Bob: Nora. Please don't wander off again.
Nora: I'm sorry, Bob.
Bob: Let's go pay for your costume. Yo, it's Ho. Just hold him till I get there.
Ian: Can I just say before we begin that only in the current distressed condition of the American public school system could I be deposited headfirst into a garbage can, and yet I'm the one who winds up receiving disciplinary action?
Principal: Who exactly are you?
Bob: I'm his mother's...
Bob: Neighbor. I'm watching them for a few days.
Principal: Well, this is not the first time Ian has been in trouble. He gets in fights. He lies.
Ian: Hey, I don't lie.
Principal: Selena Gomez. You told everyone you invited Selena Gomez to the spring dance.
Ian: Her appearance fee was an obstacle.
Principal: You said you spent New Year's Eve at the Playboy Mansion.
Ian: Hey, pay-per-view high-def. I felt like I was there.
Bob: I'm telling you, lying is a dangerous game.
Ian: Bob, you sell pens. What do you...Oh, no. That's them.
Ian: The future felons who put me in the trash can.
Boy: Hey, geek-boy, we got detention because of you. Yeah, because of you. - You're gonna pay for that.
Bob: Gentlemen, we don't want trouble.
Boy: Who's this? Your mom?
Ian: You wish. He's my bodyguard. I hired him. You better watch out.
Boy: That true?
Bob: No. He's joking. I'm their babysitter.
Boy: What are you gonna do?
Bob: Ask you politely to allow us to pass.
Ian: How humiliating. Why didn't you do something?
Bob: Why did you tell them I was your bodyguard?
Ian: You're right. I guess it was too big a stretch. Hey. How you doing? I'm Ian. If I told you, you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
Bob: At least you're not shy.
Ian:I wanted to talk to her in the worst way.
Bob: Mission accomplished.
Farren: Come here. You look so pretty.
Bob: Farren, I didn't know you did gymnastics.
Farren: Why would you? You don't know anything about me. You come over to hang out with Gillian, and you never even talk to us. Come on, let's go.
Ian: The woman's got a point.