双语读剧：Call me by ...（一）07:把脚轻踩在他留下印记的地方

 
I must have shot him a similarly wicked glance.
For two days our conversations came to a sudden halt.
On the long balcony that both our bedrooms shared, total avoidance: just a makeshift hello, good morning, nice weather, shallow chitchat.
Then, without explanation, things resumed.
Did I want to go jogging this morning? No, not really. Well, let’s swim, then.
 
我必定也曾对他投射出同样恶毒的眼光。
有那么两天，我们的对话突然暂停。
在我们两间卧房共用的长阳台碰上，也是完全回避，只有敷衍了事的你好、早安、天气不错，完全是肤浅的闲扯。
接着，没有解释，一切又恢复原状。
今天早上想去慢跑吗？不，不怎么想。那么，我们游泳吧。
 
Today, the pain, the stoking, the thrill of someone new, the promise of so much bliss hovering a fingertip away, the fumbling around people I might misread and don’t want to lose and must second-guess at every turn, the desperate cunning I bring to everyone I want and crave to be wanted by, the screens I put up as though between me and the world there were not just one but layers of rice-paper sliding doors, the urge to scramble and unscramble what was never really coded in the first place—all these started the summer Oliver came into our house. They are embossed on every song that was a hit that summer, in every novel I read during and after his stay, on anything from the smell of rosemary on hot days to the frantic rattle of the cicadas in the afternoon—smells and sounds I’d grown up with and known every year of my life until then but that had suddenly turned on me and acquired an inflection forever colored by the events of that summer.
 
新恋人带来的痛苦、狂喜、刺激；盘旋在咫尺之遥，这许多幸福的承诺；在我可能误解、不想失去、每逢转折必定先揣度一番的人之间寻寻觅觅；我用来对待每个我想望、渴望被想望人那种拼了命的狡猾；我立起重重屏障，仿佛自己与世界之间有着许多层的纸拉门；想把其实从来不曾加密的东西编码再解码的强烈冲动——如今这一切全始于奥利弗到我们家来的那个夏天。这些印记在那年夏天的每一首流行歌曲里，在他寄宿期间与其后我所阅读的每一本小说里，在热天迷迭香的气味，以及午后蝉鸣发狂似的嘶叫声里——直到当时，年年伴我成长的、熟悉的气味与声音，突然触动我，多了一种永远晕染上了那个夏天里历历情景色彩的韵味。
 
Or perhaps it started after his first week, when I was thrilled to see he still remembered who I was, that he didn’t ignore me, and that, therefore, I could allow myself the luxury of passing him on my way to the garden and not having to pretend I was unaware of him. We jogged early on the first morning—all the way up to B. and back. Early the next morning we swam. Then, the day after, we jogged again. I liked racing by the milk delivery van when it was far from done with its rounds, or by the grocer and the baker as they were just getting ready for business, liked to run along the shore and the promenade when there wasn’t a soul about yet and our house seemed a distant mirage. I liked it when our feet were aligned, left with left, and struck the ground at the same time, leaving footprints on the shore that I wished to return to and, in secret, place my foot where his had left its mark.
 
又或者一切始于他来的第一周：我见他仍然记得我是谁，没有忽视我，使我感到如此振奋，仿佛能够在前往花园的路上与他相遇，而不必佯装没注意到他，已经是一种奢侈的享受。第一天早晨，我们一早就去慢跑，一路跑到 B 城。第二天一早我们去游泳。接着，隔天，我们又去慢跑。我喜欢跟在满载牛奶的货车旁边跑，或跟在正准备好要开始做买卖的杂货商或面包师傅旁边跑，或趁连个鬼影也没有的时候沿着海岸跑，我们家的房子看起来像遥远的海市蜃楼。我喜欢我们俩并列而行，左脚对右脚，同时撞击地面，在岸边留下脚印；我想回到那儿，偷偷地，把脚轻踩在他留下印记的地方。
 
《请以你的名字呼唤我》