老爸老妈的浪漫史第四季16

[00:00.63]Back 2009, your aunt Robin got a job hosting a morning show.
[00:00.63]2009年 你们的Robin阿姨得到一份 主持早间节目的工作
[00:04.44]Which meant she had to get up kind of early.
[00:04.44]这意味着她要早起
[00:06.48]How early?
[00:06.48]有多早呢?
[00:09.55]Morning,everybody.
[00:09.55]大家早
[00:10.73]Hey,Robin.
[00:10.73]嘿 Robin
[00:12.84]So you're actually doing it,huh?
[00:12.84]你真的这么干了 啊?
[00:14.39]You're actually going to work at 2:00 a.m.
[00:14.39]你真是凌晨2点就去上班啊
[00:17.08]I'm not doing it for me. I'm doing it for the fans.
[00:17.08]我做这些可不是为了自己 是为了我的粉丝
[00:19.98]Who exactly are the fans of a show that airs at 4:00 in the morning?
[00:19.98]谁会是凌晨4点播出的节目的粉丝啊?
[00:23.58]People getting up to host a show at 5:00 in the morning?
[00:23.58]凌晨5点的节目主持人吧?
[00:26.50]Meth addicts who haven't sold their TVs yet?
[00:26.50]还没电视卖了的瘾君子?
[00:29.07]Strippers in that messy gray area between getting off work and getting their kids up for school?
[00:29.07]刚刚下班 还没叫醒孩子上学的脱衣舞女?
[00:33.92]Them's my peeps.
[00:33.92]反正他们支持我
[00:35.44]All right, catch me up. What's been going on?
[00:35.44]好啦 告诉我 最近有啥好玩的吗?
[00:37.89]You know,the yoozh.
[00:37.89]你知道的 平平淡淡而已
[00:40.37]Really,the yoozh? Yes.
[00:40.37]- 真的吗 平平淡淡? - 没错
[00:42.31]Robin,think of the funniest thing that has ever happened.
[00:42.31]Robin 想着你见过的最滑稽的事
[00:45.76]Got it.
[00:45.76]明白了
[00:46.56]Now double that.
[00:46.56]想象比这双倍的滑稽
[00:48.50]So a chimpanzee wearing two tuxedos?
[00:48.50]一头黑猩猩穿了两件晚礼服?
[00:52.41]Something even funnier than that happens to Marshall today.
[00:52.41]Marshall今天发生了比这还搞笑的事
[00:56.21]Okay,first of all,there's nothing funnier than that.
[00:56.21]好的 首先 没有比这更搞笑的了
[00:58.76]Second of all,look, it's not that good a story.
[00:58.76]然后 瞧 这并不是什么好故事
[01:02.46]Oh,come on,you guys.
[01:02.46]哦 好啦 大伙
[01:03.89]You're four young active people living in the most exciting city on earth.
[01:03.89]你们这四个住在地球上最棒的城市里 年轻活泼的家伙们
[01:08.30]You telling me you have no stories for me?
[01:08.30]你们竟没啥好玩的事要跟我说?
[01:10.07]What can I say? Some weeks are just like that.
[01:10.07]我能说啥呢? 这几周就是这么过的
[01:12.42]It's the same thing over and over.
[01:12.42]每天重复一样的事
[01:15.20]A kid in my class ate some paste.
[01:15.20]我班里的一个小孩喝了一些胶水
[01:17.11]I used deceitful means to hook up with a less-than-intelligent girl.
[01:17.11]我耍伎俩骗一个傻妞跟我约会
[01:21.48]My ex-girlfriend Karen moved to town.
[01:21.48]我的前女友Karen搬到城里来了
[01:23.33]It's just, it's all the same,Robin.
[01:23.33]就是 就是没啥新鲜的 Robin
[01:25.13]Karen's in town?
[01:25.13]Karen搬来城里了?
[01:26.91]- You have got to be kidding me! - No!
[01:26.91]- 你不是开玩笑的吧! - 不!
[01:28.98]Kids,I think I've told you about Karen.
[01:28.98]孩子们 我想我跟你们提过Karen了
[01:31.49]She was my girlfriend in high school, and intermittently through college.
[01:31.49]她是我高中的女友 我们分分合合
[01:35.13]She was beautiful,smart.
[01:35.13]她很漂亮 人又聪明
[01:37.32]I was madly in love with her.
[01:37.32]我非常爱她
[01:39.13]The only problem was, Marshall and Lily were not.
[01:39.13]但问题是 Marshall和Lily不喜欢她
[01:42.50]I think it had something to do with every time Karen opened her mouth.
[01:42.50]我想这跟Karen的这张嘴有关系
[01:45.71]I love that you guys live in a dorm. It's so American.
[01:45.71]我喜欢你们住在这种集体宿舍里 这真是美国特色的啊
[01:49.44]It's like,let's all eat baloney sandwiches and be racist.
[01:49.44]感觉就像我们都吃着三明治 搞起种族歧视来（美国特色）
[01:54.77]Oh,my God,she was such a douche.
[01:54.77]哦 天啊 她简直就是个垃圾
[01:57.14]Dude,she was the heiress to the Massengill fortune.
[01:57.14]伙计 她简直是Massengill的继承人 （暗喻Karen嘴贱）
[02:00.51]She really wasn't that bad.
[02:00.51]她没那么坏
[02:02.18]Of courseyouthink that.
[02:02.18]你当然这么想啦
[02:03.82]She turned you into one of her douche zombies.
[02:03.82]她把你也给带坏了
[02:06.83]I want to eat your brain, but only if it's organic and grass-fed.
[02:06.83]我要吃掉你的脑袋 只吃有机和喂草长成的
[02:13.92]What?
[02:13.92]什么啊?
[02:15.47]Will you pass the salt?
[02:15.47]给我递一下盐好吗?
[02:17.31]Salt?
[02:17.31]盐?
[02:19.13]So bourgeois.
[02:19.13]真小资
[02:21.85]Totally.
[02:21.85]没错
[02:26.24]What's that thing?
[02:26.24]那是什么?
[02:28.24]That's a TV,Karen.
[02:28.24]那是电视机 Karen
[02:32.26]I don't watch TV.
[02:32.26]我不看电视的
[02:34.81]Totally.
[02:34.81]没错
[02:37.36]You thought I actually bought tickets to WrestleMania?
[02:37.36]你真以为我买了票去看摔角狂热赛?
[02:40.46]I was being ironic.
[02:40.46]我说的反话而已
[02:43.09]Totally.
[02:43.09]没错
[02:44.96]I know that you were being ironic.
[02:44.96]我知道你说的是反话
[02:50.54]I too am being ironic.
[02:50.54]我这样也不过是为了嘲讽一下而已
[02:54.49]Let's do this!
[02:54.49]咱们冲吧!
[02:58.22]What?
[02:58.22]什么?
[02:59.80]That makeup didn't come off for a month.
[02:59.80]那身装扮我花了一个月才洗下来
[03:01.98]I had to meet Lily's parents that way.
[03:01.98]我那时还要去见Lily的父母
[03:03.62]I've never looked like a bigger jackass.
[03:03.62]我从没那么白痴过
[03:05.28]Until today.
[03:05.28]直到今天为止
[03:06.50]Tell the story. Tell the story. Tell the story...
[03:06.50]讲你的故事 讲你的故事 讲你的故事...
[03:08.86]Just let it go!
[03:08.86]就放过我吧!
[03:10.02]Well,hold on. Is it really funny?
[03:10.02]哦 够了 这很好玩吗?
[03:12.36]Robin,I am not kidding you.
[03:12.36]Robin 我可不是唬你啊
[03:14.95]I almost don't want you to hear it, because seriously, for the rest of your life,
[03:14.95]我都不想让你听它 因为真的 你这一生中
[03:20.75]nothing else will ever be as funny and you will curse yourself
[03:20.75]都不会再遇到比这更搞笑的事了 你会诅咒自己的
[03:24.75]for agreeing to ever hear it in the first place.
[03:24.75]咒骂自己为啥一开始要听这个事
[03:27.97]But seriously,you got to hear it. It's so funny.
[03:27.97]但说真的 你一定要听 真的很搞笑
[03:31.37]Fine.
[03:31.37]好吧
[03:32.82]I was at the company gym this morning playing basketball.
[03:32.82]今早我在公司的球馆打篮球
[03:36.05]The guys I work with can be pretty brutal with their ridicule.
[03:36.05]我的同事挖苦人可是一点不留情的
[03:39.23]Hey,look at Wisniewski.
[03:39.23]嘿 瞧Wisniewski那孬样
[03:41.73]He's gonna cry. Look at him.
[03:41.73]他要哭鼻子了 瞧他
[03:43.11]Yeah,look at him.
[03:43.11]瞧他那样
[03:44.67]I don't know. I don't think knees aren't supposed to bend that way.
[03:44.67]我不明白 我觉得膝盖也许真扭伤了
[03:46.90]I think he might have tore his ACL.
[03:46.90]我想他可能伤到前交叉韧带了
[03:49.24]Bro,the only thing that guy tore was his cervix or maybe his hymen.
[03:49.24]伙计 他伤到的只能是子宫颈和处女膜吧
[03:52.81]Or his Fallopian tube. Boom!
[03:52.81]或者是输卵管吧 嘣!
[03:57.78]I may have cleaned up the dialogue a little bit.
[03:57.78]我已经对对话进行过过滤处理
[04:00.23]Anyways...
[04:00.23]然后...
[04:01.40]I go to my duffle bag to get out my work clothes...
[04:01.40]我拿起储物袋子取出工作服...
[04:04.12]Wait,wait,wait,wait. I want to say it. I want to say it. I want to say it.
[04:04.12]等等等等 让我来说 让我来说 让我来说
[04:07.25]Fine. You say it.
[04:07.25]好吧 你说吧
[04:09.03]Marshall goes to his duffle bag to get out his work clothes, and...
[04:09.03]Marshall拿起储物袋子取出他的工作服 然后...
[04:13.20]No,no,no, you say it. It's funnier if you say it.
[04:13.20]不不不不 你来说吧 你说起来更搞笑
[04:16.20]No,let me say it. No,no,you say it. You say it. Say it.
[04:16.20]不 让我来说 不不不 你来说吧 你说 你说吧
[04:21.10]Same time.
[04:21.10]从刚才那里说起
[04:23.05]No,no,no,you go. You go.
[04:23.05]不不不不 你说 你说
[04:26.05]- I forgot... - Marshall forgot his pants!
[04:26.05]- 我忘了... - Marshall忘了拿裤子!
[04:37.83]He forgot his pants.
[04:37.83]他忘了拿裤子
[04:53.62]How I Met Your Mother Season04 Episode16
[04:53.62]老爸老妈浪漫史 第四季第16集 [04:55.62]Okay,Marshall forgot his pants. That's pretty funny.
[04:55.62]好吧 Marshall没穿裤子 真好笑啊
[04:59.15]It's no chimpanzee wearing two tuxedos.
[04:59.15]不如黑猩猩穿两件礼服搞笑
[05:02.03]I mean,what did he... he forgot he put the first one on?
[05:02.03]我是说 它怎么能... 怎么能忘了它已经穿了一件了呢?
[05:06.82]Stupid monkey.
[05:06.82]傻猴子 (汗 是猩猩啊)
[05:09.64]So Karen in New York. Weird,right?
[05:09.64]Karen回到纽约来了 很奇怪 对吧?
[05:12.91]Ted,you cannot get back together with Karen.
[05:12.91]Ted 你不能再吃Karen这棵回头草了啊
[05:15.59]I never said I was going to get back together with her.
[05:15.59]我可没说要跟她旧情复燃啊
[05:17.86]But I was thinking, she's new in town.
[05:17.86]我只是在想 她对城里不熟
[05:19.46]Would it be the worst thing in the world if I gave her a call?
[05:19.46]我给她打个电话也不是什么恐怖的事嘛?
[05:21.30]No,no,Ted,it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.
[05:21.30]不 不 Ted 这不是什么最恐怖的事
[05:23.63]It would be the fourth worst thing.
[05:23.63]这是世上第四大最恐怖的事
[05:25.13]**Super volcano. **An asteroid hits the Earth.
[05:25.13]第一是火山大爆发 第二是行星撞地球
[05:28.30]**All footage of Evel Knievel is lost. **Ted calls Karen.
[05:28.30]第三是电影飞车人生就此失传了 第四是Ted给Karen打电话
[05:32.76]**Lily gets eaten by a shark.
[05:32.76]第五是Lily被鲨鱼吃了
[05:34.94]I'm Lily and I approve the order of that list.
[05:34.94]我就是Lily 我敢保证这个排序的公正性
[05:38.13]You don't know the whole story.
[05:38.13]你们可是不知道内情哇
[05:40.17]Ted and Karen were off and on all through college, and it always went the same way.
[05:40.17]Ted和Karen整日在校园里出双入对 天天如此
[05:44.90]They'd be having fun, douching it up, and then one day...
[05:44.90]他们一起玩 恶心来恶心去的 直到有一天...
[05:48.74]I know you think pepperoni is fascist and you're totally right,so I...
[05:48.74]我知道你认为烤胡椒香肠口味是最棒的 你说得完全没错 所以我...
[05:52.55]Oh,my God! Karen!
[05:52.55]哦 天啊! Karen!
[05:55.79]Sorry,bro.
[05:55.79]对不起啦 老兄
[05:57.94]Before you say anything, I think that you should read Baudelaire's Les Fleurs du Mal.
[05:57.94]在你发飙之前 我想你该去读一读波德莱尔的"恶之花"
[06:05.64]Okay.
[06:05.64]好吧
[06:08.52]So then they break up.
[06:08.52]然后他们分手了
[06:09.71]Ted would be all depressed and we would wait the appropriate amount of time
[06:09.71]Ted很消沉 我们俩在等待时机
[06:13.06]and then we'd would tell him how we really felt.
[06:13.06]然后告诉他我们的看法
[06:15.77]Karen and I broke up.
[06:15.77]我和Karen分手了
[06:16.97]- We hated her! - Bitch had to go!
[06:16.97]- 我们恨死她! - 贱人快滚!
[06:20.48]And then Ted would build up a head of steam and finally take the bus to Providence
[06:20.48]然后他痛下决心 还搭了巴士去普罗维登斯
[06:24.60]to give Karen a piece of his mind.
[06:24.60]去跟Karen摊牌
[06:28.13]- How'd it go? - Great.
[06:28.13]- 怎么样了? - 好极了
[06:31.14]Look who's back.
[06:31.14]看看谁回来了
[06:33.57]- Karen. - Karen.
[06:33.57]- Karen - Karen
[06:36.76]And then,sure enough, the whole thing would start all over again.
[06:36.76]然后 毫无悬念 故事重演
[06:41.76]Make that 10,002 Maniacs, because I got us Natalie Merchant tick...
[06:41.76]发出比"一万个疯子乐队"还疯2回的叫声吧 因为我买到了Natalie Merchant演唱会的门票... (一个著名的摇滚乐队以及主唱)
[06:48.33]Sorry,bro.
[06:48.33]对不起啦 老兄
[06:50.90]So she would come visit you at school and the second you turned your back
[06:50.90]她来学校找你 这次你又不在
[06:53.85]she would bring guys back toyourdorm room?
[06:53.85]她就带男人去你宿舍?
[06:56.48]Respect.
[06:56.48]真牛
[06:57.95]Okay,I was an idiot.
[06:57.95]好啦 我是个白痴
[06:59.69]She was my first real girlfriend. I was madly in love with her.
[06:59.69]她是我的第一个女朋友 我那时很爱很爱她
[07:02.29]We all did stuff we regret in college.
[07:02.29]我们在大学里都干过些后悔的事
[07:05.03]Junior year Marshall grew a soul patch, wore a rasta hat, and asked everyone to call him M.J.Smooth.
[07:05.03]大三时 Marshall交了一个哥们 总戴着一顶棉线帽 让大家管他叫M.J.Smooth (模仿迈克尔.杰克逊的'smooth criminal犯罪高手")
[07:11.11]I don't regret that for one second.
[07:11.11]我可从没为这事后悔过
[07:14.01]So you guys absolutely don't think I should call her?
[07:14.01]你们真的觉得我不该打给她?
[07:16.46]- Ted,no. - Get it through your thick skull.
[07:16.46]- Ted 不要 - 你就断了这念头吧
[07:18.37]Okay,okay,fine, I won't.
[07:18.37]好啦 好啦 我不会的
[07:21.34]Interesting piece of trivia: I called her.
[07:21.34]搞笑的是 我已经打过了
[07:24.02]- You idiot! - What are you doing?
[07:24.02]- 你个白痴! - 你搞什么鬼啊?
[07:25.38]The pants story.
[07:25.38]裤子的事
[07:26.86]I can't believe you called her.
[07:26.86]我真不敢相信你打给她了
[07:28.79]Why don't you just ask her to lunch while you're at it?
[07:28.79]你为啥不干脆在电话里 约她出来吃午饭算了?
[07:31.26]Because,Lily, I'm not going to ask her out to lunch... again.
[07:31.26]因为Lily 我不会叫她出来吃午饭了... 下一次就不会了
[07:37.05]You asked her to lunch?
[07:37.05]你约她吃午饭了?
[07:39.99]Why would anyone want to have lunch with their ex?
[07:39.99]有谁会跟旧情人吃午饭啊?
[07:43.65]Glad you asked,Marshall.
[07:43.65]你这个问题问得好 Marshall
[07:44.65]There are four possible motives behind an "ex lunch."
[07:44.65]有四种原因促使"与旧情人吃午餐"的发生
[07:47.33]They want to get back together.
[07:47.33]第一 他们想复合
[07:50.31]Oh,like my high school boyfriend Scooter.
[07:50.31]哦 跟我的高中男友Scooter一个德行
[07:53.48]Lilies,clever.
[07:53.48]百合啊 真有心 (和Lily名字一样的花)
[07:55.60]I'm sorry I don't have a scooter for you.
[07:55.60]抱歉 我可没有踏板车送给你 (和Scooter一样的名字)
[07:58.49]My God,that's funny! Forgot how funny you are.
[07:58.49]天啊 真搞笑! 都忘了你这么幽默了
[08:03.70]- Where is that waiter? - Why? You like waiters?
[08:03.70]- 服务员在哪儿呢? - 为什么? 你喜欢服务员?
[08:07.41]I can be a waiter.
[08:07.41]我可以去做服务员
[08:09.28]I'm going to be the greatest waiter on this earth, and then you'll love me.
[08:09.28]我要做世上最好的服务员 这样你就会爱我了
[08:14.85]They want to kill you.
[08:14.85]第二 他们想灭了你
[08:17.53]Like when I had lunch with Wendy.
[08:17.53]跟我和Wendy吃午饭一样
[08:19.53]I'm glad we could finally do this.
[08:19.53]我很高兴我们终于可以一起吃饭了
[08:21.79]You know,after the ninth time you rescheduled on me, I almost gave up on you.
[08:21.79]你知道么 当你第九次把我们的约会推后 我都要放弃了
[08:25.93]But you didn't. You just kept on trying.
[08:25.93]但你没有 你坚持不懈
[08:29.76]By the way,there's something I've been meaning to give you.
[08:29.76]另外 我有样东西一直想给你
[08:37.56]Gun! She's got a gun!
[08:37.56]枪! 她有枪!
[08:41.86]It-it's a tie.
[08:41.86]是...是条领带
[08:43.81]They actually do want to give you your stuff back.
[08:43.81]第三 他们想归还你的东西
[08:47.31]Like when I had lunch with Curt.
[08:47.31]像我和Curt吃午餐一样
[08:49.45]By the way,there's something I've been meaning to give you.
[08:49.45]另外 我有样东西要给你
[08:57.95]My snub-nosed. 38 police special!
[08:57.95]我的点38短管左轮手枪!
[09:00.60]I knew I left that somewhere.
[09:00.60]我知道我给弄丢了
[09:03.33]Every time I watch the news, I'm like, "Oops,hope that wasn't my gun."
[09:03.33]每次我看新闻 我都在想 "哦 希望这不是用的我的枪"
[09:08.63]Breaking up was the right choice.
[09:08.63]跟你分手是对的
[09:11.94]Or #4: to rub your face in how great they're doing.
[09:11.94]或者是第四是炫耀他们的近况
[09:16.14]Like my lunch with Nicole Barsamian.
[09:16.14]像我和Nicole Barsamian吃午餐一样
[09:18.61]- Who's Nicole Barsamian? - My ex.
[09:18.61]- Nicole Barsamian是谁? - 我的前女友
[09:22.05]Hello,Nicole.
[09:22.05]你好 Nicole (囧 真有历史)
[09:23.46]You look well,Marshall.
[09:23.46]你看着不错 Marshall (小Marshall好可爱)
[09:25.25]You look okay,I guess.
[09:25.25]你也是 我觉得
[09:28.17]- I'm seeing someone. - Already? Who?
[09:28.17]- 我跟别人约会了 - 这么快? 谁啊 ?
[09:31.18]Lee Roberts. He reads at a fifth grade level.
[09:31.18]Lee Roberts 他能读懂5年级的课本了
[09:38.51]You have to cancel the lunch.
[09:38.51]你一定要取消这个午餐约会
[09:40.38]I would definitely do that, definitely...
[09:40.38]我一定会这么做的 绝对...
[09:42.76]except I already had it.
[09:42.76]可我们已经吃过了
[09:45.75]Robin,I'm going to need to borrow the butt of your gun.
[09:45.75]Robin 我要借你的枪托用用
[09:49.35]I actually lost it again. Can you believe that?
[09:49.35]可我又把弄它丢了 简直难以置信
[09:57.06]How could break bread with that woman?
[09:57.06]咋能和那女人一起用餐呢?
[09:59.61]It was just lunch,and you know she doesn't eat wheat.
[09:59.61]只是午餐 况且她也没吃小麦
[10:03.03]We had a great time catching up.
[10:03.03]我们谈笑风生
[10:04.62]We even laughed about what jerks we were back then.
[10:04.62]甚至还拿以前的幼稚行为开涮
[10:09.38]I can't believe I had a beret for each day of the week.
[10:09.38]真不敢相信我每天都顶着个贝雷帽
[10:12.15]I can't believe I had an iron-on image of Moli? re on my backpack.
[10:12.15]真不敢相信我在背包上 印了个莫里哀(法国喜剧作家 演员)
[10:17.07]Man,we were pretentious.
[10:17.07]哥们 我们那时都自命不凡
[10:19.47]So pretentious.
[10:19.47]太自命不凡了
[10:21.85]What can I get you?
[10:21.85]请问点什么?
[10:26.46]Um, I don't want to cause a scene, but your wine list has a Chteauneuf-du-Pape
[10:26.46]我不想太张扬 但是你们把"教皇新堡"葡萄酒
[10:30.68]listed under the "Ctes du Provence."
[10:30.68]排在了"普罗旺斯山谷"葡萄酒下面
[10:33.14]You might want to alert your sommelier.
[10:33.14]你该提醒下你们的侍酒师
[10:35.88]And for you?
[10:35.88]你呢?
[10:37.77]I hate to go off-menu, but can you bring us somebruschett with freshmozzarell?
[10:37.77]我讨厌看菜单 就来些 意式芝士烤面包?
[10:42.72]Grazie.
[10:42.72]谢谢(意大利语)
[10:45.86]It was great. It was great.
[10:45.86]真不错 真不错
[10:47.49]I mean,there was one weird moment towards the end.
[10:47.49]我是说 其间只有一会儿不自在
[10:50.20]Yeah,how do you say good-bye in those situations?
[10:50.20]嗯 那你当时咋和她告别?
[10:52.26]A kiss on the cheek is too familiar.
[10:52.26]亲下脸蛋太没创意
[10:54.33]A handshake is too formal.
[10:54.33]而握手言别又太正式
[10:55.77]And a hug is just like a public dry hump.
[10:55.77]拥抱就像没快感没创意的性交
[10:59.87]I think you're hugging wrong.
[10:59.87]我觉得你理解错了
[11:02.51]So what happened?
[11:02.51]那咋告别的?
[11:03.97]Well...
[11:03.97]好吧...
[11:05.03]Schopenhauer made a saucy little argument in which he posited...
[11:05.03]叔本华自认为...
[11:10.67]Ted,honey,I want you to go outside and bite the curb. I'll be out in a minute.
[11:10.67]Ted 亲爱的 我要你出去啃路沿 我马上就出来检查
[11:14.12]Hey,Karen was the first girl I ever loved. Okay?
[11:14.12]嘿 Karen是我的初恋 好不?
[11:17.67]And after the year I've had, I - I don't know,
[11:17.67]时隔境迁 我-我不明白
[11:20.36]I guess having lunch with her just reminded me of what it was like to be 18
[11:20.36]也许与她共进午餐 让我回忆起过往的青葱岁月
[11:23.76]and have my whole life figured out.
[11:23.76]并且认清人生的真谛
[11:26.30]And I would like to remind everyone that at least I was wearing pants,Marshall.
[11:26.30]还有我要提醒大家 至少我是穿着裤子 Marshall
[11:31.04]No! No,no,no! You can't just go changing the subject like that.
[11:31.04]不! 不! 你不能这样转变话题
[11:34.80]Oh,yeah,the pants story.
[11:34.80]对呀 裤子糗事
[11:36.55]Pants story bomaye! Pants story bomaye!
[11:36.55]裤子糗事干掉他! 裤子糗事干掉他! (bomaye拳击比赛用语)
[11:39.33]There's no story!
[11:39.33]没啥糗事!
[11:40.63]I had a little situation, so I called Lily.
[11:40.63]我碰到了点状况 所以打Lily电话
[11:43.73]And just refresh us; what was that situation?
[11:43.73]再说遍 啥状况啊?
[11:45.27]I forgot my pants.
[11:45.27]我忘带裤子了
[11:48.49]What do you mean you forgot your pants?
[11:48.49]忘带裤子是啥意思?
[11:50.50]I forgot them.
[11:50.50]我忘记拿了
[11:52.07]Now,I need you to bring me some.
[11:52.07]我要你给我送过来
[11:53.94]What about your spare pants?
[11:53.94]你的备用裤子呢?
[11:55.80]Last Thursday, the mustard incident.
[11:55.80]上周四的芥末事件
[11:57.73]Jeez,woman,you have the memory of a goldfish.
[11:57.73]天哪 你真是个金鱼脑袋 (金鱼的记忆只有3秒)
[11:59.72]No,Ted,you're not getting off that easy.
[11:59.72]不 Ted 你那事绝不会那么简单
[12:02.65]Marshall's pants story, while amusing...
[12:02.65]Marshall的裤子糗事 还有点笑料...
[12:04.70]Amusing? Try very amusing.
[12:04.70]才有点笑料? 是笑爆掉吧
[12:07.38]Is nothing compared to this Karen madness. Finish your story.
[12:07.38]比起Karen的事 这根本不值一提 先把你的故事讲完
[12:11.44]What? That's it. It was just one kiss in the restaurant.
[12:11.44]咋了? 就这些 只是在餐馆里啵了下而已
[12:14.46]Why did you say "in the restaurant?"
[12:14.46]为啥特地指明"在餐馆里"
[12:17.12]Did you kiss somewhere else?
[12:17.12]你们还在哪里啵了?
[12:18.98]Like where,in a tree?
[12:18.98]譬如说 在树上?
[12:21.19]No,Lily,we did not make out in a tree.
[12:21.19]没 Lily 我们可没在树上干
[12:23.97]What's with this one?
[12:23.97]这家伙咋了?
[12:26.20]Oh,Ted. What did you do?
[12:26.20]Ted 你做啥了?
[12:35.65]Ted,how could you?
[12:35.65]Ted 你咋能这样?
[12:37.85]Ted,Marshall forgot to bring his pants to work today,
[12:37.85]Ted 即使Marshall今天忘带裤子上班
[12:41.23]and you're still the stupidest person at this table.
[12:41.23]在我们几个里 你仍旧最傻帽
[12:44.16]Okay,Lily,let's be honest.
[12:44.16]好吧 Lily 老实说
[12:46.46]We both know your real motivation here.
[12:46.46]我们都知道你的真正动机
[12:48.51]You hate Karen because she lingered.
[12:48.51]你很Karen是因为她流连忘返
[12:51.88]You son of a bitch.
[12:51.88]你这狗娘养的
[12:53.96]What do you mean she lingered?
[12:53.96]流连忘返是啥意思?
[12:55.33]February 5,1998. I was painting...
[12:55.33]1998年2月5日 我正在画画...
[13:02.13]Oh,sorry. I... Sorry. I...
[13:02.13]抱歉 我... 抱歉 我...
[13:10.71]You know,that color palette is a bit derivative of early Van Gogh, don't you think?
[13:10.71]你的调色板有梵高早期的风范 你不觉得吗?
[13:19.21]Cheat on Ted, criticize my painting, whatever,that's your business.
[13:19.21]背着Ted乱搞 批评我的画 随她咋样都不关我鸟事
[13:23.32]But I catch you peeping on my man's junk and youlinger?
[13:23.32]但我看见你偷窥我男人的下三寸 还流连忘返?
[13:29.24]You gots to get got.
[13:29.24]真是活腻了
[13:31.87]The game is the game.
[13:31.87]别太较真
[13:34.79]In Karen's defense, I had just worked out.
[13:34.79]容我为Karen找个理由 那时候我刚锻炼完身体
[13:38.29]Why'd you have to paint Marshall nude anyway?
[13:38.29]那你为啥要画Marshall的裸体?
[13:40.21]Because he ate my bowl of fruit.
[13:40.21]因为他吃光了我的水果
[13:42.61]Look,the point is, Karen is a dirty linger,
[13:42.61]听着 重点是Karen色迷迷地流连忘返
[13:46.43]and you cannot bring her back into our lives.
[13:46.43]你不能再把她带到我们的生活中来了
[13:49.03]Relax,it was just that one night!
[13:49.03]放心吧 就那晚而已!
[13:51.54]And the next three after that. And one morning.
[13:51.54]还有之后三晚外加一个早晨
[13:54.10]But at least I had pants on,Marshall.
[13:54.10]但至少我穿着裤子 Marshall
[13:57.39]Although,actually,I didn't.
[13:57.39]事实上 我没穿
[13:58.88]Wait,this happened in our apartment?
[13:58.88]等下 你把她带到我们公寓了?
[14:01.28]Where was I?
[14:01.28]当时我在哪?
[14:02.22]You know those sleeping pills you're taking to keep on your crazy new schedule?
[14:02.22]那些帮你调整新生物钟的安眠药?
[14:05.96]I think they're stronger than you realize.
[14:05.96]我想它们的药劲比你想的强多了
[14:14.91]LaFontaine gets the puck to Turgeon.
[14:14.91]拉方丹把球传给特金
[14:17.51]Turgeon shoots. Glove save.
[14:17.51]特金射门 被守门员接住了
[14:22.27]Hey,Ted. Hey,Lily.
[14:22.27]嘿 Ted 嘿 Lily
[14:24.30]Don't worry. I won't tell Marshall.
[14:24.30]别担心 我不会告诉Marshall的
[14:28.25]I'm gonna grab a beer. You want one?
[14:28.25]我要拿罐啤酒 你要不?
[14:34.84]Beer. I'll start decanting the Bordeaux.
[14:34.84]啤酒 我刚想倒葡萄酒来着
[14:45.08]Ted,sure it's fun to look back at a time when you were a fresh-faced farm girl with a virgin's glow.
[14:45.08]Ted 回想过去确实很有趣 那时你是个散发处女味稚嫩农场妞
[14:51.49]But all that stuff-- Ohio,Karen,college-- all that was BS.
[14:51.49]但那些东西--俄亥俄州 Karen 大学 发生在BS
[14:56.63]"Before Stinson."
[14:56.63]"Stinson出现前"
[14:58.57]Now your life is awesome!
[14:58.57]但现在你生活得丰富多彩!
[15:00.54]I mean,yeah,you still live with your ex-girlfriend, which is ridiculous.
[15:00.54]我是说 你还和 前女友住在一起 真荒唐
[15:04.77]Your laser tag chops are almost nonexistent.
[15:04.77]你的光剑(星球大战中的武器) 虚无缥缈
[15:07.63]And your wardrobe, it's like,what, are you allergic to quality fabrics?
[15:07.63]看看你的衣橱 难道你还对优质面料过敏?
[15:13.11]Seriously,Ted,shape up.
[15:13.11]说真的 Ted 好自为之
[15:16.60]What were we talking about?
[15:16.60]我们说啥来着?
[15:19.05]So what's next with this broad?
[15:19.05]这女人接下来咋了?
[15:20.71]Oh,please, the story's already written.
[15:20.71]拜托 故事已经完了
[15:23.21]Ted is Charlie Brown trying to kick the football and Karen's Lucy,
[15:23.21]Ted是想方设法踢球的 Charlie Brown 而Karen是Lucy
[15:27.23]who pulls it away at the last second and has sex with it.
[15:27.23]在最后关头抢走了球 和它做爱
[15:31.68]You guys know what I mean.
[15:31.68]你们知道我的意思
[15:33.17]Ted's gonna fall in love, and then Karen's gonna cheat on him with some meathead, who's like...
[15:33.17]Ted将会陷入爱河 而Karen 会背着他和那些只会说
[15:38.70]"Sorry,bro."
[15:38.70]"抱歉 伙计"的傻帽乱搞
[15:41.52]Wrong,wrong,wrong!
[15:41.52]错 错 错!
[15:43.66]You must have left the right answer in your pants, Marshall,
[15:43.66]你把正确答案忘在你裤子里了吧 Marshall
[15:45.52]because that's exactly what didn't happen.
[15:45.52]因为事情绝非如此
[15:47.68]Because here's what happened.
[15:47.68]事情是这样的
[15:49.38]One afternoon, we were at Karen's place...
[15:49.38]一天下午 我们在Karen的住所...
[15:52.47]Karen? Oh,my God.
[15:52.47]Karen? 我的天
[15:56.05]How could you?
[15:56.05]你咋能这样?
[16:00.95]Sorry,bro.
[16:00.95]抱歉 伙计
[16:07.09]So this time, the meathead Karen was cheating with
[16:07.09]所以这次 和Karen乱搞的傻帽
[16:09.52]was me,Ted. Me, Ted.
[16:09.52]是我 Ted 我 Ted
[16:14.19]Remember that time Marshall forgot his pants?
[16:14.19]记得Marshall忘带裤子吗?
[16:16.20]Damn it,Ted!
[16:16.20]妈的 Ted!
[16:17.33]You quit trying to change the subject. You crossed the line.
[16:17.33]别再转变话题 你太过分了
[16:20.48]You are complicit in breaking some poor guy's heart.
[16:20.48]你们合伙伤害了那可怜人的心
[16:23.85]And you, you of all people know exactly how that feels.
[16:23.85]而你 是所有人里最明白其中滋味的
[16:29.21]- You really don't want to tell the pants story,do you? - What?
[16:29.21]- 你真的不想说裤子糗事 对不? - 啥?
[16:31.42]Pants,pants,pants,pants,pants, pants,pants, pants,pants,p-p...
[16:31.42]裤子 裤子 裤子 裤...
[16:34.38]Fine! Okay?
[16:34.38]好吧! 好
[16:36.22]So,Lily came down to the office to bring me my pants...
[16:36.22]然后 Lily来办公室帮我送裤子..
[16:39.49]And why did she have to do that?
[16:39.49]那她为啥要这么做?
[16:40.46]Because I forgot my pants.
[16:40.46]因为我忘带裤子了
[16:44.20]Lily,what are you doing here?
[16:44.20]Lily 你在这干吗?
[16:45.89]Oh,I'm here to give Marshall something.
[16:45.89]我来给Marshal送点东西
[16:48.82]Here togivehim something. Gotcha. Nice.
[16:48.82]来这给他送点东西 明白 很好
[16:52.40]Yeah,but I-I'm in a hurry. Can I just give it to you?
[16:52.40]嗯 但我赶时间 给你成吗?
[16:57.79]Sure,okay.
[16:57.79]成啊 好吧
[17:00.08]A - And then you'll give it to him?
[17:00.08]然后你转交给他?
[17:02.59]Wait,oh,hey. I don't know about all that.
[17:02.59]等下 嘿 我不太明白
[17:05.49]I mean,yours would have to be really good.
[17:05.49]我是说 你得很厉害才行
[17:09.34]- What are you talking about? - What are you talking about?
[17:09.34]- 你在说啥呢? - 你在说啥?
[17:11.90]M - Marshall forgot his pants, so I'm bringing him a new pair.
[17:11.90]Marshall忘带裤子了 我给他送来一条
[17:17.52]Marshall forgot his pants.
[17:17.52]Marshall忘带裤子了
[17:19.15]Well,it's a good thing that you came by because he has a really important meeting today,
[17:19.15]你过来得真是时候 他今天有个重要会议要开
[17:24.13]and it would be pretty embarrassing and not at all funny
[17:24.13]要是他不穿裤子开会
[17:28.07]if he were to show up not wearing pants.
[17:28.07]就不是闹笑话的问题了 简直会颜面扫地
[17:30.85]- So I'll make sure he gets these. - Great. Thanks,Barney.
[17:30.85]- 我保证送到他手里 - 太好了 谢谢 Barney
[17:36.42]And you didn't give him his pants.
[17:36.42]但你没给他裤子
[17:38.45]Theodore Evelyn Mosby.
[17:38.45]Theodore Evelyn Mosby
[17:40.63]Of course I gave him his pants. I gave Lily my word. My word is oak.
[17:40.63]我当然给他裤子啦 我向Lily保证过的 一诺千金
[17:45.82]Though I did make some alterations.
[17:45.82]只是我把裤子做了些改进
[17:55.11]Now,as you'll see on page 44 of the contract...
[17:55.11]现在 看合同第44页...
[17:58.02]Uh,hey,Eriksen, when did you join AC/DC?
[17:58.02]嘿 Eriksen 你加入AC/DC了? (澳大利亚最著名的摇滚乐队)
[18:04.91]Now,can we please just turn to page 44 of the contract.
[18:04.91]现在 翻到合同第44页
[18:07.68]Hey,Eriksen, I think theOliver Twist auditions are down the hall!
[18:07.68]嘿 Eriksen 我想雾都孤儿的面试是在楼下吧!
[18:14.59]Hey,Eriksen, please,sir,may I have some more... pants?
[18:14.59]嘿 Eriksen 先生 能给我些裤子吗?
[18:27.43]More pan...
[18:27.43]再来点裤子...
[18:35.48]That's it? That's the whole story?
[18:35.48]就这些? 整个故事就这些?
[18:37.79]So what happened with Karen?
[18:37.79]Karen后来咋样了?
[18:39.02]I'll finish it for you.
[18:39.02]我来为你继续
[18:40.59]Ted left without saying anything and Karen got exactly what she wanted.
[18:40.59]Ted无言地离去 而Karen再次得到自己想要的
[18:46.52]Not this time.
[18:46.52]这次不是
[18:47.90]So you have a boyfriend?
[18:47.90]你有男友了?
[18:50.36]We've been drifting apart for a long time.
[18:50.36]我们分居一段时间了
[18:52.05]I've been meaning to break up with him.
[18:52.05]我正想和他分手
[18:53.90]God,Karen, you are unbelievable.
[18:53.90]天哪 Karen 你太难以置信了
[18:56.56]You don't have the guts to break up with someone like a decent human being,
[18:56.56]你没勇气和这种正点的家伙分手的
[18:59.62]so instead you pull this crap.
[18:59.62]所以别废话了
[19:03.42]Okay,you're right.
[19:03.42]好吧 你说对了
[19:06.52]I'm great with books. I'm great with art.
[19:06.52]我饱览群书 深究艺术
[19:11.24]I'm great with identifying French wines from within a mile of where the grapes are grown. But...
[19:11.24]我能鉴别法国红酒的葡萄生产地 并且差距小于一英里 但...
[19:16.92]I'm really bad when it comes to looking someone in the eye and telling them the truth about how I feel.
[19:16.92]但我并不擅长直视 别人的眼睛 说出真实想法
[19:22.25]Well,we're both bad at that. But...
[19:22.25]我们都不擅长这个 但...
[19:25.64]I think we both need to change. So,um,why don't I go first? Karen...
[19:25.64]我想我们得做些改变 我先来吧 Karen
[19:30.74]you're a really hurtful and reckless person, and I never want to see you or speak to you again.
[19:30.74]你真是个狠心的人 我再也不要看见你 再也不要和你说话了
[19:37.53]Au revoir.
[19:37.53]再见
[19:39.48]Ted,wait.
[19:39.48]Ted 等等
[19:44.63]Actually,"au revoir"means "until we see each other again."
[19:44.63]其实 "再见"的意思是"再次相见"
[19:49.62]So,I'm assuming that you mean we will in fact see each other again?
[19:49.62]我想你是说我们还会再见面?
[19:57.98]Sorry,bro.
[19:57.98]抱歉 伙计
[20:02.35]- Yes. - Thank you. Thank you.
[20:02.35]- 真好 - 谢谢 谢谢
[20:03.90]- Bravo. - Ted,I am impressed with you.
[20:03.90]- 好极了 - Ted 你真牛
[20:06.05]You,too,Marshall. Have you been wearing those all day?
[20:06.05]你也是 Marshall 你整天都穿着这个?
[20:08.91]They show off my calves.
[20:08.91]炫耀我的小腿呗
[20:11.39]Pants story. Tell it again.
[20:11.39]裤子糗事 再说遍
[20:14.49]You know,maybe it was good you called Karen.
[20:14.49]或许你给Karen打电话是好事
[20:17.81]It definitely was. And not just for me, but for her,too.
[20:17.81]绝对是 不仅对我 也对她有好处
[20:20.75]Later that night, she sat down with Jerry, and she had the break-up talk she always avoided with me.
[20:20.75]那天晚上后来 她向Jerry提出分手 这可是以前她一直没有对我做到的
[20:25.89]So you see,kids, sometimes when you have to have a tough conversation, the best thing to do...
[20:25.89]你们明白了吧 孩儿们 当你难以启齿时 最好...
[20:31.09]Wait a second. Wait a second.
[20:31.09]等下 等下
[20:34.59]You said you were never gonna talk to Karen again,right?
[20:34.59]你说永远不要和Karen说话了 对不?
[20:37.77]Yeah.
[20:37.77]嗯
[20:39.05]Then how do you know she took your advice?
[20:39.05]那你咋知道她听取了你的意见
[20:43.03]Oh,right. Well,about that...
[20:43.03]对 关于这...
[20:46.21]After she broke up with that dude,she called me, we went out,
[20:46.21]她和那哥们分手后 她打我电话
[20:48.63]we hooked up,and we've been dating ever since.
[20:48.63]我们看对眼了 然后又开始约会
[20:50.09]We're really seeing eye to eye, and this time, I don't know,it just feels different somehow.
[20:50.09]我们直视对方 这次不知咋的 貌似感觉与众不同
[20:52.50]Here she comes now. Be cool!
[20:52.50]她来了 冷静点!