(中英)现代散文:雷峰塔下 Under Leifeng Pagoda
Under Leifeng Pagoda
雷峰塔下◎ Lu Yin
◎ 庐 隐Han! Don't you remember that April day? We strolled about under Leifeng Pagoda on a lush green meadow sparsely studded with yellow flowers and then sat down side by side on the downy grass. Then you picked a yellow flower to fix it onto the front of the purplish lined cambric blouse I was wearing. You stared at me shyly and timidly like you feared I might refuse to take it. I too was afraid to look you in the face and probably blushed. I knew my heart was beating fast and sweat seemed to be oozing from my forehead.
涵①！记得吧！我们徘徊在雷峰塔下，地上芊芊碧草，间杂着几朵黄花，我们并肩坐在那软绵的草上②。那时正是四月间的天气③，我穿的一件浅紫麻沙的夹衣，你采了一朵黄花插在我的衣襟上，你仿佛怕我拒绝，你羞涩而微怯的望着我④。那时我真不敢对你逼视，也许我的脸色变了，我只觉心脏急速的跳动，额际仿佛有些汗湿。While the evening sunlight was gilding the tip of the pagoda and shedding its rosy rays on the rippling water in the middle of the West Lake, pairs of young lovers were seen floating past on their rowboats. Han! You then plucked up enough courage to softly hold me by the hand — our first ever physical contact. But I felt as if a sharp sword had pierced me to the heart and tears began to trickle down my cheeks unconsciously. And you too were somewhat tremulous. Han! At that moment I somehow had a premonition that things would not go well with us on our life journey.
黄昏的落照，正射在塔尖，红霞漾射于湖心，轻舟兰桨，又有一双双情侣，在我们面前泛过。涵！你放大胆子，悄悄的握住我的手，——这是我们头一次的接触，可是我心里仿佛被利剑所穿，不知不觉落下泪来，你也似乎有些抖颤，涵！那时节我似乎已料到我们命运的多磨多难⑤！Suddenly, as was characteristic of the capricious weather of the Lake area, a dark cloud emerged from the foot of a mountain followed by the far-off rumble of thunder. We were at first too much seized with tender feelings to notice the unpleasant rain and wind. Soon we got wet as the rain pelted down in big drops. We had each brought an umbrella with us when we first arrived, but later, seeing it was fine, had left them in a boat.
山脚上忽涌起一朵黑云，远远的送过雷声，——湖上的天气，晴雨最是无凭，但我们凄恋着，忘记风雨无情的吹淋，顷刻间豆子般大的雨点，淋到我们的头上身上，我们来时原带着伞，但是后来看见天色晴朗，就放在船上了。The rain shower continued with wind and dust. We dashed to the boat, thoroughly drenched. All of a sudden I felt chilly and crouched down shivering. You covered me with a felt rug and sat close to me. Han! At that moment you still didn't dare to open your heart to me!
雨点夹着风沙，一直吹淋。我们拼命的跑到船上，彼此的衣裳都湿透了，我顿感到冷意，伏作一堆，还不禁抖颤，你将那垫的毡子，替我盖上，又紧紧的靠着我，涵！那时你还不敢对我表示什么⑥！It cleared up after dusk. We sat on a lakeside bench admiring the moon. You said to me in a whisper, "Under Leifeng Pagoda, that's where we'll leave a significant imprint of our life history!" I hang my head and kept silent. Han! Truly, I always doubted whether we would be happy together.
晚上依然是好天气，我们在湖边的椅子上坐着，看月。你悄悄对我说：“雷峰塔下，是我们生命史上一个大痕迹！”我低头不能说什么，涵！真的！我永远觉得我们没有幸福的可能！Oh, Han, that very night you made known to me your pent-up feelings. As a timid and weak girl, I just couldn't say no to you though I feared what the future might have in store for us.
唉！涵！就在那夜，你对我表明白你的心曲，我本是怯弱的人，我虽然恐惧着可怕的命运，但我无力拒绝你的爱意！After coming back from Leifeng Pagoda, we, as lovers, passed four difficult years. However, by the end of the four years, we finally came through and had every obstacle cleared away. We revisited this place in April and put up at the same hotel. The same dusk, the same Leifeng Pagoda. Han! This time we felt absolutely free. We embraced and held each other by the hand as much as we liked. How proud we were ...!
从雷峰塔下归来，一直四年间，我们是度着悲惨的恋念的生活。四年后，我们胜利了！一切的障碍，都在我们手里粉碎了。我们又在四月间来到这里，而且我们还是住在那所旅馆，还是在黄昏的时候，到雷峰塔下，涵！我们那时是毫无所拘束了。我们任情的拥抱，任意的握手，我们多么骄傲……Han, in the following year Leifeng Pagoda toppled over. Do you remember how we mourned over it? But little did I then expect that in October of that year you would depart this life leaving everything behind and be gone, never to return! Ah, Han, I used to grieve over the collapse of the Pagoda, but, now, oh, now I am thankful for its collapse for it has also blotted out the imprint we together left there.
但是涵！又过了一年，雷峰塔倒了，我们不是很凄然的惋惜吗？不过我绝不曾想到，就在这一年十月里你抛下一切走了，永远的走了！再不想回来了！呵！涵！我从前惋惜雷峰塔的倒塌，现在，呵！现在，我感谢雷峰塔的倒塌，因为它的倒塌，可以扑灭我们的残痕！Han, it will soon be October again. You have been gone for three years! Has this human world gradually faded from your memory? Oh, father is getting on in years! Every time he writes me, he always speaks of you and refers to the relationship between us as something ordained by fate. Yes, we have been suffering retribution for our deeds in the former life.
涵！今年十月就到了。你离开人间已经三年了！人间渐渐使你淡忘了吗？唉！父亲年纪老了！每次来信都提起你，你们到底是什么因果？而我和你确是前生的冤孽呢！Han! Last year, due to the inconvenience caused by living in the school dormitory, I failed to hold a memorial ceremony for the second anniversary of your death as I had intended. All I could do then was scribble a memorial message and then have it burned. May your soul exist! How I am longing for you to make a distinct appearance in my dreams! But, alas, you never appeared!
涵！去年你的二周年纪念时，我本想为你设祭，但是我住在学校里，什么都不完全，我记得我只作了一篇祭文，向空焚化了。你到底有灵感没有？我总痴望你，给我托一个清清楚楚的梦，但是那有？！Han, I did, however, once see you in my dream, but you looked so cold. Why? Does it mean that our relationship has come to an end? Han! You may have the heart to leave me and forget all about me! But you will never forget the imprint we have left under Leifeng Pagoda.
只有一次，我是梦见你来了，但是你为甚那么冷淡？果然是缘尽了吗？涵！你抛得下走了，大约也再不恋着什么！不过你总忘不了雷峰塔下的痕迹吧！Han! Things have gone from bad to worse in this human world. Everything has changed since you departed. My family has also got into deep trouble. Father has failed in business. My two elder brothers are wandering overseas. Mother and my younger brother have moved to the countryside. And father, despite his inner sorrow, is still rushing about to raise money to clear up the debts. Han! All that would have troubled you when you were on your deathbed. Now, when I tell you all about what has happened, do you feel sad too?
涵！人间是更悲惨了⑦！你走后一切都变更了。家里呢：也是树倒猢狲散，父亲的生意失败了！两个兄弟都在外洋飘荡，家里只剩母亲和小弟弟，也都搬到乡下去住，父亲忍着伤悲⑧，仍在奔忙，筹还拖欠的债，涵！这都是你临死而不放心的事情⑨，但是现在我都告诉了你，你也有点眷恋吗？As for me, I'm still battling on, and maybe you're not worrying for me. Han! The collapse of Leifeng Pagoda has been an omen of our ill luck. Now, on the occasion of the third anniversary of your death, let me offer this message to your soul in heaven as a token of my ever lingering love for you despite our separation.
我！大约你是放心的，一直挣扎着呢，涵！雷峰塔已经倒塌了，我们的离合也都应验了。——今年是你死后的三周年——我就把这断藕的残丝⑩，敬献你在天之灵吧！《雷峰塔下》是庐隐于1928年为悼念亡夫郭梦良所写的一篇祭文。文章回忆了作者与郭在杭州雷峰塔下的谈爱、定情和同居的昔日情况，倾吐了不尽的缅怀之情，堪称中国现代散文中的一篇佳作。茅盾曾在《庐隐论》一文中高度评价了这篇小品文。
