Bruce: Your problem is you don't know how to close! You gotta tell the docs what they need. Somebody says no, that's when the fun starts. That means you are in.
Jamie: My numbers are up.
Bruce: Your Zithromax is up. Big deal. We're not going to Chicago on Zithromax. Depressed people, Randall, they're depressed every day. You gotta move Zoloft. I want you to focus on Zoloft.
Josh: Counseling? Here's some counseling. Stop being a fucking bitch. Wait, did I use "you" language?
Jamie: Trial separation.
Josh: I'm so sorry. I need to own my feelings.
Bruce: Fucking pepperoni.
Josh: Let me rephrase that. I feel that you should stop being a fucking bitch!
Jamie: So, I hear we're coming out with a new sex drug.
Bruce: What are you talking about?
Jamie: Is it true?
Bruce: Where did you hear that?
Jamie: Heard it around.
Bruce: Sildenafil citrate. It's a PDE-5 inhibitor. They lucked into it during trials for blood pressure medication. Guys had massive boners the whole time. Where did you hear that?
Jamie: What's it called?
Jamie: I want it.
Bruce: Everybody wants it.
Jamie: I could sell the shit out of it.
Bruce: Can you see if there's some Tums in there for me in the glove compartment?
Bruce: Tums me, buddy.
Jamie: Bruce. Bruce. I want that account.
Bruce: Why would I give it to you?
Jamie: Who can sell a dick drug better than me?
Josh: Ten years, Jamie, ten excruciating years of marriage. It's like the lost decade. Oh, my God! I don't even know how to hit on women anymore. What do you do? What's your game?
Jamie: You need an IBS. Do you know what that is?
Josh: Irritable Bowel Syndrome? An Initial Benefit Statement.
Jamie: Tell them who you are, why you're there and what you can do for them. All right? And just be yourself, Josh. You'll be fine.
Josh: Thank you very much.
Bruce: Oh! Look who just walked in. Now's your chance, "Closer." Show me what you got. Show me.
Trey: Hey! Pfizer, how's your fist?
Jamie: How's your jaw?
Trey: Randall, you know Stan Knight, right? Stan, this is a bright young man from Pfizer.
Jamie: Yes, we've met.
Trey: Yeah. How you doing?
Jamie: Fantastic. New study on Zoloft, 25% fewer side effects than Prozac. So, I'm feeling good.
Trey: You'd do better selling him if you got him laid.
Knight: Can you get me laid?
Trey: Stan's one of the more respected diagnosticians in town, but his real calling is pussy-hound.
Knight: Yes, and I think your real calling is pimp. Now, you're banging Maggie Murdock, aren't you? You are. You are. Oh, God, those tits are unbelievable! So not fair!
Jamie: All right.
Knight: No, no. You don't see that a lot in the neurologically damned.
Jamie: What do you mean, "damned"? You don't die from Parkinson's.
Trey: Well, it's not much of a life, now is it?
Jamie: What do you mean? Interferon, L-dopa...It slowed the progress in the majority of cases.
Trey: Listen, Dr. Drug Rep. You know less than shit, okay? She's a sick girl.
Jamie: Oh. Is that what you told your wife?
Trey: That's none of your fucking business. Maggie has all sorts of needs, and I don't think a pussy like you is up for the job.
Jamie: Right, and a married man is?
Trey: You really want me to hit you again?
Jamie: Chill out, man! Chill. Wait! Don't get aggressive. Don't get aggressive. Hey!
Trey: Inter-fucking-feron, really? You know what?
Jamie: Easy, easy.
Trey: I'm going home.
Knight: No, you're not.
Trey: No, no, no. I'm going home.
Jamie: Good. Say hi to your wife.
Knight: I'm keeping my eyes on you, buddy.
Jamie: That freaked me out.
Knight: He actually, physically hit you, didn't he?
Jamie: Yeah, he did, and I was afraid he was going to do it again.
Knight: He might have to up his meds, that young man.
Jamie: Or maybe he needs to change to a drug that's proven more effective in controlling aggressive behavior. Zoloft produced 13% fewer outbursts in a controlled study of adult males. And I think it's...Turn to your left. Turn to your left right now. Turn to your left. Those two women, I know both of them. Which one do you want to take home?