双语|现代散文:巴金 龙

The Dragon 龙

◎ Ba Jin ◎ 巴金

I often have dreams，especially on a moonless and starless dark night．Once I dreamed of a dragon.

我常常做梦。无月无星的黑夜里我的梦最多。有一次我梦见了龙。

I traveled across a remote mountain and a large swamp，armed with only a stick，with which I cleared away brambles and thorns and fought jackals and wolves．It also helped me in climbing the high mountain and crossing the marshland．And the straw sandals I wore enabled me to wade through the mud without getting my feet stuck in it.

我走入深山大泽，仅有一根手杖做我的护身武器，我用它披荆棘，打豺狼，它还帮助我登高山，踏泥沼。我脚穿草鞋，可以走过水面而不沉溺。

On a vast expanse of marsh，I came across a monster．He had two horns on his head，a moustache on his upper lip and two wide open round eyes glowing like two lanterns．Being sunk deep in the mire，he had only his head exposed above the surface，a head at least thrice the size of that of a human.

在一片大的泥沼中我看见一个怪物，头上有角，唇上有髭，两眼圆睁，红亮亮像两个灯笼。身子完全陷在泥中，只有这个比人头大过两三倍的头颅浮出污泥之上。

As I walked near to the marsh to view the monster with curiosity，he suddenly uttered in the human language to prevent me from proceeding，

我走近泥沼，用惊奇的眼光看这个怪物。它忽然口吐人言，阻止我前进：

“What's your name？Where are you going？Why did you come here？”

“你是什么？要去什么地方？为什么来到这里？”

“I'm a nameless person，”I replied proudly，thinking it unnecessary to treat a monster with courtesy.“I'm seeking for one thing．All I do is to break through brambles and briers in search of my way.”

“我是一个无名者，我寻求一样东西。我只知道披开荆棘，找寻我的道路，”我昂然回答，对着怪物我不需要礼貌。

“No，you shouldn't because a fiery mountain ahead is spurting flames far and wide and killing lots of people.”

“你不能前进，前面有火焰山，喷火数十里，伤人无算。”

“I don't care．I'm ready to go through the fire for my objective.”

“我不怕火。为了得到我所追求的东西，我甘愿在火中走过。”

“No，you shouldn't．There's an ocean ahead of you．You can't cross the vast expanse of its foamy waters without a ship.”

“你仍不能前进，前面有大海，没有船只载你渡过白茫茫一片海水。”

“I'm not afraid．I can go through the waters in my straw sandals．To achieve my aim，I'm willing to run the risk of getting drowned.”

“我不怕水，我有草鞋可以走过水面。为了得到我所追求的东西，甚至溺死，我也毫无怨言。”

“No，you can't go forward because you'll run into man-eating wild beasts.”

“你仍不能前进，前面有猛兽食人。”

“I'll use my stick to strike at them．To achieve my aim，I'm ready to engage in a desperate struggle with them.”

“我有手杖可以打击猛兽。为了得到我所追求的东西，我愿与猛兽搏斗。”

The monster's lantern-like eyes gave out a fiery light．Two long tentacles suddenly stretched out of his nostrils．With his mouth wide open，he showed a complete set of steely gleaming teeth．Then a sudden howl he gave sent the green leaves falling off the nearby tress and the muddy water bubbling and foaming.

怪物的两只灯笼眼射出火光，从鼻孔中突然伸出两根长的触须，口大张开，露出一嘴钢似的亮牙。它大叫一声，使得附近的树木马上落下大堆绿叶，泥水也立刻沸腾起泡。

“You mulish guy，what the hell are you seeking？”the monster demanded in a stern voice.

“你这顽固的人，你究竟追求什么东西？”它厉声问道。

“I'm seeking life.”

“我追求生命。”

“Life？Haven't you already got your life？”

“生命？你不是已经有了生命？”

“I want a life that is full and substantial.”

“我要的是丰富的、充实的生命。”

“I don't understand what you mean，”he shook his head.

“我不明白你的意思，”它摇摇头。

“I'm living a worthless life．I engage in empty talk all day long，not knowing what to do to help the wretched of the earth．I don't give food to those who are going hungry．I don't give clothing to those who are suffering from cold．I don't dry tears on the faces of those who are weeping．I eat，I talk，I sleep．I'm idling away my time listlessly．Do you think that，being a man like this，I still have life？To me，one is as good as dead if his life isn't full and substantial.”

“我活着不能够做一件有益的事情。我成天空谈理想，却束手看着别人受苦。我不能给饥饿的人一点饮食，给受冻的人一件衣服；我不能揩干哭泣的人脸上的眼泪。我吃着，谈着，睡着，在无聊的空闲中浪费我的光阴——像这样的一个人怎么能说是有生命？在我，若得不到丰富的、充实的生命，那么活着与死亡又有什么区别？”

The monster，after a moment of pondering，continued shaking his head，“I'm afraid you'll never get what you're chasing after．Most probably what you're seeking for doesn't exist in this world at all.”

怪物想了想，仍然摇头说：“我怕你会永远得不到你所追求的东西。或许世界上根本就没有这样的东西。”

Noticing a trace of sympathy in his ugly face，I replied，

我在它那张难看的脸上见到一丝同情了。我说：

“It does exist．I've read about it in books.”

“不会没有，我在书上见过。”

“You idiot！Fancy you believing books！”

“你这傻子，你居然相信书？”

“Yes，I believe them．They tell the truth in clear terms.”

“我相信，因为书上写得明白，讲得有道理。”

The monster sighed shaking his head，“You mule，I advise you to turn back immediately．You don't know what is waiting in ambush for you ahead.”

怪物叹息地摇摆着头：“你这顽强的人，我劝你立刻回头走。你不知道前面路上还有些什么东西等着你。”

“Yes，I know，but I still want to go ahead.”

“我知道，但是我还要往前走。”

“You should think it over.”

“你应该仔细想一下。”

“Why are you going to all lengths to stop me from going ahead？We're not acquainted with each other．I don't even know your name．Now，what name，please！”

“你为什么这样不惮烦地阻止我？我同你并不相识。我甚至不知道你的名字。告诉我，你究竟叫什么名字！”

“I haven't been called by my name for a long time．I've almost forgotten my own name．Now，let me tell you，I'm a dragon．I sure am.”

“已经有很久没有人提起我的名字了，我自己也差不多忘记了它。现在我告诉你：我是龙，我就是龙。”

I stared at his bizarre face in astonishment.

我吃了一惊。我望着那张古怪的脸。

“As a dragon，how come you're stuck in the mire？”I asked with puzzlement.“As far as I know，being king of the water，a dragon should live in the sea．And why don't you go up to the heavens by taking advantage of a thunder-storm？”A loud crash of thunder had just prompted the last question．The dragon's chest，belly and tail were covered in dark brown mud．The muddy water was bubbling like it was boiling and emitting an awful smell all the time.

“你是龙，怎么会躺在泥沼中？据我所知，龙是水中之王，应该住在大海里。你为什么又不能乘雷上天？”我疑惑地问道。这时天空响起一声巨雷，因此我才有后一句话。我看看它的身子，黄黑色的污泥盖住了它的胸腹和尾巴。泥水沸腾似地在发泡，从水面不断地冒起来难闻的臭气。

The dragon was silent and seemed to be trying desperately to extricate himself，but to no avail because the heavy mud had his whole body glued，buried under and weighed down．He opened his mouth to utter a woeful howl，two big teardrops rolling down his cheeks.

龙沉默着，它似乎努力在移动身子。但是身子被污泥粘着，盖着，压着，不能够动弹。它张开嘴哀叫一声，两颗大的泪珠从眼里掉下来。

He was crying！As I fearfully looked at his head，I found it didn't at all look like that of a dragon as I had seen in pictures，and therefore suspected him to be a fake.

它哭了！我惶恐地望着它的头，我想，这和我在图画上看见的龙头完全不像，它一定对我说了假话，它不是龙。

“Like you，I've come here to seek a full and substantial life，”he restrained his tears and began to tell his own story．That was totally beyond my expectation．What a big surprise！

“我也是为了追求丰富的生命才到这里来的，”它止了泪开始叙述它的故事。它的话是我完全料不到的。这对我是多大的惊奇！

“Like you，I hate to idle away my time listlessly．I hate to pursue my personal happiness at the expense of other aquatic animals．That's why I've abandoned my Dragon King's Palace and quit the seas so as to pursue what you call a full and substantial life．I hate to live solely for my own benefit．I've made up my mind to do something for the benefit of my own kind．Up in the skies，I don't like to keep company with the drifting colourful clouds all day long．Nor do I like to rule over other aquatic animals．Now that I've fallen on earth，I want to travel across remote mountains and swamps in search of what I've seen in my dreams，that is，a full and bright life．But I've ended up being bogged down in a quagmire and unable to extricate myself.”He kept his mouth shut，several blood-red teardrops starting from his lantern-like eyes.

“我和你一样，也不愿意在无聊的空闲中浪费我的光阴。我不愿意在别的水族的痛苦上面安放我的幸福宝座，我才抛弃龙宫，离开大海，去追求你所说的那个丰富的、充实的生命。我不愿意活着只为自己，我立志要做一些帮助同类的事情。我飞上天空，我又不愿终日与那些飘浮变化的云彩为伍，也不愿高居在别的水族之上。我便落下地来。我要访遍深山大泽，去追寻我在梦里见到的东西。在梦中我的确见过充实的、有光彩的生命。结果我却落在污泥里，不能自拔。”它闭了嘴，从灯笼眼里流出几滴泪珠，颜色鲜红，跟血一样。

“You see，I'm stuck in the mud and immovable．I can no longer endure it．I would rather die！”Turning round his head，he saw nothing but a vast expanse of mud．Then，as he cried piteously，blood-like tears again coursed down his face．He said，“But I mustn't die．No，I shouldn't．I've been lying here for tens of thousands of years.”

“你看，现在污泥粘住了我的身子，我要动一下也不能够。我过不了这种日子，我宁愿死！”它回过头去看它的身子，但是眼前仍然只是那一片污泥。它痛苦地哀叫一声，血一样的眼泪又流了下来。它说：“可是我不能死，而且我也不应该死。我躺在这里已经过了多少万年了。”

My heart ached with sympathy and throbbed with fright．Tens of thousands of years！What a long time！How did he manage to drag out the miserable existence？A shiver came upon me．Nevertheless，I put to him one more question.“How did you get stuck in the mire？”

我的心因同情而痛苦，因恐惧而猛跳。多少万年！这样长的岁月！它怎么能够熬过这么些日子？我打了一个冷噤。但是我还能够勉强地再问它一句：“你是怎样陷到污泥里来的？”

“Don't ask me．You'll soon understand，young mule.”He suddenly looked at me with pity as if he had predicted that a misfortune was befalling me.

“你不用问我这个。你自己不久就会知道，你这顽固的年轻人。”它忽然用怜悯的眼光望我，好像它已经预料着，不幸的遭遇就会降临到我身上来似的。

I gave no reply．He continued，“I wanted to break up the old order established by God．I wanted to change the arrangement made by God．I tried to strive for things denied me by God．I wanted to create a new condition．That's why I was punished by God．To seek a full and substantial life，I flew over fiery mountains，fought wild beasts，abandoned the honorary title of King of the Water and experienced untold hardships．But I'm still under God's thumb．I've been banished to this swamp to be exposed to the sun，rain，wind and thunder．My head and face are weatherbeaten and I look like a freak．But I still have the same heart as before．It's not a bit changed.”

我没有回答。它又说：“我想打破上帝定下的秩序，我想改变上帝的安排，我去追求上帝不给我们的东西，我要创造一个新的条件。所以我受到上帝的惩罚。为了追求充实的生命，我飞过火焰山，我斗过猛兽，我抛弃了水中之王的尊荣，历尽了千辛万难。但是我终于逃不掉上帝的掌握，被打落在污泥里，受着日晒、雨淋、风吹、雷打。我的头、我的脸都变了模样，我成了一个怪物。只是我的心还是从前的那一颗，并没有丝毫的改变。”

“Then why do you stop me from going ahead to seek life？”

“那么，你为什么阻止我前进，不让我去追寻生命？”

“Young mule，I don't want to see you get into trouble too．You're a mortal．You can't live to ten thousand．You'll die，you'll die very soon．You'll gain nothing and even lose all that you have now.”

“顽固的人，我不愿意你也得着恶运。你是人，你不能活到万年。你会死，你会很快地死去，你甚至会毫无所获而失掉你现在有的一切。”

“I'm not afraid of death．Without a full and substantial life，I would rather die．I don't want to follow your example by enduring the torment in the mire for tens of thousands of years．I wonder what it is that has made you so reluctant to part with the kind of life you're living.”

“我不怕死。得不到丰富的生命我宁愿死去。我不能够像你这样，居然在污泥中熬了多少万年。我奇怪像你这样的生活还有什么值得留恋？”

“Young man，you don't understand．I don't want to die．I want to live long．I'm looking forward to a day when I can extricate myself from the mire and fly to the skies by taking advantage of a thunder-storm．Then I can continue to seek a full and substantial life．As long as my heart beats，there is my aspiration．I'll keep seeking until I've fulfilled my expectations.”

“年轻人，你不明白。我要活，我要长久活下去。我还盼望着总有那么一天，我可以从污泥中拔出我的身子，我要乘雷飞上天空。然后我要继续追寻丰富的、充实的生命。我的心在跳动，我的意志就不会消灭。我的追求也将继续下去，直到我的志愿完成。”

As he was talking，tears had stopped flowing and pain on his face had given place to courage and excitement．He asked me with self-assurance，“Do you still want to go ahead？”

它说着，泪水早已干了，脸上也没有了痛苦的表情，如今有的却是勇敢和兴奋。它还带着信心似地问我一句：“你现在还要往前面走？”

“Yes，I do，”I answered resolutely and yet enthusiastically.“Fiery mountains，rolling seas and wild beasts may be awaiting me out there，but I don't care.”

“我要走，就是火山、大海、猛兽在前面等我，我也要去！”我坚决地甚至热情地回答。

The dragon burst out laughing．But hardly had his peal of laughter died away when a thunderbolt from the clear sky plunged all around me into darkness．And I even could not see the fingers when I stretched out my hand．Just then I heard a terrific noise shooting up into the sky from the ground and，meanwhile，the splashing of muddy water．I felt the earth under my feet quaking and my head swimming.

龙忽然哈哈地笑起来。它的笑声还未停止，一个晴空霹雳突然降下，把四周变成漆黑。我伸出手也看不见五根指头。就在这样的黑暗中，我听见一声巨响自下冲上天空。泥水跟着响声四溅。我觉得我站的土地在摇动了。我的头发昏。

The day was dawning．My eyes were extremely bright．The swamp was nowhere to be found．Lying in front of me was a vast expanse of grassland with its fresh green studded with reddish white flowers．Looking up at the sky，I caught a glimpse of the blackish dragon silhouetted dimly against the azure sky，his scales and shell being as jet-black as ever.

天渐渐地亮开来。我的眼前异常明亮。泥沼没有了。我前面横着一片草原，新绿中点缀了红白色的花朵。我仰头望天。蔚蓝色的天幕上隐约地现出淡墨色的龙影，一身鳞甲还是乌亮乌亮的。

《龙》是巴金写于1941年7月的一篇散文，描写“我”和龙会见时的一段梦境。他们互相倾诉为追求“丰富的、充实的生命”而不惜历尽千辛万难，叙述为人类光明的未来而甘愿自我牺牲。文中的龙已人格化，是勇士的形象，代表革命先驱的精神。“我”是后来者，是龙的精神的传人。和巴金的许多其他散文一样，此文也抒发了他爱国爱民、追求理想和光明的感情。