GRE写作满分范文五十八

"The best ideas arise from a passionate interest in commonplace things." 

The best ideas arise from  a passionate interest in commonplace things because they are from places in the heart.  These iseas draw you to learn more about them.  The idea or ideas have become passionate to you by either personal experience or by observation.  It catches your attention and causes you to examine why or how the occurance /idea exsists. Institentively the desire to know more about the idea pushes you into futher research of the subject.  The idea can be something you don't understand to be acceptable or unacceptable. The drive to understand leads to passion and that passion drives you to develope a great idea. 

COMMENTARY 

This essay is fundamentally flawed; it does not present an organized, coherent response to the topic.  Sentences and fragments are strung together with little, if any, underlying logic.  The writer's position seems to be that the more passionate we are about an idea, the more we will pursue it.  But this idea is not really developed, even in a perfunctory way. 

The errors are so pervasive and fundamental that they seriously interfere with meaning.  This response requires considerable revisions to receive a score higher than 1.