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新视野大学英语读写教程第一册unit4-c Gestures




Section C


A smile is a strong sign of a friendly and open attitude and a willingness to communicate. It is a positive, silent sign sent with the hope the other person will smile back. When you smile, you show you have noticed the person in a positive way. The other person considers it a compliment(敬意)and will usually feel good. The result? That person will usually smile back.
Smiling does not mean you have to put on a false face or pretend you are happy all of the time. When you see someone you know, or would like to make contact with, smile. You are showing an open attitude to conversation.
You might not realize a closed position is the cause of many conversational problems. A common closed position is sitting with your arms and legs crossed and your hand covering your mouth or chin(下巴). This is often called the "thinking pose(姿势)". Ask yourself this question: Are you going to interrupt someone who appears to be deep in thought? This position gives off "stay away" signs and prevents your main "sign sender" (your mouth) from being seen by others looking for inviting conversational signs. Without these inviting signs, others will most likely stay away from you and look for someone who appears to be ready for contact.
To improve this habitual way of standing or sitting, start by keeping your hands away from your mouth, and keep your arms uncrossed. Crossed arms may show a rigid state of mind, not especially inviting to outside contact. They can also show a lack of patience, displeasure, or judgment — any of which would prevent people from opening up.
The open body position is most effective when you place yourself within communicating distance of the other person — that is, within about five feet. Take care, however, not to enter someone's "personal space" by getting too close, too soon.
Leaning(靠)forward a little while a person is talking shows your interest and shows you are listening to what the person is saying. By doing this, you are saying: I hear what you're saying, and I'm interested — keep talking! This is usually a compliment that will encourage him to continue talking.
Often people will lean back with their hands over their mouth, chin, or behind their head in the "thinking" pose. This position gives off signs of judgment, doubt, and lack of interest from the listener. Since most people do not feel comfortable when they think they are being judged, this leaning-back position serves to prevent the speaker from continuing. It's far better to lean forward a little in a relaxed and natural way.
In many cultures the most common form of first contact between two people is a handshake. This is true when meeting members of the same or opposite sex — and not just in work, but in social situations, too. In nearly every situation, a warm and firm handshake is a safe and positive way of showing an open and friendly attitude toward the people you meet.
Be the first to extend your hand in greeting. Couple this with a friendly "Hello", a nice smile, and your name and you have made the first step to open the lines of communication between you and another person.
The strongest gestures are sent through the eyes. Direct eye contact shows you are listening to the other person, and that you want to know about her.
Eye contact should be natural, not forced or overdone. Have short periods of eye contact while you watch other parts of the person's face — especially the mouth. When the person smiles, be sure to smile back. But always make an effort to return your gaze(注视)to the person’s eyes as she speaks. It is common to look up, down, and all around when speaking to others, and not have eye contact at all times.
Too much eye contact, especially if it is forced, can work against you. If you stare at a person, or leer(斜视)in a suspicious(怀疑的)way, the other person may feel uncomfortable and even suspicious about your intent(意图). A fixed stare can seem like aggressive behavior if it is a challenge as to who will look away first.

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    微笑是一种表明友好、坦诚态度,并乐于与人交流的强烈信号。 这是一种积极的、无声的信号,发出这个信号的人希望别人也以微笑回报。 如果你微笑,就表明你以一种积极的方式注意到了那个人。 对方就会把这看作一种友好的表示,并且通常会感到愉快。结果呢?那个人通常以微笑回报。
    微笑并不意味着你必须戴上一副假面具,或是假装一直都挺快乐。 当你看到某个你所认识的人,或是想和他接触,就微笑吧。你这是在表明你乐于与他交谈的明确态度。
    你也许没有意识到,封闭的姿态是使许多交谈出现问题的原因。 一种最常见的封闭的姿态就是双臂和双腿交叉坐着,手盖在嘴或下巴上。 这常被称为“深思姿势”。 问问你自己这个问题:你是否会去打扰一个看上去正处于沉思中的人? 这个姿势发出的信号是“离远点”,使得别人看不见你的主要“信号发送器(嘴)”,而他们正在寻找吸引其交谈的信号。 没有了这些吸引人交谈的信号,别人就很有可能远离你,而去寻找那些看上去愿意与人交往的人。
    要改变这种习惯性的站姿或坐姿,你应该一开始就别用手捂着你的嘴,并且别再把双臂交叉起来。 双臂交叉也许显露出一种严格死板心态,这尤其不会吸引别人的交往。 交叉双臂还会向人暗示你缺乏耐心、心中不快,或者正在判断别人,其任何一点都会阻止别人向你畅开胸怀。
    当你处于与他人交流的距离-即约五英尺以内时,采取开放的身体姿势,效果最佳。 但要注意,不要过快地靠别人太近,以免进入别人的“个人空间”。
    在别人说话时,你身体稍向前倾可以表明你的兴趣以及你在听他说话。 这样做你就是在告诉他:我听到了你说的话,而且我也很感兴趣 - 请往下说吧! 这种表示通常是对他的赞赏,会鼓励他继续说下去。
    人们常常把双手放在嘴上、下巴上或者脑后,身体后倾,作“思考”状。 这样的姿势发出的信号是听者正在评判、抱有怀疑,以及缺乏兴趣。 由于大多数人想到自己正受到他人评判会感到不舒服,因此这种身体后倾的姿势容易阻止说话者继续说下去。 而身体从容自然地稍向前倾,这种姿势就好多了。
    在许多文化环境里,两个人初次接触的最常见的方式就是握手。 无论遇到同性或是异性,在工作中或是在社交场合中,都是这样。 几乎在所有的场合中,热情而有力的握手都是一种安全而积极的做法,向你所遇到的人表明你开放、友好的态度。
    最有力的信号是由眼睛发出的。 直接的目光接触表明你在听别人说话,并且想了解她。
    目光的接触应该自然,而不要勉强或过度。 在你注视对方面部的其他部分--特别是嘴部时,与对方目光进行短暂的接触。 当其微笑时,你一定也要回报以微笑。但她说话的时候,你总尽量以注视她的眼睛相报。 而你自己对别人说话时,向上、向下、以及向四周看看,这都很平常,你不必一直保持与对方目光的接触。
    目光接触过多,特别是如果这些接触很勉强的话,会产生不利于你的效果。假如你盯住一个人看,或是用怀疑的目光斜视,对方也许会感到不舒服,甚至会怀疑你的意图。 目不转睛的盯视会被看成是一种攻击性的行为,仿佛双方是在比拼,看谁先把目光移开。

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