Guest: This is the most beautiful shower I have ever been to.
Guest: Yes, and Helen is giving out the cutest party favors. I know, I love their pink berets.
Waiter: Would you like some champagne?
Waiter: It's French.
Lilian: Annie. Hey.
Lilian: How are you doing? You're here.
Annie: Yeah, I'm here. I was invited. Sorry.
Lilian: Of course you were invited. I just meant you have arrived.
Annie: No, I was just joking.
Lilian: Okay. Can you believe this? Isn't it amazing?
Annie: Yep. Yeah. it's nice. Yeah. Pretty. Are we okay?
Lillian: Yes, I'm sorry I haven't called.
Annie: I just didn't want to bug you, but...
Lilian: Forgive me. It just got crazy. There has been lots of organizing, and... I have so much to tell you. I have to say hi to my aunt or she will get mad at my mom.
Annie: No, you gotta go do your party rounds. Yeah.
Lilian: I'll see you in a minute.
Annie: Yeah. Okay.
Lillian: Oh! Rita, you got all our towels.
Rita: Yes, I did. Because I love you, Kitten.
Megan: All right, let's see what's next. Another one, another one, another one.
Lillian: I know who this is from. I can tell by the wrapping. Is that you? Annie, you made this. Look.
Megan: Oh, man. Oh, my gosh.
Lillian: It's us, Annie. Oh, my God. This is all my favorite stuff from all the stores I love in Milwaukee. Annie! This is so unbelievable. Wilson Phillips.
Megan: Man, I love Wilson Phillips.
Lillian: We listened to Hold On probably 10,000 times when I got my driver's license. This is such an amazing gift. Thank you.
Annie: You're welcome.
Helen: I feel really bad, Lil, I didn't get a chance to actually get you a present because I have been so busy organizing the shower.
Lillian: Helen, please. It's more than enough.
Helen: Here is a card to say congratulations.
Lillian: Thank you. Gosh, you have really outdone yourself. Oh, my God, Helen.
Guest: Honey, what is it?
Lillian: Helen's taking me to Paris.
Helen: I got you. I fooled you. Look at your face. It's just a little pre-wedding vacation. And while we're there, we're gonna meet the designer of her dress and have a fitting.
Lillian: You are taking me to Paris? Oh, my God! This is the best present ever! Thank you so much.
Helen: A Paris!
Lillian: Oh, my God.
Annie: Are you fucking kidding me?
Annie's Mom: Annie!
Annie: No, Mom. Motherfucking Paris?
Lillian: Annie, what are you doing?
Annie: I told you about Paris, Helen. I told you about this whole idea!
Lillian: Annie, calm down.
Annie: No, Lillian! What, you're gonna go to Paris with Helen now? What, you guys are gonna ride around on bikes with berets and fucking baguettes in the basket of the front of your bikes? How romantic! What woman gives another woman a trip to Paris? Am I right? Lesbian. We're all thinking it, aren't we?
Becca: I'm not.
Annie: Okay? Yes, we're all thinking it, right?
Megan: I was.
Annie: Lillian, this is not the "you" that I know. The "you" that I know would have walked in here and rolled your eyes and thought this was completely over-the-top, ridiculous and stupid. Look at this shower! Look at that fucking cookie! Did you really think that this group of women was going to finish that cookie? Really? You know what? That reminds me, actually. I never got a chance to try that fucking cookie! Stupid fucking cookie! Delicious! Stupid cookie. I think I'll... Maybe it's better if I dip it in the chocolate. is this what you want, Lillian?
Guest: This is so awesome.
Annie: All right, let's have some nice, hot, unsanitary chocolate! Ahh! It's hot! Jesus! God!
Lillian: Christ, Annie. Have you lost your fucking mind? What are you doing?
Annie: What am I doing? You wouldn't know, would you? Where have you been? You would have no idea. Let me fill you in, okay? Ever since you got engaged, everything has turned to shit!
Lillian: You know what? This is supposed to be about my time! You have managed to ruin every event in my wedding. Thank you very much.
Annie: Okay, well, thank you very much. It's all her fault. It is not mine! And you would know that, if you got your beautiful haired head out of your asshole. In fact, out of her asshole, which I'm sure is perfectly bleached.
Lillian: You know what? It is! And you know how I know? Because I went to the fucking salon with her and I got my asshole bleached, too! And I love my new asshole! You know what? Why can't you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later, like a normal person?
Annie: I am happy for you, Lillian. I am very happy for you. I wish you well. I won't bother you any more.
Lillian: Are you kidding me? Annie!
Megan: Go, go, go, go, go!
Lillian: Get back here! Stop. No, no! She does not get a party favor. She does not get a dog! And if you are going to act like this, then don't even bother coming to my wedding!