Alex: Look, you seem like a cool girl, so I'm just gonna be honest with you. Conor's never gonna call you.
Gigi: Oh, really. How do you know?
Alex: Because I'm a guy, and it's just how we do it.
Gigi: He said it was nice meeting me.
Alex: I don't care if he said you were his favorite female since his mommy and Joanie Cunningham. Over a week went by, okay, Gigi? And he didn't call you.
Gigi: But maybe he did call and I didn't get the message. Or maybe he lost my number...or he's out of town, or got hit by a cab, or his grandma died.
Alex: Or maybe he just didn't call because he has no interest in seeing you again.
Gigi: Yeah. But my friend Terri once went out with a guy who never called. She totally wrote him off. Over a year goes by.
Gigi: She ran into him, and it ended up that-
Alex: Your friend Terri's an idiot. She's also the exception, by the way. The rare exception.
Gigi: Okay. Okay. But what if I'm the exception?
Alex: No, you're not. You're not at all. In fact, you're the rule. And the rule is this: If a guy doesn't call you, he doesn't wanna call you.
Alex: Yeah, always. Look, I know what blowing off a woman looks like, okay? I do it early, I do it often. So trust me when I say if a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit. No exceptions.
Gigi: Thank you. Given me a lot to think about.
Gigi: Morning, morning. Excuse me. Hi.
Janine: Hi. Everything okay?
Gigi: Oh, I was up all night.
Janine: Please say you were working on the nutmeg copy.
Gigi: Sure. It's done. It's basically done. I have to tell you something important.
Beth: Sweetie? What's going on with your hair? Yeah, come here before people see you have a mini muffin in your hair.
Gigi: Okay. So...Thank you. I think I figured it out. Remember when I went out with that notary public and he cheated on me? Then Anastasia from upstairs told me her boyfriend cheated on her at the beginning but then he totally changed and now they're married and crazy in love?
Beth: I thought that guy was a process server.
Gigi: No, notary. Anyway, my point is, Anastasia's the exception, not the rule. We have to stop listening to these stories. Because the rule is that most guys who cheat on you frankly don't care about you very much.
Gigi: Okay, so Exhibit A: Chad, the drummer who lived in a storage space. He only used me for rides, and yet I continued to stalk him for most of 1998. And then... Oh, there was Don, who broke up with me every Friday so that he could have his weekends free. I was delusional about that relationship. I used to refer to him as my husband to many people including my dental hygienist. And anyways, all of my friends used to tell me stories about how things might work out with these dipshits, because they knew someone who knew someone who dated a dipshit just like mine, and that girl ended up getting married. But that's the exception. We're not the exception, we're the rule.
Beth: Okay, let me just see if I understand. So what you're saying is...if I hear a story about a girl who's been with a guy for 13 years and he finally married her, that's the exception.
Beth: But the rule are guys like Neil...who are with girls like me...for seven years and aren't married...they're never getting married.
Gigi & Janine: No.
Gigi: No, no, no. No, no, no. No.
Janine: It's not what she meant in that-
Gigi: No, it's got nothing to do with you. I absolutely was not talking about you.
Janine: These are specific relationship situations.
Gigi: I was talking about myself specifically. Just me specifically, you know?
Anna: This guy is, like, impossible not to like, you know? He's flirting with me pretty heavily outside of the Handy Mart...and, you know, everything just kind of lines up, it's really magical. And then he tells me that he's married. Which, of course, I should be pissed about, right? But I just...I can't stop thinking about him.
Mary: But he's married.
Anna: I know, I realize that. I don't know what's wrong with me. What's wrong with me?
Mary: Okay. I know this guy, he works in my dad's printing business. And he was married for 15 years to a nice lady. And one night he meets this woman at some church event. And he tells my dad that he's never felt anything like it before. That he had finally met the one. So he divorced his wife...and he's been with this other woman for 22 years...and they're insanely happy. I mean, what if you meet the love of your life...but you already married someone else? Are you supposed to let them pass you by?
Anna: You're right. Okay. I'm gonna call him.