Declan: There. Ballycarbery Castle. It's one of the 10 wonders of Ireland, so I'm told. Can only be 15 minutes to the top.
Anna: I don't want to miss the train.
Declan: Yeah, well, that's a good point. Don't miss the train.
Declan: Only two and a half hours. Time is going to fly.
Anna: I'll stay here.
Declan: Suit yourself.
Anna: I will.
Anna: Hi. Hi.
Anna: Declan? Wait! I love castles. It's beautiful.
Declan: I'm sorry you're not gonna get to Dublin before the shops shut.
Anna: I have other interests besides shopping. I have a life. A job.
Declan: What do you do, then?
Anna: I stage apartments.
Declan: Stage apartments, now that's...That's...What's that?
Anna: Well, when somebody is selling an apartment or a home, I bring stuff in and make it look as beautiful as it can look.
Declan: And they get to keep all the stuff when they buy it?
Anna: No, I take it away. I'm just presenting them with the possibilities. I put a sheen on it.
Declan: Hang on. So you do your job, yeah?
Declan: They buy the house, yeah?
Declan: And then you come along and you take all the stuff away again, yeah?
Declan: You're a con artist.
Anna: No, I'm not a con...That's just so typical of you. You think the worst of everybody.
Anna: Oh, no? I'd love to know who you have a good word for.
Declan: I can think of a couple of good words for you. Riddle me this. If your apartment's on fire, your beautiful apartment, what would you take?
Declan: If your house was on fire and you had 60 seconds, what would you take? Come on.
Anna: (Exclaims in confusion) I...
Declan: Come on. Would it be the Chihuahua on the duvet?
Anna: I'm not playing this game with you.
Declan: There you are.
Anna: What would you take? What would you take? Your lovely inn is on fire.
Anna: What are you going to take? You know, your...Flames coming up the stairs. You've got 60 seconds. Oh! The bottles of alcohol in your pub are exploding. What are you going to grab?
Declan: I know exactly what I'd "grab."
Anna: Oh, yeah? What?
Declan: Not telling you.
Anna: You can dish it, but you can't take it, can you? (Panting) It's really...It's a castle!
Declan: Told you.
Anna: So what's the story with this place?
Declan: Well, hundreds of years ago, there was this beautiful girl called Grainne. Now, she was promised in marriage to this fella called Fionn, who was kind of a cranky old warlord, old enough to be her father, old enough to be her grandfather, and therefore she wasn't in love with him. Anyway, on the night of their betrothal, whom did she meet but a handsome young warrior, Diarmuid. They fell madly in love at first sight, but what could she do? Well, she slips a sleeping potion in everyone's drinks, and the pair of them run off together across the Shannon. Fionn wakes and there's Grainne gone. Well, he goes mental. Takes his army and heads off in hot pursuit. But it was the people, you know, the people in the villages of Ireland, they took pity on Diarmuid and Grainne. They hid them in forests and in their barns and castles, where they'd sleep one night and then they'd move on. Come on.
Anna: Is it safe?
Declan: Of course. Sleep was all they did, 'Cause Diarmuid, good man that he was, was suffering the old guilt about two-timing Fionn and out of respect for him, didn't, you know, take it any further.
Anna: I get it.
Declan: Oh, yeah. (Sighs) And then they came to this castle and this view.
Declan: And 'tis said, you know, that, unable to resist such beauty, that here, in this place, they... They consummated their love.
Anna: Oh, my God. You're hitting on me.
Declan: I'm what?
Anna: (Scoffs) I'm the young woman on the eve of her engagement that can't resist a handsome stranger? Oh, come on.
Declan: I'm what?
Anna: You didn't honestly think that was gonna work, did you?
Declan: Don't flatter yourself, darling. The story's true, but it sure as shite ain't about you.
Declan: No, you arrogant...
Anna: Arrogant what exactly?
Declan: Well, that's a tough one. Is it American?
(Train horn blaring)
Anna: Oh, no. The train. Wait! Wait, I have a ticket!