老爸老妈的浪漫史第四季12

[00:01.20]Kids, in the winter of 2009, Aunt Robin and I had just become roommates.
[00:01.20]孩子们 2009年的冬天 我和你们Robin阿姨成为了室友
[00:04.98]And to be honest, it wasn't going very smoothly.
[00:04.98]坦白说 我们处得不是很好
[00:07.47]Ooh, that looks good. I'm gonna get some.
[00:07.47]好好吃的样子 我也来点
[00:09.43]There's no more milk.
[00:09.43]没有牛奶了
[00:10.66]No, I just saw some in tin the fridge.
[00:10.66]不对啊 我刚在冰箱见到一罐
[00:11.97]- Empty. - So throw it out.
[00:11.97]- 那是空的 - 那就扔了它啊
[00:13.87]The trash can's full.
[00:13.87]垃圾桶满了
[00:15.43]So take the trash out.
[00:15.43]那就把垃圾拿出去啊
[00:17.17]I'm eating cereal.
[00:17.17]我在吃麦片呢
[00:19.60]You know, when I asked you to be my roommate,
[00:19.60]知道不 当我让你跟我一起住时
[00:22.16]I figured, She's a girl, she'll be neat.
[00:22.16]我在想 她是个女孩 应该会很整洁吧
[00:25.30]But no, you're Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds.
[00:25.30]可是恰恰相反 你简直像<菜鸟大反攻>里的食尸鬼
[00:29.37]You know what, Ted?
[00:29.37]听着 Ted
[00:30.51]Instead of coming up with hot off the press topical references like that,
[00:30.51]先抛下刚刚发生的这件 不具代表性的事不谈
[00:34.13]maybe you should spend a little time, I don't know, uh, washing a dish ever.
[00:34.13]或许你可以花一丁点时间去... 怎么说呢 洗一下盘子 就一次也好
[00:39.01]Oh, darn, I can't.
[00:39.01]不好意思 我不能
[00:41.34]I'm too busy leaving a plate of cookies for the magical elf who changes the toilet paper roll.
[00:41.34]我忙到忘了 给换厕纸的魔法小精灵留一盘饼干了
[00:46.32]Oh, wait, there's no elf. It's always me!
[00:46.32]等等 那不是小精灵 从来都是我换的!
[00:49.37]I always change it. You never do!
[00:49.37]从来都是我换的 你没换过!
[00:51.30]- That is ridiculous!I changed it, like, the last five times. - No, I went in there yesterday...
[00:51.30]- 没可能! 最后这五次都是我换的 - 才不是呢 我昨天进去过...
[00:54.35]Stop! Stop! God, what is going on?
[00:54.35]停! 停下来! 老天 发生什么事了?
[00:57.60]When we were dating each other,
[00:57.60]我们还在拍拖的时候
[00:58.84]we were practically living together and we didn't drive each other this crazy.
[00:58.84]基本上住在一起了 都没发生过这种事
[01:02.43]I know. What happened?
[01:02.43]我知道啊 怎么回事了?
[01:05.18]You know what it is? We were having sex.
[01:05.18]知道为什么不? 我们那时有做爱
[01:08.54]Men and women need sex to live together.
[01:08.54]男人和女人住在一起就必须要做爱
[01:10.96]It solves all disputes.
[01:10.96]做爱能解决所有争论
[01:13.07]Oh, like Barney's theory about world peace?
[01:13.07]就像Barney说的那个世界和平理论?
[01:16.07]So I explained to her.I said, Madeline,
[01:16.07]所以我就跟她解释咯 我说 Madeline
[01:18.68]every single international conflict essentially boils down to sexual tension.
[01:18.68]每一个国际冲突 从根本来说都是性关系紧张引起的
[01:24.63]Every international conflict?
[01:24.63]每个国际冲突?
[01:25.97]Every single one, dude.
[01:25.97]每一个 兄弟
[01:27.48]So the crisis in the Middle East could be solved by...
[01:27.48]所以说可以解决中东危机的是...
[01:30.58]Gaza Strippers. Next.
[01:30.58]加沙地带的脱衣舞娘 下一个
[01:33.11]Apartheid?
[01:33.11]南非种族隔离呢?
[01:34.31]Apart thighs. What else you got?
[01:34.31]岔开的大腿啊(种族隔离谐音) 还能是什么?
[01:37.28]Cold War?
[01:37.28]冷战呢?
[01:39.20]Mrs. Gorbachev, take down those pants.
[01:39.20]戈尔巴乔夫夫人 脱~下~裤子
[01:45.36]Well, guess we should just start having sex, then.
[01:45.36]看来我们只能谈谈情 说说性了
[01:49.01]Yeah, right.
[01:49.01]没错
[01:53.22]I know.
[01:53.22]我明白
[01:54.63]It's like riding a bike, huh, buddy?
[01:54.63]就像骑自行车一样 是吧? 伙计
[01:56.87]Riding a bike upside down, maybe.
[01:56.87]或者说骑着部颠簸的自行车
[01:59.54]Okay, listen. If this is gonna happen on occasion, we can't tell anyone about this. Deal?
[01:59.54]听着 这只是偶然事件 我们谁也不能告诉
[02:04.91]- Deal. - Deal.
[02:04.91]- 一言为定 - 一言为定
[02:20.68]How I Met Your Mother Season04 Episode12
[02:20.68]老爸老妈浪漫史 第四季 第12集
[02:23.73]- Marshall, Marshall... - What the hell are you guys doing?
[02:23.73]- Marshall Marshall... - 你们两个到底在干什么?
[02:25.93]What, are you guys, like, back together?
[02:25.93]你们两个要 复合了?
[02:28.04]No. We're just having sexe don't fight anymore.
[02:28.04]不 我们只是随便搞搞 为了不再吵架而已
[02:30.79]Oh, that's a great idea. No, really. Two thumbs up, guys.
[02:30.79]太好了 不 真的要对你们竖起大拇指了
[02:35.15]Hey, I just looked into the future and that works out really great for eve for everyone.
[02:35.15]嘿 我刚刚看见未来了 你们这样真的对大家都好
[02:40.01]What are you even doing here?
[02:40.01]那你又在这里干什么?
[02:41.83]I was on my way to work and I just had to drop by here to...
[02:41.83]我正准备上班 然后要经过这里来...
[02:46.45]read this magazine.
[02:46.45]看杂志
[02:48.94]In... that room over there.
[02:48.94]在...那头的房间看
[02:51.75]Oh, I get it.
[02:51.75]我懂了
[02:53.83]No problem, buddy.
[02:53.83]没问题 哥们儿
[02:54.85]Uh, yes, a problem, buddy.
[02:54.85]呃 有问题 哥们儿
[02:56.75]You came all the way over here to read a magazine?
[02:56.75]你走这么大一段路来这里看杂志?
[02:59.98]I'm willing to bet that there is a place to read a magazine at work.
[02:59.98]我敢说你上班那儿肯定能有地方看杂志
[03:04.41]You know, a room with a little man on the door?
[03:04.41]你知道 门上贴着个小男人的房间? （厕所）
[03:07.23]Okay, Robin. Come on.
[03:07.23]行了 Robin 你就别这样了
[03:09.50]Nobody likes to read a magazine at work.
[03:09.50]没人喜欢上班时看杂志的
[03:11.98]I mean, you walk out of your office holding a magazine
[03:11.98]我是说 如果你拿着本杂志走出办公室
[03:15.48]and that magazine is saying one thing and one thing only.
[03:15.48]那本杂志就只说明一件事
[03:19.32]Hey everyone, look at what Marshall's about to do!
[03:19.32]嘿 大家看呐 看看Marshall要干啥!
[03:22.81]Marshall's about to read a big ol' magazine in the bathroom that you all share with him.
[03:22.81]Marshall 正准备在 大家都用的厕所里看旧杂志呢
[03:30.66]Well, have you thought about maybe not reading a magazine when you read a magazine?
[03:30.66]那你有没想过只是草草的看一眼了事?
[03:35.29]You gotta read a magazine.
[03:35.29]看杂志怎么可以略过内容
[03:37.05]I mean, that's why there's magazines.
[03:37.05]杂志就是让人好好读的嘛
[03:39.27]Otherwise,t's just time you're not getting back.
[03:39.27]不然的话 过去的时间不会再回来啊
[03:41.01]Exactly.
[03:41.01]没错
[03:42.64]And the worst part is this: That stretch of hallway from my door to that restroom
[03:42.64]更糟糕的是 从我办公室到厕所的那段路
[03:47.38]is a gauntlet of judging eyes.
[03:47.38]充满了鄙视的目光
[03:51.98]You got my boss.
[03:51.98]我老板的鄙视
[03:53.49]We all know exactly what you're about to do.
[03:53.49]你要去做什么我们全知道了
[03:58.00]Her boss.
[03:58.00]她老板
[03:59.67]Hey, Eriksen, why don't you just move your desk in there?
[03:59.67]嘿 Eriksen 你怎么不直接把办公桌搬进去呢?
[04:03.63]I-Can't-Believe-He-Has-A-Wife Donald.
[04:03.63]还有Donald那种 "不敢相信他这样还能找到老婆"的眼神
[04:05.79]Oh, sweetie, so obvious.
[04:05.79]小甜心 你太明显了啦~
[04:09.84]Anyways, I just would rather do that here.
[04:09.84]不管怎么说 我还是喜欢在这里看
[04:13.39]No, I'm sorry. This is our apartment now.
[04:13.39]不 很不好意思 这是我们的房子
[04:16.00]Marshall, you have to read a magazine someplace else.
[04:16.00]Marshall 你要看杂志就去其他地方
[04:19.90]- Give me your key. - Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.
[04:19.90]- 把钥匙给我 - 好...难了 没门儿
[04:22.53]Marshall.
[04:22.53]Marshall
[04:23.22]I seem to recall a deal being struck between three parties
[04:23.22]我刚刚好记起件事 是某三人间的秘密
[04:27.10]wherein none would discuss a certain event that transpired.
[04:27.10]没人希望泄露出去的秘密
[04:31.74]An event of the... persuasion.
[04:31.74]是关于...的秘密
[04:35.14]That key, madam, buys my silence.
[04:35.14]那把钥匙 女士 算是封口费了
[04:39.26]Good day to you both.
[04:39.26]祝你们俩继续愉快
[04:42.49]You two hooked up?
[04:42.49]你们俩搞上了?
[04:45.01]*****
[04:45.01]多谢你了 Lily
[04:47.84]So, wow. You two... slept together.
[04:47.84]这么说 你们俩...睡在一起了
[04:51.89]That is awf... some. Awfsome.
[04:51.89]真是衰...帅啊 太帅了
[04:56.88]Nice work, Ted. Tap that.
[04:56.88]干得好 Ted 上了她
[04:59.21]It sounds like a bigger deal than it is.
[04:59.21]你们太小题大做了
[05:01.60]Yeah, we talked it over and we both realized we've had a rough couple of months.
[05:01.60]我们好好商量了一下 发现大家这几个月来都过的不太好
[05:05.47]We deserve a little fun.
[05:05.47]大家应该乐一乐
[05:06.71]No. This could wind up ruining your friendship.
[05:06.71]不对 这样会毁掉你们的友情的
[05:10.32]When two exes try to "just be casual," someone always winds up getting hurt.
[05:10.32]当前任之间想"随便乐一乐" 最后肯定会有人受伤的
[05:15.39]Turned out, Lily was right.
[05:15.39]后来发现 Lily说对了
[05:17.13]But more on that later.
[05:17.13]不过好戏在后头
[05:18.54]Look, guys, we've got this covered, okay?
[05:18.54]伙计们 这些我们都谈过了
[05:20.76]No one's gonna get hurt.
[05:20.76]没人会受伤的
[05:22.07]We set up ground rules.
[05:22.07]我们还定下了规矩
[05:24.13]Okay, rule number one: This is strictly a physical relationship.
[05:24.13]好吧 第一 这绝对只是肉体关系
[05:27.24]There are no feelings involved, okay?
[05:27.24]不带任何感情的 行不?
[05:28.74]Oh, please, that's like telling the Fonz to be cool.
[05:28.74]废话 那不等于叫Fonz酷一点吗? (Fonz<欢乐时光>的男主角 被认为该剧中最酷的角色)
[05:31.75]And since it's just physical, we don't have to worry about romance, right?
[05:31.75]还有因为这只是肉体关系 我们不用浪漫啥的 对不?
[05:34.77]Hell, no. Ooh, we can do it while we watch TV!
[05:34.77]那当然 我们可以边做边看电视啊!
[05:37.25]Totally! And we can multi-task.
[05:37.25]太对了! 我们可以一心二用
[05:39.08]You know, use the sex to spice up otherwise dull activities.
[05:39.08]就像用做爱来调剂其他无聊的活动
[05:42.25]- Like folding laundry. - Paying bills.
[05:42.25]- 例如叠衣服 - 算账单时
[05:44.55]Cooking dinner.
[05:44.55]做饭时
[05:46.47]- That doesn't seem hygienic. - Yeah, not that one.
[05:46.47]- 好像不太卫生的样子 - 是啊 不要那个
[05:48.95]And now that we're hooking up, we're not fighting anymore.
[05:48.95]现在我们一搞上 就不再吵架了
[05:51.96]Problem solved.
[05:51.96]问题解决了
[05:53.10]Actually, the credit belongs to Barney.
[05:53.10]事实上 这还是Barney的功劳
[05:54.76]This whole idea came out of your thing about world peace.
[05:54.76]这事儿是拜你的世界和平理论所赐啊
[05:57.22]Yeah. Thanks, Barney. You were right. Peace was achieved. Repeatedly.
[05:57.22]没错 谢谢你啊 Barney 你说对了 和平理论是有效的 再次验证了
[06:04.23]So I'm-I'm responsible for...
[06:04.23]这么说是我 我让你们...
[06:07.20]Excellent. Excellent. Excellent.
[06:07.20]好极了 好极了 好极了
[06:12.98]next round's on me!
[06:12.98]下一轮算我的!
[06:19.20]- Hey, are you okay? - Yeah. Why do you ask?
[06:19.20]- 嘿 你没事吧 - 没事 怎么这么问?
[06:22.20]Well, for one thing, you're openly weeping.
[06:22.20]因为你流泪了
[06:25.29]With joy.
[06:25.29]开心的眼泪
[06:27.95]So happy for those two.
[06:27.95]我太为他们两个高兴了
[06:30.37]Barney, admit it.
[06:30.37]Barney 承认吧
[06:32.07]You still have feelings for Robin and this is killing you.
[06:32.07]你对Robin依然有感觉 这事让你伤心透了
[06:35.61]I am totally fine.
[06:35.61]我完全没事
[06:38.46]Now, excuse me for just a minute.
[06:38.46]好了 我失陪一下
[06:53.39]I'm totally fine.
[06:53.39]我完全没事
[06:54.71]Barney, you have to learn how to express these feelings.
[06:54.71]Barney 你要学会释放你的感情
[06:58.08]Maybe you should talk to a psychiatrist.
[06:58.08]去跟心理医生谈谈吧
[07:00.24]Please.
[07:00.24]拜托
[07:01.83]If I'm gonna pay some woman $200 an hour to make me feel better,
[07:01.83]如果我要给个女人 每小时200美元让我感觉好点
[07:05.19]we aren't going to be talking.
[07:05.19]那不可能只谈话
[07:08.06]And we're both going to be on that couch.
[07:08.06]我们都会在那个沙发上
[07:12.24]The woman in this scenario is a prostitute.
[07:12.24]在这个故事里那女人是个妓女
[07:16.80]A dirty, skanky, surgically enhanced, Eastern European...
[07:16.80]一个淫乱的 衣冠不整的 隆过胸的东欧...
[07:20.32]I got it.
[07:20.32]我明白
[07:21.88]And there's something kind of liberating about not taking it all too seriously.
[07:21.88]这种不用当真的关系 还给了我们释放自我的机会
[07:24.48]Yeah. Last night, we actually did it while I was returning a bunch of phone calls.
[07:24.48]昨晚 我边回电话边做了呢
[07:28.85]I knew you didn't get a rowing machine!
[07:28.85]我就知道你没有在用什么划船练习器
[07:34.26]Awesome, we're still talking about this!
[07:34.26]太棒了 这个话题还没完!
[07:37.32]Look, guys, this is a private thing between me and Ted.
[07:37.32]听着 这是我和Ted之间的私事
[07:40.54]Private Thing.
[07:40.54]私事
[07:43.07]We wouldn't even be talking about this if Marshall could read a magazine at work.
[07:43.07]如果不是Marshall不能上班时看杂志 我们都不会谈这件事
[07:47.58]Oh, he's always been this way. Remember law school?
[07:47.58]他就这样 还记得在法学院那时不?
[07:51.44]Sure do.
[07:51.44]当然
[07:55.84]Baby? Baby, what is it?
[07:55.84]宝贝? 宝贝 你怎么了?
[07:59.07]The credit card bill came today.
[07:59.07]信用卡账单今天寄来了
[08:01.93]You checked into a hotel two blocks from school on a Tuesday.
[08:01.93]你星期二时在 隔学校两条街的酒店开了间房
[08:07.27]It's not what you think.
[08:07.27]事情不是你想象那样的
[08:08.95]Who is she, Marshall? What's her name?
[08:08.95]她是谁? Marshall 她叫什么名字?
[08:12.69]Burrito. Carnitas Burrito.
[08:12.69]Burrito Carnitas Burrito(杂志名?)
[08:16.51]So, you checked into a hotel room just so you could read a magazine there?
[08:16.51]这么说你在酒店开房 只是为了可以在那里看杂志?
[08:22.31]Hey, Robin, do you want me to see if the waitress has any giant sugar cubes for that high horse of yours?
[08:22.31]嘿 Robin 不如我帮你看看女侍应那里 有没大方糖喂给你的大马(傲慢的态度)?
[08:27.98]Nobody likes to read a magazine at work and if they say that they do, then they're not human.
[08:27.98]没人喜欢上班时看杂志的 如果有人说喜欢 那他就不是人类了
[08:32.03]Dude, I read a magazine at work every day.
[08:32.03]兄弟 我每天都在上班时看杂志的
[08:35.19]I can't tell you how many meetings I've been late to because I was busy "reading a magazine."
[08:35.19]我因为"看杂志"而迟到的会议不计其数
[08:39.91]But I don't feel bad about it. That's my time.
[08:39.91]可是我从来不内疚 那是我的时间
[08:42.83]Sure, "reading a magazine" ain't pretty, but, you know, it's something I gotta do.
[08:42.83]当然 "看杂志"不怎么光彩 可那是我必须要做的事
[08:48.43]So why be ashamed about it?
[08:48.43]有什么可羞于启齿的
[08:52.18]Wait, "reading a magazine" means masturbating, right?
[08:52.18]等等 "看杂志"的意思就是打飞机 对不?
[08:57.69]I can't believe it. You drank all my milk again!
[08:57.69]太恶劣了 你又喝光我的牛奶
[09:02.17]- We can have sex. - Okay.
[09:02.17]- 来做爱吧 - 没问题
[09:06.36]It's the perfect set up.
[09:06.36]这决定真是太棒了
[09:07.75]Anytime we start getting into an argument, we just have sex instead.
[09:07.75]每次我们要吵架了 就用做爱代替
[09:11.33]One minute we're just laying into each other, and then the next minute...
[09:11.33]一分钟前我们还在干架 而下一分钟后...
[09:14.64]Well, same thing.
[09:14.64]还是在"干架"哦
[09:17.06]Awesome.
[09:17.06]帅啊
[09:21.62]So, this morning, she's yelling at me through the door,
[09:21.62]今天早晨 她在门外吼我
[09:24.02]You're taking too long in the shower!
[09:24.02]你冲凉冲太久啦!
[09:26.11]Next thing I know, she hops in.
[09:26.11]接着 她就自个儿跳进来了
[09:29.45]Now baby don't mind I took my time.
[09:29.45]现在她都不介意我占她时间了
[09:33.50]So awesome.
[09:33.50]太帅了
[09:38.16]Sorry I'm late.
[09:38.16]不好意思我迟到了
[09:39.48]I was just jammin' on Scherbatsky.
[09:39.48]刚刚在Scherbatsky那儿"堵塞"了一下
[09:41.70]She used up all my stamps, so long story short, the postman rang twice.
[09:41.70]她用光了我的邮票 然后长话短说 邮递员都"敲"两次门了
[09:46.60]You must bump this!
[09:46.60]一定要贺一下吧!
[09:49.69]That's just so...
[09:49.69]真是太...
[09:54.66]Excuse me for a second.
[09:54.66]失陪一会
[10:07.92]So, you're saying plasmas are better for low light, but LCDs are better for games?
[10:07.92]你是说等离子适合于低光环境 而液晶就适合打游戏咯?
[10:12.45]Right, but the CRTs have the truest blacks.
[10:12.45]没错 不过彩显黑色还原性好
[10:17.03]So, if I want a really crisp contrast ratio...
[10:17.03]如果说我追求明晰的对比率的话...
[10:19.77]The CRT's deep-pixel cell structure produces a resolution you just can't match with an LCD.
[10:19.77]彩显的单元像素结构 表现出来的分辨率绝对比不上液晶
[10:25.94]I'll take the CRT.
[10:25.94]那我要彩显
[10:31.44]Barney, this is nuts.
[10:31.44]Barney 真是太疯狂了
[10:33.24]I'm doing just fine, thank you.
[10:33.24]我没事儿 谢谢
[10:35.02]No, you're not.
[10:35.02]不 你的问题很严重
[10:36.77]You need to learn to let this stuff out.
[10:36.77]你要学会放手
[10:39.33]Like we do in my kindergarten class Feelings Hour every Tuesday morning.
[10:39.33]就像我幼稚园班里 每星期二早上的"释放感情时间"一样
[10:43.86]Look, Lily, maybe your kindergartners are upset that
[10:43.86]听着 Lily 你幼稚园的小朋友
[10:46.26]their friends are sleeping with each other, but not me.
[10:46.26]也许会因为他们的朋友 互相搞上了而心烦 但我不会
[10:50.09]I have never been better.
[10:50.09]我好得不得了
[10:51.99]Meanwhile, Marshall was still struggling at work.
[10:51.99]与此同时 Marshall依然在工作岗位上挣扎着
[10:55.57]Coming through.
[10:55.57]都过来看看呐
[10:56.85]Big breakfast this morning.
[10:56.85]今早加餐咯
[10:58.46]You know what that means.
[10:58.46]你们知道这是什么意思
[11:01.50]But then came the best news he'd heard in a long time.
[11:01.50]然后传来了他听说已久的好消息
[11:04.42]And did you hear?
[11:04.42]你听说了吗?
[11:05.60]They laid off everybody on the eighth floor.
[11:05.60]他们八楼办公室的人全被炒了
[11:07.80]I know. It's a ghost town down there.
[11:07.80]我知道 现在那儿就是一座空城了
[11:35.59]- Morning. - Morning.
[11:35.59]- 早 - 早
[11:37.09]Hey, that was fun last night.
[11:37.09]嘿 昨晚真刺激
[11:38.87]Word, that was a good one.
[11:38.87]没错 昨晚确实很享受
[11:40.98]Mental note: don't throw out the pizza box more often.
[11:40.98]牢记在心: 别总将披萨盒乱扔
[11:45.23]All right, see you later.
[11:45.23]好了 再见
[11:59.78]So, last night, Robin left a pizza box out on the floor, so we had sex three times.
[11:59.78]昨晚 Robin把披萨盒扔在地上 所以我们就做了3回
[12:03.40]Sure.
[12:03.40]嗯哈
[12:04.52]And then, this morning before I left for we kissed.
[12:04.52]然后 今早我走的时候 我们亲吻了
[12:07.97]Ooh, that's weird.
[12:07.97]哦 太奇怪了
[12:09.35]That is weird.
[12:09.35]太奇怪了
[12:11.11]Right? That kiss violated the spirit of our whole arrangement.
[12:11.11]是吧? 这个吻毁了我们的约法三章
[12:14.54]I meanI mean, she probably thinks I'm getting feelings for her.
[12:14.54]我是说 她可能会觉得我开始对她有感觉了
[12:17.13]Well, are you?
[12:17.13]那么 你是不是真这样呢?
[12:18.70]Yes, I'm in love with her.
[12:18.70]没错 我爱上她了
[12:21.89]Is what you-- That's you, dude.
[12:21.89]这不是你要说的-- 是说你啦 伙计
[12:25.61]No. It didn't mean anything.
[12:25.61]不 这不能代表什么
[12:27.20]It was just some leftover reflex from when we were a couple.
[12:27.20]这只是我们作为恋人时余留下来的 条件反射罢了
[12:30.34]But I think I probably blew it.
[12:30.34]但我还以为我早就忘得干净了
[12:32.53]Definitely. It is so over.
[12:32.53]当然咯 一切都~结束了
[12:37.58]Hold the phone. Maybe Robin didn't think it was weird.
[12:37.58]等等 也许Robin觉得这不奇怪呢
[12:40.14]It was weird. Weird, weird, weird, weird, weird.
[12:40.14]这太奇怪了 很奇怪 奇怪 奇怪
[12:43.90]W-I-E-R-D. Weird.
[12:43.90]C-i G-u-a-i 奇怪
[12:46.81]That's not how you spell "weird."
[12:46.81]'奇怪"可不是这么拼的T
[12:48.33]Come on, Lily. Nobody likes a Ted.
[12:48.33]好啦 Lily 你可别学Ted啥都这么计较
[12:50.77]I tried to warn you.
[12:50.77]我提醒过你的
[12:52.24]When exes relapse, someone always gets hurt.
[12:52.24]一旦"旧情复燃' 就会有人被烧到的
[12:55.66]But no one listened. Story of my life.
[12:55.66]但没人听我的 总是这样的遭遇
[12:58.31]My cuteness interferes with people hearing my message.
[12:58.31]我可爱的外表让大家不相信我的忠谏
[13:01.62]Well, what should I do?
[13:01.62]那么 我该怎么办呢?
[13:02.93]There's only one thing to do.
[13:02.93]只有一个办法
[13:04.80]You have to stop sleeping together, please.
[13:04.80]你俩不能再上床了 求你们了
[13:08.57]I think we have to stop sleeping together.
[13:08.57]我觉得我们不能再上床了
[13:10.64]With me and Ted, it's like cigarettes.
[13:10.64]我和Ted 就像吸烟一样
[13:13.65]You have one when you're drunk and you think it's fine.
[13:13.65]你酒醉了 吸一只 觉得没事
[13:15.80]But before you know it, you're buying a carton a week.
[13:15.80]但到你发现时 你一周都要买一箱的烟了
[13:18.96]I think I have to end it.
[13:18.96]我觉得我要结束这种状况了
[13:20.60]Yup. I have to end it.
[13:20.60]没错 我要结束这种状况了
[13:22.87]So... We're ending it, huh?
[13:22.87]那么... 我们以后不这样了 对吧?
[13:25.92]I think so, yeah.
[13:25.92]对的 没错
[13:27.69]It's probably for the best.
[13:27.69]这样对彼此都好
[13:29.52]- It was fun, but I don't want things to get weird. - Me neither.
[13:29.52]- 那样很好 但我不想觉得别扭 - 我也是
[13:33.02]- Roomies? - Roomies.
[13:33.02]- 只当室友? - 只当室友
[13:38.47]Robin!
[13:38.47]Robin!
[13:40.00]But we tell no one. Deal?
[13:40.00]咱别跟别人说 好吗?
[13:42.48]- Deal. - Deal.
[13:42.48]- 一言为定 - 一言为定
[13:44.04]- Dude! - Come on!
[13:44.04]- 伙计! - 够了!
[13:45.67]What is the matter with you?
[13:45.67]你俩怎么回事啊?
[13:49.55]That one.
[13:49.55]买那个
[13:53.70]So, that didn't last long.
[13:53.70]但是 这次是草草了事的
[13:56.49]By the way, Marshall, what were you doing back in our apartment?
[13:56.49]顺便一问 Marshall 你在我们的公寓里干嘛啊?
[13:59.58]I thought you had the perfect situation.
[13:59.58]我还以为你找到完美的地方了
[14:02.44]I did.
[14:02.44]确实是
[14:04.11]Everything was going great.
[14:04.11]一切都进展得很顺利
[14:05.52]I was feeling more comfortable, more confident.
[14:05.52]我觉得很舒服 自信满满
[14:09.13]I felt I could take on the world.
[14:09.13]我觉得自己可以掌握世界
[14:12.39]One morning, I took my magazine down to the eighth floor.
[14:12.39]一天早晨 我拿了本杂志下到8楼去
[14:20.22]We gotta gut this whole place.
[14:20.22]我们要把这屋都整修一番
[14:21.85]I need these walls taken out here and here.
[14:21.85]我们要把这面墙的这处和那处砸开
[14:26.44]- You got it. - All right.
[14:26.44]- 你说得对 - 好了
[14:31.08]Celebrities pick up their dry cleaning?
[14:31.08]名人都热衷自己拿干洗的衣服?
[14:33.47]I pick up my dry cleaning. Don't come in!
[14:33.47]我也是哦 别砸进来!
[14:37.98]So that didn't last long.
[14:37.98]所以那种飘飘然感觉没持续多久
[14:42.71]- Oh, thanks. - What are you doing?
[14:42.71]- 哦 多谢 - 你在干嘛?
[14:45.18]Oh, well, since all these roomie squabbles are still causing friction between you and Robin,
[14:45.18]哦 既然这些室友间鸡毛蒜皮的琐事 让你和Robin之间起摩擦
[14:49.67]I thought I'd help out.
[14:49.67]我想我能帮下忙
[14:50.99]Oh, BTW, I went by the post office today.
[14:50.99]哦 顺便说一下 我今天去了趟邮局
[14:53.28]I picked you up some stamps.
[14:53.28]我给你买了些邮票
[14:54.50]Here's ten thousand. That oughta do ya.
[14:54.50]1万枚 这应该够你用了
[14:56.93]Um, okay. Thanks, I guess.
[14:56.93]呣 好吧 多谢 我想够了
[14:59.91]- Hey, uh, you want a beer? - Okay.
[14:59.91]- 嘿 你要喝啤酒吗? - 好的
[15:04.64]Yeah, I picked those up on the way over. It was nothing.
[15:04.64]没错 我顺路买的 别客气
[15:08.68]Did you buy us a dishwasher?
[15:08.68]你给我们买了个洗碗机?
[15:11.20]No. That dishwasher's always been there. How long have you lived here?
[15:11.20]没有 这个洗碗机本来就有的 你在这儿住了多久了?
[15:21.10]So, you're doing all this to keep me and Robin from fighting, huh?
[15:21.10]那么 你做这些 就是为了阻止我跟Robin吵架啊?
[15:25.05]Exactly. I worry about you two.
[15:25.05]事实上 我很担心你们
[15:30.17]It bothers you that Robin and I are hooking up, doesn't it?
[15:30.17]我和Robin上床让你不爽了 对吧?
[15:33.63]No. Not at all. That's crazy.
[15:33.63]没有 没有的事 你真扯
[15:38.85]What?
[15:38.85]干嘛?
[15:42.58]Are you in love with Robin?
[15:42.58]你爱上Robin了?
[15:50.84]You're in love with Robin.
[15:50.84]你竟然爱上Robin了
[15:52.66]That's why you don't want us hooking up.
[15:52.66]这就是你为啥不愿我俩搞在一起
[15:54.47]What? That is crazy talk.
[15:54.47]什么? 这真是荒谬的问话
[15:56.89]Can't a bro clean another bro's apartment like bros do?
[15:56.89]我作为你兄弟就不能像其他兄弟们一样 给你收拾房间吗?
[16:01.83]Name me one bro in the history of bros who has ever done that.
[16:01.83]给我说出一个这样干过的兄弟名字
[16:08.21]I'll name two: Misters Clean and Belvedere.
[16:08.21]我能说出2个: 清洁工先生和Belvedere清洁剂
[16:13.86]Look, this thing with me and Robin, it's totally casual.
[16:13.86]听着 我和Robin的事 都是闹着玩儿的
[16:16.97]I'm not gonna freak out if you tell me you have feelings for her.
[16:16.97]如果你告诉我你对她有感觉 我也不会怎么样的
[16:19.10]So, do you?
[16:19.10]那么 你对她有感觉吗?
[16:20.51]No. No, I don't. I don't, no. I don't. I don't. No.
[16:20.51]不 不 我没有 我没有 不 我没有 我没有 不
[16:24.24]Robin is all yours, dude. Have fun with her.
[16:24.24]Robin一直都是你的 伙计 祝你俩愉快
[16:27.58]Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go sleep with other girls.
[16:27.58]现在 如果你不介意的话 我要去睡别的女孩儿了
[16:32.52]Are you sure?
[16:32.52]你确定吗?
[16:33.78]- Yes! - Positive?
[16:33.78]- 对! - 肯定?
[16:35.78]Absolutely.
[16:35.78]当然
[16:39.98]And then I stormed out.
[16:39.98]然后我冲出去了
[16:42.05]Why did I do that?
[16:42.05]我为啥要那么做?
[16:44.47]I mean, maybe it goes back to my father issues, but...
[16:44.47]我的意思是 也许这得追溯到我老爸 但是...
[16:47.34]I basically gave my best friend license to have sex with the girl of my dreams.
[16:47.34]我给最好的哥们许可证 让他跟我心爱的女孩上床
[16:53.00]I totally sabotaged myself.
[16:53.00]我毁了自己
[16:56.90]And now I'm smoking. Now I'm smoking.
[16:56.90]现在我还抽烟了 我抽烟了
[17:00.53]Get out.
[17:00.53]滚出去
[17:03.16]But it's feelings hour and I'm holding Feely the Share Bear.
[17:03.16]但是这是我的分享时间哎 我还拿着分享感受小熊呢
[17:07.11]And whoever's holding Feely the Share Bear gets to sit in the share chair.
[17:07.11]谁拿到了"分享感受小熊" 谁就得坐到椅子上说故事
[17:10.49]Barney, this is not your private therapist's office.
[17:10.49]Barney 这可不是你的私人医生的办公室啊
[17:14.17]These kids have issues to talk about, too, you know.
[17:14.17]这些孩子也有故事要说呢 你该晓得的
[17:17.32]Ben's parents are getting divorced.
[17:17.32]Ben的父母要离婚了
[17:19.52]They are?
[17:19.52]真的?
[17:21.52]Who wants to do some coloring?
[17:21.52]谁想画蜡笔画啊?
[17:27.30]Oh, great, did Lily send you?
[17:27.30]哦 很好 是Lily派你来的?
[17:29.05]I don't have the bear, okay?
[17:29.05]我没拿那只小熊 好吧?
[17:31.45]I'm not giving it back!
[17:31.45]我不会还回去的!
[17:34.39]Why are you smiling?
[17:34.39]你是在笑吗?
[17:36.14]Oh, I just... read a magazine.
[17:36.14]哦 我只是... 读了一本杂志
[17:40.48]Here at work.
[17:40.48]上班的时候
[17:42.21]- What? - Yeah. It's the funniest thing.
[17:42.21]- 什么? - 没错 这真是最棒的事了
[17:44.78]I was online, looking up rates for hotels when I realized something.
[17:44.78]当时我在上网 查酒店的价钱 突然我意识到一个问题
[17:49.62]This is stupid.
[17:49.62]这样太蠢了
[17:51.85]I decided it was time to let go of my hang-ups and do the thing I gotta do
[17:51.85]我决定抛开手头的活儿 去做我想做的事
[17:56.63]and once I made that decision, everything changed.
[17:56.63]在我做了这个决定后 一切都变了
[18:02.98]There's a young man who's comfortable with who he is.
[18:02.98]这年轻人敢于承担他的所作所为
[18:10.92]I know what you're about to do and I respect you for it.
[18:10.92]我知道你要做什么 我尊敬你的行为
[18:15.66]Hey, Eriksen. Go the distance.
[18:15.66]嘿 Eriksen 去远点的地儿看去
[18:26.09]Marshall, you made a brave step today.
[18:26.09]Marshall 今天你跨出了勇敢的一步
[18:30.14]Remember what Shakespeare wrote: Virtue is bold, and goodness never fearful.
[18:30.14]记住莎士比亚说的: 美德是勇敢的 为善则无所畏惧
[18:36.02]You're right, Super Hot Lady Who My Wife Keeps Telling Me Why You're Famous But I Keep Forgetting.
[18:36.02]你说的没错 你这个我老婆跟我提过千回
[18:39.98]但我还是忘了你为何出名的超级性感小妞 (封面是金·卡戴珊 当今美国最红的性感宝贝 是帕丽斯·希尔顿的闺密)
[18:41.99]- Let's do this. - Lead the way.
[18:41.99]- 咱就干吧 - 请带路吧
[18:49.19]Wow, Marshall. Congratulations.
[18:49.19]哇 Marshall 恭喜你啊
[18:51.85]Thanks. I was gonna have to do it eventually.
[18:51.85]多谢 我最后不得不这么做
[18:53.96]You know, sometimes you just gotta... you gotta man up and...
[18:53.96]你知道 有时你必须... 你必须要男人一点...
[18:57.29]and just go for it.
[18:57.29]勇敢地去试试
[19:00.74]Marshall, I have to go.
[19:00.74]Marshall 我要走了
[19:04.48]Oh, by the way, I have a bathroom here if you ever want to use it.
[19:04.48]哦 顺便一提 我这儿有个洗手间 你爱用就用
[19:11.82]Son of a...
[19:11.82]你个够娘养...
[19:13.73]Ted, I have to tell you the truth.
[19:13.73]Ted 我要告诉你真相
[19:15.77]I'm in love with... tacos.
[19:15.77]我爱上了... 墨西哥夹饼
[19:19.80]- What are you doing? - I'm, uh, taking out the triz-ash.
[19:19.80]- 你要干嘛? - 我 呣 倒点垃圾啊
[19:22.87]If you're, uh, looking for Ted, he left.
[19:22.87]如果你啊 要找Ted的话 他出去了
[19:26.00]And, uh... our little arrangement is, uh, over, by the way.
[19:26.00]还有 呣... 我们之间的约定也结束了 顺带一说
[19:31.63]Really? That's aws... ful.
[19:31.63]真的? 那真是太帅...衰了
[19:34.38]- Awfsful? - Yeah, it's just awfsful.
[19:34.38]- 太帅衰了? - 没错 就是太帅衰了
[19:38.72]What happened?
[19:38.72]怎么回事?
[19:39.59]Ah, he just insisted.
[19:39.59]啊 是他坚持的
[19:41.23]He said he couldn't do it anymore because someone's gonna get hurt.
[19:41.23]他说他不能这样做 因为有人会伤心的
[19:44.87]I think we all know who he meant by that.
[19:44.87]我想我们都知道他说的谁吧
[19:47.99]Do we?
[19:47.99]是吗?
[19:50.47]Isn't it obvious?
[19:50.47]这不是很明显了吗?
[19:52.87]- Is it? - Yeah.
[19:52.87]- 是吗? - 没错
[19:55.42]It's Ted. You know what a romantic he is.
[19:55.42]就是Ted他自己啊 你也知道他是个浪漫主义者
[19:58.50]He can't separate the physical from the emotional.
[19:58.50]他根本没法区分肉欲与精神之爱
[20:01.15]- He's all like... - I love you.
[20:01.15]- 他就像是... - 我爱你
[20:02.87]Exactly. He's not like you, you know?
[20:02.87]实际上 他跟你不一样 你知道吧?
[20:07.33]Besides, we're friends.
[20:07.33]而且 我们是朋友啊
[20:08.82]I don't want to screw that up by getting involved.
[20:08.82]我可不想陷进去 把事情搞砸了
[20:12.13]Dating friends never works out.
[20:12.13]跟朋友约会不会有好结果的
[20:15.59]So, uh, you want to get a taco?
[20:15.59]那么 你想去吃墨西哥夹饼?
[20:19.62]A taco?
[20:19.62]墨西哥夹饼?
[20:20.98]You love them, remember?
[20:20.98]你爱吃啊 忘啦?
[20:23.45]Right.
[20:23.45]没错
[20:25.45]Come on, I'm hungry.
[20:25.45]来吧 我饿了
[20:37.15]So Robin and I went back to just being roommates and things went back to normal.
[20:37.15]所以我和Robin又恢复到单纯室友的身份 一切回归正常
[20:42.00]Your Aunt Lily was right.
[20:42.00]你们的Lily阿姨说的没错
[20:43.80]When two exes decide to just be casual, someone always gets hurt.
[20:43.80]当两位旧情人旧情复燃时 有人会受伤了
[20:50.33]It just wasn't one of us.
[20:50.33]虽然说的并不是我们俩