考研英语作文考场范文批改及点评(14)

(文章直接描述图画内容，不妥，可加一句图画类作文的开头常用句，如As is vividly depicted in the picture,等)The black man, with a happy and delighted face(改为with a happiness of facial expression), is spending spring festival with a Chinese family. Conspicuously, it is a (改为an)encouraging scene relate to culture integration between China and west(可改为the west countries), which is a(改为an) excellent offspring of new century.Several factor(改为factors，several意为“几个”，其后名词应用复数形式) weight heavily for this emerging trend illustrate(改为illustrated) in the picture, yet, two kernels suspended on the top of the list which should never be overlooked. To begin with, the Chinese economy has witnessed its unprecedented lever(改为level,unprecedented level表示“前所未有的水平") of growth in past 30 years, which give an powerful impetus to the publicity of Chinese civilization. What’s more, Chinese culture, though through perpetual wars and turbulence, preserve its vitality and glamour(改为its vitality and glamour are preserved), (加and its)assets appreciated by most foreigners. There are encouraging parallels today, as many westerners in one wave after another making their trip(改为trips) to China to get panorama of Chinese heritage.From my perspective, various measures should be made to foster this integration. Firstly, suitable atmosphere must be created, where our culture and its counterparts can co-exist in harmonious.,(注意标点的正确使用)by us. Secondly, the authorities ought to lunch various publicity campaigns to make Chinese culture known to(加the) world. The cultural thrive has loomed, and the economic prosperity will not be far away.

编辑点评

整体来说，文章写得不错;但还存在个别简单的语法错误。作者在写作完之后若可以花费几分钟时间来回读文章，便会减少不必要的错误。考研作文的整体思路你已经基本掌握，后面要做的就是多积累高分佳句，为自己的文章增彩;再者，写完之后一定要认真检查，减少失分点。

参考分数：13分(满分20分)