Man on TV: This mass suicide was actually discovered by a documentary crew here in the ancient Mayan city of Takal. Now the victims, and we've seen many, are said to have adhered to the Mayan-Quiche calender, which predicts the end of time to occur on the 21st December of this year, due to the sun's destructive forces.
Woman on TV: Thank you, Mark. Strangely enough, scientific records do support the fact that we are heading for the biggest solar climax in recorded history. Many people believe that the Mayan Calender predicts that there's supposed to be a galactic alignment...
Jackson: I'm a dead man. Hey, Kate, I'm practically on the freeway right now. Yes, I'm rolling towards you as we speak. Would you relax? I'll be there any second. You know it's a vacation and not a doctors appointment, right? It's supposed to be fun. You remember fun, don't you Kate? Do you remember where you were when it stopped being fun for you? Got it. Bug spray? Oh yeah, cause it's mosquito season in Yellowstone. I got a whole bunch. I gotta go, I'm in a bad reception area.
Man: Woah, man. Would you look at that? Sick
Woman: Merrill, I told you. We have to move back to Wisconsin.
Woman on radio: These little mini-quakes are really getting on my nerves, Randy.
Randy: Come on, a little surface crack, you're not gonna be inconvenienced by that
Woman on radio: Right. Surface cracks, I've got a plastic surgeon for that
Randy: No kidding. Thank God for those shake-proof coffee mugs. They show the true nature of us Californians. We'll not bow to these little inconvenient things like surface quakes. Do you have a funny mini-quake story and want to share it? Call Lisa & Randy at 555...
Girl: Hi daddy!
Jackson: Hi baby How are you sweety?
Boy: Jackson, what is this?
Jackson: Please don't call me that. I'm your dad.
Kate: Taking them camping in a limo? Okay, great. What happened to your temp job?
Jackson: Oh, Better hours, more time to write.
Kate: What about sleeping, have you been doing that lately?
Gorden: I've said it a thousand times. No lipo on Fridays. It's too messy. Hold on. Morning Jackson.
Gorden: Nice ride.
Groden: Guys, Have a nice trip. Remember, watch out for the bears.
Boy: Bye, Gordon
Gorden: Love you, Honey.
Kate: Okay, so...
Girl: You tell him.
Jackson: Tell me what?
Kate: She needs to put these on every night before she goes to sleep.
Kate: Yes. Your 7 year old daughter still wets her bed. Maybe that's something you should know. Love you
Girl: Love you, Mom. They really were looking forward to spending some time with you
Jackson: I know.
Kate: So don't be on your computer all the time.
Jackson: Got it.
Kate: Love you!
Harry: So this time we'll hit Japan.
Harry: Now you can visit your boy, Will.
Tony: Afternoon, ladies!
Harry: Are you even listening to me?
Tony: Unfortunately I am, Harry.
Harry: I heard from Audrey you're a grandpa now.
Tony: Would you mind keeping your nose out of my family? You're cramping my style, baby. There we are.
Harry: So he married a Japanese girl, how's that the end of the world? Come on Tony, you should at least go see him.
Tony: You see your boy?
Harry: Not as much as I'd like DC is a long way, but at least we talk
Tony: About what?
Harry: Life. And how short it is. What the hell was that?