GRE写作满分范文五十四

"The best ideas arise from a passionate interest in commonplace things." 

I can agree with the statement above that, "The best ideas arise from a passionate interest in commonplace things. "  The statement  is an accurate description of how many people form great ideas from ordinary things in life. Sports are all great ideas that are made from commonplace things.  What makes sports some of the best ideas is not what they began as but what they evolved into. 

All athletic competitions began from commonplace things being  brought together for the purpose of entertainment, excercise, and social interaction.  Many of the sports people enjoy today are the results of someone's idea creating a new dimension of our lifestyle out of an ordinary object.   Baseball, basketball, and track especially show that the idea of creating something wonderful out of ordinary objects is true. 

Who would have thought that a stick and a ball would spawn into a national pastime, a generational tie between father and son, , a national bond between all races, and  a multibillion dollar industry.  Baseball began when someone decided to throw a ball at someone with a stick and that person with the stick would then try to hit the ball.  What a simple concept and what a wonderful consequence. 

Today the simple game of baseball is played all over the world.  It is a sport that crosses international divides of religion, race, and politics.  This one simple game, a bat hitting a ball, can bring the whole world together.  But baseball is just one sport that shows the ablitiy to bridge cultural gaps. 

When Mr. Naismith nailed a peachbasket to a post and threw a ball into it he had no idea that millions of people would be playing his game today.  Mr. Naismith invented the game of basketball, which most everyone has played at some point in his or her life. Throwing a  ball into a basket.  What could be more simple or commonplace than a ball and a peach basket.  　  

Today, basketball is the new American pastime.  It replaced baseball because it is cheaper than baseball and it can be played by only one person.  This interest in balls and new uses for them,  as we can see in both baseball and basketball, brought about a huge social phenomena of excercise and new social interaction that would bring people together rather than divide them. 　　  

It doesn't take a ball to create a sport from a commonplace item.  Track and field has no balls used in it, unless you consider the shotput a ball.  The whole sport of track and field is made of simple ideas: running, jumping, and throwing.  Simple but yet it is one of the most watched events worldwide as evidenced by the recent Olympic Games. For example, team relay races consist of four people running around an oval track passing a baton to each other.  A baton that is the only object you need to have a relay race,a baton is definetly a commonplace thing.   Yet this event has such stars as Carl Lewis who is known world wide. 

Sports and how they were created is the epitome of the idea that "the best ideas arise form a passionate interest in commonplace things."  What might have seemed boring at the time of hitting a ball, or throwing a ball into a net, or passing a baton are all now events that millions take part in and even more watch.  What makes these ideas great is that they all bring people from different backgrounds together, wether they  intended to or not. 

COMMENTARY 

This essay presents a thoughtful, if not very well-developed, discussion of the issue.  Drawing examples from the world of sports, the writer notes that most sports begin with a simple idea.  Baseball, for example, "began when someone decided to throw a ball at someone with a stick and that person with the stick would then try to hit the ball."  From this simple idea came a sport that is played and enjoyed all over the world.  Instead of focusing solely on the universal appeal of sports, however, the essay introduces the idea that sports cross "international divides of religion, race, and politics."  This is a perceptive idea, but it is not effectively supported or sustained. 

Throughout the essay, ideas are expressed clearly and word choice is accurate.  Sentences are at times well formed and varied: "Today the simple game of baseball is played all over the world.  It is a sport that crosses international divides of religion, race, and politics.  This one simple game, a bat hitting a ball, can bring the whole world together."  On the whole, however, this is a 5 essay; it lacks the syntactic sophistication and insightful analysis necessary for a score of 6.