈妈之一?
是的.
我是个同性恋.
敢跟父母承认这一点并非易事.
嗯, hi,我是Jenny Boone.
我是这的新老师.
我只见过你的爱人Carol.
啊哈,那么我就是Susan.
好.
你在找Jack的父母以解决他和Ben的问题?
我也认为家长们该在一起好好谈谈.
对! 那就快干吧!
这... 这听起来不错。我们会坐下谈.
就我,我的爱人,和sting.
嗯,那... 我该如何同他们接触?
他们的号码在联系单上.
我能要一张么?
因为Carol弄丢了.
她向来都这么马虎.
但当她在床上时,却总是集中精神.
这个聚会不赖吧.
是啊,我甚至不知道还有舞会.
那真是个搞笑的惊奇.
我没见到任何车子.或许我们可以走路。
不,不,我们不能走路.
好像15区有地铁,走.
Hey, 你认为我们可否在这搭地铁
若我们爬过下水道?
怎么了?
我不能走,知道么?
好吧,买这双靴子是个大错误.
怎么了?
好吧,你对了行了吧。我不该买它.
它每次都弄伤我脚趾.
所以我对.
对的感觉......
有点奇怪的不安.
我们怎么回家?
也许你可以背着我?
上来.
好的,给我一秒,我得先脱鞋.
亲爱的,我知你很痛
但我有些许勃起.
你可曾担心你和宝宝走,他跌倒?
是什么大学, Deena?
Oh,我的老天.
Bobby?
Hi, Deena.
高兴见到你。
Joey, 你干嘛?
干应干之事.
亲密爱人,
我们在这里成为...
Joey, 太狂野了.
我和神说话时别打断我.
我们到哪了?
好,你, Deena, 愿和这男的...
不!
Oh, 你要和他.
不,我不.
你不该这么说.
是的,我就是.
我听到"我愿意."
我们已经搞定一半了.
那好,你...
好, Joey ,够了.
听着,这个伟大的婚礼是不合法的?
他们没结婚证也没证婚人。
新郎也只有一只鞋.
是的,他脱了另一只拿它砸我.
Well,我该做什么?
你该做的是认识到他们已成年,有能力做决定.
不,他们不.
他们蠢到不会避孕。.
Hey.
避孕套并非总有用.
对么?
嗯... 我们是那种什么不用的人.
拜托,小子,你就不能向着我说?
Wow. 这地方真不可思议.
Sting的笔...
他给Phoebe的.
噢,秘密入口.
Hi.
Hi.
我是Trudy.你必是Ben的妈妈.
否则我来这干什么?
- 请坐.
- 啊-哈.
我知道Jack和Ben最近有些矛盾.
对.
我相信两边皆有责任。
但我听说是Ben有些怪怪的.
嗯,对不起。Jack爸爸不加入讨论?
嗯,很抱歉他爸没空.
嗯-嗯.
那我们可重订时间,
周五晚,8:00左右怎么样?
哦,恐怕不行。我老公那时正在开演唱会.
演唱会,对.
这真令我们进退两难
因为我演唱会前后都很忙碌。
他在此期间也显然没空.
那么,我想我们现在得谈谈Jack和Ben.
除非...
除非,嗯... 我很愿意去那演唱会.
当然,在那期间我会一直考虑孩子们的问题.
你为门票而来?
谢谢。四张就好.
我不会给那些利用孩子的家长演唱会的门票.
Oh, 那太好了.
Ben并非我小孩.
听着,我已按了无声警报的按钮.
警察随时会来.
警察乐队... 来这?
(Sting以前是警察乐队的主唱)
乐队重组了? Ooh.
Okay,已经走过十个区了,
就剩五个区了.
Oh,等等,停,停.
Oh, 抱歉.
你需要休息么?
那是我的靴子,不过是棕色的,我能否靠近点看清价钱?
我从这都可见它.
它会花你一个丈夫.
那好,我很抱歉,我想我可在路上慢行.
给我靴子.
我没拿你的靴子.
我也没拿,它在哪?
你为何不检查一下马鞍,我也可以趁机吃点草.
我们回去拿它.
亲爱的,你真要再穿那鞋?
我再也不想穿它.
我只想有机会说再见.
你可以向这双棕色的说再见.
- 好,好吧.
- 好.
再见,靴子.
等等,半价?!
Joey, 他们不结婚不代表一切皆完,或许他们有计划。.
Oh, oh, 听听他们的计划.
现在,Deena和Bobby,你们对未来有何打算?
嗯...
我对我的乐队期望值很高.
你说对了,此人真搞笑.
Hey, 等等.
我想,当你告诉陌生人你要当个演员时,他们一定也会笑话你.
来吧, Bobby ,对我说一些你乐队的事。
就是我和老友Rooster.
乐队叫休克疯子.
真的?
Deena,
若你有小孩你就应该结婚.
既使是和Bobby.
伙计,这并非赞美.
Joey, 我就知道你不会支持我.
那么,你该怎么做? 你准备生下孩子自己养大? 没老公?
你不能当单身母亲.
你将毁了自己.
嗯,对不起,我也毁了自己?
不,不,不,这和你不同.
你既强壮又合群.
不像有些笨小孩不知道自己在干什么.
对不起?
孕妇们一个接一个来好么.
我只是想你好.
强迫她嫁给Bobby会令她快乐?
有可能.
那么,休克疯子唱何种音乐...?
嗯,算了吧.
Joey... 我对发生的这些怕的要死.
但我真的认为我能处理,我只是需要些帮助.
而且Bobby将任何时刻来此.
我会.
回答你之前的问题
我们唱rap.
听着, Rachel已经告诉我,你是怎么对待她的.
你为什么不能用同样的态度对待我呢?
因为... 因为...
因为你是我小妹妹.
你是我大哥哥.
我指,你是我世间最爱.
我不怕告诉父母.
只怕告诉你.
嗯,我也怕他们,但还好.
Joey, 我只是不能承受怀着孩子看你发火.
我希望他有个舅舅.
我的孩子会有Joey舅舅么?
当然他会有Joey舅舅.
一切都会好的.
我指,就算我们不结婚孩子也有足够的爱.
不是都来自父母.
对.
也来自他舅舅.
也来自你.
Bobby,我们何不到这边来,让他们单独呆一段?
来吧.
靠,你有病啊?
你会为我发狂.
我搞到Sting演唱会的门票了!
Oh,上帝,我爱死你了!
从何得来?
嗯,只能说...
Ross 可以!
座位在哪??
中间的包厢.
你认为那儿和Sting妻子或他的任何一个家人的距离有50码远么?
是.
那没有触犯法律,我会在那!
牛过论坛·missingyou翻译

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