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剑13Test2小作文9分范文赏析:租住房屋占比

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2018年05月31日

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  The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011.

  Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

  剑桥雅思小作文解析

  我们都知道,动态柱状图可以看做线图。

  1) 租房家庭的比例总体下降,最后小幅上升

  2) 住自购房的家庭的比例总体上升,最后小幅下降

  似乎这是一个2条线的线图,文章结构:

  A. 把信息分成2个主体段,分别写租房和住自购房的家庭对应的两条线

  B. 然后,在结尾段写1971年以及之前和之后租房和自购房的比例大小关系

  然而,这样想就错了。

  不建议这样写,有2个原因

  1图形隐含了信息:租房家庭比例+住自购房的家庭比例=100%

  数据是否需要全部写?不用。既然加起来是100%,其实每一年写租房(或者住自购房的)家庭的比例即可。那么,在你把租房家庭主体段写完之后,住自购房的家庭主体段已经不需要写了

  2虽然1971年之前的5年租房的比住自购房的多,但是差异一样吗?显然不一样,而这个差异大小的区别是必写信息。

  正确的分段方式

  主体段1:1971年以及之前的共12个比例分成一大组(一个主体段),要比较(租房比住自购房)多得特别多和多得没那么多

  主体段2:1971年之后的8个比例分成另一大组(另一个主体段),其他同上

  结尾段:写租房的总趋势和住自购房的总趋势

  推荐这种分段方式,是因为它能更好地展示图形中的 comparisons, 其实也算是这个题目的标准写法。

  但是,并不是非要用标准的方式才能写作文。

  如果不这样分段,这篇小作文能达到7分吗?

  能,只要你语言够好。

  剑桥雅思小作文范文

  开头段

  The bar chart illustrates how the proportions of households that lived in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales changed from 1918 to 2011.

  主体段1:1971年之前

  Before 1971, more households lived in rented accommodation than in owned accommodation. The biggest gap was in 1918, when 77% households rented. The same proportions (68%) of households lived in owned accommodation in 1939 and 1953. In 1961, there were as many as 40% of households in owned accommodation. Finally, the year 1971 witnessed equal proportions of households that lived in both types of accommodation.

  主体段2:1971年之后

  On the other hand, there were more households that lived in owned accommodation than in rented accommodation after 1971. In 1991 and 2001, households in owned accommodation more than doubled those in rented accommodation. The difference was less prominent in 1981 and 2001, when about 60% of households lived in owned accommodation.

  结尾段:租房和住自购房家庭的趋势

  It is clear that, while there was an increase in the percentage of households in owned accommodation in these two nations, fewer and fewer households rented.


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