新编大学英语第三册unit2 Text D: Why Manners?
UNIT 2 AFTER-CLASS READING 3; New College English (III)
Why Manners?
1 Almost all of us believe that we live in an age of uncouth manners, that things were better in some previous era. For example, the 18th century in England is known as a period of high refinement in social intercourse. We look back with nostalgia to the soft candle-light, the elaborate courtesies, the hand-kissing- unwilling to confront the brutal reality of a century in which dueling to the death was commonplace and gentlemen were expected to drink themselves under the table.
2 Manners change. In our day, it is considered good manners to be clean indeed we spend billions of dollars on products designed to keep us "fresh". In the 18th century, by contrast, most doctors and church authorities frowned on bathing, and women's elegant hairdoes were often full of lice.
3 The changeability of manners makes the whole subject difficult to approach. To take one example: It was not considered bad manners in the 18th century for a man to wear his hat indoors. You would take it off to greet a lady, but then you'd put it right back on your head.
4 The reason for this is perfectly plain. In the first place, the hat served as a sign of rank throughout most of history, a visible mark of status; in the second place, you couldn't draw a sword easily if you were holding a hat in your hand.
5 There is a lesson to be learned from this. For the most part, manners are merely self-protective devices appropriate to the customs of a particular age. These customs sometimes become formalized and symbolic, but they invariably derive from some practical need. Thus, on meeting somebody, we commonly shake right hands a formal custom of no present-day significance. But in an age when everybody carried weapons, it was a demonstration that one was prepared to converse without a weapon in one's hand, a sign of peace. What we think of as "good manners" was merely a way of saying, "I mean you no immediate violence, if you can show that your intention is the same."
6 In a similar spirit, the seat on the right hand of the host is the place of honor. One theory about the origin of this custom is that a right-handed man sitting on the host's right could not easily stab him. What had been the prudent place for a rival gradually became the honored seat for any important guest.
7 Caution lies behind manners, wherever we look. In days gone by, a host sampled the wine before serving it, not to check that the wine was all right but to prove to his guests that it wasn't poisoned. A wine steward used his polished silver wine server as a demonstration of the host's good will toward his guests. Silver was thought to neutralize poisons in wine.
8 Why do we stand aside and let someone older or more important go through the door first? One theory is that in medieval times it was sensible for the strongest man to leave the castle first, since there was always a possibility he would be met with armed opponents or the rebellious peasantry waving pitchforks and scythes. Gradually a certain honor descended upon this position. It was assumed that the most important person was also the strongest, and even if he wasn't, he could hardly deny it.
9 Manners are society's way of oiling the machinery. If you don't lubricate relationships, tempers rise and people fight unnecessary battles. Besides, it's worthwhile having good manners, so that when you drop them for a moment, people know you mean business. When Dwight D. Eisenhower, for example, turned red and swore, people ran for cover, because he was usually extremely polite.
10 People with good manners do better in most situations than those without. Most negotiations, for example, are impossible without good manners, which explains why diplomats are famed for their courtesy. The best lawyers, too, are usually exquisitely courteous. Beware of the man who never raises his voice and always treats you with courtesy he could be going for the jugular.
11 Despite mankind's reputation for violence, most people prefer to avoid confrontation, and avoiding confrontation is what manners are all about. Manners are not a demonstration of weakness, but a sign of common sense.
12 In the end, there is no gain in being cruel to people, whether it is in the small failures of civility in daily life or in the larger ones. Manners are mankind's way of saying "Let's not fight unless we have to" and there may be no higher wisdom than that, in diplomacy, in business, in love and marriage, and in the transactions of everyday life.
