Jim: What's up, man?
Oz: Hey, guys!
Kev: There he is.
Jim: You made it.
Oz: Hey, I missed your wedding. I wasn't gonna miss this. Hey, buddy.
Jim: What's up, pal?
Oz: Good to see you.
Jim: Yeah, man.
Oz: Hey, Kev!
Kev: Looking good, look at you!
Oz: Oh, stop it. Come on.
Friends: Finch? Finch! Oh, my God! It's great to see you, James. Changed at all, Jim. Good to see you, pal. I didn't think you were gonna make it. Finch, how are you, man?
Finch: So, after my troubles in Beijing, I just moved to Dubai, and then I got all caught up in the world of underground baccarat. Spent the rest of '09 living with this African tribe. Oh, they made me an honorary tribesman.
Kev: Whoa, that looks like it hurt.
Finch: It looks like that because it did hurt, Kevin. Since then, I've just been biking through South America.
Jim: So, basically, you are the most interesting man in the world.
Vega: Let me guess, you guys are here for the reunion, huh?
Oz: You got it. Class of '99.
Vega: Haven't I seen you before?
Oz: Yeah, I'm on TV.
Vega: No, not you. You. 'Cause, your face, you're just so familiar. Yeah! Yeah, this is you, right?
Friends: Oh! Man, Nadia! More, more, you bad boy!
Jim: I swear I had these all taken down. How did you...
Finch: Oh, yeah. How many times did you pre-ejaculate again?
Vega: Oh, leave him alone. I bet you were all desperate virgins back then.
Finch: Selena Vega. That's Selena Vega in front of us.
Jim: Wait, wait, wait, Selena... Hold on, Michelle's friend from band?
Vega: You got it.
Jim: Oh, my God. I'm sorry I didn't recognize you. You look different.
Vega: Well, next round's on me, okay, guys?
Oz: Hey, that chick was in band?
Stifler: This is the first long weekend I have had in a while so I wanna make it count. I want the place spotless, and I want it filled with booze. And I wanna make sure you're not around on Sunday night, 'cause I plan on bringing some ass back from the reunion, and I wanna tap that without you there. You got it?
Mom: You know, first of all, Steven, it's my house. You're lucky I'm letting you stay here.
Stifler: Look, you wanted me to get a job, so I got one. At least let me have the house for the weekend.
Mom: My house, my rules. And as for tonight, if you don't wanna risk coming homeand seeing more of your mother than you'd like, I suggest you stay out late.
Friends: That was really...
Stifler: Hey, bar wench, can I get a Budweiser?
Friends: Beer down.
Stifler: What the fuck are you fuckers doing here?
Jim: You made it!
Stifler: Made what? What are you talking about? What do you mean?
Jim: We sent you an e-mail about getting together a couple of days before the reunion.
Kev: You know what? I must have put two F's in "Stifmeister."
Kev: I'm sorry.
Stifler: Two F's? You dumbass!
Stifler: Hey, Kevin, is that a pussy on your face?
Kev: Oh, come on!
Stifler: Yeah, yeah, yeah! Nice.
Oz: So, Stifler, you're looking sharp. What are you up to these days?
Stifler: I work at JBH Global.
Kev: Wow! That's a big-time firm.
Jim: What do you do over there?
Stifler: Oh, you know, investment stuff.
Finch: People wonder why our financial system's falling apart.
Stifler: Nice scarf. I see you finally came out of the closet.
Finch: How is your mother, Stifler?
Stifler: You stay away from my mom, shitbreak.
Oz: Okay, boys, the past is the past. We can bury the hatchet here, huh?
Stifler: Yeah, fuck it. Hey, short-shorts! A round of Jagerbombs for me and my boys!
Vega: Go fuck yourself, Stifler.
Stifler: How the hell does she know my name?