双语 ● 男人的浪漫 Men’s Romantic
■ 男人的浪漫 Men’s Romantic
◎ Dr. Nancy kalish
We too often define “romantic” in women’s terms— sending flowers and cards, saving mementos[53] and putting them in a box or scrapbook, gushing over chick romance movies, or listening to romantic songs all day.
我们常常太过于将“浪漫”定义为女人的专属名词——送鲜花和贺卡，在盒子或剪贴簿中收藏纪念品，滔滔不绝地谈论少女类的爱情电影，或者整天听情歌。
Men may not do these things, but many men do something more romantic than all that: they keep their love in their hearts forever.
男人大概不会做这些事，但很多男人会做比这更浪漫的事：他们将爱永存心中。
My survey of 3000 men and women worldwide who tried reunions[54] with lost loves asked, “How long did it take for you to get over your lost love?” Responses from the men indicated that they took significantly longer to get over their lost loves than the women. Some of the men were not satisfied with the survey choices: the last choice listed was, “Over 10 years.” Only men crossed out all the choices and wrote, “I never got over her!” While no doubt some women never got over their lost loves, either, only men wrote this comment on the survey.
我在调查里问那些想重归于好的3000名男士和女士：“你要花多长时间从失恋中走出来？”男人们的回答表明，他们比女人要花更长的时间才能恢复。有些男人不满意调查的选项，最后一个选项为“超过10年”。只有男人划了所有的选项，并写道：“我绝不会忘记她！”毫无疑问，有些女士也会对失去的爱无法忘怀，然而只有男士在调查中写了这项意见。
Adolescent boys are “not supposed” to cry over lost loves. But many of my male participants reported that, after their high school girlfriends broke up with them, they cried in private, every night, for months.
青春期男生“不应该”在失恋后哭泣。但是我的很多男性受访者表示，他们在高中时期与女友分手后，好几个月里每天夜晚都会独自流泪。
My lost love reunion findings about romantic men paralleled results of my survey of adults who never tried lost love reunions. There were significantly more men than women who chose to fill out the survey, and they expressed strong feelings for their first loves, even though they had not contacted these women (and may never do so).
在调查报告中，那些想重归于好的人和那些不再试图找回失去的爱恋的人相比，均衡结果显示，更多的男士比女士选择填写这项调查，并且表达了对初恋的强烈感情，即使他们已经和这些女人没有任何接触了（而且可能永远都不会再有接触）。
Posts on the Message Board of my web site (Lostlovers.com), are more represented by women than men. But appearances are misleading[55] . Actually, there are more men who are members of my site than women. The men don’t post as often as the women, but they are reading!
我的网站（Lostlovers.com）留言板上的留言更多则是女士发表的言论，但这只是表面现象。实际上，在我的网站上，男士会员要多过女士。男人们不会像女人那样经常回应，但是他们会去阅读留言。
Men more often sign up for private phone consultations to talk about their lost loves than women.
与女士相比，男士更愿意参加私下的电话咨询谈论他们失去的爱情。
But it is a rare men’s magazine that will print a story about love and romance. The editors tell me that they think men are uninterested. Not so! When my research was quoted in Playboy , it generated a lot of responses.
但是，男性杂志很少会刊登关于爱情或浪漫的故事。编辑告诉我，他们认为男士对这些不感兴趣。绝不是！当我的研究被《花花公子》引用时，它得到了大量的回应。
On occasions where romance is expected (such as Valentine’s Day, birthdays or anniversaries), we should all remember to separate emotions from behaviors. Men may not make scrapbooks of mementos of their love experiences, but they are every bit as loving, loyal, and yes, romantic, as women—and sometimes more so!
有时，浪漫是令人期待的（比如情人节、生日或纪念日），我们应该记住把情感和行动区分开来。男人也许不会做纪念品剪贴簿等留下爱情历程中令人回忆的东西，但是他们和女人一样爱着，一样忠诚。是的，他们同女人一样浪漫——有时，甚至比女人更浪漫！
