Stifler: What the fuck is this! Who the hell changed the music?
Friend: Sorry, we thought this was more baby-friendly. Didn't we? Yes, we did.
Stifler: Chester! What have you cock-smokers been up to?
Chelster's partner: Well, we just got engaged.
Stifler: What? That's so fucking gay.
Chester: Yeah, Stifler, we are gay.
Chelster's partner: Half the lacrosse team was gay. You must have known that, right?
Chester: Dude, you walked in on Doug and Barry in the shower...
Stifler: I just thought they were wrestling.
Chester: They were.
Chester's partner: Yeah, they definitely were.
Chester: There just wasn't a loser that night.
Michelle: Are we sure this is Stifler's?
Dad: Ooh! Hors d'oeuvres! Why don't you give this to our host, son?
Classmate: Oh, my God! Look who it is.
Classmate: Sorry for interrupting you guys last night. Bravo, by the way. Most wives stop doing that after they get the ring.
Michelle: What are you talking about?
Classmate: Did you change your hair color?
Jim: So, is your buddy, the other MILF guy, here tonight? I thought you always come to these things together.
Classmate: Let's just say that friendship is a two-way street. Excuse me.
Mia: Could this party get any lamer?
Oz: It's not so bad.
Mia: You want some E?
Oz: No. Why do you have that?
Mia: No one else here probably has any. Are you sure you don't want one?
Oz: Yeah. No... Yes. No.
Mia: Okay. Fine. More for me, then.
Finch: And there they are.
Stifler: There you guys are. Look around. Can you believe this shit?
Oz: Yeah, man. Nice work.
Jim: For you.
Stifler: What the hell am I supposed to do with this?
Finch: That's called wine, Stifler.
Stifler: No, no, no, no, not at my party. I'm going to get us some shots.
Jim: Hey, Kev.
Kev: Can I talk to you guys for a sec?
Jim: Yeah, sure. Wait here, I'll be right back.
Friend: So, you brought the goods?
Michelle: Right here.
Friend: I want to see.
Stifler: What the... Where did those fuckers go?
Dad: Hello, Steven.
Stifler: Mr. Levenstein.
Stifler: You made it.
Dad: It is so great to see all you kids back in town. And what a terrific soiree you're throwing here tonight. Just wonderful!
Stifler: You know what? I'm going to get you fucked up. Have a shot.
Dad: Oh! No, no, no. I don't think so, Steven. I'm not much of a drinker.
Stifler: Drink it. Drink it! Drink it!
Dad: No, I can't.
Stifler: Drink it! Drink it! Awesome! Let's do another one.
Dad: I don't think so.
Jim: Look, Kev, you don't know for sure if anything happened.
Kev: I woke up next to her in bed, and all our clothes were off. I mean, whatever happened, I feel guilty.
Finch: Kevin, in France, it's only considered cheating if your wife catches you in the act.
Kev: She's here. I gotta go.