Mike: Look, Jennifer. It's not I don't want to go with you Saturday, just that I'd got that pair
of commitment. Emm, I'm donating a kidney. Ah, Look, don't tell anybody. Well, 'cause
everybody want one. Look, If due falls I'll let you know. Ok. Bye bye.
Jason: You turn down the date with Jennifer Miller?
Carol: Jennifer Wonderbangs Miller?
Mike: Ok. My traction of a woman is not entirely based on physical beauty.
Carol: Ah...They gonna be stupid too.
Maggie: Mike. I thought you like Jennifer.
Mike: Yeah. But she wants me to do some I never do in a million years.
Carol: What? Read a book?
Mike: No. Worse! She wants me to go to her sister's wedding, go ballroom dancing.
Maggie: As God as I witness I cannot make my baby do this!
Mike: OK, fine! You guys go hen laugh for Mike Seaver likes to fool himself in front of 200
Carol: Ahh, you used to make much bigger crowd.
Jason: Mike, The advantages to ballroom dancing you know you actually get to touch your
partner, hand to hand, cheek to cheek.
"everything is, everything is..."
Maggie: Oh, Jason.
Jason: And if you're a real cool guy, and you learn all the moves, Mike, was a right guy, a right
mood can absolutely make the right woman--melt her!
Carol: There're more moves but they cried more terrible.
Jason: Not so ...Observe. The French dip.
Carol: There're more moves they'll cry greedy!
Mike: Yeah, Jennifer, Mike! Look, the due fall through. Oh, I don't know the pair is well grown
in the kidney market. Yeah, so...you want me for the wedding? Yeah I don't bring the gravy,
oh, never mind, it's dancing term. Yeah, ok, bye-bye
Jason: All right, Mike.
Mike: All right, dad, I gonna make her melt. I've never seen Wonderbangs melt before. Wait
a minute, I don't even know how to dance.
Jason: That's all right. No problem. Come on here, we'll give you a try. Not with me, with your
Maggie: If we try to do, we should try... Glide, right...
Ben: That's enigmatic man can hardly take so much.
Jason: Something wrong, Ben?
Ben: The new coach's stupid son Ranny. The kid tricked me 3 times with the stick. Next
practice I just gonna him to be sucking the park.
Maggie: Now I don't want to hear that, Benny. If you have a problem with one of your
teammates, fighting is not the answer. Ben, what are you doing?
Ben: Pumping look. Hi, look, scruting nator ... One, two, one, two...
Jason: Now, wait a minute. Did you try telling the coach that Ranny tricked you?
Ben: The coach saw the whole thing.
Jason: Now come on. You mean to tell me the coach actually taught Ranny to play dirty?
Ben: He tells all the kids to play dirty. That's why he hates me. It's common knowledge. I'm
Maggie: Well, that it, Ben. I was afraid this hockey thing was going to be too rough, Jason, I
think he'd quit the team.
Jason: Oh, Maggie, it's not fair to Ben. Just because the coach that lying, you can make him
quit? I'll go down the next practice, and I'll meet the guy. I’ll talk to him all-over. Is that Ok
with you, Ben?
Ben: Yes, Thanks Dad. I want you to keep the coach busy talking and I'll go skating over
Coach: Come on guys...This is hockey, not a square dance. I wanna see some hard attack
down there. Remember, that's crash on skate does not mean you can kick.
Jason: Hello, I'm Jason Seaver.
Coach: Coach Bragten. How are you?
Jason: That's my boy Ben,No.7
Coach: Ya, he can use another 40 pounds.
Jason: No problem, I can give him some hormone ... right away.
Coach: Good,I am glad to see the parents get involved. Kally, Kally, you should pass the goal
off, it gonna cost you.
Jason: Sure, make him skating skill go up after practice.
Kally: Could you change for 5, coach?
Coach: What are you talking about change, you missed over man ,that is 5.Take your fine.
Jason: You’re fining these kids?
Coach: Hey! That's not the first time offenders.
Jason: It's better there ‘re allowed a death penalty.
Coach: Yeah! Carmeilone, You caught out the check? My wife and I are out for honeymoon.
Jason: Did you marry Wan Graski?
Coach: You're calling me homosexual?
Jason: But I do think your coaching method a little offensive.
Coach: Hey! I never have losing a season body!
Jason: Oh, congratulations, body! The importance for kids here is they learn something. They
have no fun! Not win win win at all costs!
Coach: That's how we lost Vietnam! You are a wimp, Seaver!
Jason: Oh, really? But, you know what you are?
Jason: You are taking a lot of suffering-mind angry, you're displacing it on these kids.
Coach: Haha, you sound like you have been some one of these worthy shrinks!
Jason: I'm one of them---worthy shrinks! I mean I'm a psychiatrist. And just because of your
Coach: Hey! Who you are calling self-absorbed, you got be your badab, pal.
Jason: Keep your hands off me, ok?
Ben: Hit him, dad!
Jason: Ben, it's not a mature people to do ...
Coach: I’m mature not...
Kids: Hit him, hit him...
Maggie: Glide, two, three...glide...glide, two, three, glide...
Carol: Mike, it's the fifth time in the last half hour!
Mike: Hey! I'm getting better!
Maggie: Good! Let's call it a night. I've got an article to finish.
Mike: Come on, Mum. The wedding’s tomorrow night. I need practice.
Maggie: But you are doing fine. Besides I got to change the bandages on my feet.
Mike: Come on! I barely broke the skin. You know, I often wonder, what is more beautiful, the
glaring stars in the clear night or this face?
Carol: You're clear enough that I'm not dancing with you.
Mike: Come on,carol, I'm gonna not step on your feet!
Carol: You stepped all over the mum's.
Mike: Carol! The woman has huge feet! It's between you and me, mum can't dance.
Carol: You are such a jerk!
Mike: You're right, I am. No. no, no, no, really I am. That's why I'm so incredibly fortunate to
have a sister, who's not just a sister, but...well, a saint, that's why I'll think I’ll call you “saint
sister”, Carol, no no, sister saint Carol, no, I got it, Carol saint sister, because after all Carol
Carol: Right, right, I’d rather lose a foot than listen to this.
Mike: Ok, ready? Glide, two, three...glide, two, three, glide...
Carol: Hey! It’s sort of neat.
Mike: Woo, woo, woo, Carol, what are you doing?
Mike: It's not an interpretive dancing, it's the ballroom dancing. The man is supposed to lead,
woman is supposed to be lame, ok?
Carol: Whatever you say!
Mike: Ok, try it again. Glide, two, three...glide...Oh, Carol, it's not lame, it's dance!
Carol: Just following your lead!
Mike: Spread your hand! Glide, two, three...glide, two, three...
Maggie: Mike, you're doing better!
Mike: Glide, two,...Well, I think I’ll be able to do it for the day, girl!
Maggie: Ben, how does it go?
Ben: It was unbelievable!
Jason: Hi, honey, I'm home.
Maggie: Jason, What happened?
Jason: Well, I guess you can say Coach Bradgen and I had a brief but meaningful exchange
Ben: In faith dam goddam good!
Mike: All right, dad!
Maggie: Jason, you mean you actually got a fight with a coach?
Jason: Well, he talked the swine at me, Maggie, I had to defend myself.
Maggie: Oh, I'd better got some ice for that eye.
Ben: Mike! You should see it! Kill....them....boo....fuck....He never had a chance!
Mike: Hey! We are here well at win side, hi, Jason, the animal Seaver, and along with the
set-win side is the animal's manager, Benjamin Boxy Seaver. Tell us, Boxy, how did you get
the chance blood-boiling for today's bomb?
Ben: I show them all the son’s poor card.…
Mike: Well, animal, what's the next?
Jason: Another one more...
Jason: And I'm going to retire to pursuit psychiatry full time.
Maggie: Jason, you gonna to make kids think fighting is a good thing.
Jason: You're right, I'll talk to them. Boys, what I did today is reprehensible. Fighting is not
the best way to solve your problems. I want that to be clear.
Maggie: Thank you.
Jason: Maggie, I just don’t think I should have spent another 24 hours making excuses for
what happened yesterday.
Maggie: You can't! Because there is no excuse! You fought like a Bob Barrian, and you
groaned like a child! You're baby Bob Barrian!
Jason: Oh, I see! So you are saying by that one incident I'm turning a sunny groom to a
Ben: Hi, honey, I'm home.
Maggie: Oh, my god!
Jason: Come Ben. Sit down! Tell us exactly what happened?
Ben: Right! I was sitting in the cafeteria eating my sauce fish steak, miced potatoes and
something looks like broccoli and astrature
Jason: Ben, the fight!
Ben: Yes! That's Ranny Brogton walked over and put me out of my chair.
Jason: Ranny Bragten?
Ben: Yeah! I said: "Ranny, I don't know what makes me sicker, you or this lunch?" Then I did
what Jason, the animal Seaver would have done. I gave him a knock sandwich.
Maggie: Well, animal, are you proud of yourself?
Jason: No, Maggie, I'm not proud. Ben! Is Ranny ok?
Ben: Yeah, Miss Finkel came in and broke it up. But tomorrow we’d high noon we meet on the
m bus. I know one of us makes falls to the Forth Grade!
Maggie: Oh, I've had enough of this. I'm going down to talk to Brogton myself.
Jason: No. no, Maggie, I start this whole thing, so, I guess that is time I showed, Ben, how a
real man fights his battles.
Ben: Oh, right, Dad!
Jason: Come on. Ben!
Coach: Let's see how often makes it happen in the corner, the left isn’t looking. What are you
doing? Ranny demonstrate.
Ranny: Ok. Dad.
Coach: Perfect! Now the game! We should make your follow what that punch.
Kally: Excuse me, coach? Isn't it a legal?
Coach: This is hockey, Kally, you want a legal? Gonna a law school.
Ben: Ok, so who makes the first blow?
Jason: I do. You just follow my lead.
Ben: I got it.
Ranny: Dad! Look who's here?
Coach: What are you doing here, Seaver. Your kid was cut from the team.
Jason: Oh, coach, I like to talk to you. I know I say some pretty insulting things the other day.
And today I have something else I like to say.
Coach: Might I suggest drab dead chicken ups....
Jason: Let me handle this…Mr.Brogton, I'm sorry. I came to apologize.
Coach: No way, Seaver, I owe you one. Come on! Come on!
Jason: Look, I didn't come here to fight. I didn't mean to say and do anything to offend you.
Coach: You said I was married to Wan Graski. And now I'm gonna to take it.
Jason: I didn't mean the thing seriously that you're married to Wan Graski.
Coach: So you’re saying we lived in sin?
Jason: I don't mean that you did have any relationship whatsoever …
Coach: Oh. I got to say now Wan is too good for me. Ahh?
Jason: I'm not talking...Look, you just look. If you just want another excuse to fight...
Coach: I don't need any excuses. Come on!
Rally: How come your dad isn’t rolling up the sleaves?
Ben: When he starts to fight muscles they should pop up by itself
Coach: It's rematch time Seaver, now you want me to start it, I'll start.
Jason: Ok! You want to hit me, go ahead, fine, hit me and not worried about me. And not
worry about you and these kids! If we cannot teach our children fighting is not the answer,
then we have failed as parents and human beings. So come on! You can hit me! Or you can
shake my hands. Choice’s yours.
Ben: No. Boot him, Dad!
Coach: Oh. come. show your kid you'll really make that.
Jason: Come on ,Ben, we're going home.
Maggie: Mike, you’d get to move on, Jennifer’s gonna be here in ten minutes.
Mike: Oh, my god! It's off to shower and shave.
Carol: Cheat another mouth already?
Mike: Glide, two, three...Glide, two, three...Glide, two, three... Oh. my god, I got a sit.
Carol: There is a god!
Maggie: Hi, Ben?
Ben: I need a drink!
Maggie: Jason, what happened?
Jason: Well, Coach Brogon called me a wimp, and he punched me as hard as he could at my
stomach. Now comes the ruff part of the evening.
Jason: Ben, Ben, milk is not the answer.
Ben: I can't believe you check it out today!
Jason: Now hold on ,right here, lots of kids got benefit for that.
Ben: Oh, sure, hit me.
Ben: I’m sure to make a point.
Jason: So we should fight with Coach Brighten today?
Ben: He slugged you, dad!
Jason: Yes, because he slugged me, I should slug him right back.
Ben: You got admit that there is certain logic to it.
Jason: Ben you remember how this whole thing got started?
Ben: Ranny tripped me!
Jason: Ranny tripped you. That's why we're down to talk to the coach and we were punching
each other on. Does that solve anything?
Ben: No, but it is fun for watch!
Jason: Yeah, and because I fought with that coach, the very next day, you and Ranny slugged
up...Did that solve anything?
Ben: No, That's why we've done that today!
Jason: Ok, suppose that I've punched him back, would that have solved anything?
Ben: Yeah, because he would have two broken arms, two broken legs, and finally he wouldn't
be coaching anymore.
Jason: No, he wouldn't be coaching anymore. But if he goes out and get a electric wheelchair
and show up in our front lane with a shot gun
Ben: .Two complete it back in ,dad..
Jason: Ben, we don't have an electric wheelchair.
Ben: No. We could get a machine gun. Bloom him broken away like a Ramble.
Jason: Ok. all right all right. Let's say we do that!
Ben: Oh,right! We won!
Jason: Think we've won! And then you're back at home and you take a shower and you're
getting ready for bed, suddenly an alarm comes. Mrs Brogton.
Ben: And wash hour?
Jason: No, in our living room. and she brings Ranny machine gun, and she wipes our mum
Jason: And then what’d we do?
Ben: For one thing we cook for ourselves, and...
Jason: come on. Ben, don't you want get even?
Ben: Yeah, we trade the Volvol and get a tank.
Jason: yeah, that's good, good, Ben! And I happened to get them taken and I blood over the
block, and I blow them over all the way.
Ben: Oh, right!
Jason: hi, wait, Ben, they booby trap the front line.
Ben: I'm sorry to hear that, dad.
Jason: En .So just I’m putting the away that tank and your father get blown to Connecticut.
Ben: Oh, my gosh!
Jason: So you see what I'm getting in.
Ben: Yeah, I've been life-long with Mike!
Jason: No no when you are brushing your teeth, Ranny's cousins came and took away our
Ben: They...they got my too? So I’m alone.
Jason: Will, isn't it? Just a few days ago, you had a family, a house, a Volvol, and now all you
got left and your descriptions to the boy's life magazine and a few faded memories. But
there's worth it, wasn't it? Just we didn't check it out. Oh, so we fight back. You remember
how did that start out again?
Ben: Ranny tripped me.
Jason: Oh, yes, Ranny. Well, we won’t handle worry anymore. Guess we found a pretty good
way to solve your problem.
Ben: No, you didn't Dad. It's a stupid way. I need another drink, want one?
Jason: Sure, set them up.
Ben: So I guess you really didn’t chicken out today?
Jason: No, I didn't chicken out Ben. I just feel the most of time fighting is not the answer. And
whenever possible we really must try to find the better way.
Ben: I'll drink to that. You know, dad?
Jason: What, Ben?
Ben: I'm glad you didn't get blown to Connecticut.
Jason: So am I.
Maggie: How you are doing, guys?
Ben: Pretty good, mum.
Carol: Ahh, that must be Jennifer. Poor girl, she's no idea what Mike gonna do to her feet
tonight. Jennifer, A neat dress. Come on in.
Jennifer: Thank you.
Carol: Oh my god, open-toed shoes.
Carol: Never mind.
Maggie: Hi, Jennifer, Don’t you look pretty good.
Maggie: Mike, you look so handsome.
Ben: Yeah! Just like the waiter in that fish restaurant.
Jennifer: Mike, I got terrible news. The wedding is off.
Jennifer: My sister cut her agreement confessional with her mate Mark. She broke the whole
Mike: After all I've been through. How did she do this to me?
Carol: We call him Mr. Sensitivity.
Mike: Jennifer what does this happen? I want you to go here and call your sister right now and
taught him sense that girl to go away their life for a while.
Jennifer: Mike, it's no use. It's all over.
Mike: I'm just asking you to call her.
Jennifer: I can't do that.
Mike: Why? Maybe she can marry somebody else.
Mike: Ok. ok. fine. Ok, come on.
Mike: Just come on.
Jennifer: I'm really not in the mood for this. Somebody gives me the phone.
Jason: Maggie, I think we might have created a monster!
Maggie: You look good at it, Ben.
Ben: I feel like having a new man after Coach Brogton got bloomed. Oh, here comes the
Coach .It is five last, I'll talk to his fans.
Jason: take it…take it…Hi, come on, your guys. Let’s get together here. First, let’s go. What
we gonna do?
Kids: That’s right, right!
Jason: How can I get a play?
Kids: In this fortunte to my banner.
Jason: And what if we don’t win?
Kids: You’ll kill us!
Jason: How do I mean then?
Kids: Precious sleeve!