Bride 1: I'd like to take a moment to give a special thank-you to a girl...who's really gone above and beyond:
Bride2: The girl who not only hosted my shower and helped me design the invitation-
Bride1: She went with me to the caterer, the florist, the wedding cake bakery-
Bride2: And to eight bridal stores...where she helped me cling to my self-esteem-
Bride1: As I tried on dress after dress.
Bride2: So thanks, Jane! Bride1: Thanks, Jane. Okay! Everybody ready?
Man: Is she all right? Is she all right?
Kevin: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy. Just take it easy. You don't wanna move around too much. Okay. This is a serious injury. I need you to give me some ice. You, give me a bottle of 100-proof liquor...and something she can bite on- stat! All right. She's fine, folks. Just a little bump on the head. Carry on.
Jane: You a doctor?
Kevin: No, but Tweedledee and "Tweedledrunk" were bugging me, so-- Okay. Do you know your name?
Kevin: Jane. I'm Kevin.
Jane: Hmm. Thank you for helping me.
Kevin: Sure. Got it? Okay. You're good?
Jane: I'm fine.
Kevin: All right. Whoa, whoa. Okay. Why don't we get you a cab? All right. Nice and easy. Let's walk.
[Jazz Standard] That I'm irresponsibly mad for you.
Kevin: I loved your thong, by the way. You buzzed past me earlier. I saw you changing gowns. You were in two weddings in one night, weren't you? That's a little upsetting, don't you think?
Jane: They're both good friends of mine, and their weddings happened to be on the same night, so what was I supposed to do?
Kevin: Oh, no. That's not the upsetting part. How do you stand it? I mean, isn't one wedding bad enough?
Jane: I love weddings. I always have.
Kevin: Which part, the forced merriment, horrible music or bad food?
Jane: Actually, it's meeting upbeat people like yourself.
Kevin: Love is patient. Love is kind. Love means slowly losing your mind.
Jane: What do you do again?
Kevin: I'm a writer.
Jane: Right. This is my building:
Kevin: I got it:
Jane: No. I got it.
Kevin: Sure? J
ane: Yeah. All right, sweetie. A hundred and forty. You know what you did. Hey! What's- No. He's gonna be right back. Hold on.
Kevin: Don't you think it's a whole lot of ritual for something that…Let's face it- It's got about a 50-50 shot of making it out of the gate.
Jane: How very refreshing. A man who doesn't believe in marriage.
Kevin: I'm just trying to point out the hypocrisy of the spectacle.
Jane: That's so noble of you. Do you also go around...telling small children that Santa Claus doesn't exist?' Cause someone needs to blow that shit wide open.
Kevin: So you admit that believing in marriage is kind of like believing in Santa Claus.
Jane: No. I, I don't know why I'm arguing this with a perfect stranger. But, yes, marriage, like everything good and important, isn't easy. Cynicism, on the other hand, always is. It was very interesting meeting you.
Kevin: You gonna be in more weddings next weekend?
Jane: I have to go.
Kevin: How many have you been in, by the way? Just, like, ballpark.
Jane: Good night.