Kids' dads: Hi, June. Hey, June. Hi, June. Hey, June.
June: Need more cupcakes, Sarah. All the dads are staying for the party. What's up with that?
Sarah: I have no idea.
June: Every Halloween it's the same thing. But I guess it's great how involved they are in their kids' world. Isn't it?
Sarah: Why don't you and Eric come over tonight? I'll rent a hopelessly romantic movie. We can all hold hands together and cry.
Leo: Sounds fun, but we can't. It's our anniversary, and we always spend it just the two of us.
Sarah: Oh. Sweet.
Leo: Seven years ago tonight, we met at my parents' house. They were trying to fix Eric up with my sister. Oops.
Bob: Sorry we're late. Austin drives so slow.
Sarah: Listen, I hope my family wasn't too embarrassing last night.
Bob: Oh, no. Not at all. They do seem a little bit involved in your life.
Sarah: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Bob: Austin's mom's from a large family. That's a whole lot of people that don't speak to me any more.
Sarah: Thimbleful of juice?
Bob: Sure. But just one. To good teachers.
Sarah: To good dads.
Bob: To good teachers who are also very beautiful.
Sarah: To good dads who are dangerously cute and charming.
Bob: There you go. There's an attraction here, Sarah. You can't deny it.
Sarah: I'm not. I'm trying to ignore it.
Sarah: Well, for one, Austin is my student. Two, we're in the puppet closet.
Bob: Couldn't we go out sometime in the real world?
Sarah: I'm not so good in the real world.
Bob: I was looking at the handbook, under "dating, parents and teachers." Nothing. There's nothing there.
Teacher: Sarah. We need the emergency pants. It's an emergency.
Sarah: Emergency pants. Come on, sweetie.
Ron: Hey, babe, my name is Ron. Mid-40s, handsome, totally toned, 5'7", 161 pounds, give or take a piece of pizza. No, I'm not kidding. I'm totally toned. Call me, you won't be sorry.
Lennie: Hi, Sarah, it's Lennie. I had a wonderful time, and I'm...(start crying) I'll call back.
Jake: Hi, Sarah? It's Jake Anderson, the idiot from the dog park. Actually, that was all a test to see how you respond to crazy people, and you passed. So maybe we could see each other again. What do you say? You want to give me another chance?
Jake: You know, I had a couple of icebreakers. I even had a few stories for you, anecdotes, but I forgot them all. I think it might be that dress.
Sarah: My sister Carol made me buy it.
Jake: I love Carol.
Sarah: Well, this is a very charming place.
Sarah: Good food?
Jake: No, not particularly. But I like the ambiance. I come here because I know the owners, the Parseghians, that couple over there. See? They're waving.
Sarah: They want us to join them.
Jake: Oh, well. A few years ago, in a moment of blazing clarity, I forswore ethnic folk dancing, so... They'll come over and say hello and maybe...
Mr. Parseghian: How are you?
Jake: Hi! How are you?
Jake: Nice, right? Sarah, Mr. And Mrs. Parseghian.
Mr. Parseghian: Welcome, Sarah. (speaking in Armenian to his wife) Why can’t you wear a dress like that?
Mrs. Parseghian: (speaking in Armenian) If you looked like him, I would wear a dress like that.
Jake: See you later. We'll drink.
Mrs. Parseghian: Absolutely.
Sarah: You speak Armenian.
Jake: A little bit.
Sarah: Well, what did you say?
Jake: I asked him, "where is the youth hostel?" It's all I remember. Kind of a joke we have.
Sarah: What is it that you do, exactly? God, no wonder I live alone.
Jake: I build boats. You know, these handcrafted wooden sculls...rowing. The racing ones.
Sarah: Yeah. Really?
Jake: Yeah. Yep.
Sarah: Does anyone buy those?
Jake: Nope. Not yet. Everybody wants all these high-tech...fiberglass, you know, no turbulence. Where's the fun in that ride? I don't know. But they'll come around.
Sarah: Well, don't count on me. I get seasick. In the bathtub.
Jake: You know what? Can we just skip all the small talk?
Jake: Can we skip the small talk? Just skip it? You know, like, who are you? Who am I? What are we doing here together tonight? I have this theory that when you first meet somebody, that's the time when you have to be totally honest, because you have nothing to lose. Five, 10 years down the road, gets a lot harder. You can't say one day, "Happy anniversary, this is the real me." It doesn't work that way. This is it. We'll never see each other as clearly and as nakedly as we do in this moment. Right now. This instant. I'm really scaring you right now, aren't I?
Sarah: Just a little bit. Yeah. But, you know, on the one hand, you're very charming and interesting and you have a lot of energy. You know, on the other hand, a little bit scary.
Jake: Okay. Well, here's my story. Here's what you need to know.
Jake: I'm just divorced, and I had my heart broken badly by a woman that I really loved. You know, but I think your heart grows back bigger. You know? Once you've got the shit beat out of you. And the universe lets your heart expand that way. I think that's the function of all this pain and heartache that we all go through. You know, you gotta go through that to come out to a better place. And that's how I see it anyway. What about you? Why is a dazzling woman like you single? Come on. You can do it. You can just tell me the truth. If you know the truth. Just be honest. What have we got to lose, you know? After the dinner we shake hands, "good night," never see each other again.
Sarah: All right. He stopped loving me. I don't know what I did or what I didn't do. He just stopped. I don't think I've ever said that out loud before.
Jake: See, that was great. We just totally had an honest moment. Now we can sit back and enjoy our food and get to know each other. I'm Jake.