Mr. Gilbertson: So, I have one question for you. Are you both committing fraud to avoid her deportation so she can keep her position as editor in chief at Colden Books?
Andrew: That's ridiculous.
Margaret: Where did you hear that?
Mr. Gilbertson: We had a phone tip this afternoon from a man named...
Margaret: Would it be Bob Spaulding?
Mr. Gilbertson: Bob Spaulding.
Margaret: Bob. Poor Bob. I am so sorry. Bob is nothing but a disgruntled former employee. And I apologize. But we know you're incredibly busy with a room full of gardeners and delivery boys to tend to. If you just give us our next step, we will be out of your hair and on our way.
Mr. Gilbertson: Miss Tate, please. Let me explain to you the process that's about to unfold. Step one will be a scheduled interview. I'll put you each in a room, and I'll ask you every little question that a real couple would know about each other. Step two, I dig deeper. I look at your phone records, I talk to your neighbors, I interview your coworkers. If your answers don't match up at every point, you will be deported indefinitely. And you, young man, will have committed a felony...punishable by a fine of $250,000 and a stay of five years in federal prison.
Mr. Gilbertson: So, Andrew. You wanna... you want to talk to me? No? Yes?
Andrew: The truth is...Mr. Gilbertson, the truth is...Margaret and I...are just two people who weren't supposed to fall in love. But did. We couldn't tell anyone we work with because of my big promotion that I had coming up.
Mr. Gilbertson: Promotion?
Andrew: We... we both felt, uh...That it would be deeply inappropriate if I were to be promoted to editor.
Margaret: Editor. Mmm-hmm...
Andrew: While we were...
Mr. Gilbertson: So...Have the two of you told your parents about your secret loves?
Margaret: Oh, I... impossible. My parents are dead. No brothers or sisters either.
Mr. Gilbertson: Are your parents dead?
Margaret: Oh, no, his are very much alive.
Andrew: No... very much.
Margaret: Very much. They're, ah... well, we were gonna tell them this weekend. Gammy's 90th birthday, and the whole family's coming together. And we thought it'd be a nice surprise.
Mr. Gilbertson: And where is this surprise gonna take place?
Margaret: At Andrew's parents' house.
Mr. Gilbertson: Where is that located again?
Margaret: Um... why am I doing all the talking? It's your parents' house. Why don't you tell him where it is. Jump in.
Mr. Gilbertson: You're gonna go to Alaska this weekend?
Margaret: Yes, yes. We are going to Alaska. Alaska, that's where...That's where my little... that's where my Andrew's from.
Mr. Gilbertson: OK. Fine. I see how this is gonna go. I will see you both at 11:00 Monday morning for your scheduled interview, and your answers better match up on every account.
Andrew: Thank you.
Margaret: (Answering the phone) Hello?
Mr. Gilbertson: I have to say, I'm looking forward to this one.
Andrew: We're looking forward to this one.
Margaret: Thank you.
Mr. Gilbertson: Gonna be fun. I'll be checking up on you.
Andrew: You got it.
Margaret: OK...so, what's gonna happen is we will go up there. We will pretend like we're boyfriend and girlfriend, tell your parents we're engaged. Uh, use the miles for the tickets. I guess I will pop for you to fly first class. But make sure you use the miles. If we don't get the miles, we're not doing it. Oh, and please confirm the vegan meal, OK? 'Cause last time they actually gave it to a vegan, and they, uh... forced me to eat this clammy, warm, creamy salad thing, which was...Hey, I'm... why aren't you taking notes?
Andrew: I'm sorry, were you not in that room?
Margaret: What? What? Oh! The thing you said about being promoted? Genius! Genius. He completely fell for it.
Andrew: I was serious. I'm looking at a $250,000 fine and five years in jail. That changes things.
Margaret: Promote you to editor? No, no way.
Andrew: Then I quit, and you're screwed. Bye-bye, Margaret.
Andrew: It really has been a little slice of heaven.
Margaret: Andrew, Andrew! Fine, fine. I'll make you editor. Fine. If you do the Alaska weekend and the immigration interview, I will make you editor. Happy?
Andrew: And not in two years. Right away.
Andrew: And you'll publish my manuscript.
Margaret: Ten thousand copy first...
Andrew: Twenty thousand copies, first run. And we'll tell my family about our engagement when I want and how I want. Now, ask me nicely.
Margaret: "Ask you nicely" what?
Andrew: Ask me nicely to marry you, Margaret.
Margaret: What does that mean?
Andrew: You heard me. On your knee.
Margaret: Fine. Does this work for you?
Andrew: Oh, I like this. Yeah.
Margaret: Will you marry me?
Andrew: No. Say it like you mean it.
Andrew: Yes, Margaret?
Margaret: Sweet Andrew?
Andrew: I'm listening.
Margaret: Would you please, with cherries on top, marry me?
Andrew: OK. I don't appreciate the sarcasm, but I'll do it. See you at the airport tomorrow.