Charlie: Two guys alone in the afternoon watching Doctor Zhivago. There's something gravely wrong here.
Jake: It's all there, man. The yearning, the suffering, a woman you'll pursue through blizzards, across continents. A love so real, even after you're dead it still hurts. That's all I want.
Charlie: You need to get out. You do. You need to see real people.
Jake: You wanna watch it again?
Charlie: No. I want to go out. Come on, Ipreviewed some Internet ads for us.
Jake: Internet ads? Come on, I want Zhivago's Internet ad: "Tragic doctor/poet in desperate pain seeks like-minded playmate for long snowshoe across Eurasia." What do you bet he gets a hundred responses for that one?
Charlie: I thought we'll start with bisexual Asian women who fly-fish.
Jake: No Internet ads.
Charlie: I’m doing this for you. I hate to fly-fish.
Jake: No, you don't.
Charlie: What about Sherry? I gave you her number. She said you never called.
Jake: Sherry? Sherry's 24 years old. Her range of interest extends from kickboxing to Tae Bo.
Charlie: She's gorgeous, and she slept with half the guys in my office.
Jake: Then why do you want to set me up with her?
Charlie: She slept with half the guys in my office.
Jake: She's in her early 20s. You know the epic narrative I talked about? Hers would not only be secret, it would be incoherent. I wouldn't get past the cover page. I mean, I'm looking for something more than Sherry.
Christine: "Hopelessly romantic, young 50s widower seeks lady friend who enjoys the slow bloom of affection. Loves dogs, children and long, meandering bike rides. I will be carrying a single yellow rose."
Sarah: Oh, I gotta meet this guy.
Carol: Where are your boob shirts?
Sarah: My what?
Carol: Your boob shirts.
Christine: Don't worry, I brought some of mine.
Sarah: Oh, boob shirts. I can't wear that.
Christine: Okay, I have some dating tips for you. I got them from Sports Illustrated. Solid gold.
Sarah: Yes, that's always been my bible for personal relationships.
Carol: At least listen to the tips. Your sister has gone to a lot of trouble here.
Christine: "One, maintain eye contact. But be sure it isn't too intense. You aren't a hawk eyeing its prey."
Sarah: Oh, it’s good that you told me that. 'Cause I might have done my hawk thing.
Christine: "Two, men respond sexually when they think women are excited by them."
Christine: "The more you like what you see, the more your pupils will open wide to take it all in." Open your pupils.
Sarah: Oh, my God. I'm dating again. Dating? I can't do this!
Carol: It's okay. Come on.
Christine: No, you'll be fine, it's okay.
Carol: It'll be fun.
Sarah: What if he wants to have sex? What if I want to have sex? No, no. You don't understand. It's been a long time, Christine. I could freak out. What if I can't control myself?
Carol: You're meeting for muffins in a public place. I think you'll be safe.
Bill: Sarah. My darling girl. Darling, don't you put the sunshine to shame.
Sarah: What are you doing here?
Bill: That's a fine how-do-you-do from one of my favorite daughters.
Sarah: I'm sorry, it's just that I'm meeting a...why do you have a yellow...? Is that a rose?
Bill: It is a rose, if the truth be told. But by any other name...
Sarah: And it's for a lady friend, isn't it?
Bill: That is, in fact, the very purpose.
Bill: Now, Sarah, come on. It is a natural course of this life that your dad would have a lady friend by now. I feel your saintly mother whispering her approval to me every day.
Sarah: And would this lady friend be someone who might enjoy the slow bloom of affection, perhaps?
Bill: That would be grand, yes.
Sarah: I'm your date, Dad. I am. I answered my own father's personal ad. (Bill laughs) Don't laugh. It's not funny!
Bill: It shows I brought you up to know the diamond from the riffraff, that’s all.
Sarah: A young 50, Dad? You're 71.
Sarah: And when was the last time you rode a bike? Meandering or any other way?
Bill: Well, think of it as poetry, darling. As who I am in the bottom of my soul. And, Sarah, my darling.
Bill: I'm glad you've started dating again.
Sarah: Dad, please. This is disturbing on so many levels. At least let me have the rose.
Bill: I can't. I'm seeing someone else at 4:00.