Lionel: He's a good lad, Willy. He could hardly make a sound, you know, when he first came to me. My boys made those. Good, aren't they. Please, make yourself comfortable. I was told not not to sit too close. when speaking with a prince, one waits for the prince to choose the topic.
Bertie: Waiting for me to...commence a conversation one can wait a rather long wait.
Lionel: Do you know any jokes?
Bertie: Timing isn't my strong suit.
Lionel: Cuppa tea?
Bertie: No thank you.
Lionel: I think I'll have one.
Bertie: Aren't you going to start treating me Dr Logue?
Lionel: Only if you're interested in being treated. Please, call me Lionel.
Bertie: I... I prefer Doctor.
Lionel: I prefer Lionel. What'll I call you?
Bertie: Your Royal Highness, then Sir after that.
Lionel: A bit formal for here. I prefer names
Bertie: Prince Albert Frederick Arthur George?
Lionel: How about Bertie?
Bertie: Only my family uses that.
Lionel: Perfect. In here, it's better if we're equals.
Bertie: If we were equal... I wouldn't be here. I'd be... at home with my wife and no-one would give a damn.
Lionel: Please don't do that.
Bertie: I'm sorry?
Lionel: I believe sucking smoke into your lungs will kill you.
Bertie: My physicians say it relaxes the throat.
Lionel: They're idiots.
Bertie: They've all been knighted.
Lionel: Makes it official then. My 'castle', my rules. Thank you. What was your earliest memory?
Bertie: What on earth do you mean?
Lionel: Your first recollection.
Bertie: I'm not...here to discuss personal matters.
Lionel: Why're you here then?
Bertie: Because I bloody well stammer!
Lionel: You have a bit of a temper.
Bertie: One of my many faults.
Lionel: When did the defect start?
Bertie: I've always been this way!
Lionel: I doubt that.
Bertie: Don't...tell me! It's my stammer!
Lionel: It's my field. I assure you, no infant starts to speak with a stammer. When did it start?
Bertie: Four or five.
Lionel: That's typical.
Bertie: So I've been told. I can't remember not doing it.
Lionel: I can believe that. Do you hesitate when you think?
Bertie: Don't be ridiculous.
Lionel: How about when you talk to yourself? Everyone natters occasionally, Bertie.
Bertie: Stop calling me that!
Lionel: I'm not going to call you anything else.
Bertie: Then we shan't speak! Are you charging for this, Doctor?
Lionel: A fortune.