Sarah: It's okay. Stop that growling! Use your words.
Jake: Stop, sit. Stop, sit. Stop. Sit.
Sarah: I don't think he knows "stop" or "sit." What else have you got?
Jake: Bruno, focus. Roll over and play dead. Hey, look at that. Look at that.
Sarah: That's very impressive.
Jake: You Sarah?
Jake: Yeah, hi.
Sarah: Yeah. Hi.
Jake: I didn't recognize you without the cap and gown.
Sarah: Oh, yeah.
Sarah: Yeah. This is really amazing.
Jake: Yeah. It is. You know, when he plays dead, he really plays dead. You don't know the half of it. He can stop his heart like a Sufi mystic.
Sarah: Does he sleep on a doggy bed of nails?
Jake: As a matter of fact, he does. He feels nothing. Or perhaps he feels too much.
Sarah: I think he wants his treat now.
Jake: You think so? While he's playing dead? It might ruin the whole effect.
Sarah: I don't know. He's your dog.
Jake: Actually he's not my dog. He's my friend Charlie's.
Sarah: So you're here under false pretenses.
Jake: No, not at all. You said "must love dogs," not "must own dogs." I do love dogs. In fact, I had one with my ex. She was allergic, went into anaphylactic shock. So we had to put her down. Dog. Not the wife. I'm kidding about both. This is a beautiful canine you have here. Hi.
Sarah: Yes, this is Mother Teresa.
Jake: Yeah, she plays with lepers? Comforts the poor? Yeah. How long you had her?
Sarah: Technically, she's not really mine. She's my brother's.
Jake: I'm shocked and saddened. False pretenses.
Sarah: Well, we are related. She's family. And I do really love dogs, and my ex was allergic also. Yes, he often had "anaphyphlectic" shock.
Jake: You're making that up.
Sarah: Yes, I am.
Jake: Me too. Tell me, I'm just curious about one thing. Why did you write "voluptuous"?
Sarah: Oh, my...
Jake: No! I did not mean to be rude at all. It's just that voluptuous, that tends to go the other way when someone uses that phrase. Towards the full-figured end of the spectrum.
Sarah: Oh, I didn't know there was a full-figured spectrum.
Jake: Yeah, it is one of those words they use in personal ads like "Rubenesque" or "weight proportionate to height", right? Hey, it's your ad. You can say whatever you want, I'm... Just for the record, girl says "athletic," usually she means "flat-chested." which you're not. But... This isn't coming out right. Look, you know, I'm sorry. I'm... I'm a little nervous. I'm not used to meeting people this way.
Sarah: Really? You seem very practiced and smooth.
Jake: Your ad doesn't do you justice. That's what I'm saying.
Sarah: Well, maybe you should rewrite my ad for me.
Jake: Well, maybe I don't want to.
Sarah: And why not?
Jake: Because maybe I don't want anyone else to answer it.
Sarah: Did you plan on saying that sometime today?
Jake: No, I didn't. But it's good, isn't it?
Sarah: It is good.
Jake: It's a good line.
Sarah: Maybe we should try this over again.
Jake: Sure. Hi, I'm Jake.
Jake: So why would you even write an ad? You know, you don't seem that desperate.
Sarah: Why would you answer one? Talk about desperate.
Jake: Oh, I'm not. I mean, I didn't. It was my friend's. He gave it to me.
Sarah: I didn't write it. My sister did.
Jake: Your sister's ad. Your brother's dog. Those your shoes?
Sarah: Oh, my. Look at the time! Come on, honey.
Jake: I guess what I'm trying to say is I'd like to get to know you really.
Sarah: I have to get this dog home, and you don't want to go over on your rental.
Jake: No, no. I would... Maybe we could try this another time. You know, without the dogs.
Sarah: You bet.
Jake: I'll call you.
Jake: You know, Sarah, for the record...you are kind of voluptuous in a minimalist sort of way.