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英语沙龙十年合集珍藏版第三辑Lucky Number

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Lucky Number

 

My last ten dollars...which number...which numberI agonizedThe croupier1) spun the wheelThere was a large crowdA lot of money riding on number sevenShould I go with itIt had always been our lucky numberand maybe it would be lucky againjust one more timeWe'd met on the seventhmarried on the seventhand both our birthdays were on the seventhThen againI'd been losing on seven all nightI put my money on eight

It hadn't been a good eveningI had entered the casino2) with a sense of foreboding3) which deepened during the nightas I gambled away my meager savingsIt was the first time I'd been back after the disaster of 1993,when I'd lost Estelle's money as well as my ownWorse than thatI lost her respectThat was a big lesson for me to learnMoney could be lost and won easilyThe respect of your beloved could be lost easilybut was not easily won back

I thought she would leave meI begged her to stayI pleaded with herI threw myself on her mercyI made promises--big promisesShe stayedI kept my promisesI stayed away from the racecourse4)I handed her my salarywhich she handled very wellI was pleasantly surprised at how well you could live on a modest wage when you didn't waste it gambling

I thought I was curedEstelle never referred to that nightbut she had never forgotten it either and I could feel its presencelike a small dark cloud on the horizon of our otherwise sunny existenceSo why was I hereI wouldn't have beenunless it was absolutely necessarybelieve meThe simple fact was that I had crashed Estelle's car that morningIt was extensively damagedA not so simple fact was that Estelle's car was not just any old car--it was a beautiful yellow MGB that had belonged to her fatherShe never allowed me to drive itI wanted to impress a client and had foolishly seized the opportunity to “borrow” it while she was out of town for the dayEverything would have been fine but for the lamp post that I ran into on my way homeAnother not so simple fact was that at the moment of impact I suddenly remembered that I hadn't posted off the insurance premium due last weekIt was still in my briefcase5)The small dark cloud was rapidly becoming a black thunderheadflickering with lightningMy only resource was a couple of hundred dollars I'd saved by skipping lunches and cutting down on smokesA man should always have a little something in reservefor a rainy daylike todayI really had no alternativeI took the moneygritted my teeth6)said a prayerand headed for the casinoI soon found that my luck had not deserted me --my bad luckthat isYou'd think that after an absence of almost three years I would be due some beginner's luckBut  no sirree7)Everywhere I turnedeverything I triedI lost

And here we wereplaying with my last ten dollarsThe last throw of the diceI looked up from the spinning roulette wheel and caught the croupier's stony gazeI watched him as he scanned the eager crowdHis eyes met mine and there was a hint of contempt in the smileHow many fortunes had he seen won and lost at his tableHow many lives ruined“Yesmate”I felt like saying“here's another sucker whose entire life depends on the throw of a dice8)”I understood his contemptIn the last three years I had watched others go down the road I had shunnedI saw their glee turn to despairI saw the desperation in their demeanour9) as they slunk into the den of iniquityI shuddered to think that I had been one of themEstelle had saved me and I stood proudly invincibleuntouched by triumph or tragedy

Until todayNo wonder the croupier had contempt for meI had contempt for myselfI dropped my gazeThe roulette was still spinning crazilyas if it was never going to stopA hundred eyes focused on itIt started to slowThe crowd pressed forwardThe man beside me squared his shoulders and seemed to hold his breathFurther along the table I could see a woman's hand clenched into a whiteknuckled fistSomethingperhaps the woman's wristwatchreminded me of Estelleand I turned away in shameI promised myself that win or loseI would never returnNever a gain would I compromise the purity of our relationship

When the croupier's voice announced the winning number my stomach sankIt was sevenAll was lostA woman squealed in delightso like my own dear Estelle that it stabbed me to the heartI saw the previously whiteknuckled fist jab the air in joyous victoryThe movement was so suddenalmost violentthat the wristwatch clasp broke and the watch sailed into the airlanding on the plush carpetnot far from my feetAll eyeshoweverwere on the womanShe had flung herself into the arms of her ostentatiously10)  wealthy male companionsquawking in an unnatural high pitched voice“KenKenWe've done itWe've won”She began to laugh uncontrollablyShe hootedShe cackledscreeched and whoopedShe slapped her thighShe danced a jigThe crowd watched in envious amusementBut I was not amusedI didn't need to pick up the watch to know that it was in scribed “To Estelle from her grateful husband 

  

by Pieter Koster

幸运数字

  

    还剩最后10美元……压哪个数字……哪个呢我感到极度的痛苦。赌场总管转动着赌盘。一大群人围在前面。数字7上摆了许多钱。我应该试试它吗?7一直是我们的幸运数字,或许这次能再次应验,就这一次了。我们在7日相遇,在7日结婚,并且我们两人的生日都在7日。然而,整个晚上我都因投7而失了手。所以这一次我把钱压在了数字8上。

这一晚上我可真不顺。一来到赌场我就有一种预感,随着手头上本不充裕的钱越赌越少,这个预感则变得愈来愈强烈。此次旧地重游是我灾难的1993年后的第一次。那一年,我输掉了埃斯特尔的钱和我所有的钱。更糟的是,我失去了她对我的尊敬。这是我有生以来最大的一次教训。钱财易失也易得,但你所爱的人对你的尊敬却易失难得。

我想她会离我而去。我于是恳求她留下。我真是求她了。我乞求她能够怜悯我并在她面前对天起了誓。她留下了。我则信守诺言。对赛马场我敬而远之。我将工资交给她,她管理得有条不紊。当看到不再把钱浪费在赌博上,而靠微薄的工资也能很好地生活时,我感到了一丝快乐的惊喜。

我认为我的恶习已经得到根治。埃斯特尔从未再提及那天夜里发生的事情,但是她也始终没有忘却。我能感受到这一点,就像在我们灿烂的阳光中总有一小片黑云似的。那么我又为什么来到这里呢?请相信我,若不是不得不来的话,我本是不该在这里出现的。简单的事实是,那天早晨我把埃斯特尔的汽车撞坏了,而且撞得很厉害。但另一个并不那么简单的事实是,埃斯特尔的车不是辆普普通通的旧车,而是本来属于她父亲的一辆漂亮的黄色MGB。她从不允许我开这辆车。而我却为了在一位客户前摆阔,竟趁她今天不在借来一用。要不是在回家的路上我撞在了那盏路灯柱上,一切本来都很顺利。另一个并不那么简单的事实是,在那撞击的一瞬间,我突然记起,上星期保险到期,我却还没有将续保险费寄出,还放在我手提箱里。小片的乌云迅即成了浓云滚滚,电闪雷鸣。我惟一拥有的只是几百美元,还是我缩食节烟省下的。一个男人总得有点私房钱。就是为了某一天的急用,像今天。我真的别无选择了。我拿着钱,咬了咬牙,嘴中祈祷着走向了赌场。我很快发现我的手气背弃了我,也就是说我的运气糟得很。你会想几乎3年没练手,我应当有点新手的福气。可事实上根本没有。我到处去翻转赌具,到处去尝试,却到处都输钱。

好了,把话再说回来。我剩下了仅有的10元钱,还有最后一次压赌的机会。我抬头从飞速旋转的赌盘望去,目光正好与赌场总管的碰到了一起。他逐一扫视着这些急不可耐的赌客。他也看到了我,于是对我笑了一下,但是笑中带着一丝蔑视。在这张桌子前,也不知他看到了多少次大把大把的钱财赢来又输光。目睹了多少人家破人亡。是的,伙计。我很想对他讲,这儿又来了一个将整个命运压在这最后一掷的笨蛋。我懂得他那一份蔑视。在过去的3年中,我也曾见过不少人沿着我一直避免不去走的路滑落下去,他们由欢喜变成失望、误入歧途又难以自拔的情景历历在目。想起我也曾是他们中的一员,不禁感到心有余悸。埃斯特尔挽救了我。我得以又以一个自豪的不可战胜的新面孔挺立起来,赢利或是悲戚对我来讲已如同陌路。

但是今天这一切都已成过去。难怪赌场总管用那种蔑视的眼光瞧着我。其实我自己都蔑视自己。我垂下了眼睑。赌盘仍在疯狂地旋转着,好像永远不会停下来。数百只眼睛紧紧盯着它。转盘开始放慢了速度。人们的身体也随之向前倾去。我身旁的那个男人端着肩膀,似乎呼吸已经凝止了。桌子的另一边一个女人紧握着指节已变白的拳头。有样东西,或许是这个女人的手表,使我想起了埃斯特尔。我感到了一阵羞愧,便转身走开了。我向自己许诺不管是赢是输,我决不再回到这里了。我再也不能破坏我们纯洁的关系。

听着赌场主管宣布获胜的数字,我的心猛地沉了下去。幸运数是7。一切全完了。这时传来一个女人快乐的尖叫声,很像我亲爱的埃斯特尔。我心里不禁感到一阵刺痛。我看到刚才那个白指节的拳头正在欢快地胜利地在空中挥舞着。动作是那么地突然,几乎可以说是猛烈,以至于手表带一下子崩断了。手表在空中迅速飞过,最后落在了离我脚不远的豪华地毯上。然而,人们的目光仍盯着那个女人。她飞扑进了她的穿着阔绰的男伴怀中,用尖尖的声调叫道:肯。肯。我们成功了。我们赢了。她开始狂笑起来。她一会儿大叫,一会儿咯咯地笑,一会儿尖声尖气,一会儿又气喘吁吁。她拍打自己的大腿,随即又扭起了舞步。周围的人们用羡慕的眼光饶有兴味地注视着她的表演。然而我没有任何喜悦之情。不必拾起那块手表,即使知道表上刻着埃斯特尔存念,心怀感激的丈夫赠。”

                                               

NOTE 注释:

 

1.      croupier [5kru:piE] n. 赌场上的总管理人

2.      casino [kE5si:nEu] n. 赌场

3.      foreboding [fC:5bEJdIN] n. 预感, 先兆, 预兆

4.      racecourse [5reIskC:s] n. 跑马场,赛马场

5.      briefcase [5brIfkeIs] n. 手提箱,公文包

6.      grit one's teeth 咬紧牙关;下定决心

7.      sirree [sE:5ri:] n. 先生

8.      dice [dais] n. 骰子

9.      demeanour [di5mi:nE] n. 行为, 举止

10.  ostentatiously [7Csten5teiFEsli] adv. 装饰表面地,卖弄地

 

 

 

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