Michelle: I-I don't really want to talk about it, okay?
Michelle: Okay. Why does this always happen to me? Things were going great for, like, a week and a half, and then, all of a sudden, it's over, and I am mystified. Seriously, I am mystified, because it always starts out so well.
Jeannie: Poor baby.
Andie: Let's just roll with this one.
Michelle: Oh, Mike and I had such a connection. The first time that we had sex,...it was so beautiful...I cried.
Jeannie: You cried?
Andie: You mean, like, one glistening tear on your cheek, right?
Michelle: No. I was really emotional. I even told him that I loved him.
Andie: After how many days?
Michelle: Five. Two. It was how I felt. I wanted to express myself.
Andie: Okay, well, what did he say?
Michelle: Oh, Mike didn't have to say anything. I know that he felt the same. But then he started getting really busy, and I didn't know where he was. So I kept calling him and calling him. He was never home...
Andie: You kept calling him?
Michelle: I didn't leave a message. He didn't know it was me. My number's blocked.
Jeannie: Oh, l-I'm sure he thought it was one of his friends. You know, men frequently call their friends' answering machines and hang up 20 times.
Michelle: Anyway...I know why hedumped me: I'm too fat.
Andie & Jeannie: You're not fat!
Andie: Oh, Michelle, if the most beautiful woman in the world acted the way you did, any normal guy would still go running in the other direction.
Michelle: Oh, no. No guy would go running from you, Andie. You could barf all over him, and he would say, "Do it again."
Andie: That is both incredibly disgusting and categorically untrue. If I did the things you did, I'd get dumped, too.