Janitor: Mike O'Donnell.
Mike: Do I know you?
Janitor: No. But I know you.
Mike: Oh, yeah?
Janitor: High school star. Never quite lived up to your potential. Sooner or later you all come back to the old school. Stand there and look at the picture of the glory days, wondering what might have been. Seems to me you guys are living in the past.
Mike: Well, of course I want to live in the past. It was better there.
Janitor: I'll bet you wish you had it to do all over again.
Mike: Huh. You got that right.
Janitor: You're sure about that?
Mike: Oh, yeah.
Girls: Hi, Mr. O'Donnell.
Maggie: What are you doing here?
Mike: Oh, I was just talking to...nobody. Doesn't matter. I got off work early, and I thought maybe we could go for some ice cream.
Maggie: Together? Why?
Mike: Just go get your brother, okay?
Waitress: Do you need anything else?
Mike: No, we're fine. What's the matter, Maggie? This used to be your favorite place. We used to come here for your birthday.
Maggie: Yeah, when I was, like, 8.
Mike: So, Al, basketball season's coming up. You ready?
Mike: Been working on that outside shot?
Al: Really good.
Mike: Good's not going to get you a scholarship.
Al: I meant, it's great. It's great, Dad. It's great.
Mike: That's my boy. Remember, it's not how big you are.
Al: It's how big you play.
Mike: Right up here.
Al: Uh, Maggie got into Georgetown.
Mike: Maggie, that's awesome. Can you turn down the? (They arrive home) Okay, guys, see you soon. Love you. Nice chatting with you. (He meets his wife) What the hell are you doing? What the hell are you doing?! Hey, that's my stuff. Why are you destroying our yard?
Scarlet: It's not our yard. It's my yard, remember? You took the road not taken. And I get the yard. I'm going to turn it into a showpiece for my clients.
Mike: Clients of what?
Scarlet: Landscape design.
Mike: Landscape design?
Scarlet: I'm going to show people what I can do.
Mike: Yeah, well, the divorce isn't final for another two weeks, so you have no right.
Scarlet: Really? So I've spent the last 18 years of my life listening to you whine about all the things you could've done without me, and I have no right?
Mike: It's just I put a lot of work into this yard.
Scarlet: Did you? Really? Like the barbeque pit?
Scarlet: Yeah. The way I remember that is that you spent about an hour working on it, and then you spent the next two days complaining about if you had gone to college, you could've hired someone else to do it.
Mike: I don't think it was a whole two days.
Scarlet: Or the hammock over here.
Scarlet: Yeah. I think you quit that one because you just decided not to try anymore.
Mike: Look, try to see things from my point of view. I am extremely disappointed with my life.
Scarlet: I never asked you to marry me.
Mike: Yeah, but I did.
Scarlet: Well, you don't have to do me any more favors, then. We're not going to hold each other back anymore, okay?
Scarlet: I'll see you at court, okay? At the trial.
Scarlet: Naomi! You came.
Naomi: Of course I came. What kind of bridesmaid would I be if I didn't hold your hand during the divorce? Now, just remember. The first one's always the hardest. Mike.
Mike: I don't care.
Naomi: Let's get going. We got to get you ready. We got to get you back on the market.
Scarlet: Yeah, I'm a real catch. Single mom with two teenage kids and manure caked under my fingernails.
Naomi: Come on. You'll do great. You got the butt of a 12-year-old boy.
Mike: Oh, that's terrific. I hope our daughter heard that.
Naomi: Ugh. When was the last time you waxed?
Scarlet: Bye, Mike.